Friday, June 30, 2006

Now I can die happy.....

Well, not really. But you know what I mean.


Beautifully Painted Toes and nice soft smooth feet to really show of my kitten heel flip flops....

Linen Closet is Organized and ALL the bedding and towels we own are clean, even the bedding ON the beds.... floors are vacuumed... office and scrapbook room is clean and organized... payday today, and it was an extra check in the month (there's usually 2 per month) and that means no insurance/retirement/etc. taken out.... so I made $160 more than usual..... Husband who loves me... Dogs who seem to be healthy (albeit hairy)...... and a holiday weekend with friends and family, especially people I haven't seen in a while, is about to begin. Life is good.

I heard everyone's doing it.....

Just so you know, until I met my husband, I had been to like Pizza Hut and Hardees and that's it. Well actually I had been a FEW places but not many. I grew up "sheltered" and lived on the farm, and we didn't roll in the cash, so we weren't big shoppers and big on going out to eat unless we ordered chicken from a local place or just got a Book-It so we could go to Pizza Hut. And we have never taken a family vacation, except for once in 2000 when I couldn't get off work, and my family went without me on their first vacation ever. So even though I have been to Canada to get married, I haven't been many places in the US. Until I was 18, I had only been to about 6 states. Now I have branched out more, but there are still so many places to see! This August I will add Utah to this list, but here's where I've been so far!



create your own personalized map of the USA
or check out ourCalifornia travel guide

My Taco can kick your Taco's Ass!

Lunch Today: Giant Ass Kicking Taco from 6&34 in Sheffield (leftover from Thursday Taco Night.)

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Welcome! Wanna Get Groceries?

I am in a great mood today. Holiday weekend, friend Erin coming to stay with us, cookouts EVERY SINGLE DAY! with friends..... it can't get any better than this, right?

Last night Evan and I did some organizing and cleaning. He cleaned out his closet, and I cleaned the scrapbook table and desk in the office.... it was getting scary. Evan washed the 4 insidedog beds. Then this morning I made up the spare bed for Erin with fresh sheets and blankets and vacuumed everywhere, since the dogs are so freaking hairy!

So all I have left to do around home is unload the dishwasher and wipe off the stove, and probably put some clean laundry away. Evan has some weed eating to do.

We had supper from 6&34 in Sheffield, Evan had a giant taco and I had a Grilled Chicken Salad. I love their Grilled Chicken Salad. It's one of the best salads around. Seriously. So today for lunch I have 1 big taco leftover from last night... that I will heat and eat. And today I get a pedicure! Yeah! I love Trish at Rita's. I feel like I have known her forever. She lives like two blocks from me in Wyanet and she is super nice and soooo cute. She does a great job with nails, and getting a pedicure with her is such a treat. I look forward to each one. She works at Rita's Rendezvous in Princeton, in the Clark House on Main Street. So a "long lunch" for me today, with a pedicure! Yippee!

Last night Kelly at Guys and Gals gave me my spray tan. It turned out good, except I have "splotches" where my skin has been peeling, and the tan didn't take. But that's only in places where no one else can see, so I am good to go! Ready for a weekend in the sun! Yeah!

Erin should be here tonight when I get off work, and I can't wait to see her, it's been like 5 years or something! I need to go get groceries, but I wonder if it would be rude for me to be like "welcome! It's so glad to see you! Wanna go with me to get groceries?" But today is payday, and I haven't had money OR time to go get them before tonight.... We will see.

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Eat This You Overpriced Cable Company Bastards!

The only problem I see with this? I get my internet through my cable company. So would it be wrong for me to buy my internet via the cable company and then use their own cable connection to get "cable TV" through another company? Confused yet? Read this!
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Thursday, June 29, 2006

A new Resolution....

If I worked for Microsoft, I would remove the option to set your screen resolution to 800 x 600.

As a web designer, that resolution pisses me off and makes me cranky. I have stopped designing websites to function within 800 x 600 and have just concentrated on 1024 and higher now.

my resolution is 1280 x 1024. Most people have theirs set to 1024 x 768. I can especially tell that by stats on three different websites. With a recent new site design, I struggled with making the site clean in 800 x 600 and with the prompting of others and the blessing of others, I have decided to never worry about 800 x 600 again, and just press forward with designs for 1024 x 768 and higher.

So all of you out there with 800 x 600, beware. There's a good chance you aren't viewing websites as they are "intended" by the designer. So before you complain that you have to "scroll" try changing your resolution.

I once had a "disclaimer" on the bottom of my personal website that said "This site best viewed with a 1024 x 768 screen resolution. Please click here for directions on how to change your screen resolution." and some jackass, whose opinion I didn't ask for, who is NOT a web designer, decided to say to me at the bar one night "that thing you have on your website, it's cheesy." and I was like "what thing?" and he said "the thing about resolution." And I just looked at him. And replied "that's why It's my website and not yours- oh and what is your web address by the way (referring to the fact that he doesn't design webpages and doesn't even HAVE one, so why the fuck is he telling me what to do with my personal site?! Especially when I never asked for his opinion.)

So now you know how I fell about you 800 x 600 folks out there. I am no longer going to lose any sleep over whether or not you can view my websites.

As if you cared....



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Pleasantville HNT

This makes me think of the movie pleasantville.... and of the CCR song "Looking Out My Back Door." I was actually singing that as I sat in my office, gazing out the window. I was wearing a towel, just out of the bubble bath, and looking outside after the rain. It was a nice relaxing moment- and I just felt like sharing.


Go visit O to see what HNT is about and view other participants. Other HNTers, please come join us at the Flickr HNT Group, where you can view and display your own HNT Pictures.

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Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Always wear a mask......

Okay, at the risk of scaring you all away, I HAVE to tell you about my dream.

Firstly, I went to high school (and grade school and junior high) at Manlius School District. When we were Juniors, in 1995, they voted to consolidate with several other small schools and form one district. It was wonderful, we were offered so many more classes and met so many new friends. So my Senior Year, we moved school buildings and not long after that, the High School building at Manlius was demolished, leaving only the elementary school and turning the junior high into the district offices. So this makes my dream all the stranger. Now, everyone on the internet (alumnis) will search and find this blog post and I will regret it, but oh well.

So in my dream, all I remember is that my best friends and classmates my entire life, AJK & CL(F)S, and I were going on a trip. This is "present day." But on our trip we were going to visit a guy from high school, who I would call a "friend" but not a good friend. We know him. We talked to him. We don't really keep in touch much, but we do know him. Which also made this bizarre. Well in real life he lives about an hour from here.... but in the dream, we were meeting him at his "workplace" which ended up being the Manlius Grade School. When we got there, I was like "the school?" and AJK & CL(F)S were like "yeah, he is the janitor, but it's now a nightclub/restraunt!" and I was like WHAT? The grade school is a nightclub? (imagine the strangeness.)

So he meets us at the door and we go inside. He is like "it's great that you are here, because it's alumni night" and we were like What? and he said "You know, a party for the Manlius alumni. Everyone's here." And the next thing I know, we are being led through the hallways, past the kindergarden, where the music room used to be, and down towards the cafeteria hallway (where my mom worked) and then they turned us to go UP the ramp towards the Junior High and High School (you have to have been in the building to be with me here.)

And when we got to the ramp, I realized that I had lost AJK & CL(F)S somewhere and that I was face to face with a group of people. They were all dressed like it was Mardi Gras. All the women were wearing masks and they were topless. Completely Topless. And they were handing out masks and beads and wands and temporary glittery tattoos. It was all very glittery and exotic, and it was mostly dark with bar lighting and decorations. It was just like Mardi Gras in there. And The next thing I know, I have no top on either, and I am like "WHOA what's going on" and the lady in the mask (who I have this nagging feeling was a teacher of mine) says "all the ladies have no tops, this is Mardi Gras!" and she places strands of sparkly beads around my neck, hands me a mask and a glittery wand. It's about then that I was thinking of turning around, when I realize that another, male teacher (Mr. Andresen!) is standing behind me in line, and If I turn around, he will see me topless. So on second thought I put on the mask so that hopefully no one recognizes me. I start to follow the groups of people heading for the high school gym. And someone mentions that "every Manlius Alumni" is there, when I realize that my DAD is a Manlius Alumni, and here I am with no top on. I have GOT to get out of here because my DAD will recognize me, topless, and that would be totally embarassing.

