Property of Captain Jack!

Can it be Sunday already? At least I gained an hour. Last night was the Dawg House Halloween Party. I have Lotsa Pictures on Flickr. My favorite costume was Raymond as Flava Flave. You just have to see the pictures. Husband did an awesome job drawing my tattoo on... lots of people thought it was real and "didn't know I had it" and most other people had NO Idea that Jack Sparrow had that tattoo, or that Johnny Depp really DOES have that tattoo in real life now, with Jack under it for his son Jack. I wanted to add "property of Cap'n Jack" to it but I didn't want it to be too busy and gaudy.

Today I need to clean up around home, set the clocks back, do the laundry, run the dishwasher, vacuum, feed the dogs, and carve my pumpkin. Then I need to go change the tapes at work and go to Wal-Mart and buy candy for Halloween Trick-or-Treaters. Plenty to do. Tomorrow I have class again. Keeping this short and sweet, check out the pictures when you have a moment.

It's tough being a pirate...

Ahhh.... Friday. How do I love thee. Let me count the ways!

Last night was okay. I ate pizza at work in the evening, and was home around 7:30pm. I sat down and started to tear apart the pirate costume that I bought on eBay. This is the second costume mind you. It was supposed to be adjustable to fit all plus sizes (me, I am on that line between XL and 1X) and when it came, it was super cute, but okay, it looked like a tent on me. The skirt was HUGE. It was easily twice as big around as it had to be. When you hold it up it looks like one of those "look how much weight I lost" commercials. So I tore out the side seams and cut it in half, and then removed the drawstring and put on elastic. I attempted to watch Grey's Anatomy while working on the skirt, I got all parked on the couch with my little sewing basket and then saw that it was **gasp!** a re-run!

SO I turned it off and fixed the skirt. Husband came home and I showed him, I put the skirt on under my pajamas and marched around being all pirate wench like. Then I got the brilliant idea to put on my pirate shoes, with my new legwarmers too. What an outfit that must have been! So I was traipsing around the house with my pirate Mary Janes and my legwarmers on, and my pirate skirt and my pajamas. Husband was making Taco-Roni, like Goulash but taco flavored. I said to husband "Do you think pirates wore legwarmers?" and he laughed. "No. probably not" he said. "Not even in the 80's?" I asked. He said "you look more like a stripper than a pirate." And I replied... "A Pirate Stripper. I like that!"

But he put the kabosh on all my fun when I stuck my plastic sword through the center of his beer bread on his plate, while he was eating. He was all pissy about how there were probably germs on that foreign plastic sword and I was like LIGHTEN UP! And he said "don't play in my food!" and I was all sad and dejected. I hate getting scolded for having a good time. A Pirate would have made him walk the plank for being all uptight and ruining the fun. At least he didn't take my sword away! So I took off the legwarmers, and the shoes, and the pirate skirt, and made popcorn. I was sitting cross-legged on the couch with a blanket over my legs, and eating popcorn, and Husband reached into the bowl and grabbed a handfull and I growled "DON'T PLAY IN MY FOOD." Damn husbands. He pretty much left me alone the rest of the night. I watched a Knight's Tale with Heath Ledger. How romantic. And How amazingly hot is Heath Ledger. The dirtier he is the better he looks. Why can't husband be all romantic? Of course what little of the movie he watched with me, he had to make gagging and revolting noises whenever they would kiss or he would send her a letter or flowers. Stupid men. Why is it that romance is so DEAD now? What happened to being nice to get into a woman's skirts?

Poison Spaghetti

Last night was a good night. I got home and started supper- Railroad Tracks (BBQ Ribs in a Box) and Baked Potatoes (a sweet potato for me!) and then we watched a little TV. I watched Monday's episode of CSI Miami, and we gave H a hard time. H as in our dog. I wanted to name him Horatio after Horatio Cane but He didn't look like a Horatio at all (not that David Caruso does) and so we called him Hadley with "H" for short. So I was telling H to pay attention to the TV and take a bite out of crime, and husband clarified for me that H couldn't solve a crime, he just isn't that intelligent. I beg to differ, if dog bones were at stake, he would tear someone's head off for them. He is very posessive of things like bones, beds, babies, and bowls. I think that comes from a shelter background. When you've been in the pen for a while, you protect what's yours. I can respect that.

