Cookie Chaos (Who am I kidding, my life is always like this)

There's something that happens during cookie season, if you're a scout leader, a cookie coordinator for your troop, and even sometimes if you are a cookie mom with inventory on hand. You go a little crazy. And I don't mean the cookie sales crazy that you see as an innocent bystander. I mean the internal "I'm trying to keep it together while constantly tallying and subtracting and balancing bank deposits and inventory and cookie supply and demand information in my head." I've already gotten there, on day two of cookie sales, when usually I don't get there until a couple of weeks in. I am disturbed. My brain won't shut off. The house has long ago fallen apart, and I just need to clear my head.

Blogging, is the way to clear your head. I don't get to do it much anymore, but this morning, on Sunday, I decided I would just sit down and dump my brain, pour my heart out, and feel much lighter.

I realized that I needed my laptop, which was in the van, in the locked-up-like-a-fortress garage, and that I wasn't dressed. I tried to get dressed, which became a huge chore. My jeans are all dirty. Like so dirty I won't tell you how many times I have worn my favorite one pair of jeans without washing them. Nope. Won't say. Can't tell. So I gathered all the jeans up to wash a load, at which time I realized I needed to throw in the new boy scout uniform pants of M's. I use the term "new" lightly. I am trying to be money conscious (always) and so instead of dumping the ridiculously outrageous $24 on a pair of blue pants, I found a pair on ebay for $10. M doesn't like jeans and has been begging me to buy him uniform pants because they are more like khakis and less rigid. Sometimes jeans make him freak out with the rubbing on the skin and the rawness on the waist. So I found the $10 pair on ebay. Then they arrived. Then I saw that the seller did not disclose the poorly hemmed bottoms, and the fact that they were 4" shorter than any average. They were also really washworn and not nearly as new blue as the photo showed. I spent the morning watching M in the tub while I used the seam ripper to tear out the hems and then discovered that even if they are now long enough, they have been worn and faded enough to have two very white-ish horizontal lines across the legs where the hems were folded. Ugh. In the process of getting these pants ready for the wash I thought I would open A's new swimsuits. I never buy Justice clothes. They are too much for me and I usually have a great friend (two actually) who sell used Justice clothes at a price I can handle, and then I don't have to shop. But I saw an advertisement for a cute swimsuit that's right up A's alley, and I thought, I will get that as her "good swimsuit" for this spring. So I ended up ordering two suits and a rashguard that matches both. She has a used Justice suit that was a size 12 and it surprisingly fit her perfectly. It's the only justice suit she has, she normally wears a 6/7 in suits and I thought we might finally get into an 8 this summer. She's slim. But since the Justice suit I have is a 12, of course I ordered all size 12's from Jutice. They swam on her. We were both so sad. I wanted to return them and exchange then for an 8, but of course they are "online only items" and the return form is just a return form, not an exchange form. And I call Justice and they "don't process returns" but would be happy to make my life a living hell by placing a whole new order where, you know, I pay them again with my unlimited funds and then later on (you know like two months from now when they get through their "processing time" i can have my original money back. Good times. I may lost it just a bit and tell the woman on the phone that if she can't process a return I don't want their junk and I will just send it back. Yeah. This is because I am supposed to be blogging by now but I haven't even gotten dressed.

I package up the RETURN and take the load of jeans and boy scout pants down to wash. At which time I am interrupted by kids who want to talk about Spirit Week. Which starts tomorrow. Because on Friday when I picked them up from school, M gets into the van and says "I can't wait to see all the costumes you are going to sew this weekend for us" and I think he is confused because HALLOWEEN IS NINE MONTHS AWAY and I swear I thought I got a year before I have to do that again. Then a paper is thrust at me with excitement and I see that on top of the TWO cookie booths we are running this weekend, the birthday party, and the Girl Scout meeting to prepare for World Thinking Day, we now have Super Hero Day, Disney Day, Mismatch and Crazy Hair Day, School Spirit Day, and Blast to the past day. I digress. (That's the moral of the story, you see.)

