Saturday, June 24, 2006

14 hours later.....

Before We Begin, let me tell you of my recommended reading to start your Saturday...

Cingular Lowers Multimedia Pricing to Match Text Message Pricing- Buy the Plan!

Let the Good Lord Heal Your Wicked Wounds- Jesus Themed Band-Aids

Now, let me begin by telling you of my fabulous evening. I got home from work at 6:30, husband and mom (mine) were in our driveway. You see, we have a hornets nest in the bushes by the front door, so we are trying to avoid that area... so they were out back. Husband left "to play cards" and then mom left soon too. Anya brought Ava over so I could babysit. I had just changed clothes. Ava played with links and things while I ate my salad, or tried to... while the dog whined and barked at me. I thought, of course, that husband (having just been leaving, and having confined the dogs to the porch) had let them out before he intended on leaving. Apparently not. Because just as Ava commenced crying loudly and inconsolibly (hungry) Hadley began his 8 mile walking pee. Starting in the bathroom, he casually strolled through the bathroom, office, dining room, living room, and eventually bedroom... only to return to the bathroom again, leaving a fell stream of piss in his wake. I did not see this act until I tried to make my way to the kitchen to prepare a bottle, and stepped in piss the entire way.

So with screaming baby in tow, I curse the dog and make the damn bottle. Then I get the milk too warm, so stick the bottle in the freezer for a second... and then run it under cold water for a few more seconds, all the while surrounded by a river of dog pee and a screaming baby. I decided on a plan. A. Feed Baby B. Clean Up Pee C. Ban Dogs to outside for remainder of night.

Brilliant, eh? As ava is finishing her bottle, there is a grumble in her tummy, and a look on her face that gives me 1/8th of a seconds warning before her ENTIRE bottle comes Back up, all over me, the couch, the rug, the floor, and the poor little dear herself. She was so upset! I carried her dripping to the kitchen where I could have rang her out she was so soaked. (still dog pee on the floor) and commenced to strip her down and put her on the bed. then I banned the dogs to the porch. Ava cried. I got her happy again. Got out the paper towels and started wiping up the river of dog pee. Got ALMOST around the whole house... Ava crying again. Soothed Ava. Got out the Swiffer Mop. Mopped everywhere that was once a river of pee. Ava crying again. Took Ava to the kitchen sink and gave her a bath (which she really enjoyed) and I was very pleased with myself for keeping the Aussie baby wash/shampoo last year and not throwing it out when I cleaned the bathroom cupboard.

Dried Ava, she was thrilled with her bath... so happy... until she realized the bath was over. Ava cried more. took her outside. Swinging on the swing. 20 minutes later... Ava asleep. Called Anya, had her bring me spare clothes for Ava. Ava sleeping in basinnet in spare bedroom. Went outside to smoke a cigarette (ahhhh....) then let the dogs outside. Planned on putting dogs in kennel after their potty break. Ava crying again. Got the dogs in their kennel, got in the house.... Ava crying. took her outside to the swing. Attempted to soothe her for about 25 minutes. No avail. brought her back inside. Bundled her in a blanket and calmed her down FINALLY and she slept the rest of the evening.

Started Laundry. Unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher. Washed ava's spitty clothes. Changed my clothes, soaked down to my bra. Washed my clothes. Folded Towels, Hung Up clothes, Organized my closet, Wiped down kitchen counters. Rinsed Recyclables. Found 4 Trojan worms and 4 infected files on our PC. Read all my emails. Read all the blogs on my blogroll. Picked up our bedroom. Switched Laundry. Checked Email again. tried to backup my documents on the PC but they are almost 2 gig and too big for a fucking CD, even as a zip file. Need a DVD Drive. Too big for my 1 gig jump drive. I give up. Who cares. Write this blog post and go to sleep.

That's how 7 hours of my day goes AFTER 7 hours of work, at my job, where I was busy.

No wonder I can't keep my eyes open!

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