Thursday, February 02, 2006

Weapons Grade Plutonium Expert for the US Government

So in my dream last night, I was at Menards with my mom and dad, and we were sitting in some patio furniture testing it out. I was wearing shorts and I looked down and had this round circle about the size of a dime, cut into my skin, and there was like "flesh" poking through the hole and it looked alot like spam in a can, or dog food, perfectly round, like when you dump dog food out of the can and it retains the can shape. So I was like "Dad, look at this" and he was like hmmmm.... it looks like **something** (and I cant remember what he said but it was minor) and I was like well I think it looks a bit more serious.

So I walked out of Menards and into this like "mission control" place where I had to use my hand print for security clearance and when I got inside I realized that it was my office and There was this futon up against the wall, and I pulled it away from the wall and I saw that the frame had left a circle mark on the wall behind it the exact same size as the circle cutout on my leg and I was like "oh yeah" as I recalled having sex with a secret service guy on the futon and figured I must have cut my leg. (don't ask, I don't understand it myself)

And then I decided it was time to work since I had suddenly different clothes on, like a uniform. And Then I walked over to this complicated machine and looked out the window and saw that I was in a submarine and I was just at the surface and it was my job to put weapons grade plutonium into what looked like the control box for a bomb or something complicated and electrical. So I would push the button which started the clock, and open the black box and all the wires would be exposed and there was a countdown clock and I had 5 minutes with the cover open to insert the plutonium and the AA batteries. Which was tricky because things were still hazy, (like **this** is my job?) and The plutonium was little green, cylindrical glowing things like the one that jumps off Homer Simpson in the intro to the Simpsons, and they were the same size as the AA batteries so I couldn't tell which ones went in which slots and I didn't want to mix them up because it was important and I only had 5 minutes. And then it was hard to get the lid back on. But I did and I snapped the black box closed and back into the giant thing it went on and then pushed another button to lower it into the ocean.

So as I was doing all this, I started to realize that all I had on were gloves and it seemed strange that I would be handling plutonium with just these gloves and how could that be safe and I had just itched my nose and wasn't I like CONTAMINATED and THEN I realized that the mark on my leg was the same size as the plutonium cylinders and THAT is where I must have gotten the injury. So as soon as I realized it, my boyfriend (okay, it wasn't the secret service guy. It MIGHT have been Evan, but at this point my mind was racing about plutonium- I figure I must have been a whore because it was like suddenly a james bond feeling, and you know there has to be a bond girl having sex or the movie is just shot to hell) showed up and He said "we have to tell the president"

So we stole the secret service guy's car (outside the submarine) while he was ordering a hot dog from the hot dog stand (also outside the submarine) and we raced to the president's house (which wasn't really the white house) and when we got inside the president (Jack Nicholson) and his wife (Glenn Close) were eating on TV Trays (Do you see a Mars Attacks thing going on here?) and as I was trying to tell them that the government has people like me handling plutonium without the proper precautions, the Secret service guy who we stole the car from (and who I think I had sex with on the futon) came running in and tried to stop us and then I woke up.

Yeah. Eat some more Tacos.

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