So the kids get told that their mother is offering no assistance for Spirit Week. It's every big kid for themselves. Their outfits have to be decided and laid out the night before. Mom isn't sewing, buying, or crafting ANYTHING (hear me, ANY. THING.) for Spirit Week. That's not very nice of me, is it. Not very spirited. But I grew up when Spirit Week was in high school and the participants were self sufficient enough to figure it out with minimal help from parents. I want my kids to start this self-sufficiency early, like they are starting Spirit Week early. I explain to them that they can create their own super hero! Won't it be fun! and M starts literally crying, and telling me that his teacher told him he has to be a boughten super hero and that it has to be a real one not a made up one (which I absolutely know isn't true, but he takes things very literally and is always concerned that he will be in trouble) and so eventually the tears get calmed and today we are tearing the house apart (more) to find costume pieces. We have one spiderman glove and one spidey suit. The mask is missing but I declare that *not my problem* because It's not my job to keep track of masks and the only real reason there is one glove and a suit is because of my attempts to organize and keep things in labeled bins (which means those two important pieces were in the costume tote where they were supposed to be.)
A Plays along beautifully and creates her own superhero, Called "Anime" pronounced AnnaMae.... who is a Japanese Anime Artist who can draw things and snap her fingers so that those things come to life. She finds an Indian/beaded/silkish gown from the Goodwill Halloween Costume buying spree, puts her hair in pigtails and sticks pencils in them, and takes paper and colored pencils in hand. I'm so proud of her own creativity and my lack of involvement that I go right down and put on a t-shirt and my clean pair of unflattering black fleece pants, my sweater slippers, and slip outside to the Fort-Knox Garage to get my laptop from the van. In my haste to finally get home last night, and out of my clothes and into my bed, I didn't pull the van up far enough in the garage so the back hatch is too close to the door so I can't open it to get the laptop out of the back, but eventually I get the laptop into the house and onto the sticky and overcrowded dining room table.

I open it, I log on to blogger, and I am READY! M comes out and says "are you hungry mom? I will make you some cereal" (So sweet is he. Always my helper. He loves me, this I know.) I tell him, "sure buddy, I would love some rice chex!" and I thank him and sit down. And he says "Hey mom, we are out of milk." So I have him just make his own cereal and I will run up to Caseys in a few minutes and get more milk. (you know, I was JUST out in the van. Seriously. JUST.)

"Anime" comes out in full costume, and suddenly wearing the pink pair of glasses that she *lost at school* two months ago, that I cleaned her locker and her desk and crawled under part of the dirty bleachers in the gym and looked in the smelly lost and found box and begged the office to look out for and posted on the school facebook page. They are ON HER FACE as if they never left, and she is a nonchalant about it as though I didn't just go on a month-long rampage looking for them. I just look at her incredulously and say "where did you get those glasses" and she responds with "I don't know, I just found them somewhere." Yeah.

All of this, and I haven't written a word. Then E tears himself away from Planes Fire and Rescue long enough to have an argument with me about why he wants to watch more music videos on You Tube, and then to ask for a snack (he hasn't had breakfast, we don't have milk) and he announces that he will eat pretzels for breakfast and I say "fine. Eat whatever. I don't care." and start to write.

THIS, Is why I never get to write. This is my life.

I love my life, I truly do. I am surrounded with people who love me, even if they also sometimes drive me entirely insane. We are healthy. We have a warm place to sleep, even if it's a disaster.

The laptop is surrounded by dirty dishes, the paint for the Little Free Library I haven't gotten to paint yet, the Mod Podge and supplies leftover from the Pinewood Derby car two or three weeks ago, Three opened cereal containers getting stale, a role of paper towels, an IH tractor, an open container of pretzels with a missing lid, a letter that my recent PAP came back clear, The offending list of Spirit Week activities on yellow paper, A hanger, and a bowl of slowly rotting blood oranges that my kids HAD to have and then REFUSED to eat. I look on the floor and I see a page of Christmas Stickers, a piece of aluminum foil, a non-winning scratch lotto ticket, a ring from a milk jug, a foil peeled back top from a to go butter container, a sprig of grape stems with no grapes attached, and a green top from a squeeze applesauce container, one child slipper, and a ziploc bag of markers.... all within two feet of my person. Where do I start? Who can I hire? How would I pay them?

