Tuesday, January 31, 2006

it's my life. don't tell me what to do.

Things I don't want to do:

Clean 24 dog kennels tonight
Wear a bra
Work while wearing clothes
Put away Groceries
Wake up before MY body says so
Pay for gas
Pay for food. or drink. or cigarettes. or scrapbook supplies.
Answer the phone
Change Ink Cartridges for other people
have heartburn
go skiing. ever. again.
unload the dishwasher
bunjee jump or sky dive


Things I want to do:

Build Websites on my time schedule
Take Baths
Read Books
Sit in Hot Tubs Naked
Eat Oreos
Buy shoes
Roll around on freshly minted benjamins
Sleep on a bed of rose petals
Sleep on a cloud surrounded by care bears
Snuggle up with my dogs
Ride a bike topless through the countryside of italy
eat "mexican mashed potatoes"
Take a bath in milk
Wear diamond earrings and diamond rings and nothing else
smoke cigars in bed
scrapbook. but with super speed.
get satin sheets. Free ones.
Mud wrestle

Satan Strikes Again.

Okay, this is totally Kristen's fault. I went to snapshirts and it made me a shirt about what my blog really says. What stands out? "Satan, Demons, Devil" from the The Devil Wears an iPod post and some other crap. Although I do see jesus and god. Although I do see dogs and dazed and laundry and scrapbook and shower and wireless. Strange Strange Strange.

Quotes in 2057

This morning in the shower I thought about 5 things I wanted to blog about. Now I can't remember ANY Of them. I totally need a laptop in the shower. Like wall mounted, with suction cups or something. And of course a fogless screen and waterproof keyboard. Someone will read this, take my idea and make one, and turn it into one of those "late-night commercials for inventors" and make millions of dollars. Damn.

Of course I have to admit that I got sidetracked when read about the newest postal shooting, because lately whenever I use the expression "Don't make me go postal on your ass" I think to myself, now THAT is politically incorrect. It's as bad as saying I was jewed out of something or gyped. But then they go off shooting each other again and the expression will start ringing true, even if it could be considered cruel.

Oh yes.... This morning I was thinking about famous quotes and sayings, and really, proverbs. This was all brought on by the italian proverb that I put on my checks. I started to think (here we go) about all the people who said those things. And I started to think about the future, and like, will our decendants look back someday and quote things that we said as proverbs? How many proverbs and quotes were just a saying of their time? And I started to think about what things have happened that could or should or maybe shouldn't AT ALL be considered proverbs. And somehow I think of quotes from movies and music. That sort of defines our times, does it not?

Quotes of the Future:

"baby got back."

"talk to the hand"

"2 trailer park girls go round the outside"

"Stop. Collaborate and Listen"

"me love you long time"

"but nothing compares to these blue and yellow purple pills"

"The shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S"

"If you want to destroy my sweater. Pull this thread as I walk away"

"Jenny I've got your number 867-5309"

"party like it's 1999"

"Abra-Abra-Cadabra. I wanna reach out and grab ya"

"another one bites the dust"

"Hold onto 16 as long as you can. Changes come around real soon make us women and men"

"Lovin would be easy if your colors were like my dream"

Who are we to know that David Bowie and Pat Benetar won't be the most quoted people in the year 2057? How do we know that the sayings that we quote today weren't said by some drunken guy singing his lungs out in a bar? His friends caught on and they started repeating what he said. You know how it is when drunk people say and do things and you repeat them for the rest of your lives and laugh and laugh and it becomes a commen expression amongst your group of friends? And then maybe you pass that expression down to your kids and it spreads, and generations later you are saying something that becomes a quote. Wow.

So that's at least one of the things I thought of in the shower this morning.

Monday, January 30, 2006

Foot Fetish. Yeah Baby!

You know what I want? I want my way. All the time. Ask my husband.