Then I woke up.

And I realized where PART of this came from. The class of 1996 was recently honored at a Manlius High School Alumni event... but there was no Manlius Class of 1996 because TECHNICALLY we graduated from bureau Valley as the first class of 1996. Where the Mardi Gras theme came from, I have no idea, but It reminded my vaguely of "eyes wide shut" where you knew people and were in disguise.... (another movie that I thought looked good, convinced my friends to see, and then they thought I was a total freak for even THINKING it would be good.)

Now the thing about my dad? Last night, before bed, I had just gotten out of the shower. I was lying in bed watching TV in my underwear and a towel on my head. No shirt. No bra. Windows were open but curtains in the bedroom were shut. I hear a guy's voice "Meagan?" and I thought it was Evan, so I sat up in bed and said "what" and he said "Come to the back door" and I was thinking "what is Evan doing OUTSIDE" and then I realized it was my DAD and then I realized that I was TOPLESS and then I realized that he was stopping by on his way home from work (2nd shift, it was midnight) and so I said "just a second" and pulled on a pajama chemise and ripped the towel off my head.

So apparently I was sub-consciously worried that my dad had seen me topless.
Strange- no?

And then one more time today, my friends JD and EF were emailing me and mentioning scandalous sex tapes on the internet, and my first response? "That's why I always wear a mask!"

Aha.... and it all works out for the best.

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Tuesday, June 27, 2006

The Chosen Few....

Today I was chosen by the Yahoo Mail Beta Team to write a testimonial for the new Yahoo Mail Beta, which I have been testing. My testimonial has been submitted and approved, along with this photo (cheesy photo? taken 1 year ago this past Sunday, and 20 pounds ago!) and I had to sign a release so that they could use me for advertising and post my photo, name, and testimonial online and in their advertisements. So all you yahoo users be on the lookout for my mug shot and testimonial. Hopefully I won't be on a billboard somewhere (LOL.)
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More Than Meets the Eye....


Bumblebee was always my favorite. If I look in the drawer of toys, I have the original Bumblebee transformer in there somewhere.... Check out more, and a sneak peek movie trailer.... Here. And check out the car that Bumblebee is, Here.

swEEt! I can not freaking wait!

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Things that Piss Me Off Today....

My skin.
Is Peeling.
And
It Won't Stop.

So my sunburn is long gone. I love the first day of peeling when you can look down your shirt while at work, and spend all day reaching your hand in there and peeling off skin in big sheets and I feel like a snake... but now it's been like a week of peeling and IT'S GETTING OLD. Because now it doesn't really peel off anymore, it's just like "ragged edges" that piss me off. I do the exfoliate thing in the shower and bath, and I do lotion and baby oil and body wash... and still I peel.

How's that for exciting!

I was just thinking of things that are pissing me off today. I think that today I like to make lists.

*Pantyhose (who invented them! I hate Them!)
*Zits
*Cancer
*People with Coffee Breath
*Pagers
*People who don't answer their pages
*Unexpectedly finding a hole in a piece of clothing
usually stratecically located to show my underwear or bra
*Unconsciously biting my own lip till it bleeds
*When there's two people in the car, you grab the gum out of your bag, and there's only one piece left.
*Ditto for cigarettes
*People who wear the same shoes everyday
*Light Switches. {The one on the wall over there keeps sneering at me}
*All 328 days since my last vacation
*The 62 Days until my next {albeit very short} vacation
*Needles, knives, swords, sharps.
*Wasps, Hornets, YellowJackets and other sting-y things.
*Loud exhausts and glasspacks on redneck trucks as they haul ass past my house before 9am
*Carpet. It doesn't fool me.

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Nothing

Can it be possible that I have NOTHING to blog about today? Hmmm.

I guess I can tell you about last night. Although it wasn't very exciting, it WAS very productive. I spent HOURS balancing the checking accounts and reconciling them with statements. Then I spent more HOURS paying bills. At first I had a mild heart attack because after balancing them and entering all the recent transactions into the computer, we had about $400 less than I thought we had. And I was like "Wha?? Wouldn't we be overdrawn?" and then after I rearranged all the monthly bills to make do (it was stressful and hard and I had to sacrifice all my spending money and our grocery money) I figured out that I had missed entering a recent $400 deposit. THANK GOD! So then it was like I had $400 all over again! Yeah! I was a bill paying Maniac. I paid off two entire credit cards this month. Husband is so proud!

So for lunch, today and on any typical day, I eat salad. Can you BELIEVE that? South Beach has done it's number on me. I used to HATE salad. Whenever husband said "want a salad" I was like NO. He would always try to convince me, but I have always felt that Salads just took up room that was meant for REAL food. Meat and potatoes! But now, I have eaten a salad for lunch almost every single day for 5 months. Unbelievable. I still can't fathom it, and I see it with my very eyes. But my salads go a little like this:
Lettuce (not that crappy iceberg shit. Field Greens or Italian Mix for me)
Tomatoes
Mushrooms. Lots of them.
Cottage Cheese.
Tuna Fish (yum!)
Hard Boiled Eggs
Sunflower Seeds
Oriental Noodles (love that crunch!)
Bacon Bits on occasion
Little packet of Buttermilk Ranch Dressing (the good kind, fat free and light have more carbs!)


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Monday, June 26, 2006

Kitchen Burnout

You know, I used to LOVE LOVE LOVE to cook. I used to make desserts and bake my own bread, and decorate cakes. I used to try new recipes every week, spend lots of time in the kitchen.

I loved to cook so much that I sold Pampered Chef for three years. And then. It happened. I got burnt out. I went to kitchen shows and I cooked for everyone. I made great dishes, light and fluffy desserts.... and eventually, I started to get tired of cooking at home. When I stopped selling Pampered Chef, it was because I was absolutely wiped. I had everything in the catalog, and two of most necessities. Two food choppers, two of each scraper, utensil, bamboo spoon. Two of several stones. Two tool-turn-abouts. Stoneware in different colors. Scrapers in different colors. Towels. Three Hot Pad/trivets. Napkins. Table Runners. Aprons and Tablecloths. Two Batter Bowls. Three Quick-Stir Pitchers. Cupboards in the basement with every shaped cake pan, muffin pan, bread tube, and all of the Simple Additions serving pieces with stands.

Suddenly, I couldn't take it anymore. I was so stressed out. I appreciated hostesses. I really did. But some of them thought they were "god's gift to me" and like I should bow down and kiss their feet for hosting a party. It got tiring. I wasn't really making good money. Whatever I made went right back into the business or I spent for more stuff for my kitchen. Pretty soon I wasn't even cooking at home anymore. I constantly was packing up my entire kitchen and going to shows. People said (and still do) that I was an awesome consultant. And I appreciate that. I ran a HUGE Message Board for Consultants on MSN, called WeLovePamperedChef2. I networked with consultants from all over North America, and occasionally stationed in other countries. I shared ideas and I loved loved loved it. I made so many dear dear friends.

I have a memory for prices, uses, and warranty information. How to clean the products. How to use the products, tips and tricks, kitchen hints. But I was overwhelmed. The business is supposed to work around your normal life. That's fine if you don't work full time. Or if you aren't trying to plan a wedding. But I was starting to spend every weekend away at parties. I was missing out on all kinds of family and friend functions. I started to sound like a broken record... "I'm sorry, I can't. I have a Pampered Chef Show that day."

