Tuesday, July 11, 2006


I am: So Independent that it is exhausting, even to myself.

I want: To be able to fully relax, and tell some people, even some people that I love, to Fuck Off without hurting their feelings.

I have: a splitting headache gained from trying to maintain an even keel this week.

I wish: I could be completely alone for 48 hours. In quiet. In peace. With no work, no chores, and no bothers.

I hate: people who have no tolerance of varying beliefs, colors, religions, sexual orientations~ all of what make our world so diverse and special.

I miss: Carrie. And now her baby Kara, although I have never met her.

I hear: My own thoughts. Endlessly chattering and turning things over in my head.

I wonder: How many years I can continue to feel this stressed without having a heart attack or something.

I regret: Wanting to get out of school and get into the real world.

I am not: Going to let things that I cannot change push me over the edge.

I dance: whenever my iPod earbuds are inserted in my ears.

I sing: The words that I make up to popular songs.

I cry: When I can’t take the same old shit any longer, and I get so angry I can’t contain it anymore.

I am not always: patient. Almost never in fact.

I make with my hands: Anything I can convince myself to sit still long enough to do.

I write: A blog post each and every day, to help me process information and think things through… and to document my life… for a reason that is still unknown

I confuse: relaxation with failure

I need: Someone else who really understands me. And it’s still only me.

I should: Tell my husband how I feel more often. And this is both for the good and bad.

I start: To tell people that I will help them and then I regret it later.

I finish: Each day with resistance. I don’t want to go to sleep and I keep moving until I can’t fight it anymore.

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