Alex came over and he and Evan played Bully, although it looked more like Alex playing and Evan watching. I was online for a while perusing eBay, and I recalled that I forgot to setup the power bill payment online. Shit Shit Shit. So I look and it was due today, which meant it wasn't due (last night) until Tomorrow. But when I scheduled an online payment, it takes 2 days to process. So today husband has to run a check to the payment center. Oops.

Once I got bored with watching them make out with teenage girls in catholic school uniforms (on the GAME, they play kids in the game) I went into the scrapbook room and broke out the All About You album that I need to make about husband. I got started and I quite enjoyed it. It's a great album. Perhaps even better than the All About Me Album that got auto-delivered from QVC and finished months ago. I got the first 12 pages and the last page done, so that's 13/20 pages complete. I still have some journaling to do. Everytime I would journal I would cry. Isn't that retarted. Yep, Love is grand. But I found some good pictures of husband to use in the album, mostly ones that I took of him on our honeymoon, and our wedding day, but some others too. I have one somewhere of him in someone else's Austin Powers Wig with his baseball hat on over it and a beer in his hand... and I need to find that one for the book, it would be perfect.

We watched some tivo'd episodes of Robot Chicken and Freak Show, and one of Awesome X. We ate popcorn and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at 2:15am and then we went to bed. I slept like a rock, not waking up till 9:30 and not getting OUT Of bed till 10:10am. Yeah!

Got dressed, stopped at the bank, got to work. Whole deal.

Oh and I have a soft vertical impaction of my bottom right wisdom tooth. At least that's my professional diagnoses based off internet research. My wisdom tooth has been making me wiser for about 4 years now, cutting through and going under, and one month I got tired of it so I cut off the skin over half of it. I thought that the front half of it MIGHT be underneath the molar in front of it, but then last night I feel the back half coming through. Problem is, it is still just barely too close to the molar in front of it, and so for about the last 6 months, it has been forcing my molars crooked on that side and pushing my perfectly straight teeth crooked and forward and crowding my bottom front teeth. Bummer. So I made a dentist's appointment about 3 weeks ago, and last night I was thinking "not going to make it!" it was hurting so bad, and actually the teeth in FRONT Of it were hurting the worst. And the gums around them. So I flossed alot. And used Orajel alot. And November 3rd I go to get some xrays where they will probably tell me to get it pulled, and I might not even fight it. If it's impacted, there's nothing I can do.

So, that's the word.

My piratey mary janes came in today. Hold Hot Shoes Batman! But there is the whole 3.5 inch heel thing, where you feel like a stripper without the S, as in you might trip on your ass at any minute. I tried them on this morning with my pirate socks and they are SWEET! But not sure if I will be able to wear them unless it's for Halloween and I am parked on a bar stool. LOL. I totally need to take in my pirate skirt this week, and get new cookie sheets as for some reason my wearever cookie sheet seems shot. It burns everything. I don't get it. It is about 7 years old.... but I didn't know they could just "quit" on you. I don't understand. I made up a shopping list and It reads like this:

• Paper Towels
• Sticks of Butter
• Bottled H2O
• Hamburger
• Spaghetti Sauce
• Poison

Yep. Poison. Looks like I am cooking up some death burgers, but really we just have mice in the basement again, and the poisons are empty.... so time to refill. Husband's life is safe. You can totally eat spaghetti with us. It's okay. Really.

Have a Nice Day!

Call Me, Call Me Call Me Anytime!

You know, yesterday was a LONG ASS DAY. My brain was exhausted. There was so much going on at work it was unbelievable. Although I believe that I was one of the few that LOOKED untouched by it all, (others were running around like headless chickens) By the end of the day I was so exhausted that I realized that it can be especially difficult to maintain that smooth veneer. Whew! I didn't leave work until 8:30pm and I didn't get home to my house until almost 10:45pm.