Now, I am not trying to discourage ANYONE from home selling. If there is a Home Selling Business to get involved in, It's Pampered Chef. The rewards are compelling. I surpassed $15,000 in career sales, I surpassed $30,000 in career sales. I earned my silver whisk charm. I recruited 3 consultants. The hardest part was keeping those consultants active. It was like "two steps forward, three steps back." And It was exhausting to me. If I could sell any home product, it would be either stamping supplies, or Pampered Chef. I did earn a 2 night hotel stay. I earned THOUSANDS of dollars in free product. But I could never get to the next level and still work full-time, and I certainly was NOT making enough to live off. A couple hundred extra dollars a month for the most part, and the occasional big month (about twice a year) with $500 or $1000 in commission. But those months left me exhausted and frazzled. And I always needed to buy "more catalogs" or "more paperwork" or "new products to show." I was running out of space in my kitchen and in my schedule.

I was recently invited to a Tastefully Simple show. Because Pampered Chef was so similar, as we sell spices and mixes and beer bread, I had never gone to one. I enjoyed the party immensely.... but the thing I couldn't get over was the HUGE amount of relief that I felt when I saw that consultant up there talking and thought "THANK GOD THAT ISN'T ME anymore!"

So I have been "done" selling for about 5 months now. And I still haven't been able to get myself back in the kitchen! I hate it! I have so many awesome tools, and so many kick ass recipes! I have every spice in the world it seems, and I can't bring myself to touch them. I look back at how life was before Pampered Chef. I went home every night and made supper. Sometimes my husband and I would cook together, because we both love to cook. Now, we don't do that anymore. Husband makes something, or we pick something up somewhere. With South Beach, it's particularly hard to do any baking, because I am not supposed to eat baked goods or breads. But I really miss making meals and having parties. And just making a nice supper. But I still can't bring myself to get back to the kitchen.

I can't wait for this Hiatus to be over. And I can't help but blame Pampered Chef for my kitchen burnout. I hope that this goes away soon and that by the time I have kids, I enjoy cooking and spending time in the kitchen again.

Meagan, Former Future Director with The Pampered Chef
Suffering from Kitchen Burnout

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Plumbutt Chronicles

Well, I just bid on 8 more blogs. I just can NOT get any approvals, and I have to bid the same 300+ BE credits like three times a week. Denied. Denied. Denied.

On a happier note, I did get one bidder this week (no one likes me, waaahhh!) and without further Adeiu.... Please visit my new renter, the Plumbutt Chronicles. We all know that celebrities can suck, but this week he has taken that to a whole new level.... LOL. And I about had a heart attack when I saw on his blog over the weekend that Jim Carrey is dating Jenna McCarthy. OMG. I am apparently SO behind on my celebrity gossip! But they are both funny, so I guess it makes sense. I read Jenny's book Belly Laughs and I really loved it. I laughed out loud through the whole thing. And I do plan on reading her other books someday.

Good Morning Sunshine!

Well, I woke up late this morning, and discovered that I lost another pound over the weekend, despite my Saturday night indulgence in Fried Chicken along with my salad bar. Yum. So that is good news.

Then I checked my email and saw that I had 5 "rent my blog" denials. I must really suck. No one wants me. Ever. I have like over 300 credits stacked up, and each week, at least twice a week, I bid away all of my 300 credits and then get denied on every one. So I just keep accumulating credits. AND on top of that I had no comments on the 100 Flickr photos I uploaded on Sunday. AND on top of that I got an email that had my blog stats for the week, and the reading has cut in half. I could tell that some by the lack of comments. It's a shame what summertime does to the blogosphere. At least that's what I am going to blame it on.

So that's all I have right now.

But I am looking forward to this week, payday week, going to pay all the bills, get groceries since we are out, get a pedicure (it's been since forever!) and looking forward to a visit from My friend Erin who is coming to stay with us over the Holiday weekend. Looking Forward to a big party/cookout/fireworks at Jackson's house and a cookout/swim party we will have on Sunday. I am on the weekend "duties" at work, but that will only take about 15 minutes each day, and then I will be the only one in my department working on Monday, but I have Tuesday COMPLETELY off work next week, So I look forward to that! Yeah! Holiday! Yeah!

Gearing up.

Hoping to clean out our closets this week and get rid of old clothes, I can hardly keep my pants on now (how is that any different you guys ask?) well because NOW they are too big and they keep falling off, which is good. For the longest time I have just been wearing them a size too big, but I think they are getting a little too large now, so it's probably time for some new drawerz. But since I just got FOUR new pair of shoes I think I need to take it one step at a time!

I also hope to finish painting the sewing room this week... I meant to do it yesterday, but I didn't. Bad bad bad wifey. I did start a new book, The Linnet Bird.... which has so far been good. She begins by writing the story of her life from childhood, Much like The Memoirs of Helen of Troy- and by 12 years old she had already been sold by her stepfather into prostitution, turning 1-2 tricks every night after a 10 hour shift as a bookbinder... and she almost gets murdered by a John who has syphilis and is out to kill a whore in every city for revenge... and instead she kills HIM, and his people leave her for dead, cut up, hair shorn, and locked in a trunk thrown in the river.... So um yeah. Good book.

It seems that all the Historical Fiction/Memoir books I have been reading lately are filled with women who are abused but rise above it. Because back in the day, rape and beating of women, even of your own wife or underage girls, was a normal everyday thing. Arranged marraiges and men who force themselves on women.... babies born from those rapes and belonging to your brother-in-law were not uncommon... which makes me realize every day how good most of our lives are now. I can tell you that from this point forward, every time I face a hardship, I plan on thinking of Helen of Troy for inspiration and encouragement, because she went through more than any woman I've ever met and still kept a kick ass perspective on things, and was able to triumph and find love repeatedly. Being a mother to 10 children, all but one of who were brutally murdered at a young age through war or sacrifice.... and all of her siblings brutally murdered... and two of her three lovers murdered while fighting to keep her. Whoa.

Enough of that for now. Did I mention how much I love to read?
Meagan

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Sunday, June 25, 2006

Golf- Round 1

Well, today was a good day. I got up at 11:30 (ahhh) and did laundry, then I took a nice long bath and continued Reading The Memoirs of Helen of Troy... I am almost finished. Finally the Troyan (now Trojan) war is finished, and it's 10 years after the war.

This afternoon we went to Hidden Lake to Golf, but when we got there... golf outing. Damn! So we went to Indian Valley in Tiskilwa, and paid to golf 9 holes, which took us forever on account of my suckage. We accidentally met up with Evan's Aunt Patti and Uncle Sean, and they golfed the last 4 holes with us. I did really well at first, being as how I used my hybrid club for every shot between Teeing off with my driver and pitching onto the green and putting. But then I was convinced to use my irons, and I have discovered that I have a hateful relationship with any iron below the 7. Ugh. Towards the end I picked it up a little, finding a groove, but in the center... pure suckage. I can hit the ball almost every swing, but mostly it was either staying on the ground and going like 500 feet at a time, or sailing up and then slicing right. Damn. I only threw a club down once, and that was after 5 swings in the grass off the fairway, when I was getting pissed that it was like "I'm the only one playing and everyone else is watching and waiting for me to get back on the fairway, even though I am only 5 feet from it. Ick.

But all in all I survived. And I hope to go back to our regular course, where I know the holes a little better. I do love my clubs. I was afraid to hit the ground, like my clubs would get dirty and I would screw up the grass. Husband says "Don't be afraid to hit the ground, you need to get under the ball more" and then on the next swing I nailed the ground and he goes "You HIT the ground!" and I was like "I KNOW I HIT THE GROUND! YOU told me 'Don't worry about hitting the ground' and then when I do it, you yell at me!" Poor husband. trying to help. But you can only have so much help, and other times you just need practice. I lift my head, which apparently is a no-no.... but every time I don't lift my head I slice really bad. It's like I feel the need to LOOK where I am aiming. And of course I turn the club, lift my feet, yada yada yada.

We had a drink in the clubhouse and I had a snickers and a sprite. Pure goodness. Then we went to Indian Valled Inn in tiskilwa for some supper- I had some Kick ass fried chicken and salad bar. Wow was it good. Then we had 1 drink at Kelly's and we headed for home. I went to The Dawg House in Wyanet and had two drinks later.... which was nice because I ran into some friends. But 2 other friends I thought were going to meet me there, never showed up. Bummer.

