You can't make this stuff up

I want to save this memory.
http://www.facebook.com/dazed81/posts/10151428180072732

Hot dog dream



Meagan ~ via blogger on my iPhone

No Sleep Till Brooklyn

This is one of the things that I have added to My Target Baby Registry. My brother-in-law apparently has his information all ready to take with him, in case he needed to evacuate his house, in case of fire/flood/emergency. Ever since I learned that over a year ago I have been itching to put all of our information in one place and now with a baby on the way, Evan and I are even more sure that we need to do this. I think this is the coolest tool to allow you to do that, and if anything ever happens to you, your family will know where to find all the information they need, and if you need to evacuate you can just take it with you. Everyone should have one, and now I am tempted to buy one for my parents and for my sister too.

Last night I had an awesome dream that I met the Beastie Boys. Well, technically only Mike D, which was bizarre because I always thought I would be more likely to run into Adrock. Well anyway, it was my sister and my parents and we were walking in Brooklyn (? LOL ?) And I walked up to a brownstone looking building and up these stairs to the front door (just like a scene out of Law and Order or NYPD) and knocked and Mike D lived there and he was like "HEY! Come on in!" and we hung out and his place was cool, kinda reminds me of PG's condo in Logan Square, but with a more "New York" outside look. Anyway, Mike was saying that there was this picnic, so we all went to the park, and ended up chatting and meeting cool people and eating chocolate cake (which I am sure is pulled from the Chocolate Cake that I ate at the jewelry open house before I got home last night!)

When I woke up I right away wondered why I had dreamed of the Beastie Boys when I had fell asleep to classical music... but I was so pleased. One of my best pregnancy dreams. Looks like I will have to be sure to put the Anthology (The Sounds of Science) Discs on the iPod, I think all I have on there now are Licensed to Ill and To The 5 Boroughs.

Nice Dream

I just had to write this down. I know that I had lots of dreams last night (Thank you new bed and pregnant hormones) but my last one before I woke up was just awesome. In my dream, my midwife did something amazing. At her home, she converted an old red barn into a home birthing room. A large room that was all open. Everything inside was whitewashed. There was a giant bed with a fluffy down comforter and everything was white and lavendar. There were rocking chairs that reclined and birthing balls, and everything was lavendar. It was like going to a spa to give birth. There were roses in a vase that made the whole room perfumed. There were hydrangeas and pillows and flower petals. Wow. There were high small windows around the room so that you could see the trees swaying outside. There was a gazebo outside for the nervous smoking husband and a birth tub in the center of the room that was like a child's swimming pool, with lots of room. It was warm and quiet and darkened. It was amazing.

Of course nowadays I suppose there are some regulations as to what a certified midwife could do without approval, but it was like home birth only perhaps better... because everything was there, including the midwife, and it was so comfortable and shabby chic and you just felt at home, or even better, at a spa.

White Tiger Dream

I had the wildest dream last night. Pun intended.

Evan and I were at home, except it was more like my mom's house. Capital One was pissed at me for not paying my credit card bill (in real life I don't even HAVE a Capital One Credit Card or anything) and they sent a white tiger to my house. I was sitting in the living room and a white tiger (think Sigfried and Roy) walked THROUGH the wall (like a magic ghost tiger) and right past me into my dining room. My dogs were freaked, so they were suddenly on the dining room table in kennels, barking and snarling at the tiger, who just calmly walked over and sniffed them. They wouldn't shut up, so the tiger bared his teeth once at them and they whined into the back of their kennels. I crawled over to the tiger and looked at it. How did I know that Capital One Sent the tiger? Easy. Duh. The Tiger had Capital One in Blue writing on his butt, just like a My Little Pony.

AND about that time I saw a white Capital One van drive around the front of the house, through the yard, past the picture window. This lady drove all the way around the house and stopped by the sliding patio door next to the dining room table. I was huddled under the table with the tiger. It was like neither one of us wanted to be found. I decided I would stay there and hide, just like we used to do when Jehovah's Witnesses used to come to our house. Then that damn capital one lady kept knocking and knocking, until she opened the door! OMG! This was just like that time the Jehovah's Witnesses walked all the way around our house and let themselves in the back patio door calling "hello?!" and my mom FLIPPED out at them and told them to get out and get off our property and to never ever come back again.

So anyway, she opens the door. She LOOKS like Madame Hooch from Harry Potter, the Quidditch Coach. My husband comes walking into the room (because he doesn't have the resolve to hide out as long as I do) and she says "I need you to sign this paper about your wife's addiction" (as in I am addicted to shopping and can't pay my credit card) and then she tells him that if he signs it, she can help us. She can get me help.

