Jailbait.

Okay. Guilty. Here I go confessing another sin. First it's "un-shopping" and now this.

I am really starting to suck. At reading other people's blogs.

For a while now, I have my little blogroll. People that I read daily. Really Daily. Or sometimes even more than once a day. But in the past few weeks, okay, maybe month... I have been lucky to get to those people once a week. I did a little weeding, removing some from my blogroll, because even though I liked them, I haven't been able to read them for a month or two. Those who have stuck.... ummm.... I mostly want to read. Some of them don't post often. Some of them have the occasional good post, and the occasional not so good post. We all do. Although there are some who have more not good posts than good posts.

Then there are the Kristen's that have good posts practically every day but she has so many commenters and has become blogher famous, that I feel like it's pointless for me to even comment anymore. Like "what does she care if I liked her post, 39 other people already said that, and it's pointless for me to chime in." and I start to feel like this outsider.

I also feel like an outsider on the mommy blogs, because I don't have kids or I am not selling t-shirts for some good cause. I am a broke-ass bitch people. I am, at this moment, my own good cause. If I sell a t-shirt (which is never) I will totally keep the $1 profit for myself, so I can get my sorry ass out of debt. Selfish I know.

I am recently guilty of being detached. Guilty of being selfish. Guilty of not having time or not making time to read all the blogs out there that need to be read. Guilty. I post what I want, then I go back to my regularly scheduled life. Has the novelty of the blog community worn off? Have I realized that people will be your blog pal long enough to get ideas and comradarie and then move upward and outward and onward? I have people that I really do like to read and who I feel a connection with. For some reason, I feel like I click with C-8 at Snozberries. I click with Tina in Prague and In certain ways, I click with Christie at I Miei Pensieri. I always
click with Matt and I click with Nello even though she doesn't really know it. I used to click really well with Izzy but she is in with the mommy blogger crowd where I don't belong, and I feel her going a different direction in her posts, so I kinda feel like we don't click as much anymore.

In my real life, I should tell you that I am a complex mixture of people person and loner. I like to be alone. I like to read a book or watch TV or be at home with my dogs. I like to go on walk's alone. I will stop to talk to people, but I don't like to walk two dogs with people babbling in my ear the whole time. I prefer to have the iPod. I prefer to walk with husband. We tend to just walk, and only talk when we want to. It's nice. I like to walk with other people occasionally. It's not a big deal. But I sometimes just want to be alone. I don't even always like to be with my husband, because I like to be alone. I like to eat lunch alone (some of the time) and I like to eat dinner alone (some of the time.) Sometimes being alone is like my ONE break from PEoPLE!

I don't mind being alone. I don't. I know that sounds crazy maybe, but I am not afraid of doing something with just me. My thoughts are enough for 50 people to think about. I just like to be able to do what I want without having to be polite or considerate all the time. Not that I am anyway, but you know what I mean. So sometimes I just want to be alone. I am sure prison would suck, because I would never be alone, what with the roomate and all that jazz.

I like people. I like to go out with a group of friends, I like to go out to eat, I like to road trip on occasion (although I am always the sober driver and we are all of age.) and I like to sit at Brad and Anya's House or in their garage or on the patio and smoke cigarettes with Josh and Lisa. But there are times that I just want to be alone. Really. I am sure that to some people I seem hot and cold. I don't want people to be offended, but I like to be alone sometimes. I prefer to work alone in some circumstances and I prefer to be left alone some days. Other days I want to chatter and laugh. So if you are ever curious, just flat out ask me. "Do you want to hang out today" and I will flat out tell you.

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• BadGirls