Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Halloween Rant

Trick or Treat! Okay, honestly... I hated Halloween this year. Hated. Passionately. It sucked. Did I mention that Halloween and Thanksgiving are my favorite holidays? And that fall is my favorite season? And that I am not enjoying fall much at all this year? Sometimes having a new baby can really suck. I am just being honest. I am just telling you the stuff that they don't tell you about having a new baby. For the first time in exactly 28 years, I didn't have a Halloween Costume to wear. I also just didn't have fun. Ardyn was really too small to have a costume, at least that was my opinion, and I am super glad I didn't buy one, because she would have been too pissed to go to the Halloween party, and she would have shit in it. Seriously. And what does my husband do? Leaves me. Home alone. On Halloween. To hand out candy with a baby who was cranky all day long and who was cranky all night too. I think her tummy is upset because in the middle of handing out candy, amidst a crying fit, she pooped Massively and I knew right away that it was a diaper blowout. I had to turn the porch lights off so that trick-or-treaters would stop coming for a while so that I could go change her She pooped right through her black tights and black spider onesie. Poor Kid. I wish I could say she felt better after that, but apparently she just felt hungry, because she cried ferociously until I breastfed her, on the porch, while handing out candy. I covered up with a blanket and everything, but it was at that moment that I was envisioning my husband's balls on a wall plaque. Really. Did it seem like it was okay to leave your wife and almost 2 month old daughter home alone to hand out candy when the baby wasn't feeling well? I guess it's probably MY fault because anyone in their right mind would have not handed out candy at all. But I am not in my right mind. And every time someone said "where's Evan?" I had to breathe deeply before I answered.

And another thing. I hate how Halloween has changed. Firstly, it's a huge deal that everyone can't hand out homemade treats. And I understand. I get it. But instead we have to pay money to the man to buy all this pre-packaged Halloween Candy and no kids of mine will ever know what it's like to go trick-or-treating and come home with taffy apples, popcorn balls, caramel corn, chex mix, and rice krispy squares. And that seems like a huge deal to me. And I really hate that every parent drives along the road in the van and opens the door at each house and lets their kids in and out. When I was little we walked the whole damn town. And if we got tired, well then it was in exact proportion to the amount of candy that we really needed. And we went to the house of people we knew when we were small. We might only go 5 places, but really, how much candy does a 2 year old NEED? It's become more about the parents than the kids. A parental show-off of their costumes in some cases, and a parental "too lazy to walk" in another. I can understand if you have kids of all different ages and you have one that's small and in a car seat. But if they are too little to trick or treat, can't a grandparent come over and watch the smaller one while you take out the older. I don't know. It's not a big deal, but someone else pointed out to me how there were hardly any kids and parents walking.

The highlight of my night was Jamie and Amy with Bryson. They were literally close to the only people I knew who came to my house. I probably scared everyone away as the crazy breastfeeding woman on the corner. I did joke that I would use the boobs to scare away those kids that were too old to Trick Or Treat. And let me clarify that "too old" to me is when you are too damn lazy to get a costume together. I am sick of seeing kids in their basketball uniform from school, or the one kid who just had on a Grey sweatsuit. I was like "mouse?" That's when it's time to stay home. Or get a job.

Well, this ends my bitter Halloween Rant.

I think we are going to run to Wal-Mart to get a couple of plastic totes. Today I went through Ardyn's clothes and split them up by sizes, and I need two more totes to get them all correctly sectioned off. She's finally starting to grow out of some newborn clothes, so I need to get a tote ready for Newborn and 0-3 clothes too.

Gotta go, she's screaming. What else is new, huh? Did I mention that I think that HUSBANDS cause post-partum depression? Oh that's not FAIR... is it???

Down with the Sickness

I should be in bed. I should be in bed.

1am. Told you.

In all fairness, I spent from 8:50 till 9:30 getting Ardyn ready for bed, nursing her to sleep, and putting her in bed. And then I spent 9:30 till 11:45.... putting her to bed. Again. And Again. And Again. Shushing. Nursing. Popping the pacifier back in her mouth. Rocking. Jiggling. Bouncing. Walking. Talking quietly and reassuringly.

Then I drank a cup of tea and finally finished the magazine that I started to flip through at 1:00 this afternoon. And I didn't read anything. Just flipped through it.

Then I went through a bag of clothes that I had bought at a garage sale a while back, all size 3 months to 2T... took off the tags (which they STAPLED to the clothes thanks) and placing them in the hamper along with the tote full of 3-6 months clothes that I went through today that a friend sent me.

I also scrubbed out the car seat and soaked a sleeper that had more poop in it than the diaper did. When grabbing some food at a restaurant this evening, Ardyn had a major blowout in her carseat, leaked out the diaper, through the sleeper, and all over everything, clear down to her little toes. That was a fun cleanup. Wipes head to toe in the bathroom that HAS no changing station. Yep.

Then I went down and did a few loads of laundry, and was down there so long that I literally got three loads done... because I was CLEANING the laundry room that is horribly terrible. I hate the laundry room. No one that lives here ever puts clothes away. Ever. It's a nightmare. We live out of the laundry room. Except Ardyn. I am too particular about her stuff.

Then I refilled my pill case. Then I sterilized breast pump parts, bottles, and pacifiers in the micro-steamer. Then I called my husband, who is so so so so sick that when he went to McDonalds at 11:30pm he never came home. But he is so so so sick that he complains every 4 seconds. And the cold that he has- Ardyn and I had first. And I was operating for a week with the same cold and in addition a sore throat, with an average of 2-4 hours of sleep a night for that entire week, and also taking care of a sick baby who couldn't breathe. And suctioning her nose out while she screamed every single hour during every single night. And that. Sucked. And no one else cared. And he is so so so sick. So sick that he told me he would just have to lay around tonight and be on the couch. And now he's missing. That's how sick he is. Very sick. I feel bad for him. Really bad. So bad that I might wait by the door with a frying pan to put him out of his misery.

The husband and I got flu shots today too. I was a big girl. I got a candy bar from the plastic pumpkin when I was done. I stood still. I didn't cry. It didn't even hurt. I have never had a flu shot in my entire life. I work in healthcare and they offer them free to us each year as employees because we are around sickness and disease and INFLUENZA! I never get one. And this year, even though I hate needles, I got one. For my daughterThe things you do for your kids. Now I know all abut what my mom always told me. But the shot was nothing. Because once you work in a hospital and have blood drawn on a regular basis and then go through labor and childbirth and an epidural and 6 tries to get an IV into your veins and a tear in your undercarriage followed by a postpartum hemorrhoid.... a little flu shot seems awfully petty and small.

Well, if my arms wouldn't just get tired from holding that frying pan over my head in anticipation, I might just stay up even longer. But I am all out of electricity and it's time for this mom to recharge. But by the time I get the dangerously broken out face washed and toned and moisturized with the proactiv trial kit and put some chapstick on and a sleeping bra... I assume that it will be 2am. Another thing I figure. I might not ever sleep without a bra again. As long as I live. When I was little my grandma told me that if I wanted to keep perky breasts I would have to wear a bra every night. I was like "Uh. no." but now it's all about keeping the leaking at bay. Which I almost never leak. But the night I don't wear a bra and breast pads to bed is the night I will wake up swimming in warm milk. And that's just wasteful. By the time I get done nursing babe #1, I am sure to be well on my way to babe #2... and so on, and so forth. Evan says five kids. I say "great. where do we put them and who pays for daycare? And who takes care of them when I go crazy?" He says they are stackable.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Told You So

See, I told you I can't make myself sleep before 1am! Damn! Ardyn went to sleep at 9pm. At 10pm I looked at Evan and said "I am so tired!" at 10:45 I swore I was going to bed in 15 minutes. Now it's quarter till 1. I am really going to bed. I did get 4 ounces pumped and added to the freezer stash. I shopped online and did research on a few kids/baby products that I have been looking at. I restored my laptop to a few weeks ago, before my iTunes decided to give me an error and not open. I did loads of laundry. I drank Tastefully Simple's Chai Tea, setting off the smoke detector when boiling water (yep.)