And then My husband grabs a pen and is about to sign and sNaP and I leap up from under the table and go all psycho wife. I rip the paper in half and I give her the evil "I will take your ass to the floor and I wish I had a shotgun" look and I said "Get the FUCK off my FUCKING property and don't ever come back here again. Don't call here, don't mail me anything. This is trespassing. Who do you think you are sending a white tiger into people's homes. He didn't even KNOCK and neither did YOU. There are animals here and a tiger has no business here. " and she says "He didn't hurt anyone, he is specially trained" and then I said "I DON'T FUCKING CARE. GET OUT!" and my husband just looks at me and then the tiger looked at me like WHOA and then I woke up. I was so pissed.

Everything.

This morning when I woke up, I could think of a BAZILLION things I would rather do today than go to work. A BAZILLION. With Turkey Day coming up, and my birthday, I really am glad that I will have this weekend, then just two more days of work, then 5 days off work. Ahhh. I love Thanksgiving.

So I have been slacking at telling you what's up. Went to Anya's Tupperware Party on Wednesday, and Ava CRAWLED! Right there in front of all of us! I kept setting her up on her knees, because she keeps getting so close to moving.... and Bobbi had all the good stuff that Ava wanted and she put it across the room, so that Ava would have to "go to it" and she did it! Anya was upstairs and we were Screaming for her to get downstairs to see Ava. Anya was so excited. It was awesome to be there for that.

Last night I had a pedicure. Which was awesome. And necessary. It was relaxing. And my toes needed a paint job. And they just seem SO far away lately. So it was a nice evening. I got OPI's new 25th Anniversary color "Who Makes Up These Names?" (bottle at left) on my toes and I eyeballed a neat sparkly deep red for Christmas time. Similar to "O'Hare and Nails Look Great" but more sparkly. Called "It's a Doozi, Says Suzy." (bottle at right.) Guess I will have to get a December pedicure. LOL.

I have been reading "The Thirteenth Tale" and it is a good book. I am enjoying it. Although I have to say that it's hard for any book to follow "New Moon" and "Twilight" By Stephanie Meyer. Edward Cullen just has my votes through and through. But Diane Setterfield is keeping my interest in this book, and it's a good one... it sorta puts me in mind of the drama that accompanies a V.C. Andrews book, but an A.D. book. Not one actually written by V.C. Andrews, not even close, but more of in a way of dramatic without being terribly graphic and cruel. It's good. I think it's supposed to be mysterious. I get that. But it's no DaVinci Code. I am just over 3/4 of the way through. For the way it's being pimped by bookstores, book clubs, and the like, it must have an awesome ending. So I am waiting. The book's website calls it "gothic" and I am sorta okay with that. But it doesn't seem nearly as dark as I think it's trying to be. Maybe that's because I am desensitized by books like VC Andrews (her OWN books) and historical fiction like the Linnet Bird and Memoirs of Helen of Troy. I was also shocked to see a pleasant review by Kate Mosse, the author of Labyrinth, which I also read recently. That book is dubbed "the female DaVinci Code" and while it was good, I wasn't DYING to read it or DYING to get through it. I just read it. I was pleased. It was over. I moved on. And this book kinda feels the same.

I did watch Grey's Anatomy last night, and it looks like they will be killing off George's dad in the interest of revealing Burke's "deep dark" secret. Interesting. I am most disappointed that Men in Trees isn't on this week, in favor of Barbara Walters. Ugh. Really. Is there EVEN a contest there? But next week, Men in Trees is after Grey's Anatomy, which I think is an AWESOME move, and I betcha that there will be LOTS more Men In Trees fans within a few weeks. I haven't watched the Tivo'd OC episode yet. I have to say that I am really sick of Ryan all upset over Marissa. I was so sick of Marissa on the show, I was glad to see her go. And really, if he loved her SO much he wouldn't have been breaking up with her over and over. Whatever.

In the real world, hmmm. Nothing is happening. Regular week. Regular day. Had an awesome scary and vivid dream last night. My friend Brandon (who now lives in the suburbs and is expecting a baby with his wife Ryane) was somehow in it. I haven't seen him much, but I did see him for about 10 minutes at the bar the night that Anya and I had just got out of the hot tub and the whole town was abuzz with the suicidal guy who was missing. I got a big hug from him but we didn't get to talk much. He looks good.

So anyway, in the dream, we were like "back" a few years, 5 or 6 maybe. I was at a party and ran into Brandon. I had been waiting for Angela to call (story of my life, Ha ha) and she didn't, so I told Brandon and he was like "let's go find her" and so we got into his Bronco (hence the 5-6 years ago) and started driving. I was calling her on her cell phone and no answer and I said "maybe she never left Chicago" (ala class reunion style Angela) and he said "I know where to find her."