Tonight I want a program. I want a program that I can install on my machine that will perfectly synchronize settings on my work and home PC's and also on my laptop. But only the settings that I choose. Example? Internet Favorites, Shortcuts, Link Buttons, Rememberized IE Passwords. That's all I want. Now my work security consultant might not appreciate that so much. But I hate when I am working on one machine and I am used to a link being right THERE and when I get home the links are all scrambled and fucked up and really my brain just doesn't have time to remember where I put the links on 3 different PC's. I just want them to be the same and I get REALLY sick of trying to make them the same. It's like bathing a pig. A job that will never end and that you really don't have the time or the desire to do.

You know what else I want? I want this zit on my face that is invisible to everyone except me to stop being excruciatingly painful and just SHOW UP already so I can get it over with.

AND today when I went to grab groceries, I went to the Wal-mart shoe aisle hoping that for the first time in this entire year they would get ONE pair of cute shoes in. AND you know what? They did. A pair of pink kitten heeled thong sandals.... metallic pink with clear lucite heels like strippers wear and clear jelly metallic pink thong straps and I saw them and I went Ohhhh.... and I had visions of the stripper pole that spencer's sells (sorry grandparents, stop reading now) and I was like THESE are cute... and as I put them on my feet and looked down, the HEELS started flashing and lighting up like those little kids shoes! Ahhh! I was horrified (I can't wear these, people will laugh at me because I am TWENTY SEVEN now!) and electrified (oh. my. god. these shoes are fucking HOT!) at the same time. And suddenly the lights in Wal-Mart went down and I looked in the mirror and I saw the hot clubbing me sans 65 pounds in cute jeans and my flashy shoes and a tank top and I went WOW! These sandals KICK ASS and I don't even care about the other white trash skinny crack whores with bruised and scraped knees (insert Courtney Love Image Here) that buy these shoes at the Wal-Mart and wear them to the beer gardens this summer. I MUST HAVE THESE! And now. I do. Look for a HNT Picture in the future of my flashy new thongs. LOL.

P.S. The photo above (left) depicts a more "stripper esque" pair of light up shoes. But I had to insert it just the same. The picture above (right) is my foot, on top of Evan's foot, on our wedding day amongst some barnacles on the beach. We had just gotten married, and those are my flowers next to us. So see, my feet Deserve cute shoes, do they not?

Service Engine Soon

Crap. Define Soon?!

Laundry Bitch

Today for lunch, we tried the new Pizza Hut Cheesy Bites Pizza. Yum! If you like cheesy garlic bread, this is the stuff for you!

The weekend is over. It didn't feel very relaxing. I did so much laundry! When it is all clean we have no room in the linen closet, no available hangers, AND both of our closets are too full to fit any more.... not to mention our dresser drawers. I had 4 loads of dark clothes, and 2 loads of jeans. Only 2 pair of jeans and about 7 shirts out of those loads belonged to me. Yet I spent all day Saturday and all day Sunday until about 2am each morning, doing laundry. Folding, hanging, carrying. I did have husband put away his clothes that I washed on Saturday, but I did put away all his clothes from Sunday. I washed a load of towels, 2 loads of blankets, a load of rugs, and 2 loads each of white clothes and good clothes, plus a huge load of reds. Ugh. I feel like a laundry bitch. And I ran the dishwasher and did about 3 dish strainers full of dishes by hand. Lots of pots and pans and stoneware. And I made the bed, picked up everywhere, sorted through the collection of nekkid magazines in the bathroom. (we don't need every centerfold since October of 2005 looking at us, three mags will be plenty)

So by 1:40am I was exhausted. I couldn't match another sock or fold another towel if I tried. SO I went to sleep. First I took a bath. Then I went to sleep. I slept like a rock. A rock that didn't want to get up this morning.

This week I have enough going on. I desperately need to finish the powerpoint that I wanted to have finished two weeks ago. It is promised by the beginning of February and that is THIS WEEK! I still have two websites to build and one to finish and get publiched (and this is outside of the sites I have for my full time job!) I am starting to feel stressed and overwhelmed again. I have my brother-in-law's computer to look at, but that will likely not be till the end of the week.