Husband and I went to Country Kitchen for supper at 9pm (they have a fabulous new menu, I had Cilantro Chicken Flatbread) and I was letting out great big sighs. He was like "what's wrong" and I told him about my day. I said "you know how you take your straw wrapper and you coil it up like a snail shell? And then when you let it go, it unrolls itself and relaxes? That is my brain. All day it's been coiled up so tight and I can just feel it trying to relax."

I slept in today, when I usually get up early on Fridays so that I don't have to stay so late on Friday nights. But today I was so tired I didn't even CARE if I had to stay late.

Tonight we were scheduled to have a pumpkin carving night at my mom's, but my sister (who works two jobs) will be working too much to attend, and Evan just found out last night that he will be in the fields for most of the weekend. So mom and I decided to postpone and wait for rain. Saturday we are going to the Haunted Fairgrounds in Princeton. Now please note, I have NEVER been to a haunted house with the exception of in a barn once when I was younger at a Halloween party. I HATE not being in control and therefore the haunted anything creeps me out. It's not that I am afraid of the things inside, I am more afraid of not being able to control where I go and all that jazz. SO this should be interesting. I keep telling myself that I made it through the Alien "ride" by Stephen Spielberg at Disney (even though husband DRUG me inside against my crying whining will) and therefore I should easily be able to handle a little of this, right?

So today I am in a pretty good mood. I thought I was going to get to wear my new Pirate Mary Janes to work for casual Friday. I waited for the UPS man to come. When he brought the shoes from Zappos, I was SO disappointed because only husband's were shipped. So now I have to wait for my pirate mary janes until probably at LEAST monday. oh dear. So I wore my stripey socks and my regular mary jane's, in defiance. The cool thing about Zappos? Besides the obviously HUGE selection of shoe sin every shape size color and price range? The free shipping both ways. And free exchanges for 365 days if the shoes are still unworn. Yeah.

Yesterday I ordered new business cards, (personal cards, whatever.... my job doesn't warrant business cards apparently, but I can't complain because personal cards are SO much more fun. So here's a screenshot of the front and back of my new personal cards. I can't wait for them to arrive! Obviously a saucy pirate theme. Click to make the picture big enough to read the details. I have obviously swirled and twirled my street address and telephone number to try to avoid internet stalkers from coming to haunt me. So How's THAT for a calling card?

I figure I can send them off with my swapbot swaps, and my ATC's, and all that jazz. It's great really, because I met a new friend at a recent class that I took in Peoria and I was so upset that I didn't have a card to give her. I haven't bought any cards since I stopped selling Pampered Chef and since I got married and changed my name. SO this was especially fun. I ordered them yesterday and they already shipped! Yeah! So now I will have them in time for the wearing of my pirate costume, so I can give out calling cards if I so choose! Oh, and if you feel like you want some cool business/personal cards like that, you can always order them through me, I get a $2.00 order credit for each person I refer, and I have been ordering business/personal cards from this company for over 7 years straight and have ALWAYS been estatic with my order. Click Here to order cards and other printed products (magnets, stationary, re-inkable stampers, etc) with my referral.

Check out my Booty!

Oh another reason why I am jolly today, the ordering of my newest shoes. I can wear them with my pirate wench costume, and then, Beyond! I can not wait! Stripey socks, pirate hat, and now, Jolly Roger Mary Janes!

I won't let him be gay.

Wearing: Black Gauchos, a black babydoll shirt with pink and white flowers, black cork heeled sandals with rhinestone buckles... pink toenails, Dangling black hoop earrings and straight hair.
Listening: Hinder Get Stoned and Lips of an Angel (watch the Videos Here)
Eating: Leftover Rips Chicken

Well, I am so addicted to Hinder. I completely have a picture in my head of what the lead singer would look like. Totally hot. Like smoking hot. Rough. Lots of facial hair. Totally Cut. Probably a little dirty. Jeans. I am guessing no shirt. I can completely see him. He might look a little like Chris Evan's in this picture or maybe Eric Balfour in this picture. Gulp. Of course, Anya saw them in concert September 12th, with Chevelle and Nickleback, and told me that he if the lead singer isn't gay, it would be a miracle. I adore gay men. I do. But this can't happen. I totally had my picture in my mind. I mean LISTEN to that guy's voice. It's totally hot.

