Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Knitty Gritty

At 2am I decided that it would be a good idea to learn how to knit. Ummm.... yeah, it didn't go so well. Up front, let me tell you that I am left handed. I crochet left handed. While that works great for me, it tends to throw you right handed people for a huge-ass fucking loop. But I was actually taught to crochet by my aunt, who was super cool patient, and didn't let the left handed thing screw her up or dissuade her a bit. We did notice that my crochet slants the opposite direction as hers and most items made by right handers. Did I mention I have been crocheting the same dark purple afghan for like, umm.... oh probably 4 years. It's like SUPER wide so it takes me a long time to get across it once, but I do crochet pretty fast, and I can do it without looking, so I like to Crochet and watch TV. But I go in spurts and I forget that I am even doing it, so my work suffers.

Late last night I had to make a wal-mart trip for moopy's face. I didn't have the right fabric. I needed like a 4x4 inch SQUARE and didn't have any in the right color. I was like "great, gonna buy a 1/4 yard and pay too much for the 4x4 square that I actually need out of it" and wouldn't you know, a PERFECT remnant, khaki/linen colored for Moopy's Face... only 65 cents. wOOt!

And somehow I got to perusing all the craft aisles 500 times each. And somehow I started looking at YARN. And somehow I was looking at knitting books. It all started with those damn red sweaters, and that darn cute pumpkin hat, and this purse.... and I thought "I can do this, Anya will teach me!" Anya can knit and I can crochet. Well, about a year ago, or maybe a while longer, Anya and I decided to teach each other. I taught her crochet, but I never really wanted to knit. I didn't want to get caught up in it when I was still crocheting the same afghan for 4 years. She did show me how to do a round/rosette crochet stitch, which was cool, but every time I want to continue, I have to call her and be all like "come over, I can't remember how to do this!" After crocheting a single crochet for a while, Anya said to me "This takes forever! I would MUCH rather knit!" and my wheels jarred and started turning! aha! I should be KNITTING! That's the problem! My husband thinks the coolest show on DIY is Knitty Gritty, because of the name. He's always like "Look! It's Knitty Gritty!" And to me, it was just one more reminder that I can't and shouldn't knit, because I don't ever finish a crochet project.

Well, at 11:30pm in the Wal-mart aisle last night I gave in. #8 aluminum needles in **pink** and a Better Homes and Gardens "You can KNIT!" book. and at 2am, after retreiving a new skein of yellow baby soft yard from my stash in the lidded antique picnic basket in the attic.... I couldn't even Cast On! Damn it all! At 2:58am I gave up and went to sleep. And this morning the first thing I did... e-mail Anya. HELP! I can't do it without you! And she laughed at me.

Tonight I get to see baby Ava and learn how to crochet. Hopefully.

If I never learn how to be a productive knitter, I will never be able to justify having the coolest glass knitting needles and cases like these....

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