Now you have to know, that Angela is a botanist and ecologist. She has always been the animal and wildlife lover, and has been an ecosystem cheerleader. If a rainforest is in danger... she knows about it, and she has a petition you can sign. She is fabulous, and one of my two very best friends in the whole world. Brandon, and Angela, and I have know each other our entire lives. So Brandon starts driving to all the conservation areas and wildlife preserves and parks that he can find. Then he takes off through a corn field and towards the canal. I am like "whoa. where are you going?" and he is like "I know where she is." and he starts to drive like his is going to drive ACROSS the aquaduct/viaduct and I am like NO FREAKIN WAY. and all holding on and yelling at him (I hate water. Hate hate hate. ) and then suddenly there is this drop off and below, there is flowing water that goes over what looks like a little dam of ice. The ice looks slushy, like you imagine it would with water running over it, and I am like "you are not. Stop right here." and he starts DRIVING ACROSS and Through the ice and open water. He's like "it's fine. I do it all the time. I have 4 wheel drive" and I am like "I don't like this. It's not a good idea. I don't want to DIE finding Angela." and so he keeps driving and the water gets deeper and the ice is slushier and I can feel the truck sinking a little each time. Then we get up on this "island" of ice. There is no running water over this ice. I finally feel safe. And there is a sign right in front of us that says something about not going any further (I can totally see the sign in my mind, white with red and black) And just when I am like "whew!" he guns it and goes past the sign.

And we start to sink. Fast. Into the ice and water. And I am like "We are Sinking!!" and he just looks at me and says "yeah, that sucks." and I am like GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY and I push open the sunroof (yeah, I know, in a Bronco?) and There is HUGE chunks of ice in the way and i am pushing them aside and the water is higher than the doors and over the windows and then over the roof. And I squeeze through the sunroof and I can feel the water and the suction pushing me DOWN and I am swimming and fighting and Pushing and trying to get to the surface and it seems like I am never going to get up and out of the ice and cold water and just when I think I am going to die, I feel the air.

Then I climb up on a block of ice and was safe, and looked down for Brandon and I could see him so I reached my hand down and grabbed his and started to pull and he got out too and we were standing on the big block of ice, a complete island with rushing cold water all around us and just FREEZING cold and wet and it was DARK and WINTER and our cell phones were gone and we STILL didn't know where Angela was and I was so upset and I just woke up in bed and it was dark and 6:30am and I padded to the bathroom to pee.

How's that for a vivid dream?

1. What is your nearest lake or river? (besides the one in my dream) Probably the Illinois River, although we are also about 45 minutes from the Mississippi. We are right between the two. Nearest REAL Lake? Lake Michigan.

2. Do you believe in heaven? Yes, because that's where dogs go. But I don't know about heaven for people, because how can it be heaven without all the people you love?

3. What's your lucky number? 17

4. Ever know anyone who appeared on a game show? Not that I know of. But I remember when I was a kid that my mom was in the audience of Donahue and that made me think she was famous!

5. Charades: good times or lame? I don't really like to play just charades, but I LOVE the game Cranium. It's like Win Lose or Draw meets Charades and there is Sculpting and drawing blindfolded and all kinds of good stuff. So If it's Cranium, where you have Charades but don't do JUST Charades I think Charades are cool.

Simon Says

Today was stress. Pure Stress. More Tasks to complete at work than there is physically even time to complete. It was incredibly frustrating. Short-staffed. It seemed like everyone had an issue that needed resolved, and we had implementation of so many projects that it was insane. My head and neck hurt just thinking about it. I wore a cute black and white houndstooth skirt that was pleated around the bottom. Black Tights, Black Mary Janes with Heels, and a Ribbed Black Turtleneck sweater. I did NOT want to get up this morning.

I had a FABULOUS Dream.

I wasn't married in the dream, and at a friend's house I met a guy who was a hairdresser. And he. Was HOT. And he. Wanted me. We cuddled on the couch watching movies. He wanted to do more than just my hair. His name? Simon. I know it. Cheesy and not hot at all, but he was so super hot. He worked in the city, and he wanted me to come by so he could do my hair, and I kinda acted like maybe, all the while my toes completely curling over the idea. SO I threw together my sexiest black dress and strappy heels and some sexy overnight gear (just in case, besides I mostly have sexy stuff), and drove to the city to surprise him.

I called and asked for an appointment with him and the receptionist didn't tell him my name, just asked him if he had time for another appointment that night. I could hear him tell her no, and that he had plans to get out of there, and she said that "Janet could take me" and so I made the appointment with janet. I knew what would happen when I got there. So when I walked in the door, Simon saw me, and just dropped his hands from the person he was working on. He was so thrilled to see me, I could tell by the look on his face.

