My frustration level is pretty high. I have my reasons, not all of which I will share with you today.
I started to feel frustrated yesterday. Monday. Big surprise. I have a new stress ball at work, called the inside out ball, and I love it. I held onto it the whole day yesterday, stretching it, tossing it, turning it inside and outside over and over. People commented. I didn't care. It kept me from snapping.
I can feel the tension in my neck and back, it's killing me, and I wanted to get a massage to clear it up. I called the massage place and still today no return call.
Last night when I got home, to a house full of dishes, luandry, dog hair, and littered with my husband's abandoned pop cans and popsicle sticks, I had a note from my husband, that he was "out" and might see a movie with a friend. I am glad he left a note. But what I am not glad about, that he could leave home at 4:30pm to go hang out with a friend, but he couldn't takle the garbage out Sunday night, so I did it, he couldn't pick up the popsicle sticks, or put a clean bag in the garbage can, or fold the laundry or put clothes in a hamper. That's what frustrates me. And I got home from work at 8pm, by the time I ate supper it was almost 9pm, and I was exausted.
So I went to sleep and this morning when I got up, low and behold, MORE abandoned popsicle sticks, and pop cans, and dirty laundry on the floor.
And then I went to the basement.... laundry still not folded (like the laundry fairy would come in the night? WTF was I thinking?) and there is water on the floor of the laundry room because the overflowing gutters are packed full on that side of the house and need cleaned and repaired and have for MONTHS and husband hasn't touched them, just like the garage door that's broke, and the light in the bedroom that doesn't work.
And then I get out to my car, and I have a flat tire. And then I go to put air in the tire, and all I hear is **HISS** and so I know there is a leak. So I run home to call work and go get a new tire, and husband has locked me OUT of the house and I have to bang on the door to get in. Then I go change clothes and run to Geneseo to get a new tire.
$100 later, I arrive back at home to find him still sleeping (1pm) and the toilet in the bathroom all clogged up, which it was NOT when I left home.
I think my main train of thought today was "Go to work before I fucking kill you" and my afterthought was "and pick up your fucking messes!"
So. I have no PTO at work, yet I haven't taken a vacation since our wedding last August, so I am pretty cranky there too. My neck is killing me. My friend Anya is a Message Therapist and you can't even begin to imagine how many times I have thought of asking her for a massage. But I feel guilty asking.
So I just called Ariva Day Spa in the Peru Mall, and instantly scheduled an hour long massage for tonight after work. Ahhh.... Ariva. So So So Happy! I want to support local business in Princeton, but I haven't gotten a call back and I am stressed and I need relief sooner than later.
Hopefully, this will make me happier. Or at least a little less on edge. I would hate to go postal.