Tonight I need to get my oil changed and pick up some groceries. Tomorrow I clean dog kennels. Wednesday I have a doctor appointment. Thursday I have a 2pm meeting. Friday I have dinner with Cari at Chestnut Street Inn in Sheffield, we each won Birthday gift certificates. Saturday I think we are going to IKEA for Liz's birthday and Sunday I will either shop for new work shoes or scrapbook to avoid the superbowl.

I ordered new checks today. Tuscany. And I put a message on them in Italian, it's a Sicilian Proverb... Casa senza fimmina 'mpuvirisci. - How poor is a home without a woman! I thought it was fitting. Sort of a double meaning on "poor" (hence the printing on checks)

So last night was an AWESOME episode of Grey's Anatomy. How about PD being there for Meredith. How can he LOOK at Meredith like that and be with Addison! It's WRONG! It just broke my heart. It really did. Although any other man besides Patrick Dempsey (or Matthew Mcconaughey) telling me how to breathe when I am that upset and I probably would have decked him. And Izzy having a 11 year old daughter! WOW! Next week's episode looks even better! I have Desperate Housewives Tivo'd to watch later, because I was watching the new episodes of Simpsons, War at home, Family Guy, and American Dad. War at Home was pretty good. Thank GOD for Tivo. Although I am sure that was Satan's Idea too.

If it were up to me, I would spend the entire day today alternating between bubble baths and bed, reading books and taking naps and applying various good smelling skin smoothing lotions and potions. And first I would start with using my Gift Certificate for a pedicure that I have had since Christmas.

that reminds me, both the dogs and myself are due for a pedicure, and I need my teeth cleaned, so I could start making some calls.....

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Saturday Night Fever

What an eventful Saturday!

Last night was Anya's shower. She got lots of nice gifts and afterwards Lisa and I hung out and picked up a bit, and I put together her papasan baby swing for her. I got to sleep around 2:30am and then today I took a bath (ahhh) and then I called to check on the furniture- and it was IN! YEAH YEAH YEAH! Not the tables. They had some issues with the shipping of the side tables and the coffee table, but we did pick up the couch and the loveseat today. In the rain. Luckily a friend let us borrow his enclosed trailer, and Kyle came over and helped. Before we left home I slipped on the steps on the back porch (they were wet from all the rain and the guys coming in and out) and I twisted my ankle and fell down the steps. It hurt like hell. So I rode to Sofa Mart with Ice on my ankle. The couch and loveseat are FABULOUS, but we have some rearranging to do, and need the tables, so I will take pictures once we get those.

I also got to eat Hamburger Helper Lasagna TWICE today, for lunch and supper, so that made me happy. I know Hamburger Helper isn't the healthiest, but it is the ultimate comfort food, next tha Mac and Cheese and Tuna Casserole. Mmmmmm.

Tonight I am doing Laundry. Ick. The dog found a dead mouse in the basement, with his insides exploding to his outsides (poison) and he brought it to me in the laundry room. Awww. How sweet. It smelled HORRIBLE.

It is so nice to sit here on the new couch and fold clothes. My ankle hurts. It's interesting keeping the dogs off the new furniture. Boyd hasn't tried to jump up yet, but he has gotten that look and I just say NO and he stops. I did put the leather protectant on when the guys got the furniture in the house. I love the smell of leather. Mmmm.

Tomorrow will be time to pick up, change all the bedding, etc. Cleaning people come on Monday. Evan is out washing dog beds. We have 6 dog beds. 2 outside and 4 inside. That's alot of washing. We take them to the laundromat to wash and dry them quickly and since some of them are too large for our washer and dryer. The dogs will be thrilled to have clean fluffy beds to sleep on. They have that winter boredom right now, this week Hadley has eaten a wooden seashell (decorative) and a roll of paper towels, and a plastic water bottle. I hate when it thaws because the yard gets all muddy and when they go outside to potty, they bring in the muddiest paws, Hadley usually looks like he has on shoes made of mud.

