AWOL

Sorry I have been a bit AWOL. It's become apparent that my daughter doesn't always teethe gracefully. She started with a low grade fever early Tuesday morning, and has progressed to the 101.3 level several times in the past three days. Tuesday afternoon I got called at work and had to go get her from daycare. Because I am so worried when she has the 101 fever, and feels like she is burning up, I can't even imagine her with 103 fever. Or even worse, something higher. Poor Beeb. Tylenol and Ibuprofen will bring the fever down and improve her spirits some, but it doesn't take away the teething pain, and therefore the Dr. doesn't want me to give it to her. Instead we are supposed to do lukewarm baths, but that's not possible while at daycare, nor is it especially feasible in the middle of the night when you have to work the next day. Ugh. Sunday night and last night were the worse. Yesterday she did get her 6 month shots, and around midnight woke up with a fever again. I did give her a dose of Motrin because of the shots and the teething combo, and she slept for a bit, but at 3am was up again until about 5am when she finally screamed herself into exhaustion. Not much I could do to soothe her, I would get her settled and cozy on my chest or my lap, and she would scream herself awake again in about 10 minutes. Poor Beeb. This morning I can feel that one bottom tooth is up further than it was before, but still under the gums. As much as I would like to avoid teeth for their nipple biting tendencies, I don't want to go through this constantly for the next two years, so I hope that this one just surfaces soon and we can have a break.

So mostly I have just been struggling to stay sane and stop from being exhausted. Carrie and Cara stopped over yesterday for a little visit, and it was so good to see them both. More Diapers arrived today... and my first wool and the wool wash and lanolin.

What frustrates me the most about having a child who is sick or not feeling well, is the varied responses that I get from my husband. He is such a good dad. And he really tries to help, but when the going get especially tough, he is still able to fall asleep while I am up with a screaming child, and then when I am up first thing in the morning and getting ready to go to work almost as if last night didn't happen, he is moaning and groaning and lying in bed or sleeping when I am walking out the door to work. This morning I said "What's wrong with this picture?" Argh. This is another reason that I am tired of working. I have to be the responsible party, and I am the one who calls off work and stays home with a sick child (which is fine) but I still have to be the one who gets up and goes off to work each day and loads up everything for daycare, and pumps breastmilk, and washes diapers. All things that are especially pleasant because I am doing them for my child, but especially unpleasant when faced with the added stress of a workweek and traveling and packing and unpacking, and not being able to spend that quality relaxed time with your child or in your home. I feel like my new life motto is "Something's gotta give" and no one but me can see it. I need a t-shirt and I will wear it everyday. Something's gotta give. I can't be expected to live my life this way AND enjoy myself, right? Whose idea was this, that women be the primary caregivers, the responsible ones, AND work? Honestly, I am feeling more and more every day like that was just a totally retarded idea.

Ardyn's 5 Month Pics ~Taken by Mom!~

Monday. It's back. Today we got up LOTS early. So since we had to go elsewhere to take showers last night because our bathtub is clogged (and the bathroom sink is turned off because of the leak) I was already clean this morning and my straggly kinky bedhead went right back in a twist. I was ready to leave the house TWO HOURS before I have to be at work. I clipped Ardyn's nails, changed her onesie and socks and diaper again, did a load of laundry, picked up for the cleaning people, and decided to do a blog posting.

Last night Ardyn and I ran to Wal-Mart to buy some flannel and some microfiber towels (from the automotive section) so that I can sew some diaper inserts. I was pleased to again use my reusable bags at Wal-Mart.... and this time since I knew the cashier and have for years, she was praising me for using them, instead of the last cashier who was about 20 and wanted to kill me with the daggers being shot out by her eyeballs when she thought I wasn't looking. She doesn't know, however, that since I am now a mom, I have that "eyes in the back of my head thing" that I inherited from my mom. I washed everything (fabric and towels) last night, and hopefully tonight I can throw out my first prototype. Got some cool colors, greens, yellows, turquoises, and pinks.... and some baby blue and white also. Cool patterned flannels.... but I will show you with pics when I am done. Today the Loopy Do Inserts for the Knickernappies Disposanots arrived, and also the iPlay swim diaper that I bought from the mamma on Diaperswappers. Also got the shopping cart seat/cover.

Over the weekend we battled with teething again a bit, she was in good spirits on Saturday but was feverish that night and all day Sunday. She took two 3-hour naps on Saturday and then several short 45 minute naps on Sunday. Sunday she pretty much woke up fussy, drooled and chewed on everything, and was cranky. She had that low grade fever for the past 3-4 days, but Sunday it was a bit higher and it was affecting her more, so she did get a dose of Tylenol which finally brought it down and allowed her to feel better and sleep better. Even though her Tylenol had long since worn off by bedtime, she slept through the night. Poor Beeb.

Evan's mom and aunt visited on Saturday, and that afternoon Evan and I took some new pictures of Ardyn. Consider these her "5 month" pictures. I will add a few here- the rest are on Flickr. They turned out great, and it saved us about $140 at Sears. The hat was a gift from Evan's cousin Aaron and his wife Brenda for Christmas, she picked it up at a baby boutique and I loved it instantly. The teacup was a giant planter that I bought at Wal-Mart a while back (read:years) and the black fabric backdrop is just some fabric that Evan bought at Wal-Mart for me when I was on pregnant, on bed rest, and frantic that I hadn't bought any yet. We used the crib bars (side) as the backdrop and put the fabric over it and one the floor.

Today at noon I am getting my hair cut. Off. I told myself I wasn't going to do the "mom cut" thing but I am so tired of how long it takes to dry my long thick hair, and I usually just end up pulling it back, and I need a change. I don't keep my hair one way for long, and It has been long since before I got pregnant, I pretty much am ready for a change. I have my style all picked out and I am happy to be getting it done today so I can stop hemming and hawing over the decision and just have it be made. My hair grows so fast that it would be this long again in a year or so, If I wanted to grow it out again. I miss having big hair. I love to tease and spray and long straight hair just bores me after a while. So, chop chop!

Over the weekend I ordered my snap press, and the #20 Die, and some industrial Polyacetal snaps. I will add these to my mamma pads and eventually to my own cloth diapers. I also bought the poo pockets diaper patterns (The original, the side snapping, and the tiny poo pocket patterns), and hope to sew all my own diapers in the next size she wears. I also need to get my butt in gear and start making tiny poo pockets for the next baby we have. The good news is that I had an advertising agency from Chicago approach me, wanting to purchase the rights to use a photo that I took, for a large ad campaign for a Chicago bank. The picture goes to the bank this week, and they will choose which ad they want, and if they choose my picture, let's just say that I am using the money to buy a Serger for myself so that I can crank things out quickly and not do all this stitching, turning, and trimming with the Singer machine.