Jessica and Nick, Christina Appelgate and hubbie Jonathan, Fights between Britney and Skank Federline, all of this has prompted lots of talk lately about prenuptual agreements.
Evan and I joke (or at least I joke) that we should have had a pre-nup ourselves. You see, I come attached with MANY MANY MANY posessions. I have hobbies like scrapbooking, stamping, crocheting, basket weaving, photography, painting, that all come with collections of things. I have furniture, I have clothes and shoes, purses and jewelry. I also have electronica, and household decorations, and cooking stuff up the wazoo. So when we got married, Evan's new thing is "what's mine is yours, what's yours is mine." And he is right, but I still have the posessiveness. Like he is working at my scrapbooking table, with his laptop, and I put some of my scrapbook stuff over on his side (because you need lots of space when scrapbooking) and he says "Hey, this is MY side of the table" and I say "this is MY table!" and he replies with the glare and "this it OUR table. We are married now, remember?" and I am like DAMN! We should have signed a prenup! And he rolls his eyes.
But what I am seeing lately is more shocking than "that's my table." The following are lists of recent celebrity prenup requests, as cited by lawyers....
— Limiting the wife's weight to 120 pounds or she must relinquish $100,000 of her separate property.
— Allowing a spouse to perform random drug tests, with financial penalties for positive results.
— Requiring a husband to pay $10,000 each time he is rude to his wife's parents.
— The previously mentioned rules regarding mothers-in-law, football and sex.
Whatever man. Limiting the wife's weight?! Oh what a load of crap! What if she has a tumor that weighs ten pounds, or a fibrous mass? What if she is pregnant? What the hell? What woman with any amount of decency would sign that? Oh I know that you will love me and cherish me, as long as I weigh less than an unhealthy 120 pounds. You are definately the one for me! Yeah right! What about limiting the man's weight? Husband must weigh less than 180 pounds (yes, unreasonable, remember) at all times and must give the wife sex 2 nights a week and must take out the garbage once a week and must put all his dirty socks in the hamper. a $100, 000 penalty will result for each sock found on the floor or on the kitchen counter or the computer desk (for real, it happens, i know from experience.)