Maybe I just need to eat some Girl Scout Cookies?

AWOL

Sorry I have been a bit AWOL. It's become apparent that my daughter doesn't always teethe gracefully. She started with a low grade fever early Tuesday morning, and has progressed to the 101.3 level several times in the past three days. Tuesday afternoon I got called at work and had to go get her from daycare. Because I am so worried when she has the 101 fever, and feels like she is burning up, I can't even imagine her with 103 fever. Or even worse, something higher. Poor Beeb. Tylenol and Ibuprofen will bring the fever down and improve her spirits some, but it doesn't take away the teething pain, and therefore the Dr. doesn't want me to give it to her. Instead we are supposed to do lukewarm baths, but that's not possible while at daycare, nor is it especially feasible in the middle of the night when you have to work the next day. Ugh. Sunday night and last night were the worse. Yesterday she did get her 6 month shots, and around midnight woke up with a fever again. I did give her a dose of Motrin because of the shots and the teething combo, and she slept for a bit, but at 3am was up again until about 5am when she finally screamed herself into exhaustion. Not much I could do to soothe her, I would get her settled and cozy on my chest or my lap, and she would scream herself awake again in about 10 minutes. Poor Beeb. This morning I can feel that one bottom tooth is up further than it was before, but still under the gums. As much as I would like to avoid teeth for their nipple biting tendencies, I don't want to go through this constantly for the next two years, so I hope that this one just surfaces soon and we can have a break.

So mostly I have just been struggling to stay sane and stop from being exhausted. Carrie and Cara stopped over yesterday for a little visit, and it was so good to see them both. More Diapers arrived today... and my first wool and the wool wash and lanolin.

What frustrates me the most about having a child who is sick or not feeling well, is the varied responses that I get from my husband. He is such a good dad. And he really tries to help, but when the going get especially tough, he is still able to fall asleep while I am up with a screaming child, and then when I am up first thing in the morning and getting ready to go to work almost as if last night didn't happen, he is moaning and groaning and lying in bed or sleeping when I am walking out the door to work. This morning I said "What's wrong with this picture?" Argh. This is another reason that I am tired of working. I have to be the responsible party, and I am the one who calls off work and stays home with a sick child (which is fine) but I still have to be the one who gets up and goes off to work each day and loads up everything for daycare, and pumps breastmilk, and washes diapers. All things that are especially pleasant because I am doing them for my child, but especially unpleasant when faced with the added stress of a workweek and traveling and packing and unpacking, and not being able to spend that quality relaxed time with your child or in your home. I feel like my new life motto is "Something's gotta give" and no one but me can see it. I need a t-shirt and I will wear it everyday. Something's gotta give. I can't be expected to live my life this way AND enjoy myself, right? Whose idea was this, that women be the primary caregivers, the responsible ones, AND work? Honestly, I am feeling more and more every day like that was just a totally retarded idea.

Tired.

What's new with you folks? I really meant to blog over the weekend, but Evan has been sick since last Friday, and pretty out of it. He has had a sinus infection and horrible headaches and dizziness. So It's been a little bit crazy at home. Sunday and today were the worst for me. We really needed groceries about a month ago, but this weekend we were FINALLY all going to go together and get some. Then Evan got sick, and we put it off all weekend until on Sunday I just decided that I was going to take Ardyn and do it by myself. Of course she was also teething and when I left home it was her nap time. She slept a bit in the car on the way there but wasn't really thrilled with waking up when we got to Target. She seemed fine through about 50% of the store, but then started to get very vocal and fussy. So I ended up carrying her for a while and then we hightailed it out of there. I wanted to go to Aldi's right away but Ardyn screamed in the car and I planned on just forgetting the whole thing and just going home. But she was screaming so loud that I just parked in the Aldi's parking lot and got her out of her seat and fed her in the front seat of the SUV. Of course I had to move my seat all the way back to make room for her in between me and the steering wheel. Then I wanted to change her, but grocery stores don't have changing tables... and it was too cold to change her with a door open to the vehicle, so I changed her on the front seat which was NOT easy with the console in between.

