Saturday, March 25, 2006

Grocery Shopping with Jimi Hendrix

Last night I went Grocery Shopping with Jimi Hendrix. Jack Johnson was there too, and the Beastie Boys. I am not sure what made me come up with this fabulous idea.

I hate shopping at Wal-mart. They have those god damn speakers that come down from the ceiling and blast you with crappy commercials and Jessica Simpson-ish pop tartlets. They have Wal-Mart TV playing 10 decibels louder than I play my own TV. I can't stand in an aisle and be bombarded by crap, surrounded by moms in sweatsuits with screaming kids that have their shoes on the wrong feet, their hair not brushed for three days, and a sticky red sucker all over their mouths to enhance their kool-aid moustache. It puts me in a bad mood.

So I wore my iPod in Walmart. I put the earbuds in, cranked it out, and danced around mouthing (and occasionally singing out loud) the lyrics to things that you will never find on Wal-mart TV. I saw some old folks looking at me like I was a bizarre person- not to teen punk they imagined seeing in public in earphones. I saw DROVES of husbands looking at me longingly- not because they wanted ME (I think at least) but because they longed for my "escape" and my ability to block out the mart. One particular husband looked incredibly forlorn as he pushed the cart and guarded his wife's purse while I danced towards the toilet paper and squeezed tomatoes to the beat.

I only took them off when I checked out, and then they went right back into my ears as I passed the greeter, and unlocked my car to put away groceries.

I will never grocery shop without my iPod again.

Please pray for me as I embark upon a full weekend of cleaning, organizing, laundry, and dishes.
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3 comments:

*** said...

Now that sounds like something I would do. I sing along to my iPod in my car all the time. My thought is, screw it, I'm going to sing along to all my favorite tunes whenever I frickin' feel like it. And you know, that traffic is a bitch, so I really need that iPod musical release.

Matt™ said...

That is the best idea EVER !
I will be doing that from now on, I always walk to the grocery store with my ipod on, but not while shopping, but I don't know what impulse tells me to take them off once I'm inside, I just do. It's my own chosen musical experience while shopping from now on !

Unknown said...

I get so sick of them cramming their Wal-Mart TV crap down my throat. And sometimes I don't WANT people to talk to me.

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