So now I sit here in my underwear, ready to sleep, peeling the skin from my sunburn. Good fun. Everyone have a nice weekend!

EDIT: Notice how I took photos of my husband golfing. Also Notice How there are NO photos of me golfing.... Husband didn't even touch the camera once and he took no pictures of me. My first time golfing with my own clubs, with brand NEW clubs. The camera was 2 feet from him at all times and he never once felt inclined to photograph me. Not even just sitting in the golf cart or getting my clubs ready. Can you tell I am Royally Pissed Off a little bitter about that? Did I mention that I have not had my picture taken by my husband since August of 2005 on our Honeymoon? He didn't take one picture of me opening my Christmas Presents. He didn't take one picture of me opening my Birthday presents, or Valentine Presents, OR of me golfing or swimming.

In scrapbooks and in history, it's as though I do not exist. And, being a scrapbooker, this frustrates the HELL out of me. I have an "All about me" scrapbook that I have completed as a project, and I am supposed to fill it with pictures of me in 2006. Well, it's the end of JUNE and I have only had one snapshot taken of me AT ALL and it was by my mom at her birthday. My life goes on undocumented. I really appreciates that Ruben at Each Day Counts takes ADORABLE pictures of his wife Megan- all the time. How sweet is that? The best part is that he WANTS to take pictures of her! Without being asked or told! What am I supposed to do, walk up to my husband and say "take my fucking picture god damn it?!" Argh! Apparently nothing that I do, say, or wear is worthy of documenting forever.



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Saturday, June 24, 2006

14 hours later.....

Before We Begin, let me tell you of my recommended reading to start your Saturday...

Cingular Lowers Multimedia Pricing to Match Text Message Pricing- Buy the Plan!
http://gizmodo.com/gadgets/cellphones/cingular-makes-text-and-picture-messaging-equal-183050.php

Let the Good Lord Heal Your Wicked Wounds- Jesus Themed Band-Aids
http://gizmodo.com/gadgets/peripherals/jesus-saves-jesusthemed-adhesive-bandages-182961.php

Now, let me begin by telling you of my fabulous evening. I got home from work at 6:30, husband and mom (mine) were in our driveway. You see, we have a hornets nest in the bushes by the front door, so we are trying to avoid that area... so they were out back. Husband left "to play cards" and then mom left soon too. Anya brought Ava over so I could babysit. I had just changed clothes. Ava played with links and things while I ate my salad, or tried to... while the dog whined and barked at me. I thought, of course, that husband (having just been leaving, and having confined the dogs to the porch) had let them out before he intended on leaving. Apparently not. Because just as Ava commenced crying loudly and inconsolibly (hungry) Hadley began his 8 mile walking pee. Starting in the bathroom, he casually strolled through the bathroom, office, dining room, living room, and eventually bedroom... only to return to the bathroom again, leaving a fell stream of piss in his wake. I did not see this act until I tried to make my way to the kitchen to prepare a bottle, and stepped in piss the entire way.

So with screaming baby in tow, I curse the dog and make the damn bottle. Then I get the milk too warm, so stick the bottle in the freezer for a second... and then run it under cold water for a few more seconds, all the while surrounded by a river of dog pee and a screaming baby. I decided on a plan. A. Feed Baby B. Clean Up Pee C. Ban Dogs to outside for remainder of night.

Brilliant, eh? As ava is finishing her bottle, there is a grumble in her tummy, and a look on her face that gives me 1/8th of a seconds warning before her ENTIRE bottle comes Back up, all over me, the couch, the rug, the floor, and the poor little dear herself. She was so upset! I carried her dripping to the kitchen where I could have rang her out she was so soaked. (still dog pee on the floor) and commenced to strip her down and put her on the bed. then I banned the dogs to the porch. Ava cried. I got her happy again. Got out the paper towels and started wiping up the river of dog pee. Got ALMOST around the whole house... Ava crying again. Soothed Ava. Got out the Swiffer Mop. Mopped everywhere that was once a river of pee. Ava crying again. Took Ava to the kitchen sink and gave her a bath (which she really enjoyed) and I was very pleased with myself for keeping the Aussie baby wash/shampoo last year and not throwing it out when I cleaned the bathroom cupboard.

Dried Ava, she was thrilled with her bath... so happy... until she realized the bath was over. Ava cried more. took her outside. Swinging on the swing. 20 minutes later... Ava asleep. Called Anya, had her bring me spare clothes for Ava. Ava sleeping in basinnet in spare bedroom. Went outside to smoke a cigarette (ahhhh....) then let the dogs outside. Planned on putting dogs in kennel after their potty break. Ava crying again. Got the dogs in their kennel, got in the house.... Ava crying. took her outside to the swing. Attempted to soothe her for about 25 minutes. No avail. brought her back inside. Bundled her in a blanket and calmed her down FINALLY and she slept the rest of the evening.

Started Laundry. Unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher. Washed ava's spitty clothes. Changed my clothes, soaked down to my bra. Washed my clothes. Folded Towels, Hung Up clothes, Organized my closet, Wiped down kitchen counters. Rinsed Recyclables. Found 4 Trojan worms and 4 infected files on our PC. Read all my emails. Read all the blogs on my blogroll. Picked up our bedroom. Switched Laundry. Checked Email again. tried to backup my documents on the PC but they are almost 2 gig and too big for a fucking CD, even as a zip file. Need a DVD Drive. Too big for my 1 gig jump drive. I give up. Who cares. Write this blog post and go to sleep.

That's how 7 hours of my day goes AFTER 7 hours of work, at my job, where I was busy.

No wonder I can't keep my eyes open!

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Friday, June 23, 2006

Help Me Make Up for How Bad I suck....

Okay, I suck. I totally keep forgetting to pimp my renter. And It's not that I don't want to, I just keep going "I'll do that tomorrow" or "later today."

Well, the week is all up. So if you love me, Please go visit my renter Hot House Momma- RIGHT NOW ASAP and make it up to her. She will be happy to have your clicks, and for those of you who don't get the Rent my Blog thing, they count your views. So Go. Click. Read. Be Happy. Her blog is great. I swear. And you won't be sorry.

~*~pimpin~*~pimpin~*~pimpin~*~pimpin~*~pimpin~*~pimpin~*~pimpin~*~

Yahoo Mail Beta... Now with RSS Feeds!

Today I also decided to go back to Yahoo Mail beta. A few months ago, I got an email from Yahoo to be on their Beta Testing list. I am guessing because I use Yahoo and their services heavily, and I am a paying customer through Geocities (web hosting www.dazed81.com) and also through Yahoo Mail Plus, for extra features, storage space, no advertisements, and managing all of my email addresses in one inbox. It is totally worth the $19 a year that I pay to have all those features (with Yahoo Mail, hosting is not included in that price) and I have had it for over a year. So anyway. Months ago I checked out the Yahoo Mail Beta. I only used it for about 20 minutes and it annoyed the hell out of me. I wrote them my feedback about what annoyed me. I could see that they were making a (poor) attempt at mimicing Outlook and Outlook Express, with the task bar, preview pane, etc. I decided today to go back and see what they have done, since I have been utilizing Yahoo 360 and surprised with it's updates.... and I was pleased. I have officially converted to Yahoo Mail Beta. AND I have found a few new features that I would like to share.

Since I discovered RSS Feed Capabilities on Yahoo 360, I was very pleased to see the RSS Feed capabilities within Yahoo. Similar to the ability to see Yahoo/Reuters News, I have added RSS Feeds for Snopes, Smoking Gun, Gadget Blogs, and other things that I would like to see everyday. I also RSS fed my own blog (this is the RSS Feed Address, if you are interested http://dazed81.blogspot.com/atom.xml) and I was very pleased with the results.

Since I have been having such a hard time reading all the blogs in my blogroll, I considered RSS Feeding them like my news, into my Yahoo mail. Hmmm. Interesting. Not sure I can read all of that. It would be nice if the feed was up to date, and was showing today's posts only. It would also be nice if I could Expand and Collapse my Blog Feeds in Yahoo Mail, much like the infrastructure of Windows Explorer. But it just shows them all open.... and I haven't figured out that there is a way to expand and collapse so that you can read one, collapse it, and move onto the next. One that capability shows itself, I may have to consider adding RSS Feeds for the blogs I would like to read.