I looked through two catalogs, but still have 5 new magazines that I haven't cracked the covers on. Martha Stewart Living, Midwest Living, Parents, Mothering, and Baby Talk. Oh make that 6. Brain Child Magazine too. I put away 4 pair of baby tights and all of Ardyn's clean laundry. Why is it that baby laundry is so stinkin fun to wash and fold? I love it. I had a onesie that was soft turquoise and it had a poo stain. I washed it 5 times before I got it to come out. I soaked it twice in OxiClean baby. Spot treated it once with Spray and Wash, Once with a stain stick, and once with color safe Clorox Bleach. I checked it after each wash and never dried it, just kept on washing it in various cycles and with various stain treatments or combinations until FINALLY the stain is gone. Whew! And it was like a $5 onesie, and I probably spent like $12 in stain treatments and time trying to get the stain out. Mom conquers poo stain!

I have really begun to wonder where my exchange order from Motherwear is at. I had Evan mail the return like 3 weeks ago and still haven't seen my exchanged merchandise. I have a sickening feeling that maybe it got lost in the mail? I hope not because there was about $86 in merchandise in that return. I bet Evan didn't insure it because I didn't specify that it needed to BE insured because I never even really thought about it. I hope that they have received it and are just slow in the processing. Ugh. It just makes me sick to think it could be lost! I could use more than the three nursing shirts that I tend to wear everywhere. They came in handy last week when we nursed in the middle of the SouthPark Mall in Moline twice, and in the men's section of Von Maur. They keep everything neatly covered.

Okay, enough freakish brain activity. It's 12:50am. WAY past bedtime!

Monday, October 29, 2007

Blue Balls

Sorry I am a bit behind here! Ardyn is getting better with a schedule... all on her own. Now she has an actual "bedtime" and she is sleeping about 10-11 hours each night, 7-8 hours straight and then eating and sleeping for a few more. That is nice. Now I just need to make myself go to bed before 2am, but I am so excited to have a moment to myself and be able to accomplish something, that I haven't forced myself to bed before 1am yet. Baby steps. She is also taking an afternoon nap that amounts to about 2.5 hours each day, which is nice. If we go somewhere, she sleeps on the road, otherwise I might get some time to do laundry and dishes, etc at home. Also nice. Of course, just when a shedule starts to happen, I will be going back to work. December. That's the target back to work month. Mid December. I am working on freezing 4 ounce bottles of breastmilk and giving up Ardyn in little doses, like when Evan took her with him for an hour yesterday. It was the BEST and strangest feeling! It was only the second time I had ever been away from her in two months. Neat. I did laundry. And Dishes. I vowed to paint my toes, but no such accomplishment happened.

New on the homefront? Boyd has a tumor. Worse this time. If you remember back in 2005 he had a colon polyp that we had surgically removed. Now it's a full blown tumor. Cancerous? We are unsure. We need to have it removed before it blocks him up and he can't poo.... the vet has referred us to a animal surgeon in Rockford who can remove the tumor with laser surgery, because it's now wrapped around his colon. Ugh. Evan took Boyd to the vet Saturday morning and had to tell me the news later that day. I got some serious teary eyes, because it's a difficult decision to determine if you want to treat it, if you want to know if it's cancer, and hoe much money you will spend before you determine that it's better not to spend. It's a bunch of decisions that I never wanted to make. But I knew it was coming. He is almost 11 years old. So this week I make myself a dentist appointment, and reservations for dinner out on my Birthday, and call the vet to see when we can get in up at Rockford to have a consultation. Evan thinks that we should take Ardyn with us. I thought that was a bad idea, but then he commented that it's a long trip, and will be a long day, and she will need to eat, and I realized that and also decided that it might be nice to have someone so small and sweet to take my mind off the fact that my very first baby might be dying of cancer and that I have to make the decision as to whether or not we can afford to deal with it. Honestly, I don't want to know if it's cancer because if it is, we won't treat it. I assume that if we can afford the surgery we will have the tumor removed and see if it grows back or not. Hopefully it won't and he can have another good 5 years of life. The vet in Walnut, who I trust and has tons of experience, tells us that he thinks it isn't cancerous based on the way it feels, which is what he told us about the polyp a couple of years back.

So besides that, let's see... Friday night mom and liz came over and we ate from Main Street BBQ in Wyanet. I love it there, but again (it happened once before) they forgot to include BBQ sauce in any of our meals, tartar sauce for my mom's catfish... etc. So we had to go back up in the rain and get the sauces. While our food sat at home getting cold. That was annoying. Mom brought over cupcakes. I carved a pumpkin that turned out TERRIBLY. Evan brought down fall decorations and I decorated for Thanksgiving. We didn't get Halloween Accomplished this year. Too much going on. Saturday, Evan and I went out for dinner at Red Lobster, and took Ardyn. She was very well behaved. We also went to Bergners where Ardyn got a Thanksgiving Bib and Evan got his winter coat at 50% off. I also got a couple of blazers and a dress off the clearance racks, and I was astounded to see that I am down 1-2 sizes smaller than I was before I got pregnant. That was awesome to try on things and have them all fit instantly. Neat-o.

Sunday we hung out around home. Evan took Ardyn to his parents for a while and I stayed home ALONE! Today Ardyn and I went to Princeton, ate lunch at Quizno's, visited my hairdresser Kelly and made an appointment for December, and washed my car. Then we went to Wal-Mart and bought a birthday gift for one of my co-workers, as I had her name in our yearly drawing. I came home, wrapped it up, and put the load of towels in the dryer with the new dryer balls that I bought at the mart. interested to see how those work. Planning on using them on baby clothes since you can't use fabric softener, and hoping that they help them from sticking together as they do.

So that's really it. I have a ton going on in the next few weeks, everything from a Computer User Group Meeting, Trick or Treat, Flu Shots for Evan and I, A Visit with my Endocrinologist in Peoria, a Dentist Appointment for a routine cleaning, a hair appointment, Ardyn's 2 month vaccinations, Dinner out for my birthday, my work Christmas Party, two days of testing out the daycare we have chosen for Ardyn, Taking all my stuff back to my office (including my mini fridge) in preparation for returning to work, Pictures at Sears on Ardyn's 3 month "birthday" that we will use for Christmas Cards, preparing to host thanksgiving at our house, A Card Making Class, and a Vet Appointment for Boyd. So if you don't see much blogging, apologies, but it's about to get hectic!

Thursday, October 25, 2007



Fuck! Couch!

Well today was a LONG day. We shopped with Evan's mom all day, and I am exhausted. Ardyn just finally went to sleep around midnight and I just finished up a couple of things that I needed to accomplish. I have plenty to write about, but I need SLEEP!

