Thursday, December 15, 2005

2005: A Year in review (humor)


Smart-Ass Answer #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. Asa man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened histrench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I needto see your ticket, not your stub."

Smart-Ass Answer #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, butcouldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a butcher, "Do theseturkeys get any bigger?" The butcher replied, "No, ma'am, they're dead."

Smart-Ass Answer #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolleddown his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. Thekid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the copfinally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

Smart-Ass Answer #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that readsLow bridge ahead.' Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him andhe gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, apolice car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to thetruck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" Thetruck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas."

Smart-Ass Answer #1
A college teacher remindsher class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now, Class, I won't tolerate anyexcuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attackor a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediatefamily but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in theback of the room raised his! hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrowI said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" Theentire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. Whensilence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student,shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.
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