Finally she calmed down and was okay, so we went into Aldi's. Of course we got through 1.5 aisles before she started squealing in protest again, and I ended up alternately carrying her and then once she was happier, putting her down again. She was fine in the checkout line but once I got to the part where I bagged my own groceries, she was frustrated because the groceries (and therefore me) were behind her back and she couldn't see me. I was talking to her but she was instantly bored, and then fussy again. Of course then I was holding her AND bagging groceries one handed when the cashier came over and offered to help and to her surprise I just begged her to hold the baby so I could get stuff in the bags the way I wanted it. Whew! Then in the car she started her screaming again (when teething she doesn't want to be put down. She becomes a real cuddle bug) and then finally fell asleep. She was so exhausted but wouldn't nap. It was almost 1:30 and she usually naps around 10 or 10:30 and she hadn't yet. She was SOOO Overtired. Then I realized that in my hurry to get her out of Target, I hadn't bought Evan's cold medicine, so I had to go to Wal-Mart on the way home and grab some. The very second we got into the store she started screaming again. It was horrible. I just grabbed his cold medicine and got the hell out of there.

By the time we got home she was screaming non-stop so I had to make Evan get out of bed and unload groceries for me while I fed her, changed her, and put her pajamas on. All of which she screamed through as if she had a broken bone or something. Man it was a bad bad scream. Once she was fed, changed, and had her pajamas on, she kinda let out a big sigh and looked at me like "So we are home now?" and then SMILED and was happy. An hour later she was eating again and I was lying down nursing her and I was SO exhausted. She had been up for a whole two hours during the night and I was exhausted because I had been up since 7am, drug her and myself all over, got groceries, and had a headache. Evan and I both fell asleep with Ardyn between us. Of course then the phone rang 5 times in that hour I was trying to nap... and I was so zonked out that I didn't even wake up until it was thundering and lightening and the dogs started barking. Then I was drooling on my pillow I was so exhausted. Ardyn was so tired she slept for another hour, even when I felt guilty and couldn't stay asleep.

Sunday night Evan went and got Lisa (Josh had her car!) and brought her over. We hung out, I did some laundry and we gave Ardyn a bath and put her to bed.... then sat around talking and crocheting until Josh came and got her. We completely avoided the superbowl, which was awesome. The only reason I really care about a superbowl is for all the good food and the commercials.

Today was THE day from hell. First the weather was crappy. I vowed that the next time the weather is crappy I am NOT hauling myself, Ardyn, and all of our belongings out in the weather. It's just not worth it. But, I did. I tried to wait a little bit longer so that all the snow would be cleared from the roads, and so that the sleet would switch to rain, as it was supposed to. But that also meant that I had to go out IN THE RAIN and march through all the snow to get to the vehicle and start it, and then shovel a path in the rain, and then haul all of our stuff (breastpump, purse, diaper bag, carseat) to the car, and then head off. When we got to daycare it was torrential downpouring (great) and I got Ardyn inside just before it really started to get crazy and was lightening and then pouring even harder. So I was running out to the car again and it started hailing. By the time I got to work, just like 3 minutes across town, there was about 2-3 inches of hail on the ground, about the size of peanut M&Ms. That sucked.

Of course the parking lot at work was a river, and the whole town was a serious mess with storm drains being frozen and standing water on all the streets and intersections. There was no dry spot to walk, and the water was over the top of my shoes. It was horrible. My socks and shoes were soaked, and the bottom couple of inches of my khakis too. When I got to work I just wanted to cry. WHY didn't I stay HOME! Of course then we had serious problems all day long and I was so busy that instead of my normal four pumping sessions, I only got in TWO of them, which also meant that I didn't even get two bottles of milk for the day, When Ardyn usually drinks 3-4. That sucked. That just made me want to walk right out the door. She is my number one priority. Some people might think this is a totally bizarre statement, but I would quit my job in two seconds and never look back if I though it interfered with being able to breastfeed my child. Seriously. It is that important to me. So by the time my day was over, I was ready to cry I was so pissed. And then I let myself think how I went through all of that, for the $8 a day that I am able to bring home. Its pretty bad when I make like $15 an hour and can only bring home $8 a day as profit. Anyone who says that healthcare and childcare are not issues in this country has never been a working mom who has to pay for both of those things.

