Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Tumble Dry Low

For Sale: Husband. Slightly Used. Comes with Maytag Clothes Dryer. Gas (husband and dryer)

Just kidding.

Husband is not for sale. He is mine. In all of his glory.

But I do want to talk about clothes dryers. Silly, I know. But it will distract me from my cranky mood.

I noticed during a potty break that the tag in my underwear says "Tumble dry low. Remove Promptly." Now, when it comes to say, good clothing, khaki pants, button down shirts... Curtains perhaps.... I understand the term "remove promptly." It translates (clearly) to
"get your lazy ass to the laundry room and hang up all those clothes or you will
just have to rewash them."

I know. I have, many many times, forgotten or plain PRETENDED to forget clothes in the dryer. I hate hanging up clothes. On an average Sunday I go approximately 8-12 loads of laundry. For two people. Seriously. I am no stranger to laundry. On a BAD weekend, when I have been away of unavailable the weekend before, the count increases to 14-20 loads. Why? Let's just put it politely and say that some people in my household feel the need to wear several outfits each day. We won't name any names.

Now why in the world, is it a concern for my to leave 100% cotten Victoria's Secret underwear in the dryer? So what if I don't remove them promptly? They will get Wrinkled! Oh for shame! I would have to iron my undies! But wait! It doesn't say on the tag what iron setting I should use when ironing my underwear! Oh the drama. I can't imagine being concerned that your undies look wrinkled. It's not like they won't lie flat on your ass or anything. What a waste of tag space. They are able to fit on the tab that my undies are made in Jordan. So Victoria's Secret isn't making sexy briefs in the good 'ol USA. Bummer.

The more I thought about the Tumble dry low thing, I started to think if I have ever seen anything that said "Tumble Dry High." Ummmm.... nope. So then I started to think- WHY do they even make different settings on the dryer? I have no freaking clue what they are for. Maybe I need some dryer education. I know ALL about the settings on my washer, but my drier.... I only use one setting. And if I don't use that setting it's because it's bras and sweaters and I am doing the "hang dry" or "Lie flat to dry" thing. Which makes me want the new dryer with the sweater racks inside. But if the dryer was tall and not waist high, where would I pile all the clean clothes? Where would I sit when folding underwear? WHERE would all the mismatched socks sit while they wait for their mate?
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