But just a highlight:
1. Cute Clothes for Ardyn from Old Navy, Babies R Us, and The Children's Place
2. A new hairbrush (pink ribbon) from Chi, a headband, and a hair clip for me
3. Lunch at Miss Mamie's Catfish House in Moline
4. Nursing in the middle of the mall twice and in a comfy chair between men's and lingerie in Von Mauer.
5. Tivo-ing Cassanova with Heath Ledger (yum)
6. Proactiv is working. My face is almost clear after 2 weeks of use. I have terrible cystic acne as a side effect of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and apparently it is tons worse after pregnancy and during breastfeeding because my hormones. It spreads to me neck, chest, shoulders and back, and is so painful and widespread that it hurts to wear a bra. Since the proactive is working on my face, I am now buying their body clear kit and starting that ASAP.
7. A strange stranger left me an Anonymous comment on my blog. The moral of the story was that they will never be back here again because I use "filthy language" and that I talk that way because it's the only way I think I can get attention. Ha. Sounds like a catholic grandma is reading my blog now. But we will never know because they made it clear that they won't be back. Ha. Is that a threat? I hate to say it, but my mouth is much filthier when no one is around to hear me. And when it comes to "bad words", I often think of the phrase "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." because no matter which word is deemed to be "bad", that word could just as easily be any other clean word in the english language. I think I am going to take after one of Evan's grandma's and make up my own "clean" words that I intend to use as dirty words. So like, instead of fuck, I will say "couch!" and anyone who knows me will know that's my word for fuck. Or I could just say fuck. It would be easier, wouldn't it? Besides, I only have like 6 months before I can't say fuck in front of my daughter anymore, so shouldn't I enjoy it while it lasts. Fuck Yeah!
8. Reese's makes cookies. Yes it is as good as it sounds. But they are rich. And not like the Darlings (if you get that then you have to comment. I totally love Dirty Sexy Money.)
9. Ardyn got a new toy this week. The "Go Baby Go Kickin' Bobbin' Gym" and she LOVES it.
10. If I win the lottery I will buy a brand new van. And I will still use Michelle's Husband's Discount, and I will buy her a van to thank them. (this is the big lottery I mean. Like millions.)
11. I woke up with a sore throat. I thought that was so over.
12. Carving pumpkins Friday night?
13. Dogs got Rawhide bones. Now they are leaving me alone.
14. Ate four more reese's cookies while typing this. Have to sleep so I will stop!

Sunday, October 21, 2007


My neighbor's lawn mower has been running. For almost 35 minutes. Not mowing. Not moving. No one on it. No one near it. Just sitting in their yard. Running. Yeah. The courteousness astounds me. It's about 1:30 in the afternoon. It's quiet in the neighborhood. Ardyn is napping on the loveseat, so that I can see her from the kitchen. I am rinsing dishes, loading the dishwasher, putting away canned goods, cleaning countertops off, preparing for tomorrow's cleaning people. I am browning hamburger to make Manwich for lunch. I think "it's nice outside" and I open the back door and the kitchen windows. I nice fall breeze comes in. It's lovely. LITERALLY two seconds later, the neighbor kid starts up his riding mower. And proceeds to ride it. Around the yard. Not mowing. Just riding. Yes. Courteous. The baby moans and stretches and I quickly and quietly shut the windows. So much for a nice fall breeze. She can pretty much sleep through anything, but we are at the end of her nap when she moans and stretches for about an hour before coming to life again, and I want to prolong that time long enough to eat lunch and finish my project. So then neighbor kid proceeds to pull the mower alongside his old jalopy and park it. Running. for 30 minutes. I am like "What. The. Fuck." and then suddenly, I see that he is JUMP STARTING? his jalopy, with his lawn mower. Then he drives loud jalopy around the yard. Then he rides the mower around the yard. Alot. Hopefully he is done soon and I can open windows and enjoy the day while I pick up and Organize.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Eleven Years Ago Today....

I don't think it's a good idea to go and put two different flavors of doritos in one bag. I'm just sayin. Stupid Idea. If I want to mix the shit up I can buy two bags and do it my damn self. But I wouldn't do it. Because that's stupid.

Well, at 9:30 this morning I got my wish, and Ardyn and I both got to go back to sleep. We slept all the way till 1pm and when I woke up I felt like a different person. She slept in her swing and I slept right next to her on the couch, and I think we both felt tons better. Evan's dad called and we went over to visit them in the afternoon. Ardyn was good. She played in their pack n play. We have pictures on Flickr. She's really doing well and holding up her head now, and straightening her legs and standing up while supported. It's exciting to see her learning more things... and she can see you from farther away now than she could before. She loves it when Evan "eats her feet" through her jammies, she gets to kicking them and laughing and smiling.

This evening Ardyn and I went on a walk around town. We stopped at Josh and Lisa's for a chat. We saw my cousin Jim and he stopped to see us. When we got home I sat out on the steps for a while as she slept in her stroller. Then I ate leftover chili from earlier in the week, and loaded it up with cheese curds and oyster crackers for a melty crunchy good meal. Evan got home and we hung up the pictures of Ardyn that we had bought from her Sears photo shoot... and they look super super cute in our bedroom, adjacent to the wall that has our wedding pictures and marriage certificate from Vancouver.

Today is our "eleven year" dating anniversary. Eleven years ago today, Evan asked me to be his girlfriend, which was a relief after a few months of dating. I think that we had gone on our first date over the summer, when he got back from France. We had been wanting to date for a few months even before that... but it didn't happen. So eleven straight years of being together. Pretty neat, huh? So even though we have only been married for two years, we have been together much longer than that. And now we have Ardyn!

I will also be posting an update soon... I heard back from the manufacturers of the Halo Sleep Sacks... and I have a cool little bit to share about that...

Have a nice night!

Good Morning!

Ick. Still Sick. Today feels worse. For me I am sure, for Ardyn I am pretty sure. She seems to be in pretty good spirits this morning, but her nose was sure stuffy until I sucked it out a couple of times. Up early again. This is a good thing, but it doesn't feel like it when you are sick and sleep deprived. We rocked in the nursery for a while, and nursed quite a bit. She's eaten four times in 1.5 hours, which I am happy about because her diaper was almost dry this morning and that's not good for a 5.5 hour overnight stretch. I don't want her getting dehydrated. I kept getting sleepier with each sway of the glider so we moved to the living room with the Nurse's Kit and Kleenex, and I am making hot tea and Organic Cinnamon Bun Oatmeal from the Country Lane General Store in Tampico. Yum. Ardyn is in her swing and I was *hoping* that it would put her to sleep so we could both nap for a while... but she is looking wide awake. At least she's happy. Here's hoping I get a nap today, and sooner than later. I know she will nap sometime, but it can be hard waiting for it, especially when you are sick!

I am becoming a fantastic songwriter. This morning we sang....

Mommy and Ardyn
We both feel sick
Stuffy nose and sore throat
treat us with vicks
If we had our way
We'd eat soup all day
And then we'd take a nap
Cuz we feel like crap
Mommy and Ardyn

Friday, October 19, 2007

Saline Spray for Everyone!

We. Are Sick. Ardyn and I. Headcolds. Eeww. Snot. Stuffy Noses. Raw throats. Chapped Lips. Dry Nostrils. Headaches. Sleepiness.

I had been noticing a bit of stuffiness or runny-nose-edness since about Wednesday, but as a mom, I really didn't notice. I was too busy taking care of business around home and with Ardyn. I first actually noticed it when I was watching the video clip that I took of Ardyn's room, and I was sniffing on the video. I was like... Hmmm. Sounds like I am coming down with something... and as I stopped to think about it, I realized that I was. Had Been. Never Noticed. But Ardyn had been doing some serious sleeping the past two days and nights. Never acted like she wasn't feeling well. But sleepy. She had a few coughing episodes that sounded pretty scary, but it was like she was clearing her throat of a tickle or something.