We have also had the issue of diapers leaking at daycare. I can have Ardyn in the exact same diapers all evening, and all weekend long, and have never had a leak. But at daycare, it was getting terrible. Last week she was coming home from 6.5 hours at daycare with SEVEN wet diapers and two-three changes of clothes each day. That is a lot of laundry. I mostly use snap diapers because I prefer them to Aplix (velcro) for lots of reasons. They are less bulky, they have a nice size range, the leg and waist sizes adjust independently of each other, velcro gets pilly and can get fuzz and hair stuck in it, and it also sticks to everything in the wash. But for some reason, the snap diapers, the very same ones that I used at home, were leaking at daycare. I could change her every two hours at home and be just fine, but they were changing her every hour to 1.5 hours at daycare and she was still leaking. I swore that they weren't fastening the snaps correctly. They insist that they are as tight as they will go, and I really want to believe them because they are awesome people. But at the same time, we switched to only velcro diapers at daycare and she doesn't leak now. Well, this means that because I only have four velcro and she uses between 5-6 diapers a day, I needed to buy MORE diapers, even though I had PLENTY of them already. So now I am limping along with the four velcro diapers, and awaiting the 11 new velcro diapers that are arriving any day now. Basically 6 new diapers ran me $105 (with a 10% discount and free shipping) and 5 used diapers ran me about $50. That seems incredibly expensive, but if you figure using a $20 pack of diapers every week or so, that's $80 a month that is garbage and not reusable. With cloth you can use them month after month and child after child, and if you take good care of them and wash them properly, you can even sell them for about 50-80% their original retail value.

That said, I am planning on making my own diapers for Ardyn's next size, and also for newborn for our other children. The snap press and die set and my polyacetal industrial snaps arrived on Saturday. Today I got some misc PUL fabric for making Pocket diapers, and 3 yards of really cool outer fabric as well. And my poo pockets diaper patterns. Very exciting. This weekend we are going to the Quad Cities with my mom to shop for Sergers... and then I can get started. I made one of my diaper inserts with the sewing machine, and while it is possible, it's extra steps and they don't look as nice because they aren't as trim and straight. I am refraining from making any more until I have the serger.

This past week I was able to start using my new utility sink in the laundry room, and Evan and I hung the shelf down there that I wanted, and also my 5 Gallon bucket of Charlie's soap arrived. (yay!) Then I worked one whole night cleaning the sewing room (which hasn't been touched since around the time I got pregnant) and I got a dent in it. The problem with having it in the basement is that it just gets plain DIRTY down there, dusty and dirt falls from the ceiling and brick dust from the foundation. Ack. So I started down there. I organized two whole shelves and also cleaned a couple of big baskets of stuff that had kinda accumulated. Still have two tables to clean off and get organized. Ugh. Its a huge project but I want to be able to work down there instead of on the dining room table. As each day unfolds I become more and more restless about going off to work each day, making no money, and also getting nothing accomplished.

Well, now that it is almost 10pm, I have to get myself to bed, because I haven't been getting enough sleep and it makes me even MORE cranky.

speaking of cranky, the Aquatics Coordinator at the Bureau County Metro Center never called me back about infant water classes. Bah Humbug. Evan says that if that's the way they are, we need to just take her over to Peru. I would agree with that more if I wasn't working all day long and THEN driving her to Peru, but we will make it work.

Just need to finish this marathon of new John and Kate Plus 8 Episodes (I am an addict) and off to bed. Everyone have a great night.

Simon Says

Today was stress. Pure Stress. More Tasks to complete at work than there is physically even time to complete. It was incredibly frustrating. Short-staffed. It seemed like everyone had an issue that needed resolved, and we had implementation of so many projects that it was insane. My head and neck hurt just thinking about it. I wore a cute black and white houndstooth skirt that was pleated around the bottom. Black Tights, Black Mary Janes with Heels, and a Ribbed Black Turtleneck sweater. I did NOT want to get up this morning.

