Wednesday, April 05, 2006

The Crack Whore Avatar. Coming Soon!

Avatars piss me off. Not all avatars. I think the idea of an avatar is a great one. The fact that you can make your own is awesome. But when it comes to avatars like on yahoo, where you make one that looks like you (or don't, whatever... it's your choice.) all the avatars are skinny with cute hair and platform shoes. It's like the bratz dolls have taken over the world. How many people have heads that make them look like lollipops on a stick? (besides the olsen twins, lindsay lohan, and the "new" christina ricci, or Britney Murphy.) Same problem with Sims. You can't make a fat Sim. The only place I have ever been able to make a semi-successful representation of my roly-poly self (long skinny legs and long arms on a round body, much like the apple on the fruit of the loom commercials) is on LL Bean's simulator to try on clothing. And I don't think they even HAVE that anymore.

So how abouts we get ourselves some fat ass avatars out there. Or at least some that aren't picture perfect superhero/bratz/barbie/raver looking things. (as I say this and I use Wonderwoman {a superhero with a fabulous figure} as my avatar and as my blog's namesake...oh the irony of my bitching...) But even though I may not look like Wonder Woman at all, I FEEL like here and so I identify. And she represents me. As my avatar.

But my yahoo chick? I totally don't identify with her body, except that I feel cute sometimes. And I get told I am cute alot. Not beautiful. Just cute. but I am okay with that. But seriously, why do all avatars have to look like 16 year old virgins trying to look naughty and spouting out words like "kewl" and "pleaze" and snapping their gum with their eyes rimmed in eyeliner and their bangs in their eyes. And all the guy avatars look like little emo punk rockers. WTF?

How long can one look hang on? When I was 16, and that was 10 years ago, I dyed my hair red and had my nose pierced and wore a belt made of a seat belt and a terry cloth polo shirt from the Salvation Army and had a metal pac man lunchbox for a purse. I had 5 pair of converse. I had funky rings and care bear shoelaces. When will this phase go away? Instead of getting new trends they just keep renaming the same ones. Ohhh.... Now it's called EMO so it must be NEW! You know a look has sold out when they put a Hot Topic store in the mall in cornfield, illinois so kids can buy a punk rock wardrobe that looks just like all their little friends, and when green day stops dressing that way because all the teeny boppers make it look ridiculous. I love it when a kid with black hair and eyeliner walks by me at the mall and gives me the "I'm so punk rock and you're so 1996" look and I want to say "I had my nose pierced when you were in kindergarden bitch! Get your own fucking trend!"

How is a person nearing 30 supposed to get a cool avatar? Make your own. That's all there is to it.

But on the flip side, where are the courtney love crack whore trailer park avatars? Think of all those nasty bitches out there who need a crack whore avatar and they are all walkin about the internet looking like a bratz doll. That's mis-representation I tell you. It could get some seriously scary relationships going.

And for all you mommy bloggers out there, where's the avatar with the drooling tot on one hip and the 4 year old clinging to her other leg. You know the one with the oversized t-shirt, hair in a ponytail, sweatpants and slippers?

And where is the avatar for that husband on the couch? The one with the remote in one hand and the beer in the other? The one who can't see or hear his own kids screaming as the mommy avatar pries them off her legs so she can take a piss?

We need an avatar overhaul.

Check this out... Why Are Yahoo Avatars So Skinny?
Guess I am not the only one wondering this.

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12 comments:

Christie said...

well said

Croaker said...

I agree, I think it mostly involves people not wanting to admit they are really fat, old and bald. If you are size 22 and think you are sexy ten why do you have a size 2 avatar? (not you I'm being retorical)

[m]att™ said...

I also agree, well said. However, being a loyal "Sims" fan, I doth protest ! There are a couple "larger" body types on the game, but its not nearly close enough to a real representation of the world.

I am all for portreying "larger" body types or fat, old and bald avatars. I am, however, strongly against "obese" avatars. Somehow I believe it allows people to think that obesity is alright, when it is not. There is a difference between the two. The latter is a disease, and I don't think it should be promoted any more than it already is.

Kristi said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kristi said...

Good call, Wonder Woman. My avatar is like a little boost to my self esteem when I look at her. It's the "when I loose twelve (notice I went for the go between of ten and fifteen??:)) pounds, perfect hair and make-up day with a kick-ass outfit" me. Not realistic at all, but it's like this little dream world to peer into as I'm eating Girl Scout cookies changing my avatar's outfit.

IzzyMom said...

I don't know if these can be used as avatars, per se but I came across it last night and had some fun playing with it and dressing her up.

http://www.spookbot.com/green/fatdollie.htm

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