OMIGOD! I figured it out! Collapsing! Expanding! RSS Feeds listed by Name! YES! **insert orgasmic noise here** If I read your blog, you MUST RSS Feed me! You must!

Thoughts? Anyone still with me? LOL.

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Just a Good Ol' Boy.....

Shhhh... It's very very quiet here. But I can't tell you where I am! You can guess, but I still won't tell you if you are right.

So last night I did a silly ass thing. I went to get some grub, at 6&34 in Sheffield. I got in the parking lot, and went to get out of my car, and realized that I didn't bring my moneys! Yikes! And I was almost out of gas. Duh. So I went home again. Husband went and got chinese.

Then I painted a few things, wooden boxes to be exact, and then I started to read my Helen of Troy Book again. The damn Troyan war has been going on for 10 years now in this book! Jeez! Who knew? I did some Journaling in my "About Me" scrapbook. Then at like 11:30 Anya called me and I chatted with her for a LONG time, and then I read a bit more and went to sleep. Pretty normal evening.

I am looking forward to the weekend! Tonight I will babysit Ava for a while, and the rest of the weekend is FREE! I plan on finishing painting the sewing room and starting to put everything back together as it is all unarranged, shelves pulled away from the walls, sewing machine and tables moved all about... etc. I also hope to finish cleaning up the office and scrapbook room, and make a retirement card for a co-worker.

Hopefully we can slide in some swimming and some golfing, so I can try out my new golf clubs this weekend.

Have you seen all the new updates to Yahoo 360 yet? Whoa! I was working on my page. I discovered that I can tie my Flickr Photostream to my yahoo profile and my 360 page, as well as my Blogger account through my RSS Feed, so that my recent blog posts and Flickr photos show up on my Yahoo 360 page. Then I made the mistake of Searching for other Meagan Johnson's on Yahoo 360. WHOA. Check out Oregon Babe- she shows pictures of her in her wedding dress in her profile, **cough cough** and her "blast" says "I'm seperated and getting a divorce." Ummm- okay. And most of the groups she belongs to are about coping with divorce and seperation. Ironic?. And this Meagan is from Hazzard Kentucky. as in DUKES of... interesting. You know, when I was a kid, I was ALL about Bo Duke. Wow. I had two General Lee Matchbox Cars, one that had a front end that spun around and looked "crashed" one minute and Good as new the next. I used to make ramps and roads in my sandbox and Ram the General Lee into everything. I'd Screech "Uncle Jesse!" and "daisy duke!" and have a blast.

Now, being older, I look back on those days and think WHY oh WHY didn't I see how hot Luke Duke was. How could I have missed it! But you see, when I was a kid, I wanted a blonde haired blue eyed boyfriend, and a blonde haired blue eyed husband... I swore I would have just that. And then I got into high school. And I met Evan. Dark hair and dark eyes and everything I wanted. Isn't that bizarre? But it is interesting that sometimes I still pick the light hair and eyes... Matthew McConahey, David Caruso... but I totally swoon for the Vin Diesels, the Eric Balfours, the Mark Wahlbergs and the Liev Schreibers. In the end, the dark eyes and hair have it. The more mysterious the better. And that Bo Duke fantasy, just a thing of the past.

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Thursday, June 22, 2006

"Farewell" HNT (don't worry I am not going anywhere!)

Farewell Favorite Old Shoes. I will miss you.


Farewell Sunburn, I won't miss you....


Go visit O to see what HNT is about and view other participants. Other HNTers, please come join us at the Flickr HNT Group, where you can view and display your own HNT Pictures.

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Helen of Troy, Queen of Sparta, Daughter of Zeus

1:05am. My eyes are so heavy. I have to force myself to put down my book and go to sleep. What, you ask, has riveted my attention for the past 3 hours? What book could be so fabulous that it has kept my attention as rapt as the Da Vinci Code?

The Memoirs of Helen of Troy by Amanda Elyot

And you can quote me on that. I absolutely can not put this book down. Filled with sex and love and lust and betrayal and cover-ups and war, death, murder, betrayal... Wow. What different times we live in now. Greek Gods and Goddesses. It's fascinating, riveting, thought provoking.... A must read.


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Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Chuck Taylors

I have always had a shoe fetish. Shoes and purses and are the one clothing item that always fit me. That means that I don't have a hard time finding them, the cute ones usually fit, and that I don't grow out of them.

For the most part, I have so many pair of shoes that I don't really wear them out, that is unless I wear them to work. At work we have strict "shoe rules." Some areas can't wear open toed anything. I can wear open toes, but I always have to wear socks or pantyhose. This eliminates lots of shoe choices for me at work. Thong styles, flip flops, etc just don't work out. Then there are backless shoes, which I love, but have you ever walked in backless shoes with nylons? Uh, not good. Pantyhose make your feet slick, so shoes like that tend to not stay on your feet. I hate pantyhose. Also at work it's nice to have shoes that have softer soles, the less falling down you do, and the less noise you make on the floors, which is a real plus in healthcare.

I also tend to do lots of crawling around (under desks, but not like you think...) and unplugging and setting up PC's and printers and things. And with walking, it's nice to have comfortable shoes. But I don't want to be wearing grandma shoes, so I am always on the quest for specific shoes. My sister Liz and I both work in healthcare and we have similar taste and qualifications for shoes. We also wear about the same size, although my feet are just a smidge smaller than hers. So often times she will say "I saw some shoes that were **perfect** and I was going to buy us each a pair..." but usually they don't have more than one pair on our size, IF they even have one in our size... because size 9's and 10's seem to go the quickest.... I believe because that's the most popular size.

When I was at Target, I saw the cutest pink and white golf shoes. Then I pulled my size out of the box and I was like "Geez!" Clown shoes. They always put the size 6 on display. And they look so cute. In a size 6. Then you get a 9 or 10 and you are like WHOA!

So I have just officially considered both of my black dress shoes for work (Loafers and heels) to be trashed. They are stinky (another problem with nylons), the insoles are coming out of them, they are scuffed and they are coming apart. The heels I don't even know where I found them. I have only found one pair that fit like them in about 4 years, and they were out of black ones, and only had tan ones, which I promptly bought, but almost never wear because I don't wear much tan. So Today I started my quest for replacement shoes. I always start at Payless. But lately Payless has had CRAP-Ola shoes. And I always shop online, because every single freakin time I go to the store, all the cute shoes are "gone" in my size. Every single time.

So I spent HOURS going through my "narrowed down search" of 38 pages of shoes in my size and color preference on eBay. I found a few, but nothing that fit ALL my criteria. So I decided to check Payless, and I'll be a monkey's uncle if they don't have some cute new shoes! It's about time! So I ordered 3 pair, two for work and another pair of backless canvas tennis shoes that I wear in the summer each year. Now I wait for them to arrive at the store and try them on and hope they are comfortable. I don't want them to have that ''ankle pinch" thing or the pins and needles in the ball of my foot because the heels are too high. I like the heels that are mid-height and chunky, and have kind of a 1940's retro look to the toe, a squared toe with rounded edges. They are the most comfy and so adorable, especially when they have little straps or bows. I have four pair at home, but the one is worn out, the other is too high heeled to wear to work, and one pair is a half-size too small. That just leaves the tan pair that I don't have anything to match. Except one sweater.

I always see cute shoes at Kohl's, but they almost NEVER have any in my size. And I am not the only person who thinks that. Frustrating. That's where I got the "tan" ones that make me so happy.

So I also bought a new pair of loafers, the pair I have now has a neat zipper across the top, but they are all worn out, they look like hell and they aren't comfy so much anymore.

