Ahhh.... Friday. How do I love thee. Let me count the ways!
Last night was okay. I ate pizza at work in the evening, and was home around 7:30pm. I sat down and started to tear apart the pirate costume that I bought on eBay. This is the second costume mind you. It was supposed to be adjustable to fit all plus sizes (me, I am on that line between XL and 1X) and when it came, it was super cute, but okay, it looked like a tent on me. The skirt was HUGE. It was easily twice as big around as it had to be. When you hold it up it looks like one of those "look how much weight I lost" commercials. So I tore out the side seams and cut it in half, and then removed the drawstring and put on elastic. I attempted to watch Grey's Anatomy while working on the skirt, I got all parked on the couch with my little sewing basket and then saw that it was **gasp!** a re-run!
SO I turned it off and fixed the skirt. Husband came home and I showed him, I put the skirt on under my pajamas and marched around being all pirate wench like. Then I got the brilliant idea to put on my pirate shoes, with my new legwarmers too. What an outfit that must have been! So I was traipsing around the house with my pirate Mary Janes and my legwarmers on, and my pirate skirt and my pajamas. Husband was making Taco-Roni, like Goulash but taco flavored. I said to husband "Do you think pirates wore legwarmers?" and he laughed. "No. probably not" he said. "Not even in the 80's?" I asked. He said "you look more like a stripper than a pirate." And I replied... "A Pirate Stripper. I like that!"
But he put the kabosh on all my fun when I stuck my plastic sword through the center of his beer bread on his plate, while he was eating. He was all pissy about how there were probably germs on that foreign plastic sword and I was like LIGHTEN UP! And he said "don't play in my food!" and I was all sad and dejected. I hate getting scolded for having a good time. A Pirate would have made him walk the plank for being all uptight and ruining the fun. At least he didn't take my sword away! So I took off the legwarmers, and the shoes, and the pirate skirt, and made popcorn. I was sitting cross-legged on the couch with a blanket over my legs, and eating popcorn, and Husband reached into the bowl and grabbed a handfull and I growled "DON'T PLAY IN MY FOOD." Damn husbands. He pretty much left me alone the rest of the night. I watched a Knight's Tale with Heath Ledger. How romantic. And How amazingly hot is Heath Ledger. The dirtier he is the better he looks. Why can't husband be all romantic? Of course what little of the movie he watched with me, he had to make gagging and revolting noises whenever they would kiss or he would send her a letter or flowers. Stupid men. Why is it that romance is so DEAD now? What happened to being nice to get into a woman's skirts?