Sunday, November 06, 2005

Number Two, Here I come.

Being a slacker never pays off. Not everyone believes this theory, But I certainly do. Maybe it is a man versus woman thing. With so much to do this weekend, I was certainly not wanting to slack. There are two ways to deal with weekend chores.

Number 1. Spread out the work over the weekend. Work casually
eachday. This usually means that you spend your entire weekend cleaning
and organizing, albeit casually.

Number 2. Be extremely lazy or just plain goof off on the first day,
then run around frantically and bust your ass on day two. Your stress
levels are elevated and things don't get done as completely as you envisioned
them, but the completion is tolerable. You are generally pissed off at
everyone around you because they A. Did not help or B. (usually in my case)
egged you on to be a slacker the previous day, and procrastinated, saying the
familiar phrase "We can do this tomorrow" and the increasingly evil phrase,
which never comes true "I will help you, don't worry."

Number 3. (I just thought of this one) This happens in a perfect world. You have little or no weekend chores. Throughout the week, you do one or two chores each evening when arriving home from work. Your husband is content to help with dinner, and instead of stacking his dirty dishes and the empty wrappers from his late night snack on the kitchen counter, he discovers where the garbage AND the dishwasher are. His shoes and yours are not strewn about every room in the house, and you both discover that empty hangers have a place, and it is not on every surface in the house. laundry is completed as it accumulates and socks and underwear are not abandoned on the floor behind the bathroom door until it won't open anymore. You open the mail every day and either address the bills and papers immediately or throw them away. There are no stacks of catalogs and junk mail and bills and things to deal with "later" Your weekends are filled with frolicking trips to places like Bishop Hill and Starved Rock State Park. You go out for dinner and you take nice scenic car rides. You scrapbook and bake and smile your pearly white smile with relaxation. You take trips to a "cabin" and go see movies.

When I start the situation, I plan on number 1. But almost NEVER do I complete number one instead I am egged on to do number two, which leaves me cranky, feeling like my weekend was a complete failure, and everything I accomplished was without any assistance from anyone else. And longing for the non-existent weekend number 3.

P.S. If you are able to attain weekend number 3, I would like to propose that I pay you to come to my home and help me to attain it. Please respond A.S.A.P.

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