Last night, okay, this morning at 4am, she woke up (an hour after I had gone to sleep) and was having a hard time breathing, sounded stuffy, etc. Of course then I couldn't sleep because not only was I worried about her, but I also sounded stuffy and was having a hard time breathing. So we got up, and I was worried that she wouldn't be able to breathe in her sleep and I would have to stay awake for another 20 hours, making it a 40 hour run... to make sure she was breathing. Well, luckily, while pregnant, I took the advice of two parenting magazines and stocked up early on infant and child medicine... and in my trusty Apothecary Jar I found a virtual cocktail of medicines... like Baby Vicks, Little Noses Saline Drops, and Infant Tylenol and Motrin. Well, Baby Vicks is only good for babies 3 months and older. Scratch that. Tylenol and Motrin... well she had no fever (thanks to the temporal thermometer I bought when she was 5 days old and had an eye infection) and of course the box said under 2 years only under the advice of a physician... So tell me again why they call it INFANT Tylenol? Argh. But Saline Drops... Those were the ticket. Then I sent poor Evan on a 5am bleary trip through unpacked hospital goody bags to find the blue bulb aspirator. I had never done this before, and had actually thought like 4 times in the past month that I should ask someone or google it, in case I needed it in just this type of situation. But I had taken Saline Nasal Spray myself during pregnancy for crazy ass congestion... and I still had mine... so I started us both on a saline nasal regime. I decided with common sense to give her the saline drops, then use the aspirator, and I did this before feedings and when she sounded stuffy and uncomfortable. I also plugged in the Vicks Waterless Vaporizer that my midwife recommended I buy during pregnancy for congestion, and turned our bedroom into a soothing vapor chamber. The two of us make quite the pair, what me with my toilet paper roll and Ardyn with her cloth diaper burp/snot rag combo.

This morning I called the Dr. to make sure that I was doing the right thing, and to ask what I should watch for that warranted a Dr. visit for Ardyn. Seems like I was already on the right path what with just my instincts to guide me. And then this evening I remembered that I have the AAP Childcare Guide and I got that out and read about headcolds and found that I was so right on target. It was great. So we have been watching her temperature, she did have a very slight one this evening at about 99.5 but besides that one hour or so, she has remained in the 98 degree range. Today she and I wore our pajamas and lay around. I drank fluids and she nursed as often as she could get a hold of a nipple. We got into a regime of Saline Drops. Evan went to Wal-Mart and came back with REAL Kleenex with Lotion, more Newborn Diapers (tiny thing!), Chicken Soup, and Gatorade. He thought it was so cute that I have this basket that I carry around all of our necessities from room to room, depending on if we are in her rocking chair, in our bed, or in the living room on the couch. He calls it "Mom's Nurse Kit" and tells Ardyn that she has the best mommy ever. I just keep washing my hands and blowing my nose and washing my hands and blowing my nose. Chapstick. Purell. Gatorade. Saline. Repeat.

That said, let's talk about Yesterday. Pre-sickness. Evan, Ardyn, and I went on an outing. We got dressed and went to the hospital to pick up my newest prescription- Birth Control Pills! Yes, welcome to the mini-pill. Evan is especially thrilled that it has a higher chance of failure than my previous pills, if not taken at the same time each day. He's hoping that I will slip up and forget one so that he can make another baby ASAP.

After picking up the prescription, we had a nice lunch at Quizno's, since it's new to Princeton. Then we went to the Corner Coffee Shop that's new in the same building. They had some really neat journals like I have used for years, and a "Questions I have Been Meaning to Ask Mom" book, but nothing had prices on it. Strange. I wasn't about to ask them the price of everything I picked up. Hopefully they will get that together. They also had ice cream and coffee, tea, etc... which I plan to return to try later.

We then drove out to City/County Park and took some photos in the leaves with Ardyn (check them all out on Flickr) and then she had a big meal in the car. We then went to the Sherwood Antique mall and walked around until I was so exhausted I wanted to go to bed. On the way home we stopped at Browning and looked at the New '08 Dodge Grand Caravan. Which I love. And I can. Drive a Van. I have a brochure that I sit and ogle now. I want a brilliant black pearl clearcoat van. I love the New Stow and Go Swivel Seats. Awesome.

The options on this thing are amazing, with built in retractable window shades, Dual TV Screens that get Sirius TV (on the go Nickelodeon and Disney Channel), ACTUAL power outlets, TONS of cupholders and mesh pockets, a rechargeable docking flashlight, a Center Table that stows in the back when not in use, a drop down mirror to view passengers from the driver's seat, all power open sliding side doors and back hatch, side roll-down windows... It's crazy nice. There is a center console that slides from the front to between the first two captain chairs, so anyone can use it as a table, storage area, or cupholders. And beneath it is a charging station for anything with a car adapter. Cell Phones, etc. MP3 Player integration in there is just SCREAMING for my iPod. Interior Reading Lights and Blue Interior Running Lights (which I would have called Sex lights in High School. Who says we can't have crazy sex in the van I guess. Someday. Riiight.) Dual Glove Boxes. Optional GPS Navigation Screen System that also doubles as a THIRD TV/DVD Screen. Multi-Climate Control. Split Folding Third Row Seat. Someday.

So after we got home last night I was exhausted and went right into my pajamas and parked on the couch with Ardyn for a nightlong nursing and TV Marathon. We watched Grey's Anatomy, Dirty Sexy Money, and a few other things from the TIVO. Tonight my mom came over and we uploaded photos to Wal-Mart to place an order for her, and looked up things like Pre-Lit Hinged Christmas Trees and Diabetes Physicians on the internet. We ordered some Rust Raze. She held Ardyn while I ate supper (Bacon Cheeseburger, Fried Mushrooms, and Fried Pickles from 6&34) and while I took a shower. Ardyn went to sleep and has been awake three times in the past 40 minutes, and now she is "awake awake" for what appears to be a while... so maybe more tomorrow. Have a nice night!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Video Baby

Well, I spent some time last night trying to upload video to the blog, but for some reason I kept getting an error code that I need to report to Blogger. So if you are here for videos of Ardyn, please check Google. Here are the links for the three I have uploaded today.

Obviously I have discovered that it's difficult to remember to use the DVD Cam for all those little moments that someday we will really miss. It's much easier to just crab the digital camera and record with that. Both of our digital cameras record video. I have been using Evan's since she was born, although mine is expensive and has a big zoom, his is expensive but has a bigger viewing screen, and a MUCH smaller size, and it fits in your pocket, in the diaper bag, etc., which is most convenient for us now. So these videos were taken with Evan's Canon Digital Elph.

We were awake bright and early today. Seems like we are on our way to a bit more regular life. Last night she slept for almost 8 hours straight, which means I got about 5.5 hours straight. Nice. She woke up happy, per usual, which enabled me to get some good video of her Smiling. She always has a period of smiling play time in the morning, and I take her into her room and we just sit and interact for an hour or so. She stocks up on milk and I stock up on baby cuddles.

It's nice to actually feel awake and ready to face the world at 7:30am, instead of desperately trying to sleep till eleven or noon without interruptions from local traffic, telephone calls, dogs barking, or visitors. She slept most of yesterday afternoon and evening, so I was sure it was going to be a long night. Apparently she was just tired! It was overcast too so I am sure that didn't help. I know it made me tired.

Monday I made Chili and Ghiradelli Brownies. Tuesday was my 6 week postpartum checkup and all is well. I also got a pap so it was like a double whammy. Two for the price of one. Ardyn and Evan watched. LOL. It's a family affair now. It may sound creepy but it's actually nice. To have other people concerned about your health and well being. As opposed to a boyfriend/fiance/husband who just wants sex and doesn't have much of a clue what we have to go through to get Birth Control Pills. And doesn't much care. Not that Evan didn't have any thoughts about getting sex again soon. But on the birth control side, he's just as soon have none and have another baby ASAP. But I enjoy that people actually care how I am feeling and that everything is okay downtown. By now I am just used to people looking at my crotch. Come on in. The more the merrier.

