Monday, January 30, 2006

Foot Fetish. Yeah Baby!

You know what I want? I want my way. All the time. Ask my husband.

Tonight I want a program. I want a program that I can install on my machine that will perfectly synchronize settings on my work and home PC's and also on my laptop. But only the settings that I choose. Example? Internet Favorites, Shortcuts, Link Buttons, Rememberized IE Passwords. That's all I want. Now my work security consultant might not appreciate that so much. But I hate when I am working on one machine and I am used to a link being right THERE and when I get home the links are all scrambled and fucked up and really my brain just doesn't have time to remember where I put the links on 3 different PC's. I just want them to be the same and I get REALLY sick of trying to make them the same. It's like bathing a pig. A job that will never end and that you really don't have the time or the desire to do.

You know what else I want? I want this zit on my face that is invisible to everyone except me to stop being excruciatingly painful and just SHOW UP already so I can get it over with.

AND today when I went to grab groceries, I went to the Wal-mart shoe aisle hoping that for the first time in this entire year they would get ONE pair of cute shoes in. AND you know what? They did. A pair of pink kitten heeled thong sandals.... metallic pink with clear lucite heels like strippers wear and clear jelly metallic pink thong straps and I saw them and I went Ohhhh.... and I had visions of the stripper pole that spencer's sells (sorry grandparents, stop reading now) and I was like THESE are cute... and as I put them on my feet and looked down, the HEELS started flashing and lighting up like those little kids shoes! Ahhh! I was horrified (I can't wear these, people will laugh at me because I am TWENTY SEVEN now!) and electrified (oh. my. god. these shoes are fucking HOT!) at the same time. And suddenly the lights in Wal-Mart went down and I looked in the mirror and I saw the hot clubbing me sans 65 pounds in cute jeans and my flashy shoes and a tank top and I went WOW! These sandals KICK ASS and I don't even care about the other white trash skinny crack whores with bruised and scraped knees (insert Courtney Love Image Here) that buy these shoes at the Wal-Mart and wear them to the beer gardens this summer. I MUST HAVE THESE! And now. I do. Look for a HNT Picture in the future of my flashy new thongs. LOL.

P.S. The photo above (left) depicts a more "stripper esque" pair of light up shoes. But I had to insert it just the same. The picture above (right) is my foot, on top of Evan's foot, on our wedding day amongst some barnacles on the beach. We had just gotten married, and those are my flowers next to us. So see, my feet Deserve cute shoes, do they not?

5 comments:

Kristen said...

That is such a sweet picture (the feet). My husband won't get 10 feet near mine. Last night he insisted he could smell them - from the other room. I beg to differ...

Christie said...

I love me some hooker shoes too!
And I too want everything, lol

jackson said...

I wanted a new chainsaw last night so you know what I went out and I bought it. I am the same way I want everything and I want it now. Oh yeah I love feet, major fetish for feet

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