I also looked at pink shoes on eBay. I am tempted to buy another pair of Chuck Taylors. In high school I had about 7 pair at once, and I got rid of all of them when I moved in with my husband, because they were looking pretty rough. One pair was actually from the 1950's. I went to Manlius High School, and in the 50's they used to have Chuck Taylors as the basketball shoes. They were cream. So when I was in high school and the coach saw us all wearing them again, he took us into the old equipment room and there on the shelves were all sizes of cream chuck taylor High Tops, new in their 1950's style boxes. He sold them to us really cheap- and that pair I kept and still have. Ahh, nostalgia. Small town High Schools. When I was in High School that's when they came out with the new Chuck Talyor's. Evan had a pair that were white with Navy and I had a pair that were white with Navy and Red so they were Red White and Blue. I loved those shoes.

Well, now that my shoe shopping is done, I hope they fit and I am happy. Because I hate it when I can't find the shoe that I want for work. It's frustrating. And if I compromise, I will never wear them, and the old ones won't get properly retired.

Did you know you can design your own Chuck Taylor's Now?
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Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Old Sketches

Tonight I came across some sketchbooks. Most of them are like 89% empty. But this is what I found in the other 11%. Not too bad.....

Click the Link to see a bunch of my sketches that I found. They range from still-lifes to birds to plants, animals, and cartoon characters.


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So Much To Do, So Little Time....

It's rainy, and we are supposed to get storms this afternoon and tonight. When the weather gets icky, my brain instantly says one of three things. 1. Nap 2. Sex 3. Get Crafty.

Since I have had my fair share of 1. and 2. in the past few days, I think Get Crafty is the way to go. I should probably finish, or at least make a dent in, the last 1/4 of my sewing room that I am painting. So I am thinking that this evening might be paint filled. Turn on the radio, throw on shorts and a tank top, and get to painting in the basement. Plus I have a few mini projects to work on, I need to get a battery in my turquoise clock I bought for the sewing room. I need to paint and decorate a wooden box that I got (Turquoise and pink) and also a kraft colored paper mache box (with lid) that I got- both to stash goodies inside in the new turquoise sewing room. And I have some Turquoise themed photos to hang. SO I have plenty to do to make that room pretty, and THEN I have to work on the sewing projects that have taken a backseat since I decided to paint. Like the Moopy #2 that I have all cut out but haven't sewed yet, and also the two skirts that I planned on sewing, purchased patterns and fabric for, and still haven't started.

AND I have knitting needles sitting there and I need to be taught how to Knit, and I need to crochet more on the 4 year blanket. So I have plenty to do.

And did I mention that my scrapbook room/office is a disaster area? I haven't been able to use that table for about 6 weeks. It's a disaster. I need to clean it. I need to light a match and burn all the papers. I need help! A week off work! A professional Organizer!

Walking Zombie

Well, yesterday was a strange day. I didn't blog. Why you ask?

Sunday night I did not sleep. I tried. I lay in bed at 11 and started to read my book. Every time I tried to sleep, I wasn't tired. I kept reading, hoping it would make me tired. At 4am I had finished the entire book. And I still wasn't able to sleep. My sunburn was excruciating. I lay there until 5:30, not sleeping... as the birds started singing, and the traffic started going by on their way to work. I lay there till 6:30 and then I just got up and went to work... 3.5 hours early.

Strange. SO I worked from just before 7 until noon, when I FINALLY and MERCIFULLY started to be tired. I drove to my mom's and slept outside on their futon/swing, for about an hour. Then when the sun started to get low enough to bypass the swing canopy and touch my already-burned skin, I moved inside and slept on the couch for 4 more hours straight. I don't even remember moving, and my mom woke me up at 6pm.

Then I drove home, (the cleaning people had been at my house so I couldn't be) and we ate supper, and went for a walk. Last night I took a sleeping pill at 10:30 and was asleep by 11:30 and didn't move until I just woke up. Thank GOD I slept last night.

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Sunday, June 18, 2006

It's MASSIVE!

Imagine being in the dark, reaching in and wrapping your hand around something twice as big as you expected. It's enough to make any girl squeal with delight.

I am referring to my late night drive-through run for the border, and the unexpectedly large size of the Taco Bell Grilled Chicken Stuffed Burrito. Yum. That thing was HUGE!

Tonight I went to Wal-Mart (regular Sunday activity) to get Q-tips and garbage bags. I also squealed with Delight when I saw that Wal-Mart started carrying Vicki Lewis Thompson's Nerd books.... (remember this post?) and that there were two paperbacks that I haven't read yet... Nerd Gone Wild and The Nerd Who Loved Me. And they were only $2.57 each. So I got them both, and now I plan to climb into bed and start reading... but I am not sure which one to start first! Yeee! Exciting!

I bought a brush set and a hope towel for my golf clubs. I bought a 12 pack of glitter glue pens. I picked up our new kitchen garbage can from layaway (stainless steel.... Yum!) and some tools for me... since husband always loses, misplaces, or hides the tools. A 4 in 1 screwdriver, a tape measure, and a pair of pliers. That way I won't have to use my jewelry pliers for attaching dog tags to their collars anymore. And I can measure windows for blinds all day long! Sweet!

So I am doing laundry, and I think I will just plain enjoy reading tonight.... and being happy that my Wal-Mart trip meant suffering through wearing a bra for only 1 hour (damn sunburn!)

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Naked Sunday Sunburn

Weekend Documentary.

Friday- Had a long and busy day at work, got home around 7:30, took my backless diamond earrings to Zales in Peru where they claim the backs need to be professionally refitted and sent them away. They polished my wedding bands to remove scratches and whisked them through a cleaning till they positively sparkled.

Bought a cute new shirt and matching earrings to wear 4th of July weekend.

Went to Target and bought my golf clubs.

Tried a new Arby's Wrap- Chicken salad- mmmm great!

Got home at 10:30, changed clothes, new make-up, kissed husband, and off to Mineral at 12:10am to meet my sister. Had a few drinks bought by Dane Maupin and hung out with Dane, Ty Kipp, and Travis Miller, and my sister Liz till 2am. Took the long way home, out through my old stompin grounds. Stopped to Pee along the road. Got home at 2:30am, husband got home, we stayed up till 4am.

Saturday- Woke up at 8:30, went to Dover for an altered tins class (scrapbooking/stamping) and then came home through the traffic of 100 miles of garage sales on US Route 6. Wyanet was hopping. Evan and I decided to go swimming. Took the dogs with us. Went out to the farm, had the pool to ourselves. I commenced some topless sunbathing. A Stealth Bomber flew overhead in circles, about 5 times. After worrying that we were being bombed, we talked to someone via cell phones that clarified there was an airshow in Lasalle/Peru. Husband made a very flattering comment, quite by mistake, that took me really off guard but made me happy.

Husband- **Sitting on the deck smoking a cigarette** "If that bomber flys over again they are going to get quite a show"
Wife- **Floating topless in the pool** "They can't see me, they are way up there."
Husband- "They have radar scopes that would see an ant crawling into an ant hill, don't kid yourself"
Wife- "Well I don't care if they see my boobs. It's not like they have never seen boobs before. And probably better ones than mine."
Husband- "I don't care either. It's not like they are going to land in the beanfield over there and track you down. (**pauses thoughtfully**) Better boobs, huh? Well, yours are pretty damn good. There aren't really better boobs than that. It takes talent to have boobs like that."

Wife- **floating on the raft smiling* "talent? more like good genes"

We both dozed in the sun. 3 hours later we picked up and left. We came home, took showers, and my parents came to pick us up. We went to celebrate Father's Day by going to the Pizza Hut Bistro in Peru for supper. Then we went to See Cars (It was great, a little too long, but it was good.) and then Laser Light Bowling for two games. I got 2nd place in both games. I tied with my sister for second in the first game. Everyone was freaked out because Evan typed my name in as "Dazed" and then when we finished I bowled an 81 both games. So I was "dazed81" twice. And "dazed81" is my license plates, my web address, my email, and my blogger address. Strange! Husband and my dad both commented on my bowling consistency. Right down the center. Very consistent. Nice release, but I just needed a heavier ball because I the majority of my frames would have been strikes with a heavier ball. I always had 1 pin left standing, or maybe 2. Sometimes I could pick up the spare, but only if I had the remaining pins on the center or left.