So she showed me a picture on the internet on Sunday and I was like Wha? how? It's impossible that little guy opens his mouth and THAT sound comes out! Jeez! He is so NOT what I need him to be! Oh well. She said "look at his hand. His hand was like that the entire time he was singing" and so basically she's trying to tell me that he is flamin'. I have found some pics online where he kinda puts me in mind of the Crow.... but still, nothing like I need. So I told myself that he is all lip synching and that there is a totally hot and scruffy guy behind the scenes singing. But then I watched the videos. And granted, he does seem a bit strange when singing, but I don't think that he is necessarily gay. But maybe Matt can help with this. I don't really think that many gay guys would agree to do a video where he is in the shower with a naked chick (2 chicks really, one naked and one ALMOST naked.) And I don't think he would be all down with a chick in leather hot pants crawling all over him. But.... maybe that's the image that the record producers want him to have. And if the titties don't bother him, why not?

You see, I love fantasies, and I am not about to let mine be ruined by having the guy singing that song be gay and therefore "unfantasizable." I guess, worse case scenario, Anya and I could hang onto our "gay husband" theory, where we really need three husbands. One who is a totally hunk. Like the poolboy. Think Jessie Metcalf on Desperate Housewives. He fulfills our every desire. He makes you feel like a woman. Hot. Then one who is a really good looking gay guy- nice dresser, takes us shopping, comes home with these "fabulous strappy shoes" that he just knew I had to have. And then just the regular "guy's guy" who sits on the couch with the remote or the one you see glued to the TV in sports bars.... except I haven't figured out why we even NEED that third guy if we have the hot guy and the gay guy... except that we had that conversation aroung Brad and Evan- so maybe we were trying to soften the blow.

And our husbands were like jaw dropping because they assume that as women, we don't have any fantasies. We just do dishes and laundry, right? Well. The guys (I think it was Evan) made the comment that they would have three wives, a redhead, blonde, and a brunette. And I told Evan that I can be all his fantasies, and I will dye my hair blonde on one side, red on the other, and black from behind. That got everyone cracking up.

So. Moving on. (although it's hard to tear my attention away from the Hinder Fantasy guy.) I do like his tattoos though (the real singer.) It's strange that I like tatoos on SOME guys, but hate them on others. It's just something about pulling them off I guess. And while I like tattoos, I REALLY don't want my husband to have any. Probably because everything he picks or mentions, I am like "what?!" I just don't know. I like my husband looking just the way he is. I guess I worry that if he gets a tattoo, I might not like it, or he might turn into one of those guys who I don't like tattoos on. That would be so upsetting! There is a fine line that can be walked with men and tattoos. If you do it wrong, instead of looking tough and sexy, you get all skanky and strung out looking. And if you have something stupid, or in a stupid place... you can get all goofy looking. Like how about the Greek Tattoo on a overgrown frat boy? Not cool. And sometimes some of the coolest tattoo's that are really colorful, are a turn off. I like to see the art, I think they are awesome, but I mostly am not a fan of all bright colored tattoos. I like dark ones. Blacks and Blues and Purples. Maybe Green. For Halloween Evan is going to draw a tattoo on me like Johnny Depp's Captain Jack Sparrow Tattoo. But instead of saying "Jack" under it, I will either leave it blank, or put "property of Cap'n Jack." Not sure. My pirate costume STILL hasn't arrived. I am starting to get frustrated. I have my hat. My mom saw the hat in the living room and she came in and said "Oh my god, that Pirate Hat is SO you!" and it cracked me up, because I was thinking "can I pull off that sexy, frilly hat with the big red bows and plume feathers?" and then mom said "It's SO you" like three times and I was thinking "I KNEW I was a pirate! I KNEW it!" So I am thinking that tonight I will traipse around the house in the only pieces of my pirate costume that I have.... my fancy hat and my stripey socks. That should get me in the mood for pirattitude!

