Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Staple it together, Call it bad weather.

Apparently today was designated as a bad day before I even got up. But no one told me. The only thing keeping me from going postal was listening to Jack Johnson on the way to work. For which I was 30 minutes late. Because my husband held up the bathroom until 9:42 when I am supposed to leave for work at 9:45. And then he made ME take the dogs outside. Damn It!

Today I have discovered a new hatred for mom's in Dodge intrepids with tinted windows! NO NO NO! WHY do you live in Illinois, drive a white or silver four door sedan, and feel the need to tint the windows! NO! I know that you think you look cool BUT YOU DON'T!

I was pretty speedy this morning. In 15 minutes I had showered, brushed my teeth, dried my hair, put on my makeup, and was getting dressed. All in 15 minutes. That's when the real roadblock hit. I had decided that I would wear a cute dress that I have, to fight the fact that it's like 29 degrees here today with forecasts of snow, and press forward with the fact that it is FINALLY officially, spring. I got my dress on, push-up bra intact, and my little cardigan hoodie to wear over it, and was all ready, when I realized that I couldn't find any PANTYHOSE. Did I even HAVE anymore? I have a bad habit of wearing them once and tossing them because I don't have time to "special wash" the damn things.

So I was tearing around tossing clothes and underwear out of every drawer, and I opened the door to my closet- BEHOLD the towering mountain of things. I was about ready to clean the closet to find the pantyhose when the angel that's a pain in my ass whispered "Wouldn't it be Faster and Easier to change your clothes instead of cleaning your closet to find pantyhose that you aren't even sure are IN there? Especially when you are late already?" And the devil on my other shoulder yelled out "Why yes fucking angel, it would be. But I woke up wanting to WEAR this DRESS and if my stupid job didn't insist that I wear PANTYHOSE to work I could just NOT wear them." And upon hearing the devilish thoughts, I had a few thoughts of my own. consisting of "I'll just go to the Wal-Marts and get a pair" and "I don't HAVE to do what they say!" and then I ran my hand over my leg- DAMN! Stubble. But I JUST shaved! Didn't I? Sunday? Ugh. So I ran down to the dryer, ripped off the dress, and put on ALL black in mourning of the spring day that I wasn't going to have and the sexy dress that I couldn't wear.

I hate it when the angel wins. It makes me so angry that I turn into the Devil for the rest of the day.

I am thinking I should get a tattoo of a devil on my right shoulder (on my back) and an angel on my left. Significance being that the devil is right and the angel gets left. lol.

UPDATE: since I wrote this post 30 minutes ago, I shattered a plate on the floor that wasn't even mine (oops, I hid it in the garbage) and Dumped a whole cup of ice on the floor. I should just go back to BED!

Spend a little time and we can do whatever, and if we get together we'll be twice as clever. So Staple it together, then call it bad weather.
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