By the time we left the Bowling Alley Saturday night, I knew my skin was burnt good. When we got home I tore my clothes off (carefully) and husband put Ocean Potion on me, that awesome aloe with Lidocaine. I proceeded to sleep for 10 hours (sheer exhaustion after only 4 hours of sleep Friday) and now we have so much to do (cleanup) before the cleaning people come tomorrow. I am pretty much having a naked day because I am as red as a lobster. Even the tops of my feet are red. I have one white stripe horizontally across my body from my bottoms. Besides that I am red. At least my back didn't really burn, just the front. I tried to flip but I think when I lay on the deck for a while, that's when the burn started. And I would rather be burnt on the front than the back. So I lay in bed, eating pistachios and watching the Breakfast Club. I decided to do some naked sunburnt blogging. And next I will do naked housekeeping. Won't that be fun? I am too burnt to try out my new golf clubs today, as previously planned.

I wish I had pictures. Really.

Happy Father's Day!

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Saturday, June 17, 2006

Wilson Hope Golf Clubs

Happiness is.......

my own golf clubs.


Shiny, New Pink and Purple Breast Cancer Awareness Golf Clubs to be precise!


With Matching Tees, Balls, and a Pink Hope Visor!
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Friday, June 16, 2006

I was Cute Once!

106 New Photos of Me Growing up- mostly 5years and younger.

Go entertain yourself with my childhood. Some of Liz too... she WAS my litttle sister.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/dazed81/sets/72057594103017276/

I also came across some old pictures of me in high school, graduation/prom, etc. and a few college age pictures. See them in the Evan and Meagan album at
http://www.flickr.com/photos/dazed81/sets/72057594058154823/

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Thursday, June 15, 2006

19.5 pounds lost to date.

Well, yesterday morning when I weighed myself, I have lost another pound and a half. That's good. That puts me at 19.5 pounds total since February 23rd. And this morning when I weighed myself I was still there, so that means it wasn't a fluke! Yeah! After the first 15 pounds, things have really been moving slowly. I need to be excercising more, but it's hard when I have so much else I want to get done, and lately the weather has been pretty unpredicatble, with sweatshirt weather and high winds one day, pouring down rain the next day, and then like 93 degrees the next day with unbearable humidity. I guess that is no excuse seeing as how I have a treadmill in my DINING ROOM, eh?

My "doctor" is super proud of me.... and I feel great... but I still have a long long way to go for my goal.

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Cherry on Top HNT

Happy HNT Everyone! Go visit O to learn all about HNT and see a listing of the other gazillion participants. To read all my HNT posts, click here. To see all my HNT photos, click here.

AND all you HNTers please join us at the HNT Group on Flickr!


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Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Everyone loves Breasts, right?

Last Night I took my bath and planned on starting to read Memoirs of Helen of Troy. And I was distracted. By the new Playboy. And instead I read the whole thing. Cover to Cover. I love Playboy. Hef is truly a genius. I love watching the Girls Next Door and I LOVE LOVE LOVE Bridget and even Holly. The girls have their own calendar and I want it SO SO SO bad! They are so cute and sweet! But I figure I can't hang it up at work, and I don't really hang up a calendar at home. But still. I covet the Girls Next Door Calendar.

Honestly, most women would think I am nuts. But I think that it would be so cool to live with Hef. He is the perfect gentleman to those girls! They have cookouts and Mardi Gras and Birthday Parties. Theme Parties are my downfall. As Jimmy says "the chink in my armor" LOL. Too bad people around here suck ass at Theme parties. no one follows the theme. That's why I LOVE LOVE LOVE Halloween!

I couldn't live at the mansion like they do. Besides the obvious not being a teeny, tiny-waisted blonde, I am totally into the get married and settle down and have kids scene. And it would be hard (as you witness Holly go through) sharing your man. And not having kids. But if you were like one big happy family, sharing your man could be tolerated. I guess I just think it is appealing... but I am sure I could never pull it off.

If I could go all freaky Friday, I would love to switch with one of them for the day... or maybe for a week. I would totally switch with Kendra, because I would want to hang out with Bridget and Holly... Except that would mean that Kendra would be with Evan.... and trying to do my job, which would be a disaster, so I would have to let Holly go be with Evan and do my job. That would probably be better. Or maybe time could just stop and I could hop over there, suddenly become playboy material, and hang out with them and go to Mardi Gras and Have a party with a slip-n-slide and check out the grotto. And then just hop back to my regular life and no one would miss me. That would be ideal. Ahhh.... in a perfect world.

So back to Playboy. I learn more from that magazine then I did in High School. I swear. Like did you know that the inventor of Turtle Wax used to mix it up in his bathtub, then go to Chicago Cubs games and while the game was going on, he would polish the fenders of cars in wrigleyville. When people would come out after the game, they would have a shiny fender, and he would be selling his wax. How cool of a story is that? That's like a thing that Hef would recall. Super cool. Where was that kind of knowledge and nostalgia in High School? Damn! The shit I learn from Playboy. I love to read the advisor. The shit that people come up with! Wow.

Oh, and speaking of awesome ta-tas.... men and women alike, you need to go do this. This is a petition. I know I know. Petitions don't make me a tree-hugger.

There is a push by insurance companies to make Mastectomy an outpatient procedure. What does Congress have to do with healthcare, you ask? Well, hopefully the The Breast Cancer Patient Protection Act of 2005 will help to protect the rights of Breast Cancer Patients.

After having a mastectomy, a breast cancer patient would no longer be able to stay in the hospital and have their stay covered by insurance. Normally there is a 2-day stay. Now what really pisses ME off about this, is a bunch of congressmen (and only a few congresswomen), who have never had their own set of boobs in their life, get to make this decision. Um. No.

How about we lop off your penis, and then we let a huge group of women in suits decide that it's okay to send you home, instead of a physician. How's that sound? Okay? Um no.

So please sign the petition. Hey, why not just do it for my mom, shes'a breast cancer survivor and she's one cool chick. Do it for your mom, and your wife, and your girlfriend, and your daughters. Sign the petition. Then come back and read some more.
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Thank You.

Why is it, that when I do something for someone else, and they say Thank You, I say "thank you" back to them? What the Fuck is up with that? If I volunteered my time, if I fixed a problem, etc. (this isn't involving work, I mean like in my personal life.) Every time someone says Thank You... I say "thank you" right back. I need my head examined. I need suggestions of polite responses. I don't want to say "anytime" because that's not the truth. I don't always want to be the go to girl. How about I just say "you're Welcome." ?? Maybe you all could start calling and/or emailing me, and you say thank you, and I can practice saying "your welcome." Why is it that I thank someone for something that I did as a favor to them? Is there anyone else out there with this problem? A support group? Thank-You-A-Holics. Thank-A-Holics-Anonymous? Your-Welcome-Phobics?

Thanks. Thank YOU for reading. Thank You.
Thanks. really. Thank You.

In the Yard...

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Out for a Drive....

I have been in a total "badgirl" mood lately. Husband is oblivious. In his own world. Last night he was MIA and when I went to bed at 12 midnight I still hadn't seen him, heard from him, and he hadn't answered his phone. I didn't get home until almost 9pm, leaving work at 7:15 and the picking up pictures at the Wal-Mart and wandering aimlessly around the store.

When I got home I took a bath, did the full body scrub, shave, moisturize.... so I had the soft wife skin totally going on. No husband. Figures. Typical Male. So I lay in bed for a while, waiting. Nothing. I wasn't really tired, but I was oh so bored. I thought about reading, but instead I got a brilliant idea. It was so nice outside, and I was going to do something I hadn't done in a long time. Naked Driving. So I slipped on a chemise and some flip flops with kitten heels, and snuck out to the car, using my cell phone as light to unlock the garage and the car, so the neighbor kids camping in their yard wouldn't see me with wet hair and no bra or underwear... not to mention no pants.

