Saturday, July 15, 2006


Did I mention how freakin spectacular I am today? It's 12:20pm and I haven't brushed my teeth or my hair. I pulled a red cotton tank dress out of the laundry hamper (it was on the top of the pile, I totally just wore it on Thursday) and threw it on so I could let the dogs outside. No bra. No underwear. And really, I am comfortable. Really comfortable. I am so un-freaking-motivated it's comical. Yesterday I had lots of labs done, so they drew lots of blood, like 6 or 7 vials, and I hate needles and do terrible with blood loss, so after I finally ate after 17 hours of fasting, I was wiped. I laid around in bed all of last night, except for one adventurous trip outside.

Today when I woke up, it was hotter than hell (this was 11am) in the house because the AC kicks off (I have to reprogram that goddamn electronic thermostat.) and it was 85 in here. I padded out to the Thermostat and decided that I should FINALLY reprogram it (it's been this way since December when the remodeling finished) and then I sucessfully locked the damn thing so that it was set on 85 and wouldn't move. I was getting more pissed off every second as I tried to reset it, and it wouldn't reset, I could feel myself starting to sweat, which pissed me off even more. So I woke up my husband. He padded out and squinted at it. He couldn't get it fixed, so I got the brilliant idea to trip the breaker and cut the power, so that it had to reset itself. Mission Accomplished.

I do have the dishwasher running. I looked through about 10 catalogs. I am a catalog shopper. I need nothing. Yet I receive more catalogs than a 75 year old lady. Serious. So I did the obligatory Eddie Bauer, LL Bean, JC Penney, Lillian Vernon, HP, Office Depot, Domestications, etc. lookthrough while lying on the couch. Then I thought. "I should do something" so I ate the rest of the sliced turkey from the crisper, gave 1 piece to each dog, went pee, and I even flushed the toilet (how's that for ambition!) and now here I am. Cleaning people come back on Monday. Thank God. We are drowning in dog hair, and I can't do anything about it, since the vacuum is in the closet and I would have to open the door and get it out if I wanted to vacuum. Nah. Cleaning people come on Monday.

I have so much laundry to do. But I am waiting for the dishwasher to finish (good excuse, eh?) becuase if I run both at once, it costs more money because the hot water heater can't keep up, and the dishwasher has to heat the water itself. I don't really know if it costs more money, because the dishwasher is electric, and the hot water heater is gas, but I don't want to wrap my head around that anymore, so I just say "can't do it. conserving." and that allows me to look at catalogs, blog, and think very deeply about things like which lunchmeat to eat... instead of taking a much needed shower or doing luandry. And see, that will be my next decision.... do I shower and make myself presentable (complete with apron and Donna Reid Pearls?) or do I start laundry (it's the water thing again.) and really, I know that if I take a shower, I won't ever do the laundry. So I had better keep on wearing this fabulous dress and work on the laundry next.

Please don't ever visit me unannounced. You don't know what state you will find me in.

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1 comment:

Michelle said...

Hilarious! I have many a days like these!

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