It is much cooler and rainy now. It was almost 70 yesterday, and in the afternoon the rain came through and lasted overnight. This morning it's sunny but VERY windy and everything is wet.
We have been planning on walking, but yesterday the threat of rain was imminent, and I didn't want to be caught out in the rain at all, let alone with a stroller. Today it seems so windy, I feel like I would have to put her in a super suit.... although her stroller closes up completely so it's not like I couldn't protect her from the wind. We will see. It's supposed to be raining today too...

Can I just say "Damn McDonald's Monopoly?" The first time we ate there, Evan said to me "Wow, we have only one more needed to win" and I said "Already?!" and he said "yeah, Boardwalk." Ha. So we haven't won. Yet. But we aren't giving up. Okay, yeah we are.

Ardyn just went down for a little nap. Belly full of milk will put even the strongest of us away for a couple hours. Uploading these little videos takes FOREVER and that's even on a high speed connection. I just got an error uploading the video to blogger again. ARGH!

Another thing. I disappoint myself. Before having kids I told myself that after my child was 1 month old, I would never refer to her in weeks to others. And by others, I don't mean other moms. I mean just people, in public, who ask "how old is she" and as I have spent my life hearing other moms say "She's 243 weeks and 5 days old." Um. No. What the Fuck. That means nothing to me. TELL ME HOW OLD SHE IS IN PEOPLE TERMS. She isn't cheese. We aren't aging her. Maybe it should work like Beer and they should just give a born on date? But here I am, with a child who is 6 weeks old, 3 days. What? How did this happen? Someone (who clearly didn't know their weeks) asked me just this week, and I said "6 weeks" and after it came out I was like ACK! Acky! no No NO! And I heard Evan say "a month and a half" and I was like THAT is more like it! Keep me in line Evan! Save my from motherhood's evil grasp!

So now I have decided that once she reaches 7 weeks, I have to stop. NO more. 6 weeks is one thing, it's a nice even mile-marker. But 7? Absolutely not. The madness must stop now. I don't want to be describing my three year old as 36 months, or even my 2 year old as 24 months. Duh. Of course I don't even want to say my year-and-a-half old is 18 months. No.

But it's hard. Everything in our brains goes by weeks... They start you in pregnancy. Everything is a week. You can't just say "7 months pregnant" to some people. You can't. Other moms are visually deciding if your baby has fingerprints or milk teeth yet, and they need to know WEEKS damn it! But of course so many people have really no idea when they got pregnant, they are just going by the ultrasound or their doctor's estimate. But I KNEW exactly how many weeks. It was cool. But it carries over to baby. It's like everything milestone wise is in weeks. Everything. But I am rebelling. Even if other moms think I am a bad mother and that I don't KNOW How many weeks old my baby is, I swear to you I will do my bestest to shout out her age in months. For the good of mankind. For the sanity of society. And my 1.559 week old daughter. Accuracy knows no bounds.

Well, that's all for today. Off to eat some breakfast and perhaps shower. Or maybe a bath, that sounds much more relaxing.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Damn It.

Damn It., originally uploaded by Dazed81.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

First Time Away in 46 weeks.

Last night was my first time away from Ardyn in the (almost) 6 weeks since she was born. I guess you could say it was the first time I wasn't carrying her around for 46 weeks. Strange, huh? Angie came to visit and my parents watched Ardyn. Angie and I went out to eat Mexican and then to see a movie. We saw Heartbreak Kid with Ben Stiller. The movie was funny. Not as drop-dead must-see funny as I thought Ellen DeGeneres said it was when Ben Stiller was her guest... but as Angie said "I did laugh out loud."

Mexican was awesome. Today I have been faithfully giving Ardyn gas drops since I ate it, because the only time I could visibly tell that something I ate bothered her was after Tacos at 6&34. Just to be on the safe side. Angela and I stopped at Wal-Mart and picked up candy and chocolate, and 1-hour photos, and some bulldog sawtooth hangers to put on the back of the frames I bought to hang Ardyn's Sears photos in. Then we went to Mexican, and I told her "the grim details" of the labor and delivery (at her request) which I am sure was much to the delight of the other patrons in the restaurant. We tried to keep it hush hush. Although I am not worried because I heard another woman there say the word "pre-menstrual" twice. LOL. I think everyone there needed a night out, judging by the margaritas in various rainbow hues. We drove to the mall for the movie, and we got parked. Then I was like "You know, maybe I should pump before the movie?" and I did my customary feel of the boobs to see how full they were (I do this in public quite frequently and sometimes I catch a guy who sees me and I can just tell they are thinking "did that chick just full on grab both of her boobs and squeeze them, or was I dreaming?") The boobs seemed okay. After audibly counting the hours between seeing Ardyn, I said to Angie, "I think I don't need to pump, I will be okay" and then literally, as I opened the car door, I felt milk come in. Damn. Cancel that.

So we were in a well lit parking area as movies were about to change. Angie drove out to a farther away parking area, with only like 2 cars... and of course while I am pumping, the only people parked right in front of us decide to come out, and then spend like the next 10 minutes getting into their car, turning the dome light on, taking various pills, checking their cell phones, turning on their headlights, and Angie was like "Jeez!" But I was all stealth pumper with my jacket covering me. It was the first time I used my ISIS IQ manually... and it was awesome. I was impressed. I got 2 ounces of milk in like 10 minutes... and then on the way home I pumped on the interstate and got another 2 ounces. I was most proud that I brought home as much or more milk than she drank in my absence. Yay! Angela got quite the education tonight, in the words of my mom. LOL. Her ears are probably burning, but she will read this, so I am not worried.

The movie was good. We were too full of Mexican to eat much of the candy and chocolate we smuggled in, but I did manage to eat a theater sized box of raisinets. It was so nice to see Angie. I don't know how to explain it to anyone, but Angie and Carrie and I are like the perfect fit. The three of us can get together and we have exactly the same sense of humor, and things just are great. It was so good to get to feel like me... and to remember who I am instead of just being mom. And when we got home, Ardyn was snoozing. She nursed twice and went to sleep just before 2am, and so did I. She woke up at 6:45 and I fed her and changed her, and then fed her and rocked her to sleep again. By that time it was almost 8am, and the sun was up (although it's overcast today and not sunny) and so I put her back to sleep and proceeded to do very adult things like drink tea, eat oatmeal, read Parents Magazine issues, take a bubble bath, wash breast pump parts and bottles from last night, and pump just over 2 ounces with the Isis IQ Duo. I think the tea is increasing my supply. I have enough to add in pumping sessions very successfully in addition to regular nursing. She also seems to be getting an extra letdown during most nursing sessions, which is super nice and makes me feel like she is getting more hindmilk.

So now it's almost 10am, and Ardyn and Evan are still sleeping, so I get to blog. Oh goody! and I think I will get dressed and maybe do a load of laundry or run the dishwasher. Happiness is. Today.

Monday Ardyn will be 6 weeks old and Tuesday I have my post-partum checkup with my midwife. That reminds me, I need to write down a few things to ask her about.

Friday night was nice too, since my sister came over and then we got out of the house and went to Anya's and saw everyone there. Good weekend!

All it took was a carafe...

Check me out. I am an adult! I know this sounds silly coming from a 28 year old married "woman" with a child... but it's like it just started hitting me this week. I think that this morning I realized it fully, just like two minutes ago. Along with it came the inspiration to blog, just like I used to get back when I was Meagan, pre-pregnancy hormones and scatter brained side effects from pregnancy and child.