I got in the car, got out of town and into the country, rolled down the windows, cranked the radio, and took off my little pajama dress! Yeah! Exhiliration! Cool night air on my skin! Fabulous! And of course I wore my seat belt! I went all over. In the country... when I passed through town I would slip my pj's back on and be all halfway respectable. Until I got out of town. So I drove about for about 1-2 hours, enjoying the cool night breeze, a great big moon, and all the stars. There was good music on the radio. I drove like 45 because I didn't want to hit a deer naked, and have to call the cops to make a report.

About halfway through my trip I had to pee. So I stopped at the canal. It was so peaceful out there at night, all stars and moon and trees swaying in the breeze. I sat on the front bumper of the car for a while, stark ass naked, and watched the water. A truck drove by. They didn't brake so I am pretty sure they didn't even see me. Then I took the long way home, climbed into bed and fell fast asleep.

Maybe I was born to be a nudist. How often do people get to be naked in nature and just feel completely comfortable and relaxed? Sometimes I think it's a real shame that society and culture has advanced so far that we can't enjoy some nudity in nature. Some good quality time by yourself with just the world around you. City people probably have no idea what I am talking about. That makes me sad.

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Thank God It's Thursday! The Un-HNT

When I finally drug my ass out of bed this morning, my first thought, was "thank god It's Thursday!" and then I thought Wednesday? and then I remembered that yesterday was Monday, and that would make today Tuesday.... and I was crushed. Not HNT? Well we will "pretend" that it is Thursday today because THAT Will make me happy.

I stayed up till 3am reading the second half of Gone with the Nerd and oh yeah, they totally got it on! SwEEt~ and then there was a super happy ending. Love it. love it love it. But my husband was snoring away when the book was finished, so he missed out. Too bad for him.

Today I am wearing my fake ponytail, which I love. My camera card is full again so once I take care of that I will try for a picture. Most people don't recognize me when I have my hair this way. I can go to Wal-Mart and people who would say hello to me normally, just walk right past me. It's bizarre. I don't think I look so totally different with my hair back. I guess it's because in my younger days with my hair pulled back I had bangs covering my giant ted danson forehead. And now, I don't. By the way I never thought one thing or another about my forehead, I always thought it was just a normal forehead. Until one day when I told my mom (years ago) that I was going to grow out my bangs and she said "Not a good idea with that forehead" and I was like "what?!" all crushed and shit. Thanks Ma. So now I know, courtesy of my mom, that I have a freakishly large forehead.

I wish someone could show me how to put a damn video on this stupid blog. I have a video of chicks pole dancing at Dueling Pianos in Wrigleyville, and I wanted to share it, but no one will take the time to help. Damn you readers! Isn't there a horny bastard out there who will help me put one out there?! Really after review, they are pretty lame. I mean, I thought they were lame at the time, but in person all I could think was "don't quit your day job." I mean you don't get up on a pole in the middle of a bar on top of a piano unless you are really gonna work it. And they were pretty lame. I've seen dirtier dancing at prom than on the pole in this video.
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Monday, June 12, 2006

Cold Front Moving in.....

Imagine my surprise when I checked the National Weather Service Forecast this afternoon. Forecast for the next week.... ZERO Degress with nightime windchills between -9 and -14. Now that's an extreme June, even in Illinois!

Click the pic to make it larger so you can read the text!


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Emails from Jesus

I always KNEW that Jesus and I would get a long, and now I go and see that he is a Saggitarius like me?! Figures! I never even thought of that! Of COURSE with the highly trustable documentation of his December 25th Birth. Duh! So you have to check out (and regularly read) this blog, emails from Jesus.... http://www.emailsfromjesus.com/

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Henry the Adequate and the Naked Lesbain Vampires

Speaking of erotica.... ahem.

You should go check out my new renter. He's a computer geek like me, but he writes the adventures of Henry the Adequate in his spare time. It is pretty good stuff, of course some of it is on the erotic side, and there are some naked lesbian vampires, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

So unless you are my grandma, go visit!

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Sexy Reading...

I am reading a great book right now. I love sexy mystery/romance books. I don't mean like harlequin Romance crap, I mean like Chick Lit Mystery/Romance stories loaded with Sex. (yep, that's what I said. I like to read about sex. I also like erotica. Deal with it.)

I am currently reading Vicky Lewis Thompson's Gone with the Nerd... and it is excellent. I read it last night for a few hours, and got about halfway through. My husband had to make me put the bookmark in it at 3am. And it was the first thing I thought about this morning and I have been itching to get back to it. Her book Talk Nerdy to Me was excellent as well as Sophie Kinsella's Undomestic Goddess. Thompson has at least two more Nerd Books, and I think there might be three, that I will have to get my hands on. Soon. Because nerds are sexy...

Love it! So I am on edge today, wanting to continue the reading.

Husbands, if you want to get lucky, buy one of Thompson's books for your wife, and then be as close by and un-annoying as possible when she is reading it. And ideally rubbing her back.

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Sunday, June 11, 2006

Painting!

Well, I am painting! I did end up pointing out my inspiration page to husband, and believe it or not, he said "go buy the paint." which was sort of surprising. With all his crankiness of late I was for sure that he would think it was another one of my unnecessary "big ideas."

I bought the paint Friday night and I painted today, I have 2 and 3/4 walls done, of the four. It takes quite a bit of time, because the walls are old cement and rough, so you have to use a brush, and then you have to dab the brush in all the cement crevices... and I decided to leave the upper 1/4 of the room, which is brick, white so that it would save time and maybe the room wouldn't be so overwhelmingly aqua. I like it so far. Of course the floor is uneven, the walls bow, and the cement is ANCIENT, but it's the best I can do with what I have. I know it isn't perfect or fabulous... but I am still happier when it is turquoise! And it does brighten the room. I also bought some cheap $2 a yard fabric to make a matching curtain with little flower tie backs, and I think a skirt for my big table and perhaps my sewing machine.... so that it looks a bit more finished and I can stash totes of fabric under the table. Who knows. It might be 2010 before I do that....

One thing I can tell you, you HAVE to get "paint-pourri" next time you paint. I bought Citrus Paint-pourri at Wal-Mart and they mixed it in with my paint. It makes the paint smell citrus-y and there is NO paint fumes. The whole house smells like I scrubbed it with lemons. It is supposed to stay in the room (the air-freshener scent) for 6-12 months, which will be nice in the basement! It is great stuff! Even if it doesn't last, it has made painting in an enclosed area FABULOUS!

I have probably put 4.5 hours into painting already, for three walls. I listened to some kick ass music, including: Jamiroquai, Tripping Daisy, Sublime, Violent Femmes, Green Day, The Gourds (Gin and Juice) Tommy James and The Shondells, L7, Hum, and Liz Phair.

Friday night I watched Ava. Saturday morning Anya and I took Ava and went to a yard sale that was advertised as AWESOME and we got there and it was a BUST. Then Evan and I went to his family reunion, which was fun (really) and then we fell asleep for two or three hours at home. I had a dream about people with telescoping legs (like camera tri-pods.) They were awesome!

Then my friend Angela called and we went out for supper at Mi Margarita's in Peru, and followed up with a trip to Home Depot, where I was SEVERELY disappointed in their garden center, and the number of plants they had that were not hardy in Illinois. Why would anyone pay $24-$34 each for the Tropical Hibiscus, Azalea, and a flowering vine- just so they can die. And the kicker is that most folks probably have no idea those aren't hardy here. Bastards. Then we went to McDonalds and I had ice cream, and Ang had coffee and an apple pie. We sat up talking till about 1am, and the second she left I remembered that I forgot to go to work! YIKES! So I ran my ass to work at 1:30am and got my shit done, then to Wal-mart and bought toilet paper and also more adhesive (4 pack) ALL of which I used today in my altered journal. (the adhesive, not the toilet paper) Jeez.

Today I painted for several hours, then went to work again, then came back and painted again. I ate supper (salmon and vegetables, with berries for dessert), started laundry, and painted more... I just finished my painting for the night.

Now I need to take a bath to get the blue paint off my legs.

Ahh....
Goodnight all!

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