Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Oh..... Mylanta

Still broke. And after adding up what I have to pay for this week, things are looking negative. Yikes! NEGATIVE people! as in "in the red" as in "bounced checks!" damn. Car insurance. Need gas in my car. The light has been on for three trips to Princeton and back.



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Well, another good and interesting development. Haleigh Anne was going to buy the same table as me since she saw it on the blog, but when she tried to order she was told it isn't available, which is very sad but makes since because they were clearing it out and I had to wait for mine on backorder. Well, since mine came yesterday, husband attempted to put it together last night. He got one chair put together, and it took one hour. So all the chairs will probably take 4 hours. He decided to do one chair and then the table, to make sure it's what we want. And when he went to put the table together, it was cracked. As in "un-put-together-able." (word of the day.)

So I called JC Penney and of course got this "customer service" guy that had NO idea what to do. It took him 15 minutes to put my contact information into the computer (although it's already In there?) so that they can look into it and call me back in 1-2 business days. Um. Okay. I told the guy... husband tore the box open to get the table and chairs out and it isn't salvageable. We don't have a box big enough to send this all back in, and we CERTAINLY are not taking apart the chairs to send them back if we need to exchange, and then reassembling 4 new chairs. No fucking way. So basically I gave them the option to send us a whole new set and we keep the 4 chairs we have, or send a replacement table top. And he was like "uh, errr, ahhh" as in he had no clue. So I am wondering if because it isn't available anymore that perhaps I will never get the table and we will have to somehow send all that crap back. And of course it will probably take 956 days and 43 billing cycles to get the money back, because that's how corporate america operates, and then they will only want to give it to me on a gift card (because my money is theirs, ya know?) The ol "store credit" scam.

So we have a cracked table and 1 put together chair in the dining room.

Last night I also shredded zucchini for the chocolate zucchini cake. I got to use my new slicer/shredder attachment for the kitchen aide mixer. Since I stopped cooking I haven't gotten to use it at all, and I have probably only used the mixer a handfull of times in the past year. So it was cool to get it out and work with it a while. I also made taco dip, the kind with ground beef, seasonings, velveeta cheese, salsa, and rice. It was yummy, and that's what I had for supper last night. Do I regret it today? mildly. not as much as I regretted it last night. I should mention that I love Mylanta. I have always loved Mylanta. Since I was a teenager, it was my medicine of choice, and then a good friend and employer of mine showed me a trick that would go with me for the rest of my life. He always keeps his mylanta in the fridge. Nothing goes down and soothes your stomach like cold minty mylanta. He also taught me that there's no need to measure the pesky tablespoons. Just grab the bottle from the fridge and take a drink.

Since I have lived on my own, I somehow got thinking (I think it was my husband) that Tums were the answer. And they came out with the smooth dissolve tums, and the cool relief tums, and I love them, and I always called the Cool Relief ones "Cool Ranch Tums" like doritos. And my dog Boyd became a Tums addict. He loves tums. He could be 5 counties away, and if he hears the rattle of the tums bottle or the snap of the lid, he comes trotting in to get one. Once he got ahold of the bottle off the nightstand and ate the lid off. He was drooling all down into the bottle and they all stuck together. We labeled those as Boyd's tums and he ate the rest of the bottle over time.

Well, I get tired of eating tums and having them last like 5 minutes. And then, a miracle happened. Mylanta came out with their original cool mint formula, all over again. It was like I was reunited with a long lost love. Oh.... Mylanta! And now, it's minty freshness resides on the top shelf of the fridge. I am sure that nothing is hotter to a husband than a wife with white chalky lips.... right? So last night after eating a big bowl of taco dip for supper, I had two doses of mylanta chased with water and spaced about two hours apart. And I was miraculously able to sleep horizontally without dying of heartburn or stomachache. I am not saying I felt GOOD but I did make it. Thank You Mylanta. I missed you so. Now it's time to buy one for my work refrigerator. Along with the new bottle of Tylenol Cough and Sore Throat with Instant Cool Burst Sensation that I store in my work fridge in preparation for my annual bought with strep throat.

As far as fungus goes, we have never had mushrooms in our yard in town. But this year, we have a bunch of them suddenly growing in the front yard. I was all excited "faerie ring, faerie ring!" but the damn things just won't grow in a ring. Sill faeries. I keep waiting for a dog to eat them and get sick, but they seem to steer clear of them. Anyone know what kind of mushrooms these are?

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2 comments:

Wenchy said...

Those things look a tad obscene...

dazed said...

just a tad. LOL.

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