So earlier in the week, I caught myself sitting at the dining room table, by myself, eating my breakfast, which instead of cereal, suddenly consisted of Organic Oatmeal, Mother's Milk Tea, and a banana. I was reading the latest issue of "Brain Child Magazine" and breastfeeding... all at once. Hmmm. It was so mom-like in a zen kind of way... everything I was doing consisted of something that would benefit my child. I was eating oatmeal and drinking Mother's Milk Tea to increase and maintain an abundant supply of breastmilk. I was reading Brainchild to learn about issues pertinent to children and families today. Even the fact that I was eating was to benefit my child, because my health impacts my child, not just indirectly, but directly, because she has gotten her sole sources of nourishment directly from my body, not just for the first 6 weeks of her life, but for the first 46 weeks of her life. When I thought about it, it almost brought tears to my eyes... but when I didn't think about it, it was just the most relaxing moment I had since that uninterrupted bubble bath where I read some of my book AND Shaved my legs without anyone within a 2-foot radius in a bouncy chair spitting her pacifier out playfully.

Then yesterday, I was online filling out sweepstakes for my daughter (I know) at Parent's magazine's website, and I checked a box that said "I am a parent" and I was like WHOA. I mean, I know that I am "her mom" and that Evan is "her dad" but I had never said the word "parent" in reference to her before. I don't even think that on insurance forms I had said that I was "her parent." I think the term used was "dependent." So yeah. "I am a parent" was a little mindblowing. I think I said it out loud to whoever would listen. "I am a parent!" I am checking this box! Totally!

Groundbreaking. Then this morning it really hit home when I used my carafe. For the first time. Ever. I have owned it for like 4 years, since back in my Pampered Chef days. When I was earning so much stuff, and I had everything in the catalog, I thought to myself "someday I will be an adult and I might need a Carafe!" Right? Certainly. Adults need carafes all the time. They drink Coffee (I hate coffee) and they have people over, and they need carafes. You see them at all kinds of adult functions. Some people even put ice water in them at banquets and conferences. I know, I have been there. I have used OTHER people's carafes. And I thought "someday, you might need a carafe" so I got one, because Pampered Chef's was a really nice carafe.

And then. Today. It happened. I used the carafe. MY carafe. I didn't really think about it in a "life altering" kind of way, until I finished pouring in the boiling water, screwed the lid back on, changed the indicator to show that the liquid was "hot," and then poured a mug full on top of my tea bag. I sat the carafe down, stood back, looked at it, and was like. Omigod. It's here. That day is here. That day when I might be an adult and need a carafe. That day when I am a married woman pushing 30 with a house and a real bonafide baby sleeping sweetly and a husband snoring on his side of a king sized bed. We are even talking about putting up a white picket fence in the yard this spring. It's here. Carafe time. Adult time. For real. Now that, was life changing.

I guess that anyone can get married. Anyone can be almost 30. Anyone can have a baby. But if you take all that, add it up together, and throw in a carafe... you've got adulthood!

Saturday, October 13, 2007

My little cupcake

Oh. My. God.

First, let me explain that mom and I were talking and decided to make Ardyn's first birthday party have a cupcake theme. It all started with this bib that we saw in Pottery Barn Kids, and my friend Cari ordered it and gave it to me for a baby shower gift. Mom said "We should make her a big cupcake cake" and I was like YEAH! Then last week I saw that Wilton makes what looks like a giant muffin tin, but it actually makes 6 giant sized cupcakes. They also make the cupcake papers to match. Whoa. I almost bought it, but instead I told mom about it and we discussed. (we are party planners extraordinare) So then in the Parents Magazine that I just got (and everyone else has had for a month) Wiltom came out with a GIANT Cupcake mold pan, that isn't available till October 31st. Whoa. This is totally meant to be. So I called mom and she was like "NO WAY!" So now we are super excited. And then I found this cupcake pan too...

Keep us in mind if you see anything cupcake affiliated that's cool. She got the cute cupcake towels and onesies from Gerber, that say things like "Sweet Little Cupcake" and I love them.

Ardn was SOOO Good yesterday. She was a little gassy and fussy now and then, but she spent almost the entire day awake, if you don't count the 3 20 minute naps, she was awake all day. Grandma Mona came over and watched her while I picked up the house, cleaned out a closet, and ate my lunch. Last night my sister Liz came over and we went to Brad and Anya's and saw Anya, Lisa, Ava, Ryan, and Emy. Ardyn was awake and finally crashed out at 2am, and she slept so well! She slept till 7am, could barely keep her eyes open to eat and have her diaper changed, and then slept till 11 when someone who Evan thought was a girl scout and I thought was an old lady with a walker, rang the doorbell and woke us all up from our slumber. I guess we will never know who is was. Unless they read the blog. In that case we called them a little old lady girl scout and they may never speak to us again. But that's what sleep deprivation does to you. It compromises your vision.

Today we have been up and bathed, and now Ardyn and Evan are napping. We are looking forward to a visit from Angie. We had planned to go to the orchard, but it's overcast and we aren't sure now.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Baby Detox

Last night was a longggg night. Didn't I say that yesterday! Ha. Ardyn was up from 2-5am, and I have learned something. In previous nights, I have spent the time trying to shh her and get her to go back to sleep. Swaying, Shushing, Pacifier, patting, rubbing, etc. It never works. In the end I end up feeding her at least twice and she eventually wears herself out. And I become incredibly frazzled and stressed at several hours of her fussiness or crying, except for the moments I am feeding her. So last night, I decided no more pacifier in bed. Not necessary. She doesn't need the pacifier to fall asleep, and it causes nothing but problems. She spends the entire night sucking, then falling asleep, spitting out the pacifier, and immediately waking up and screaming because she lost it. Then I spend the night trying to put it back in her mouth, or attempting to hold it in place in my sleep, or attempting to keep my hand the perfect distance from her face so that it can't fall out but she doesn't KNOW that I am there trying to hold it in her mouth. Evan and I both decided long ago that they should make some form of pacifier headgear that will hold it in place forever. We will someday strike it rich with the invention. So last night (this morning) at 2:30 am, we went through pacifier detox. She shook all over like an addict. She screamed. She turned red. She was super-pissed. I also took a new angle on the waking up and staying awake. Instead of trying to spend that time getting her back to sleep, I decided to embrace the awake.

Embrace the Awake- "Operation Trick the Baby...."
Step 1- Remove her from our bedroom.
Step 2- Take her to the nursery, with the lights low (Ikea moon nightlight lit softly)
Step 3- Plug in the electric heater to keep the room super snuggly
Step 4- Snuggle with her in the rocking chair, cover us both with the fleece blanket.
Step 5- Breastfeed her (over. and over. and over.) until she is so full that she can't see straight and her eyes are so heavy that she can't keep them open if she even tried.
Step 6- consistent and perhaps excessive burping to prevent sleep spit-up or hiccups (very detrimental to the plan)
Step 7- Rock Rock Rock until her eyes roll back in her head and she becomes a limp noodle. Clause A- If she is awake as awake can be, embrace that by making her laugh. Sing. Stick your tongue out. Talk in silly voices. Despite your sleep exhaustion, pretend like you are the happiest mommy ever to be awake for 4 hours in the middle of the night. A happy baby will start to yawn before a screaming baby.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Zzzz Zzzzz Z zz ZZ zzzzz Z z Zzzzzzz.....