He came out to the reception area and for some reason I was sitting on the floor. So this totally hot guy just walked right away from a client and sat down on the floor next to me and just touched me. Like because he wanted to. Because he had to. He asked what I was doing here and I said that I had an appointment with Janet. he said "No. You don't. I am doing your hair." and I was like, but, you have somewhere to be. And he said that he only wanted to be with me. How smooth is that. Dream guys. Ahhh.... So he just gave me this totally steamy and intense look and then- can you believe it, he kissed me, right there in front of everyone, and said he would be with me in just a minute, and got up and strode back to his client. Ohh. Hot. Our first ever kiss. A completely hot open mouthed kiss, in front of everyone. Hot. And he was so confident, like there wasn't even a question that he was supposed to kiss me.

So he finished up his client and I went back. As I sat down, I asked him if he wanted a minute to tell his friends (who he had plans with that evening) that he would be running late, and he said that the only person he was spending tonight with was me, and asked if I had plans. I remember being all tingly and warm and telling him no, and he said "it's settled then, we will go out to a nice dinner, just the two of us, and then you will spend the night at my place." Like there's no question. Like he has known me forever. Like it's totally natural for me to stay with him. And he never even questioned where I would sleep. I knew what he meant. Hot.

So he asked if I brought anything with me (like an overnight bag or whatever) and I said yes, and he looked like his interest was piqued, and so I said "I have a sexy black dress, and something else sexy to wear later" and the recognition in his eyes was unmistakeable. Hot. Oh My. God. This guy is so hot. I don't even have to TELL him anything. He gets it. he just GETS it. And he wants me. He's after me, and not the other way around. I was already gearing up to imagine our date....

And then. I woke up.

Damn it! Shit! Damn it all to Hell! So I am hoping that I can have an extension of that dream tonight. To wash my stress away of course. He's like the Edward Cullen of hairdressers.

Why Grandma, what big EARS you have!!

If Casual Friday means "wake up late, throw your hair in a ponytail, and don't wear make-up" then yeah, I have TOTALLY nailed it!

Well, actually I woke up EARLY, because it's Friday and I tend to work about 2 hours early on Friday so that I can get out by 5 or 6. But the term late is relative to the 45 minutes that I snoozed the alarm.

So I had some wicked cool dreams last night. In one of them I was windsurfing with someone's baby. And there were some mean waves! First let me tell you I am not the adventurous type- and I can't swim.... so the whole windsurfing thing... would NEVER happen. And the baby.... I don't know whose baby it was, I can't remember. But a little baby, like 4 months, wearing a hat and mittens and wrapped up in a blanket sitting on the passenger seat (yeah, I know that windsurfing thingys don't have a passenger seat, or a seat at all, but as I was windsurfing, I could look over and see the kid sitting in the passenger seat, so bear with me.) And anya was surfing near me and she didn't have Ava and I kept saying "oh, the baby's mittens are getting wet! I bet she's cold!" and Anya would be like "you should'a doubled them up, you know? Two pairs!" And I felt bad. The waves kept splashing in the baby's face and I felt badly. It was like whitewater rapids. And one time I remember thinking "this is the way to Seatonville on Route 6 from Princeton. We are totally surfing on this road! it's like a whitewater rapids on Route 6."

Yeah. And that was followed directly by another dream, which now I am drawing a blank of. Damn. It was a good one too.

You know what I hate? The way old people drive in parking lots. When I am walking either through the parking lot or on a sidewalk, they literally drive like .0002 MPH as though at any moment I might throw my body in front of their vehicle. What. The. Fuck. I spend more time waiting for old people to get their car out of my way than anything. I think that once you turn 60 there should be mandatory driving tests each year. And I think that they should take them through a parking lot. And when they start that "I can go slower than a snail" crap, the instructor should slap a rolled up magazine across the dash and say "What. The. Fuck. If you ran over a WORM at this speed you wouldn't hurt it! Get it in gear grandma!" and scare the driving back into them before it's too late. And if they fail, then Medicare can buy them one of those nice scooters or a hover about and they can drive .002 mph on the sidewalk. But have you ever noticed that if you give them a scooter they suddenly go all Rat Fink? They have the bloodshot eyes and the 8 ball shifter and they cruise through the grocery store and cut people off and poke at you with their cane? They round corners as if there is no such thing as a blind spot. Who knew that there are hemi's in those damn old-people scooters! But put them in a car and get this debilitating need to drive .0002 MPH. It's an epidemic people! (P.S. Thanks to dad for raising me in an environment where Big Daddy Ed Roth was a household name.)