Well, that's it for another boring post. Enjoy!

Friday, January 27, 2006

Now THIS is Sexy!

It has long been contended that there are male jokes and there are female jokes. And there are unisex jokes. Here is a joke I consider a true female joke. I offer it to you in the hopes that women will love it and men will pass it along to a woman who will love it.A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her (as all men will).Before she could offer her apologies for so rudely staring, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00......on one condition." (There are always conditions)Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was.Then he replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." (controlling, huh?)The woman considered his proposition for a moment, then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly, and meaningfully said....

Clean my house.............

(thanks mom)

Blogger Versus Bullets. I win.

Well, today I worked on "mission perfect sidebar."

Moral of the story, it wasn't flashy enough and it loaded too quickly, so I decided to sabotage it by adding more graphics.

Actually.... part of my OCD is bullets. I. Love. Bullets. And Blogger hates Bullets. Although they put that cute little bullet icon and the cute little number icon in the Create and Edit Posts Area, they don't work. Cutting and Pasting The Bullets from a word processing program doesn't work. HTML for Bullets (Ordered and Unordered Lists) also does not work. It Makes Me Angry. Picture me as a green hulk (female of course) with my green breasts popping buttons off my shirt as I get angrier and angrier over the Blogger vs Bullet War.

I decided screw them, I am going to make my OWN bullets, and I will coordinate them with my template and Blogger vs Bullets can BITE ME.

So it's all done, I think it looks cute. The page probably won't even load on dial up.... but it probably never did anyway. So I figure I will only have High Speed readers from now one. I have yet to check the view from Mozilla to see if it looks screwed up, but I do like it in IE.

Welcome to the freakish sidebar at Adventures In Everyday Life. At least I don't have any "blinkies" right?!

The Devil Wears an iPod!

Please any Arrows >> that were previously in this posting. This below "quote" was a forward I received and I really didn't have the time right when I posted to take out all the arrows. I was too B.U.S.Y.

Satan's Convention

SATAN'S MEETING: (Read even if you're busy)
Satan called a worldwide convention of demons. In his opening address he said, "We can't keep Christians from going to church. We can't keep them from reading their Bibles and knowing the truth. We can't even keep them from forming an intimate relationship with their Saviour. Once they gain that connection with Jesus, our power over them is broken. So let them go to their churches; let them have their covered dish dinners, BUT steal their time, so they don't have time to develop a relationship with Jesus Christ. This is what I want you to do," said the devil: "Distract them from gaining hold of their Saviour and maintaining that vital connection throughout their day!"

"How shall we do this?" his demons shouted. "Keep them busy in the non-essentials of life and invent innumerable schemes to occupy their minds," he answered. "Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, and borrow, borrow, borrow. Persuade the wives to go to work for long hours and the husbands to work 6-7 days each week, 10-12 hours a day, so they can afford their empty lifestyles. Keep them from spending time with their children. As their families fragment, soon, their homes will offer no escape from the pressures of work! Over-stimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that still, small voice. Entice them to play the radio or cassette player whenever they drive. To keep the TV, VCR, CDs and their PCs going constantly in their home and see to it that every store and restaurant in the world plays non-biblical music constantly. This will jam their minds and break that union with Christ. Fill the coffee tables with magazines and newspapers. Pound their minds with the news 24 hours a day.

Invade their driving moments with billboards. Flood their mailboxes with junk mail, mail order catalogs, sweepstakes, and every kind of newsletter and promotional offering free products, services and false hopes. Keep skinny, beautiful models on the magazines and TV so their husbands will believe that outward beauty is what's important, and they'll become dissatisfied with their wives. Keep the wives too tired to love their husbands at night. Give them headaches too! If they don't give their husbands the love they need, they will begin to look elsewhere. That will fragment their families quickly! Give them Santa Claus to distract them from teaching their children the real meaning of Christmas. Give them an Easter bunny so they won't talk about His resurrection and power over sin and death. Even in their recreation, let them be excessive. Have them return from their recreation exhausted. Keep them too busy to go out in nature and reflect on God's creation. Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, plays, concerts, and movies instead. Keep them busy, busy, busy! And when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and small talk so that they leave with troubled consciences."