Last night it was very stormy. Evan ran to Casey's and I went into our room. I was propped up on the bed reading, and suddenly, the sprinking outside turned into some RAGING winds and hail. In a split second, it roared up and blew the window fans out of the bedroom and bathroom windows. I jumped up and ran from room to room shutting windows, but in the 40 seconds it took me to shut 4 windows, the window sills and the floors and anything within 4 feet of the windows were SOAKED. Evan came flying in the driveway and pulled up by the back door. I went to the back porch and was looking out. I had my hand on the aluminum screen door, and a Big lightening bolt flashed across the sky, and I got shocked through the door! It was just like touching an electric fence. Holy Cow! Evan came running inside, he was SOAKED. It looked like he just got out of the shower. LOL. The dogs were pacing and the trees were swirling around. The Ghosts stayed in the tree... which proves that Spiderwire is awesome and my husband was right. WZOE said 50 mp winds and dime sized hail was coming through.

So I got quite a bit of reading done last night.... I finished Ya-Ya's in Bloom over the weekend and I am about 3/4 of the way through Little Altars Everywhere right now (also by Rebecca Wells.) My goal is to have them both finished by tomorrow night before my mom comes over, so that I can give them back to her.

So now I await my pirate costume, my camoflauge Chuck Taylors, my red Chuck Taylor "simples", and my Pottery Barn Kids Halloween Calendar. My tupperware order came in yesterday and I was able to organize all my flours and sugars in the new modular mate super ovals. My mom has my label maker, and once she brings it to me tomorrow, I will label them and everything will be PERFECT in the OCD kitchen. Except of course for the fruit flies that we got in the apples that we picked.... and even though we removed the apples, the fruit flies seem to be swarming and choking us. It's so hard to get rid of fruit flies. We spray them with OFF Skintastic when we see them. LOL. I also await my Stampin Up Order from CB's party. Oh yes, and my order from Kathryn-Beich to support a co-worker's daughter (school sales.) Can you say "shopaholic?" Ohhhh! And I forgot, I am also awaiting my early birthday present from husband- my baby pink double-breasted wool peacoat! Yummy! My next purchase will be a replacement camera. I keep saying that, but other things keep getting in the way and eating up my ca$h. I need more hoes to pimp! Actually, I don't have any hoes. But I could be a pimp. I am my own pimp. I think it would be fun to pimp out men. Like have a whole cast of pool boys and just be in charge of them.

Anyway, back to shopping... I am a Home Party Addict. I would be willing to bet that I attend or purchase from an average of 20 home parties a year. And that is not an exxageration. I have, however, limited myself to hosting ONE home party per year at my house. Add that up with at least one cookout in the summer and one holiday (usually Thanksgiving) and I think I do my share of entertaining. This fall we are having Thanksgiving again (per usual) but we have the issue of seating. Now that Evan's brother has a girlfriend, that adds in another person. So immediate families now adds up to ten guests. Thankfully I have enough plates, silverware, and wine glasses. And I ALMOST have enough fancy fall napkins with leaf napkin rings. I think I have enough Napkin Rings but not as many napkins. So before the gathering, I need to purchase a new poly-resin buffet size table. I have one in the scrapbook room, that folds in half. I love it, but after about a year of use, it bows in the center. So I have continuously meant to purchase a new one, but just haven't done it yet. So before Thanksgiving, I need to do that.

Every year I make the Turkey the day ahead of time, take all the meat off the bones, and keep it warm and moist in the crock-pot. This year, we plan on deep frying the turkey(s) or at least Turkey Breasts. That will be fun. This year Thanksgiving is the day before My Birthday. Two Years ago it was the day after. I was born the day after Thanksgiving. My mom was in labor during Thanksgiving. In fact, she was HOSTING thanksgiving. She woke up that morning and had contractions while she was standing at the sink peeling potatoes. While everyone else ate Turkey dinner, she was lying upstairs in bed. Wasn't that nice of them? Don't wanna interrupt dinner or anything... right? But then I think, what 9 month pregnant and ready to pop woman hosts Thanksgiving?! My mom. She can do ANYTHING even when you think she's nuts. I guess that's where I get it.