I had a FABULOUS Dream.

I wasn't married in the dream, and at a friend's house I met a guy who was a hairdresser. And he. Was HOT. And he. Wanted me. We cuddled on the couch watching movies. He wanted to do more than just my hair. His name? Simon. I know it. Cheesy and not hot at all, but he was so super hot. He worked in the city, and he wanted me to come by so he could do my hair, and I kinda acted like maybe, all the while my toes completely curling over the idea. SO I threw together my sexiest black dress and strappy heels and some sexy overnight gear (just in case, besides I mostly have sexy stuff), and drove to the city to surprise him.

I called and asked for an appointment with him and the receptionist didn't tell him my name, just asked him if he had time for another appointment that night. I could hear him tell her no, and that he had plans to get out of there, and she said that "Janet could take me" and so I made the appointment with janet. I knew what would happen when I got there. So when I walked in the door, Simon saw me, and just dropped his hands from the person he was working on. He was so thrilled to see me, I could tell by the look on his face.

He came out to the reception area and for some reason I was sitting on the floor. So this totally hot guy just walked right away from a client and sat down on the floor next to me and just touched me. Like because he wanted to. Because he had to. He asked what I was doing here and I said that I had an appointment with Janet. he said "No. You don't. I am doing your hair." and I was like, but, you have somewhere to be. And he said that he only wanted to be with me. How smooth is that. Dream guys. Ahhh.... So he just gave me this totally steamy and intense look and then- can you believe it, he kissed me, right there in front of everyone, and said he would be with me in just a minute, and got up and strode back to his client. Ohh. Hot. Our first ever kiss. A completely hot open mouthed kiss, in front of everyone. Hot. And he was so confident, like there wasn't even a question that he was supposed to kiss me.

So he finished up his client and I went back. As I sat down, I asked him if he wanted a minute to tell his friends (who he had plans with that evening) that he would be running late, and he said that the only person he was spending tonight with was me, and asked if I had plans. I remember being all tingly and warm and telling him no, and he said "it's settled then, we will go out to a nice dinner, just the two of us, and then you will spend the night at my place." Like there's no question. Like he has known me forever. Like it's totally natural for me to stay with him. And he never even questioned where I would sleep. I knew what he meant. Hot.

So he asked if I brought anything with me (like an overnight bag or whatever) and I said yes, and he looked like his interest was piqued, and so I said "I have a sexy black dress, and something else sexy to wear later" and the recognition in his eyes was unmistakeable. Hot. Oh My. God. This guy is so hot. I don't even have to TELL him anything. He gets it. he just GETS it. And he wants me. He's after me, and not the other way around. I was already gearing up to imagine our date....

And then. I woke up.

Damn it! Shit! Damn it all to Hell! So I am hoping that I can have an extension of that dream tonight. To wash my stress away of course. He's like the Edward Cullen of hairdressers.

I just bought alcohol, do I look 17?

Today was so freakin productive that I can barely stand.

Okay. Mild exxageration. But my BRAIN is tired.
Working on a Housewide presentation/launch project at work. That's nice. I personally love it because it incorporates many of my favorites, graphic design, web design, and posters/flyers/presentation boards.

Last night I got so much shit done at home I could hardly stand it. At 10pm I was falling asleep but I kept trucking till about 1am. An early night for me.

This morning I was doing final pick-ups before the cleaning people arrived, and trying to take care of insurance and receipts for all my recent visits to doctors/dentists... and also get things ready to take to work, I kept making a pile on the dining room table as I swept from room to room. I had an application for an increase to my disability insurance, a Girl's Night Out Catalog, 2 Bills to mail for home and 3 medical bills to pay. I also had the pink and green swap to package and mail, but first I still needed to iron the bird embroidered towel, and I had the black boots I sold on eBay to pack up also. A man bought them. Could my hot boots be going to a cross-dresser? Hmm. Interesting.

