Well, today was a doozy. Earlier this morning you may recall that I blogged about how crappy my morning was, and that I was frustrated at a person with whom I had interacted, but whom I didn’t name for protection of their privacy and of others involved. Well they apparently read my blog, and got upset, and decided to call me at work to tell me all about it.
The first stone that came hurling my way contained an accusation that I needed to get my facts straight.
The second stone said that my husband is a liar.
The third stone stated that I am taking advantage of someone very dear to me, for whom I have the utmost respect and I would do just about anything for. Not to mention that I owe much gratitude and appreciation to that person.
The third stone was followed by two smaller stones, we will call them 4 and 5. They were elaborations on stone number three, and they were clarification that stones 3 through 6 were going to be personal attacks at me and my family, which were none of the stone throwers business and had nothing to do with the situation.
Then there was that 6th stone that said my blogging the situation was immature, and stone number 7 was the throwers expert opinion that my help was not necessary, which in my mind also made it not appreciated. And therefore never to be offered again to the stone thrower.
So I sat around with these stones for a little while this afternoon…. I kept them on my desk at work and I thought about all the things I could attach to those stones and throw back. I thought about the ironies of some of the things that were said to me.
I thought about stone number 6, and realized that blogging must not be so immature, otherwise why would all these people be reading here, and connecting with me, and commenting, and getting to know each other. Why would the thrower of these stones be reading my blog if it were so immature? Do we not all have adventures in everyday life? Is it a crime to share them? Am I just to brutally honest?
I removed my earlier post.
It was very obvious to me that it had made the stone thrower angry enough to throw stones at me. I hadn’t set out to make that person feel badly about themselves. As a matter of fact, that post had little, perhaps absolutely nothing, to do with the stone thrower, and a whole lot to do with allowing me to vent some frustration and share with my friends something that caused me undue stress and frustration. After blogging about the situation, it had been lifted right off my shoulders. It enabled me to go about my daily routine and help out many computer users who were grateful and appreciative for everything I could do to help them. Had I not blogged about it, I would likely have remained frustrated and may have taken the frustration out on people who didn’t deserve it.
I decided that by removing my post, I was in a way altering history. My history. I was acting as though my being upset this morning didn’t even happen. It made me feel sad. After all, isn’t that what a blog is all about? Documenting life in all it’s ranges of emotion and taking the good with the bad? Being a real person? I can’t expect the stone thrower to understand that. They don't understand what we bloggers do. And I won’t expect them to understand. It doesn’t matter. I have saved the post. I can insert it into my history at any point in time, if I so desire. But really it served it’s purpose. It made my day go well and allowed me to go about my business without being frustrated.
So as my work day finished, I took those stones, and instead of throwing them back at the stone thrower, I dropped them.
I dropped them on the ground and I walked away.
I didn’t need them. By attempting to make my life miserable, the stone thrower succeeded in making me realize all the people who make my life so wonderful. It brought me closer to them when it was intended to tear me apart from them. My husband, who loves and appreciates me and who makes me smile even when things seem tough. My dogs with their big eyes and unconditional love. My family and my husband’s family, who are loving and supportive and help us through difficult times- even when you think there is no way that they could understand- they do. My friends who make life fun and share interests and laughter and even tears.
Dropping those stones was the best decision that I made all day. They became stepping stones if you will, to a better place. Dropping them instantly gave me a very calm, collected feeling and a very sad glimpse at the stone thrower, all alone in their glass house.
May this blog continue to allow me to drop stones and move forward with what is important in my life. I will not let one person's opinion stop me from doing things that I love.
For some reason this brought to mind the story that begins with god giving a man two boxes. God told the man to put his worries and sorrows and fears into one box and his joys and happiness into the other. When the man went back to the boxes, the box of worries was empty. When he asked God where the worries all went, God told him that he had taken care of them. This blog is a lot like a worry box. Once I am able to write it down, I can let it go. I can stop stressing about it and I can move forward with what is important. I can pay attention to all the things in the happy box and let the worries go. How immature is that?