Last night. Was rough. Ardyn was awake from 4am until 7:50am. Ugh. Then she woke up again at 9:50 and at 11am to eat. I drug my ass out of bed at 11. I was just putting one foot in front of the other, but We started off our day with apple cinnamon oatmeal and yogi's mother's milk tea. I got a free issue of Brain Child Magazine,and when I finished my oatmeal and banana, I held her and nursed her while drinking the rest of my tea and reading several articles. It was a nice morning. Then we wrapped ourselves up and cuddled in the glider in the nursery, and rocked for a while, and nursed. And nursed again. And rocked some more. Around 3:30 she went down for a nap, and so did I! It only lasted about 40 minutes before she wanted to eat again... but at least it was a nice nap. I felt a little better then, but alot better when Evan brought home chicken for supper, and we ate, and I got to take a bubble bath and read some of my book. Ahhh. And now she was in bed at 9:45 and I am soon to follow in case we have another night like last night.

I am really enjoying the "I was a great mom before I had kids" book. It talks about how mom's hold themself to a high standard and that they expect more out of themselves than is physically possible of anyone. It also talks about how society (other mom's included) also expect unbelievable things from moms, and it makes it all even harder. It has a great take on choice. I talks about how we have so many choices in our lives today, for ourselves, our kids, and our families in general. There are so many choices that it's exhausting to just make decisions constantly, and that while dad's may even take care of their share of household or child-rearing tasks, they don't generally make all the decisions that the wife does. Everything from what your child wears, what activities they take part in, where they go to school, who they have for daycare, what your family eats... to paying bills, household finances, fixing household items, family vacations, correspondence with other family members and friends, planning babysitters, date nights, house maintenance, etc. The book discusses how the constant decision making process puts your brain on overload on a regular basis. You are constantly investigating, weighing pros and cons, putting the decision making process in place, and then whenever something doesn't work out perfectly, no matter what it may be, you are second guessing your choice, thinking that the problem was indeed just a bad decision on your part. Then you feel guilty. You feel like you let your family down, and you feel like things aren't "right" because of your decision. So while we fought and fought to have so many choices, now we have overwhelmed ourselves with constant choices to make. Isn't THAT the truth? So I am supposed to learn from this book what is REALLY important to me, and to my family, and trying to forget and let the rest "go." Focus on what is really important in order to enjoy your life and be happy. I will keep you posted.

Well, I did try out the new Avent Isis IQ Duo breast pump tonight, and it's incredibly powerful. It was more powerful than the Isis IQ Uno pump (wow!) and more powerful than the hospital grade Medela that we used in the hospital in order to get contractions going. I was able to do the complete setup, pumping, and cleanup in less than 12 minutes. And that was the first pumping ever... so that was awesome. I think that being familiar with the setup of the Uno pump made it easier to setup the Duo. It really got the milk flowing though. I am sure as I continue to get used to this pump, the milk will flow even faster!

Have a nice night and wish me SLEEP!

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Letter to Manufacturer of Halo Sleep Sacks

To Whom in May Concern,

Hello. We have a one month old daughter, and we purchased three Halo Sleep Sack Swaddles from Target, in newborn sizes, in pink, blue, and cream. The pink swaddle sack does not have the velcro loop tabs on the back of the swaddle that hold the swaddle down and attached to the sleep sack. The blue sack has one of these loops, and the cream swaddle has two. We are having issues with the pink swaddle and I assume that is the reason that you attached the loops to the other two sacks. It is very scary, but we often wake up with our daughter having worked her hands under the swaddle (not matter how tight it is) and having lifted the swaddle portion up around her neck and/or over her face. We have found her with her mouth and nose covered. This is very dangerous, as you are sure to understand, and we have discontinued using the pink sleep sack. I am writing to see if you have had a recall on some of these sleep sacks. If you have not, I really hope that you will do so, as this is too dangerous! I would also like a replacement for our pink sleep sack, with one that does have loops on the back/bottom and will hold the swaddle piece into place so that she may sleep safely. Please respond. Thank You!

Having a good week,

Not sure how much time I have! Ardyn is swinging happily, which never happens at nighttime, as this is the time she will be either Fussy or hungry. Or both at once.

I haven't been around much - call it a long weekend! LOL. I can't even really remember what I did since last Friday. Friday I can't remember at all. Saturday we went to Target. I desperately needed to get OUT. Ardyn was pretty good all day on Saturday. We ate at the Chinese Buffet in Peru, and then went to Target where we dropped WAY too much ca$h but I felt WAYY better. Ha. We did get an 8.5 x 8.5 scrapbook for Ardyn, and some scrapbook paper. I bought three nursing bras, which were identical to the three I had ordered from, but after I placed my order I found that they were back ordered for 2-6 weeks and I thought "screw this" so I bought them in the store and then got online and canceled my order. We also bought two canisters of Oxi-Clean baby, since that's the stain treatment of choice in this place nowadays. You can only find the stuff at Target, so I bought two. And we bought three lap pads to replace the three that we have already ruined because they were DEFECTIVE and fell apart in the wash although the directions clearly state wash/dry is appropriate. We had 6, a pack of three pink and another pack of 3 green. We have used and washed them both equally, but all three green ones fell apart. One fell apart the first wash. The others shortly after that. The three pink ones are all intact. They were Circo brand (a Target brand) and I would totally write them a letter except the bastards ON PURPOSE I am sure, don't put their address or a phone number on their packaging. Bastards.

Saturday night Ardyn went into total meltdown mode for three hours until I was about to shave my head like Britney Spears. Evan came back home and entertained her and we got her calm again with lots of feeding. She then slept clear through the night. Or should I say morning. 8 hours straight, although she didn't go to sleep until the wee morning hours. Apparently she was gassy. Unbelievably gassy. LOL. Sunday we didn't do much that I can remember. She was the best baby ever and didn't cry once all day or night. Sunday night Ardyn and I went to Anya's to drop off a casserole dish and some Huggies Coupons we had saved for them, and then we went to Wal-Mart for no reason other than to buy cereal and envelopes. Luckily they only cost us $76. Ha. I bought some frames for her new pictures, so that we can hang some in the "master bedroom." and some other grocery/household items, including ziploc bags and glue traps. That night I caught the second little mouse. I also stayed up for HOURS and she was awake from 6am-9am, after only going to sleep at 3:30am, and I had to have Evan take her in the morning so I could try to grab another hour of sleep. She was so fussy!

All day Monday she was gassy again, and a little fussy. We went to my parents for the day since they were both off work and mom was painting. Monday night we were hanging out at home again. As soon as I got back from my parents I tried to lay down with her because I had a horrible headache. I think it was from being so tired. Evan took her while I took an hour long nap, until she started her "hungry cry" which I (and my boobs) cannot sleep through. Evan and I made BLT's and mashed potatoes and corn for supper and we hung out. We both looked bleary eyed.

I tried to go to sleep at 1am after she did, but I was having no luck. Lying in bed for some reason. I ended up falling asleep just after 2:15, only to be awoken at 2:36 by her crying because she had wiggled her hands up and out of her swaddle sleep sack, and they were under her chin but she couldn't quite get them in her mouth. So I had to unswaddle her, and re-swaddle her, and she acted like she might go back to sleep... but then she pooped. So I changed her, and then Evan fed her a bottle, and then re-swaddled her, and she answered back with staying awake till 4:30am and eating two more times. Then she was awake at 6:50, 7:50, and 9:50am. Switching it up. We did lots of side lying nursing that night/morning.

Today (Tuesday) we slept as late as we could ... luckily I felt okay today, and we got lots of things in the mail. The Avent Isis IQ Duo arrived. I washed and sanitized all it's parts and packed supplies in the bag that I will use when I go back to work, even though that's forever away from now. We got three books from Amazon, and my mother's milk tea by Yogi. I also got two magazines to read, although if I have them even cracked by the end of the week it will be a miracle.

