Monday, February 04, 2008

Tired.

What's new with you folks? I really meant to blog over the weekend, but Evan has been sick since last Friday, and pretty out of it. He has had a sinus infection and horrible headaches and dizziness. So It's been a little bit crazy at home. Sunday and today were the worst for me. We really needed groceries about a month ago, but this weekend we were FINALLY all going to go together and get some. Then Evan got sick, and we put it off all weekend until on Sunday I just decided that I was going to take Ardyn and do it by myself. Of course she was also teething and when I left home it was her nap time. She slept a bit in the car on the way there but wasn't really thrilled with waking up when we got to Target. She seemed fine through about 50% of the store, but then started to get very vocal and fussy. So I ended up carrying her for a while and then we hightailed it out of there. I wanted to go to Aldi's right away but Ardyn screamed in the car and I planned on just forgetting the whole thing and just going home. But she was screaming so loud that I just parked in the Aldi's parking lot and got her out of her seat and fed her in the front seat of the SUV. Of course I had to move my seat all the way back to make room for her in between me and the steering wheel. Then I wanted to change her, but grocery stores don't have changing tables... and it was too cold to change her with a door open to the vehicle, so I changed her on the front seat which was NOT easy with the console in between.

Finally she calmed down and was okay, so we went into Aldi's. Of course we got through 1.5 aisles before she started squealing in protest again, and I ended up alternately carrying her and then once she was happier, putting her down again. She was fine in the checkout line but once I got to the part where I bagged my own groceries, she was frustrated because the groceries (and therefore me) were behind her back and she couldn't see me. I was talking to her but she was instantly bored, and then fussy again. Of course then I was holding her AND bagging groceries one handed when the cashier came over and offered to help and to her surprise I just begged her to hold the baby so I could get stuff in the bags the way I wanted it. Whew! Then in the car she started her screaming again (when teething she doesn't want to be put down. She becomes a real cuddle bug) and then finally fell asleep. She was so exhausted but wouldn't nap. It was almost 1:30 and she usually naps around 10 or 10:30 and she hadn't yet. She was SOOO Overtired. Then I realized that in my hurry to get her out of Target, I hadn't bought Evan's cold medicine, so I had to go to Wal-Mart on the way home and grab some. The very second we got into the store she started screaming again. It was horrible. I just grabbed his cold medicine and got the hell out of there.

By the time we got home she was screaming non-stop so I had to make Evan get out of bed and unload groceries for me while I fed her, changed her, and put her pajamas on. All of which she screamed through as if she had a broken bone or something. Man it was a bad bad scream. Once she was fed, changed, and had her pajamas on, she kinda let out a big sigh and looked at me like "So we are home now?" and then SMILED and was happy. An hour later she was eating again and I was lying down nursing her and I was SO exhausted. She had been up for a whole two hours during the night and I was exhausted because I had been up since 7am, drug her and myself all over, got groceries, and had a headache. Evan and I both fell asleep with Ardyn between us. Of course then the phone rang 5 times in that hour I was trying to nap... and I was so zonked out that I didn't even wake up until it was thundering and lightening and the dogs started barking. Then I was drooling on my pillow I was so exhausted. Ardyn was so tired she slept for another hour, even when I felt guilty and couldn't stay asleep.

Sunday night Evan went and got Lisa (Josh had her car!) and brought her over. We hung out, I did some laundry and we gave Ardyn a bath and put her to bed.... then sat around talking and crocheting until Josh came and got her. We completely avoided the superbowl, which was awesome. The only reason I really care about a superbowl is for all the good food and the commercials.

Today was THE day from hell. First the weather was crappy. I vowed that the next time the weather is crappy I am NOT hauling myself, Ardyn, and all of our belongings out in the weather. It's just not worth it. But, I did. I tried to wait a little bit longer so that all the snow would be cleared from the roads, and so that the sleet would switch to rain, as it was supposed to. But that also meant that I had to go out IN THE RAIN and march through all the snow to get to the vehicle and start it, and then shovel a path in the rain, and then haul all of our stuff (breastpump, purse, diaper bag, carseat) to the car, and then head off. When we got to daycare it was torrential downpouring (great) and I got Ardyn inside just before it really started to get crazy and was lightening and then pouring even harder. So I was running out to the car again and it started hailing. By the time I got to work, just like 3 minutes across town, there was about 2-3 inches of hail on the ground, about the size of peanut M&Ms. That sucked.

