Dear Other Person Who Lives in My House and Touches My Computer,
Please stop downloading crap. I hate viruses. I have had the same laptop for two years and even with no antivirus protection I have never gotten a virus. In the same two years of sharing a desktop computer (WITH anti-virus and a firewall) with you I have had to reformat the hard drive unexpectedly due to a crash, and I have had to deal with numerous worms and other viruses. It's all about being smart and knowing what is a legitimate download and what is not, and scanning your files before transferring them from a friend.
It's frustrating. It makes me angry and exhausted. I do not want to work 8 hours a day on computers and come home to print off business expense and income detail for our tax appointment tomorrow and discover that the computer will not run properly, and my Quicken software will not work, because we have another virus that I know I did not acquire. I don't want to spend my night running virus scans, putting affected files in quarantine, searching online for replacement dll files, and reinstalling programs that the virus has wiped out or infected.
When the computer starts acting funny and the antivirus program starts throwing up erroneous errors even when I just reinstalled it, you say to me, in a tone that is struggling to sound 100% innocent, "ummm... maybe we have a virus?" When really you could just say (or maybe you could have said three days ago when you downloaded a virus, before it started running rampant on the network, corrupting our files, attacking our computer, and emailing itself to others) "please help, I think I downloaded another virus." Nice try looking innocent. I don't buy it. I see right through the innocent act.
There was a reason that a year ago I took away your administrator privledges on that machine. Please don't make me do it again. You have your own laptop. If you feel that you must download every program, freeware, file-sharing, bunch of crap that you run across or your friend downloads and gives to you via jump drive, please do it on your own machine and not on our desktop PC.
I do not feel like constantly worrying if I have all my pictures, financial information, etc. backed up constantly so that I am ready for the next virus that mysteriously appears on the machine.
I also refuse to teach you how to hack into other people's wireless networks and change their settings. I am not interested in your evil plots. This is why I "don't teach you anything" as you request of me, and why I don't share our network passwords with you or anyone else.
Frustrated and All-Powerful,
The Network Administrator