So this Friday I have a "dentist appointment" and Anya and I will take Ava to Tanner's Orchard for pumpkins and apple cider and apple cider donuts and pictures. It will be SO much fun, and it is supposed to be 70 and sunny, so I am looking for a fabulous weekend. Today it is supposed to reach 90 and they are talking about breaking a record Illinois high for October 3rd. ooohhhh. Exciting! It was all I could do to make myself get dressed and come to work today. It was already so nice this morning... I was dying to be at home.

Swap-Riffic

Wearing: Black pants with white pinstripes, teal button down shirt, black loafers, socks with dogs and fall leaves.
Listening: Silence. Ahhhh.
Link of the Day: http://www.cabbagepatchkids.com It's the coolest, tour Babyland General Hospital, see the Cabbage Patch Timeline, and special edition as well as original all-fabric cabbage patch kids.

Me Pirate gear arrived today. A feathery lacey hat with a plume feather fit for a pirate queen, 2 pair of stripey socks, and the book Pirattitude by Cap'n Slappy and Ol' Chumbucket. Oh and I also got my adorable gifty gift from the "sew my name" swap, which I haven't even STARTED yet... and I need to do this weekend along with wrapping up my "fall swap" and finishing ATC's for 3 swaps that I am behind on. (bad bad swapper!) Also arriving today were the converse that perfectly match my own, only smaller. They are so freaking adorable!

I got to start my day with a pap exam, which is fabulous of course. Then I ate a turkey wrap, an apple Evan picked at his parents' farm, and a bottle of water. All is right in the world.

So this Saturday I have a Stampin Up Workshop to attend, and a surprise party with a live band for a certain someone who will remain un-named. I can't WAIT! Then Sunday I got invited to do some fun things but I really really can't because I have to do laundry and I have to finish the ATC's, the Sew my name swap, and Apparently with the acquired large box of apples I might be making apple crisp. It also occurred to me that I need to clean the office as I have been putting it off for exactly 6 weeks and I can't put it off anymore and expect to have room to start me "All About Him" scrapbook Album that arrived last Friday (QVC Auto-shipment) and finish the ATC's. It also occurred to me that I have all the paint and glue and the kit for my new dollhouse but I haven't even started. So really I would be happy with a weekend at home. The month of September has been extremely busy. I can't wait for October. It will be great to have nothing planned, even if for one full weekend I can just do whatever I want instead of running from place to place.

And you know... my pirate COSTUME itself hasn't arrived yet. I am worried it won't fit and I will have to buy another one. Ugh. HURRY UP COSTUME PEEPS! Send it!

"The Plastic Exterior is All I Saw"

Wow. I really loved Wife Swap. I have so much to say!

As usual, I can identify with both sides. I love to organize and label. But my house really isn't nearly as organized as Lisa Fine's house. I try to keep my sanity and know where things are. I try to create a place for everything, but the worst thing is that I can't keep everything in it's place. :)

As far as Tori's life, I am not the cleanest person. I have dirty dishes on the counter and in the sink. You will probably find dirty socks on the floor. The bed isn't always made and there is dog hair in the corners. That's life.

Probably the first thing that I noticed about Lisa? Her comments about appearance and about society and "judging a book by it's cover." She said "Society Does Judge Books By Their Covers." Was probably a true statement. But the first thing I thought when viewing the "talk like a pirate" website and you tube videos? That Ol Chumbucket was an attractive man that had a certain charisma and charm. I immediately thought that Mad Sally was a lucky wife. But later on in the show, Lisa makes him shave his head and cut off his beard so that he will "look like everyone else" (her exact words) and she justifies it by telling John "This is the real world. We don't get to make the rules, we just have to play by the rules." That disturbed me. You raise your children by telling them that they have to play by the rules? Whose rules? Wow. Whatever happened to thinking for yourself? I felt terrible for John. She made him wear suit and TAN. She made him go to work as a "filer" when he clearly explained to Lisa that he worked a 9 to 5 job for years and that there was more satisfaction from doing something that he loved. She treated him as though he had never been a responsible adult and as though he had never had a job. He made the comment "John has been erased."