Of course the parking lot at work was a river, and the whole town was a serious mess with storm drains being frozen and standing water on all the streets and intersections. There was no dry spot to walk, and the water was over the top of my shoes. It was horrible. My socks and shoes were soaked, and the bottom couple of inches of my khakis too. When I got to work I just wanted to cry. WHY didn't I stay HOME! Of course then we had serious problems all day long and I was so busy that instead of my normal four pumping sessions, I only got in TWO of them, which also meant that I didn't even get two bottles of milk for the day, When Ardyn usually drinks 3-4. That sucked. That just made me want to walk right out the door. She is my number one priority. Some people might think this is a totally bizarre statement, but I would quit my job in two seconds and never look back if I though it interfered with being able to breastfeed my child. Seriously. It is that important to me. So by the time my day was over, I was ready to cry I was so pissed. And then I let myself think how I went through all of that, for the $8 a day that I am able to bring home. Its pretty bad when I make like $15 an hour and can only bring home $8 a day as profit. Anyone who says that healthcare and childcare are not issues in this country has never been a working mom who has to pay for both of those things.

We have also had the issue of diapers leaking at daycare. I can have Ardyn in the exact same diapers all evening, and all weekend long, and have never had a leak. But at daycare, it was getting terrible. Last week she was coming home from 6.5 hours at daycare with SEVEN wet diapers and two-three changes of clothes each day. That is a lot of laundry. I mostly use snap diapers because I prefer them to Aplix (velcro) for lots of reasons. They are less bulky, they have a nice size range, the leg and waist sizes adjust independently of each other, velcro gets pilly and can get fuzz and hair stuck in it, and it also sticks to everything in the wash. But for some reason, the snap diapers, the very same ones that I used at home, were leaking at daycare. I could change her every two hours at home and be just fine, but they were changing her every hour to 1.5 hours at daycare and she was still leaking. I swore that they weren't fastening the snaps correctly. They insist that they are as tight as they will go, and I really want to believe them because they are awesome people. But at the same time, we switched to only velcro diapers at daycare and she doesn't leak now. Well, this means that because I only have four velcro and she uses between 5-6 diapers a day, I needed to buy MORE diapers, even though I had PLENTY of them already. So now I am limping along with the four velcro diapers, and awaiting the 11 new velcro diapers that are arriving any day now. Basically 6 new diapers ran me $105 (with a 10% discount and free shipping) and 5 used diapers ran me about $50. That seems incredibly expensive, but if you figure using a $20 pack of diapers every week or so, that's $80 a month that is garbage and not reusable. With cloth you can use them month after month and child after child, and if you take good care of them and wash them properly, you can even sell them for about 50-80% their original retail value.

That said, I am planning on making my own diapers for Ardyn's next size, and also for newborn for our other children. The snap press and die set and my polyacetal industrial snaps arrived on Saturday. Today I got some misc PUL fabric for making Pocket diapers, and 3 yards of really cool outer fabric as well. And my poo pockets diaper patterns. Very exciting. This weekend we are going to the Quad Cities with my mom to shop for Sergers... and then I can get started. I made one of my diaper inserts with the sewing machine, and while it is possible, it's extra steps and they don't look as nice because they aren't as trim and straight. I am refraining from making any more until I have the serger.

This past week I was able to start using my new utility sink in the laundry room, and Evan and I hung the shelf down there that I wanted, and also my 5 Gallon bucket of Charlie's soap arrived. (yay!) Then I worked one whole night cleaning the sewing room (which hasn't been touched since around the time I got pregnant) and I got a dent in it. The problem with having it in the basement is that it just gets plain DIRTY down there, dusty and dirt falls from the ceiling and brick dust from the foundation. Ack. So I started down there. I organized two whole shelves and also cleaned a couple of big baskets of stuff that had kinda accumulated. Still have two tables to clean off and get organized. Ugh. Its a huge project but I want to be able to work down there instead of on the dining room table. As each day unfolds I become more and more restless about going off to work each day, making no money, and also getting nothing accomplished.

Well, now that it is almost 10pm, I have to get myself to bed, because I haven't been getting enough sleep and it makes me even MORE cranky.

speaking of cranky, the Aquatics Coordinator at the Bureau County Metro Center never called me back about infant water classes. Bah Humbug. Evan says that if that's the way they are, we need to just take her over to Peru. I would agree with that more if I wasn't working all day long and THEN driving her to Peru, but we will make it work.

Just need to finish this marathon of new John and Kate Plus 8 Episodes (I am an addict) and off to bed. Everyone have a great night.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

About the swim lessons call Elaine Rusell or write care of Carl Pacunas.

Anonymous said...

Published too soon. Elaine is the temp director Carl is a board member.

dazed said...

Thanks anonymous! I **Believe** that I know who you are and I didn't know you were still visiting! Thanks!!!

Anonymous said...

Yep, you might know...indirectly. Funny, somehow I happened upon your blog one time when I was looking up local weather--when we got that thundersnow like what? 2 years ago? last year? Anyhoo that's how I ended up here. Neat to follow a local blog.

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