Wednesday, October 04, 2006

No Reason Really, Just Thinking A Bit.

Wearing: a goofy outfit. Black broomstick crinkle skirt. Hot pink shirt with rhinestones. Pink and Black Converse.
Quote of the Day: Women Fly When Men Aren't Watching
Listening: Dixie Chicks "I will Not Apologize" MadTV Spoof Video

Women are strong. you know that? I like my quote of the day. It makes many things come to mind. The first being the way that women are in groups. Now I know what men see when Women get into groups. I do. (powdering their noses, gossip, high heels, complaining about men, catty behavior, group bathroom trips) But it's what they don't see that's amazing.

I felt some of it when Angela and I went to Utah and stayed with Carrie. It's the way girlfriends can seamlessly work together, give each other shit, burst into fits of giggles, hang out in their pajamas, not wear any makeup, and keep their hair in ponytails. It's the way they all know how to clear a table, wash the dishes, and wipe everything up. It's the way they know how to stop a baby from crying or how they can endlessly multi-task. It's the way they always seem to know what to do next, even if inside they are frustrated, angry, and depressed. It's the way they unselfishly move in to take care of one another, and of children, when the need arises. It's the way they convince each other that it's okay to do something for themselves, and they support each other through good times and bad, through arguments with men, husbands deployed in the military, newborn babies and everyday stress. It's the way that we can feel comfortable telling the right woman almost anything and knowing that they won't judge. They won't talk behind our back about it, they won't spread gossip and rumors, they won't say "this is what you should have done." They will say "that sucks" and "I'm sorry" and they have a similar story to share with you that proves you aren't alone and that you aren't the only one with those problems or feelings.

Women are amazing. For a long time, growing up, I got along with guys better than women. And then. I got married. And some things changed. I still get along with guys, but I am starting more and more to become friends with their wives. I started to see more and more how much we are all alike. It's amazing how we all live the same struggles. Something can come out of a husband's mouth and if there are two wives around, they BOTH have the comeback and they can BOTH laugh or roll their eyes knowingly without even saying a word. And it's empowering to think back over generations and generations of women- friends and family- who have been bonded the very same way. It brings tears to my eyes to think about it. I think about my mom and her friends, who put me in mind of the Ya-Ya's, although more sober. I think of my great grandma, and stories she used to tell about growing up, and how her sister-in-law Ruby was a great friend to her and always came from Florida for visits. I think of women in the 40's, in the roaring 20's. I see my grandmothers playing Bunco and smoking cigarettes and swing dancing. I think of them wearing aprons in their formica kitchens and wearing scarfs over their curlers and chasing the little toddlers that were our parents. They are us. And it happens over, and over, and over again.

I think back to witchcraft. I think of how women were burned at the stake because people didn't understand them. Because they did something amazing, or because they did nothing at all. Would I have burned at the stake? Certainly. Maybe for my opinionated loud mouth, or maybe for my uncanny memory, or perhaps for my witchy attraction to men (lol)

I think about women persecuted. Harassed at jobs, making less money than men, holding crumbling families together, overcoming great adversities. I think of women being beaten and raped. I think of women being kidnapped and murdered. I think of the good along with the bad.

I think of women being viewed as posessions, and as sexual objects. And then I think of the women who have learned to use that to their advantage, and to turn that around on men. I think of all the things that women do that men don't know about, don't understand, and will never ever be able to even comprehend. I think of laundry and dishes and children and yardwork. I think of women doing little things that seem so insignifigant until there's no one there to do them anymore. Do husbands think twice about Christmas cards sent and received? About picking out the perfect gifts for their families? How would Christmas feel if you never received a single Christmas card? If no one was ever overjoyed by the thoughtfullness of a gift? (It's only the "thought that counts" if you actually put some thought into it, you know?) It's like the air you breathe. Insignificant until it's not there. I think of the way that a good mother loves her daughter and passes down traditions and skills and love so that she can become a woman who will probably be even more amazing than her own mother. Why are we surprised that every generation of women gets better, has more responsibilities, and accomplishes more?

This month, in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I encourage every one of you to embrace the women in your life.

Ladies, reach out to your friends and families. Support each other and listen to each other. Share experiences and step in to help when times get too stressful. Remember how powerful we are in groups.

Men, don't wait until it's too late to tell us what we mean to you. Try to think of something that a woman does for you that you take for granted every single day, and thank her for it. Believe me, she doesn't even think that you notice, and by showing that you do (even if it is just for one day) it will make everything so much easier on her.

Dads, make sure that your actions show your daughter how a wife should be treated by a husband, so that she is able to recognize a bad relationship when she sees one. It is your responsibility to show your daughters how a man should treat the woman he loves.

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.

I've yet to be on a campus where most women weren't worrying about some aspect of combining marriage, children, and a career. I've yet to find one where many men were worrying about the same thing.



3 comments:

PCinAZ said...

Outstanding! You are so very right. Women are awesome! :)

workingmom said...

Well said!!

mon said...

Great post! We do rule! We have the best relationships!

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