"Crowd their lives with so many good causes they have no time to seek power from Jesus. Soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrificing their health and family for the good of the cause. It will work! It will work!"

It was quite a plan! The demons went eagerly to their assignments causing Christians everywhere to get busier and more rushed, going here and there. Having little time for their God or their families. Having no time to tell others about the power of Jesus to change lives. I guess the question is, has the devil been successful in his schemes? You be the judge!!!!! Does "BUSY" mean: B-eing U-nder S-atan's Y-oke? Please pass this on, if you aren't too BUSY! I don't think I know 10 people who would admit they love Jesus. Do You Love Him? IF YOU LOVE JESUS, PASS THIS ON!!!!!!

Oh. Boy. This one.... I am practically at a loss for words. Let me begin by saying... I see where they are going with this. I understand that we are so wrapped up in our busy lives that we are missing out on the important pieces and the quiet moments. However. I also think that whoever in the hell made this up has got serious issues.

Do you REALLY think that Satan and his demons thought up Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny to distract us from holy holidays? Do you believe that Satan's demons put up billboards and spawned CNN? Do you think that Satan and his demons have put CD players in our cars and iPod's around our necks? Was it Satan's Idea to not play Christian Music in department stores? Maybe it was the idea of us who really didn't want to hear it crammed down our throats everywhere we go. Hmmm...

Now I might believe that Satan is behind Junk Mail, and those stupid reply cards in the center of all our magazines. And he probably has something to do with those skinny models on magazines and TV that make our husbands stray (WTF?) and Yes, Satan is probably the one who makes me too tired at night to love my husband. I am sure he is the one that "surrounded us with good causes" so that we would "no time to seek power from Jesus" and we "will be working (with our) own strength, sacrificing health and family for the good of the cause."

But the thing that really gets me is that Satan is behind billboards. Because the real irony of the whole thing is those "god" billboards. Does that mean Satan is behind those too? Hmmm... Or maybe God just decided to play Satan's game and use the billboards that Satan put up to his own advantage. I bet that REALLY pissed off Satan.

AND what about Gospel and Christian Radio Stations? If Satan Made the radio and put radios in our cars and homes, does that mean that Satan is behind Christian Radio, or is that just God playing Satan's game? Because I believe that if Satan gave a shit to create radio, he would certainly give a shit to make sure Christians didn't get an FCC license.

I am really glad that I got this forward. It pretty much made my day. But things like this are just another reason that I dislike organized religion. (It is my opinion that) People who honestly believe things like this are not using their Brains to think about it, they are just following what someone else claims is true.

The Dog Ate my HNT.

So I really do have a good excuse. I didn't WANT to or MEAN to miss Half Nekkid Thursday.

My friend Anya is 7.5 months preggo and back on bedrest but tonight is her baby shower AT HER HOUSE so last night I went over and cleaned the bathrooms and vacuumed and such at her house to make sure that she stays off her feet.

Then I had to go to the bar to have her husband buy me the drink that he owed me for getting his ass out of cleaning. LOL. And I had fun there because I hadn't seen Josh and Lisa forever.

Then I had to go home and Husband made Vodka Slushies for me to take to the baby shower. (what's a baby shower without alcohol??) and I was so exhausted. My new Rug came yesterday and it is awesome. So last night I put the 5' x 8' rug out and I was thinking that I would take a picture of the rug for the blog and also put up my HNT picture. Problem is? It was 11:30pm and I had taken my camera to Anya's in prep for the shower so I wouldn't forget it. SO my camera (with my HNT pictures on the card) is at Anya's. And so are all the outtake booby shots that are a bit too revealing to put on the website.... so hopefully her husband doesn't read my blog and he and Josh decide to get my camera out and check out the booby outtakes.