I also noticed that the first thing Lisa's daughter said to Tori (Mad Sally) was that she was pretty. Instantly I thought that was a suck-up technique, but Tori noticed it as "judging her by her appearance" which I guess was true. And then later Lisa's daughter got angry and said that Tori smelled and insisted that Tori wash all her clothes (those that she had brought with her.)

I thought it was also interesting how Tori scoffed at their typical "my daughter's a cheerleader" comment made in Lisa's letter. I can't imagine that when you introduce or describe your child, you describe her as a "cheerleader." She's a 13 year old girl. Wouldn't you say "She's a loving, smiling, intelligent daughter." or perhaps list her qualities, and not label her as a cheerleader? That poor little girl. It amazed me as she proceeded to completely break down when told she couldn't do cheerleading for a week, and when she cried and said "I will do my laundry, I will wear Pink, and I will cheer." and then again when she cried because she wasn't able to function without her Make-up. I am sorry, but as a 13 year old I was NOT allowed to wear makeup, and certainly not everyday. Not to mention crying over it? It seemed so insane to me!

And Tori hit it on the head when she said that Lisa was teaching her daughter to be perfect at all times, and that "perfect is unattainable." And how about her daughter's comment that she has to spend all the time "picking out the perfect outfit" each morning and that she has to be perfect, or "I might have no friends and be a loner like (Tori)" Wow. True friends don't care if you are perfect. And not all 13 year old's get that, but wouldn't you, as a mom, make it a priority to let your daughter know that being herself, even if she isn't perfect, is more important than being fake?

I also got a kick out of the Fine family's "proper way to fold clothes" and Mad Sally's comment "Why would you spend all that time folding clothes that you aren't even keeping?" Um. Yeah. And their answer "That's just how it's done."

I really was very turned-off by Lisa's husband. He made CONSTANT rude comments to Tori. "Sally Constantly Questions Me." He found it annoying to be challenged or questioned. Wow. (we all know a woman shouldn't have her own thoughts or ideas.) He also said (about Sally's Rules) "That's really intelligent (sarcastically.)" and "You are ridiculous." Then later "A pirate as a role model is ridiculous." And then Lisa's daughter saying "Pirates have mental issues." LOL.

Over at the pirate ship, I thought that the family was actually fairly reasonable. Of course they could use some organization. Like so Max knows where his pajamas are. The kids could use some rules. The fleas could go. But those things aren't the end of the world. I love that their kids are encouraged to be creative and themselves. I love that they don't put labels on everything (I mean figuratively, although I guess in this case it applies literally too!) The feminist in me was a little disturbed when Lisa told the daughter "How are you going to take care of a family" as though her entire existence and growing up was only to culture her to be a wife and mother. I also noticed that when discussing her own daughter earlier in the show, she said that she would "make someone a wonderful wife." ugh.

I really think that John and Sally are both very well versed people. My favorite part of the show? Just after she forced John to get his hair cut, shave off his beard, tan, wear a suit, and go to a "real job" -- Lisa was complaining about clutter and disorganization and dirt. John said "So Let's Deal with the Clutter! But stop trying to make me your husband. Stop trying to make us YOU! You are SO worried about appearances that you forget what's inside!" True. So so True.
I liked how the pirate kids made comments like "I am not fucking Suzy Homemaker" and "It feels so weird to be putting my life into categories (when organizing and sorting into totes)"

Sally was right when she said to Lisa "your kids are afraid to make a mess in the house because of you. They are trying to live up to your expectations." And I did enjoy it when she said that everything was rigid and that "the plastic exterior is all I saw." I did notice that Lisa's kids REALLY enjoyed building the pirate ship and doing the play. It was like they were laughing and being creative. It was great.

But at the end, after Lisa got home, I heard Craig say to the kids "Put those in alphabetical order" and I about died. LOL.

What a show. I know that they cut out full conversations to make it seem so dramatic and that some comments out of context can mean completely different things. But it was a great show.

So, did you watch it? What did you think?