Well, today I am feeling better than yesterday. I feel badly about venting about the Devil's Playground, but now that I have, I feel better about it. DH and I have talked about MySpace recently, and he really played down how much time he spends on it. I think that's part of what bothers me. I have been trying to pay more attention to him lately. But it hasn't stopped it. When I think deep down, I realize that it really isn't an issue, except one with my jealousy and perhaps double standards. I mean, it's okay for me to participate in HNT. Husband knows and doesn't mind. He sees comments that other guys leave for me. I leave comments for other guys AND girls and if their photo looks nice I say so. I am not shy. There really isn't any reason that he can't look (as long as he doesn't touch!)
So I think I need to get rid of that double standard in my head that says it's okay for me to see a hot 19 year old guy but not okay for him to see a hot 19 year old girl. I think it's society's pedophile fear that freaks us all out. It's like that episode of South Park when the teacher has sex with Ike, her student. The cops are like "Where is he?!" and then when they learn the teacher is a woman, and a hot one at that, they are like SwEET! It's interesting to me that "Hot for Teacher" doesn't work both ways. Now I am not advocating sleeping with underage kids or anything, I am just trying to be fair and put into perspective. And I know I don't have to worry about DH with anyone underage or younger. After 10 years I know him pretty well. But at the same time, I think that seeing him make comments to a 19 year old about her pretty eyes makes me feel insecure. But really it shouldn't. He tells me I am pretty all the time.
I have always been a very open, honest and outgoing person. I have had more guy friends since day 1, and husband has dealt with that fabulously, I can't even fill one hand with the instances of jealousy he has had. He trusts me. When 5 guys came over with a case of beer and said "we are here to take your girlfriend to the strip club" he said have a great time" and wasn't even the least but upset. I love that about him. He trusts me and he deserves the same trust from me. I recall many times we would go to the bar and he didn't dance, but I would go out there and dance with all kinds of guys, and my male friends would all grind on me and make me into a sandwich, and he would just watch and laugh with his beer in his hand. He's much more easygoing than I am. And it's not because he doesn't care. It's because he loves me and trusts me and wants me to be happy and have fun. I owe him the same.
P.S. Thanks for all your comments on the last post. I appreciate your support!
2 comments:
Meagan you are so sweet!
Good for you lovely! I'm glad you are feeling better and I'm glad that you are honest and can tell us the whole story and not hold back. Its a great attribute to have so good for you!
Why not treat yourselves tonight?Its Thursday remember - date night! Hubbie is collecting me in an hour and we're going out for dinner and a movie. I may even let him share my popcorn (ha!)
Lorra love to you
Millie x x x
You are a very giving person Meagan. I don't know that I would understand my husband commenting on the looks of various young women in our area. Especially when it is narrowed down to that search criteria. It is much different (I think) to make a comment about somebody's blog or photos on something else because you are not limiting yourself to specific criteria (e.g. all hot guys that resemble Johnny Depp and live in Illinois). You are commenting on all sorts of people! Call me the older married woman here, but sometimes the husband's "100% trust" in the wife is because he doesn't want the wife to not trust him. Don't want to rain on the parade or anything, just don't want you to get hurt either. You are an extremely giving/forgiving person and so committed to your marriage and deserve nothing but the best all of the time. :)
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