So I decided to skip packaging the boots and the pink and green swap until tonight, when I have more time, except today at work I was reminded that I have to have 3 dozen cookies baked for the upcoming thingy that I mentioned above. Plus I need to make Vodka Slushies for my sex toy party (husband calls it the cooter plug party) on Saturday, otherwise the great quantities of alcohol won't be frozen in time. And did I mention I need to plan the Thanksgiving Menu and make the invitation? Yeah. I have a few things on my mind. OH and my car goes into the shop on Wednesday (my dad=the shop) and I probably won't have it back until Sunday. New Tie Rods, new front Control Arm Bushings, and a new Blower Motor. Today I bought vodka and orange juice, 3 bottles of wine, stuff to bake 6 dozen cookies (some for tomorrow, some for my party), Chex Mix, a piece of black foam board and adhesive (presentation), and a blower motor for my car. Where oh WHERE does all the money go! I got carded to buy all the booze. Showed me ID. Then I got carded to buy the adhesive. I had to be 17. Now please, tell me this. If I am 21, and you just sold me alcohol, and saw my ID, is it really appropriate to turn around and ask me if I am 17? The lady was super nice, but it's like Hell-O? In the exact same transaction you just scanned in my alcohol, viewed my ID, and all that jazz, but you have to ask if I am 17? Yeah. Here's your sign.

What the Fuck is wrong with Yahoo Mail Beta today? As a paying customer and Beta Tester, I am frustrated BEYOND belief that my messages (which I can see the senders and titles of) won't load completely so that I can read them. I have all these new photos from Adam of our 10 year reunion, and I can't see them, and ditto for bunches of other cool emails. And this has been going on for at least 7.5 hours, so it's like RESOLVE it already!! I can't load an RSS Feed and whenever I try to move or delete a message I get an error message. Some email messages that I was able to read or respond to this morning keep showing up in my inbox as unread, over and over, even if I did read them. And everytime I try to mark them as unread or delete them, I get the damn error messages.

You know what I hate? Classmates.com and Reunion.com and Names Database. What a bunch of crap. Here, sign up! It's FREE! Then everytime someone searches for you, we will show you their sex and age and where they live and then if you want to know who they are, you can pay us and we will tell you. Um. No. Nice try. How about you just do shit for free because you are a decent website who cares about people everywhere. Is there NOTHING for free anymore? Or how about you can see everyone in your class but you can't tell who their husband is or what their kids look like or where they work now... Unless you pay us... Mwaaaahahahaha! I get at least 1 email a day from one of those websites "Your old lover is looking for you!" Yeah well, I only have 1 old lover and chances are that he doesn't even own a computer, and if he did, it wouldn't take the internet to search for me because he knows right where to find me and I know right where to find him. That's the beauty of a small town.

And it's dark outside. And I have shit to do. So have a good night. Don't Miss CSI Miami!

Im all right jack keep your hands off of my stack.

Are Ya'll dead out there? I am picturing a bunch of zombies sitting at computers, their skin all rotting and hanging off, their fingers positioned on the mouse. And of course in the background, Thriller by Michael Jackson is playing, and the zombies are kinda jammin out while they read the blog.

Are you all Zombies? Am I that Boring?

Last night I went to a surprise Mary Kay Party. Why was it a surprise, you ask? Because while I was at work, my cell phone rang at 7:30 and it was my friends Anya and Jamie and it looks like everyone forgot about Jamie's Mary Kay party. So I left work, called husband from the parking lot, and said "put a piece of spaghetti pizza in the microwave for me" and then flew home. When I walked in the door he was standing there with the pizza and I was like "I have to pee" and flew to the bathroom, threw on jeans instead of my skirt, different shoes, and then brushed my teeth, and went to the living room where husband was sitting with remote in one hand and pizza in the other. Gave him a kiss and went up the street to Jamie's with pizza in hand.

I am allergic to Mary Kay foundation. I never used to be, about 12 years ago I had no issues with it, but about 3 years ago I bought some (kinda out of obligation to the consultant as she bought Pampered Chef from me) and I broke out so so so badly for an entire week I about died. As soon as I stopped wearing it, my face cleared up and healed. So I didn't put anything on my face last night. But I did buy their makeup brush set and the Satin Lips Mask and Balm Set. I already have the original (not the peach) Satin Hands set, someone bought it for me as a gift, although I can't remember who or when (bad bad Meagan!)