Ardyn and I went to the hospital today, to get a prescription refill of mine, and the breast cancer awareness shirts that I had ordered, and visited my department at work. Then we ran to Peru and picked up her photos from Sears (yay!), and a Cheeseburger and Pickle Pizza for supper from Lou's LaGrotto. We are running the dishwasher. I just gave Ardyn a bath and washed her hair, and then gave her a massage, and then changed her again, swaddled her in her sleep sack, and rocked and nursed her to sleep. And now, she's in bed. 11pm! Probably the earliest in WEEKS! Yay!

I will follow shortly, after I drink my cup of tea and finish this blog posting and the episode of Elen DeGeneres I am watching. I did get lots accomplished today. I was able to fax in the letters from HR and my OB regarding my short term disability claim. I was able to call my insurance company to ask where Ardyn's HRA money is. Evan mailed all the bills I wrote out and I made a bank deposit. I got all of Ardyn's pictures cut apart, and ours put in their frames. Saturday I even got my toenails painted, after almost 5 weeks of attempts. I took the polish OFF on Tuesday, and it took till Saturday till I could get them painted again! I also finished Dan Brown's Angels and Demons on Sunday. It was an excellent book. I loved it. I kinda thought the end drug on a bit, a lot of philosophical dialogue that I was getting bored with... but it was a great story. Very well Written. And of course Evan says they are making that into a movie. Let's see if they can screw that up as much as they screwed up the ending of DaVinci Code. If I can help it, I won't ever see the movie. I think I learned my lesson.

Now I have two new books to start reading. I Was a Good Mom Before I had Kids by Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile. And Baby Makes Three by John M. Gottman, PHD. and Julie Schwartz Gottman, PHD. Evan is reading Delilah's Everyday Soul Cookbook and picking out all kinds of recipes that we need to make. I am way behind on updating the blog's booklist. Ugh. Oh well. I have a handful of Thank You Cards to finish first, from last minute gifts I received. I also have Fall/Halloween Decorations to put out, and I need to test out the new breast pump. Plus Ardyn's scrapbook hasn't been started yet! So much to do... so little time, but tonight I will drink my tea and go to bed!

Friday, October 05, 2007

Still awake!

So, um... today was Thursday. My bad. I figured that out tonight when we met Evan's parents and brother at 6&34 in Sheffield for supper, and it was taco night. Whew!

Ardyn gave me a rough night last night. She fell asleep around 11pm, but I wasn't tired? I Had been exhausted at 6pm, but apparently I got a second wind. I lay down with her around 11:30, but decided to read a little. I started Dan Brown's Angels and Demons a few days ago, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE it. I have only been able to read a little bit while breastfeeding, but last night I read for a LONG time (too long) and at 1:38am, I was chastising myself for not sleeping while she slept... and I paid for it later (of course) when she woke me up every hour and 45 minutes until 8am when she decided to be awake until about 9:45.... and then THANK GOD we both slept straight through till 1pm! Yay!

We had a laid back sort of day. Since I seem to have to buy everything, I ordered more sealing disks for my avent bottles, since I have been freezing 2 ounce increments in bottles and then I will freeze 4 ounce increments in bags. Of course now I am worried (a little) that I might have thrush... which means i would have to toss out all my milk I have expressed. Ugh. That's like throwing away gold! Well, the only symptom of thrush that either of us have- shooting stabbing pains when I am not nursing. Not sure if it's for real, but lots of people on the fertility/pregnancy/mom/breastfeeding boards that I frequent have had only that as a symptom and ignored it and it got MUCH worse and both of them had it and it took months to get rid of then. Ack. So tomorrow I will call my midwife and see what she thinks.

I also broke down and spent BIG BUCKS on a hospital grade dual breast pump. When I initially bought a pump, I got an Avent Isis IQ Uno, which is a handheld manual/electric combo pump. I love it. I didn't want to spend much because although I wanted breastfeeding to work out, you don't just buy a $200-400 pump without knowing if you will have milk or if your child will eat, etc. So when I was pregnant, I grabbed the $140 pump for $60 on eBay, new in box... and it works great. But when I go back to work and have to pump several times a day, every day... and I am working within time constraints, and I need to make sure my supply doesn't diminish because I am not pumping efficiently... So I did tons of research, and decided to buy the Avent Isis IQ Duo, which is basically identical to my single pump but with dual capabilities and a hospital grade motor. I feel guilty buying it, but I know I shouldn't, because I know I will use it, and that in the end the cost will be way less than the cost of formula, and that the pump will last for our next kids as well. I also bought some bulk mother's milk tea, so that I can continue to keep my supply up when pumping. Plus it has Chamomile and Lavender, so I will just plain enjoy it.

So here it is almost 2am, and Ardyn has been sleeping since midnight, and AGAIN I am stupidly sitting here watching TIVO'd episodes of Ellen Degeneres from the week. Ardyn and I watched the first one together, and now I am watching another while I do laundry, pump milk, and wash sterilize the bottles, pump parts, and pacifiers from the past day. I am a freak for cleaning stuff and sterilizing daily. Ellen covered this story about the bear who fell off a bridge and was sleeping underneath because he caught himself on a concrete ledge and was strong enough to climb up there and sleep until help arrived. Check it out if you haven't seen it already.

So that's the story. And I should really do my face treatments and go to sleep, but if I am smart I will wake her up and feed her again so I don't have to wake up in an hour. :)

Wednesday, October 03, 2007


Don't you hate it when you can't remember what day it is? Argh. I know that in one hour it will be... Wednesday? Haha.

Monday was a busy day. Ardyn and I went to the hospital. We visited co-workers and we got her hearing test done, and her weight. 8lbs 5ounces! Yay! I also changed her diaper, breastfed her, chatted with my midwife who got to hold her, and with lots of nurses in OB, and ate some food at a little celebration they were having. The nurse who was there during delivery (holding my leg!) and who cleaned up myself and Ardyn... gets married this weekend. I am so happy for her! We ordered our Breast Cancer Awareness t-shirts for October and then we went to Sullivan's for some groceries. Monday night Uncle Kyle stopped by and held Ardyn while we ate supper. Then Ardyn stayed up till sometime after 12:30. I don't know when, or who fell asleep first, but Evan woke us up at 4:30am and I was lying on the bed and she was in the co-sleeper and the light was still on. Ha. I was so tired that night! She also had her first bottle Monday night, and took it like a PRO. It was amazing. She chugged it right down like she's been eating from bottles her whole month long life. So I am not trying to pump twice a day which seems to be enough to get one bottle for her, and then saving my stash up in the freezer since she will be going to daycare.

Tuesday (today) we had visits from Grandma Susan and Great Grandma Marie, and then Ardyn and I went for a walk and I wore the hotsling. I did the entire circuit that we used to walk prior to pregnancy, and up until the time that I had to pee every 5 minutes and couldn't do a long walk anymore... and I was so tired when we got home (okay, before we got home) that we just lay down and I fed her for a couple of hours.

Hospital and Dr Bills are starting to roll in. Luckily I have great insurance through work, but even with insurance I am starting to be nervous about how to pay for all of this and if I will have #1 paid off before we have a #2.

Evan made Spaghetti and Garlic Bread for supper, we watched some TV, I fed Ardyn, and she crashed out by 10:30... and then pooped... and then ate for just a few minutes after I changed her and went right back to sleep. She barely slept today, so I anticipate a nice long night. She has been a very good girl for the past two days. Happy and smiling and alert... not fussing or inconsolable anymore. I hope it stays!

Well, nothing else exciting. We're just doing what we do best over here.
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