I want to try the timewise moisturizers. I currently use aveeno or almay, because they are all natural and don't make me break out. I have a dermatologist appointment on Friday (tomorrow) for my messed up skin (hormones!) and I will ask her there what she thinks of their products. I am afraid that there will be something similar in their formula as to what is in their foundation. I don't want to break out worse. But I did try some timewise on my arm and I was pleased. I don't like the daytime moisture because it smells bad (it's the sunscreen they tell me) but I wear moisturizer with sunscreen right now and it smells fine, very clean and natural. I hate moisturizers that have a smell, especially something floral, because they make me break out. So depending on what the dermatologist says, I am considering Getting the Timewise Moisturizer and the Timewise Night Solution to try.

I was a little upset at the party because I really just wanted blush. That was my goal. But when you buy the blush ($10!) you have to buy the compact to put it in, or you just have this loose little thing of blush with no lid. They were trying to promote their big compact to me, but it was like $62.50 and I am like "how am I gonna spend $62.50 on a compact just because I want blush?" and then after I had placed my order I saw in her basket of goodies that there was a SMALL COMPACT that costs $8 that you can put blush or eyeshadow in. And I was likewhy would they not tell me that? What the hell? So anyway, no blush for me. They could have totally made a sale but they screwed it up. And instead of giving me the prices of just the compact, they would give me the prices of the compact completely filled. And I was like ALL I WANT IS BLUSH! Well then they had this cool pink and black travel rollup bag, that EVERYONE coveted, and of course you can't GET it unless you spend like $200 in a special set of makeup or skin care, OR If you have a $200 party with 1 booking. Fuck that, right? So I get on eBay today, There's like 8 of them, all at $12-20. Yeah. So that's how I will be getting my travel rollup bag. Resourceful.

It's party fever up in here. Last month I got invited to a Tupperware Party and TWO Longaberger Parties. This month I got invited to a Tupperware Party, a Mary Kay Party, a Home and Garden Party, a Lingerie Party, AND I am hosting a Girls' Night Out Party that I have had planned for like 6 months. AND all of those parties occur between November 1st and November 16th. Now tell me, how does one purchase from all of those parties and still have money for Christmas presents.... and Husband and I each have birthdays in November, and are hosting Thanksgiving, so that's an expense also. Whew! It's just not right! I think I am going to have to decline the Home and Garden Party, and the Lingerie Party. I will attend Anya's Tupperware (I know what I want) and I already attended the Mary Kay.... so that will make things bearable. And my party should deliver free goodies to me... but what I have to worry about is buying food and drinks, plus it is Technology in Healthcare week next week so I have to make 3 dozen cookies.... PLUS I have bills to pay. Jeez! Luckily I bought all of husband's birthday presents early this year.... that should help since I have that out of the way. But I am feeling like my head is in a vice to try to stretch all the cash out to cover bills.... especially when we have TWO $85 license plate renewals due the end of November. Plus out house insurance policy just got renewed, PLUS I just mailed a check for car insurance. Does it EVER End? Good LORD that's alot of money!

So I can't wait for the weekend. First of all, I have to balance checkbooks again. And I have swaps to work on AND I have lots of picking up to do around home and lots of laundry. We think Boyd's Colon Polyp is back, and both dogs need their nails trimmed (we can't do Hadley's, it takes three people to hold him down.) So I need to see when amongst all these expenses we can schedule a vet appointment that we can actually PAY for. Someone needs to take down the halloween decorations. Someone needs to move the treadmill. Someone needs to get that damn table our of my kitchen. Someone needs to carry totes of decorations back to the attic. Someone needs to clean my closet and husband's too. Luckily someone has tomorrow off, but unfortunately someone also has a dermatologist appointment AND a dentist appointment to get a cleaning and xrays of the potentially impacted wisdom tooth. It's like I have "no plans" for the weekend, but I couldn't BE any more busier!

You might not hear much from me. So go visit my renter the Rock Bitch over at Clusterfook. She's worth a few looks!