So I couldn't take a rug picture OR put up a HNT picture last night.... so isn't that sad? I was all prepared but then the dog ate my HNT. Really he did.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Dear Husband

Dear Husband,

I know that you don't regularly read my blog, but just in case.... The following is a list of things that a wife would love to have for Valentine's Day. I know that it isn't a fabulous holiday by all guy standards, but you have done pretty well over the years. And you know, last year I bought some cute Valentine Scrapbook Paper, so I really need something to scrapbook.... What could it be. Remember that year that wife bought you a new kenmore grill for Valentine's Day? Remember the wife that bought you a new Fender Guitar for Christmas? I don't want you to spend that much on me, I just want you to realize that Valentine's is an important holiday for me. And Girls like Pretty things and Soft things and things that smell good. So just in case you happen to be passing through....

1. This one you will like... I like Red, Blue, and Undercover Pink
2. Or perhaps this one? I like Fredericks Pink, Fredericks Pink, or Plum Velvet
3. And Who Could Resist Hugs and Kisses?
4. Or maybe something Sparkly?
5. Or something Yummy?
6. Or maybe a Gift certificate for a little something later?
7. Talk to Trish at Rita's Rendezvous for a pedicure
8. Or Nancy at Princeton Family Therapeutic Massage for a gift certificate
9. How about an aphrodisiac?
10. But you know, Baby needs a new pair of work shoes or two. (size 10 fyi)

Thank You.
Love, Wifey

Tips for a SAFE wireless network.

My friend John gave me an excellent link today, for those of us out there with laptops that have built in wireless adapters. We have three in our household and I found this an interesting read, although of course our network and wireless activity is so freaking secure, and we USE software and hardware FIREWALLs (hell-O freaking people who don't- pull your heads out of your asses!) so this really doesn't apply to us as much as it is good information to know, maybe some of you out there will find it interesting.

And this spawns today's Tip- Things you need to do to have a truly "secure" wireless network.
By Meagan:

1. Change the SSID. Duh. No more "linksys"
2. Disable the broadcast on the SSID
3. Change the IP address of the router from the default
4. Change the Administration Password on the Router (duh again)
5. Limit the Number of IP Addresses you hand out over DHCP. Count your maximum number of computers and enter that number in the number of IP Addresses you can have handed out at once.
6. Enable a Wireless MAC Filter. Enter the MAC Address on each Wireless Device. You can determine the MAC Address of the machine by going to a command prompt and typing ipconfig /all and hitting enter. It is listed as a Physical Address and is a hex number (0-9, a-e) and is seperated at two digit intervals with a dash... (or in the MAC Filter window of your router properties, it is by colons) Make sure you choose the MAC Address for the WIRELESS ADAPTER.
7. Generate a 128 hexadecimal 26 Digit WEP key and KEEP IT SECRET and in a safe place (safe place does not mean in a word document whose name is "WEP KEY" or "password.") Only give this WEP key to trusted sources, or better off NO ONE and if you let someone use your wireless network, give out your key, and then they leave, you can always change the key after they leave.
8. Enable the Hardware Firewall on your Router. Don't have one? Buy a new Router with a built in firewall.
9. If you have strictly 802.11b or 802.11g wireless devices, set your router to accept one or the other, instead of mixed. When we have a friend come over who uses 802.11b, I have to go to my router to change the setting to mixed so he can get one the network, but it only takes a second and it ensures that no war driving SOB is going to get onto my network with a 802.11b.

If I have lost you, I apologize. If you don't know what you are doing, HIRE SOMEONE. And I mean SOMEONE who does know what they are doing. For god's sakes, if you haven't done these things, your network is not secure, and neither is any of the information you are transmitting over your wireless network, including your passwords.


This Blogs a Rockin (Don't Bother Come on In)

So this whole blogexplosion thing is really working out nicely. I am meeting all KINDS Of people like me. It's awesome.

I am currently being featured on two blogs, with three other bids in- I would be so thrilled if I could get those too, that would mean I am featured on 5 blogs this week. How fab would that be? new friends and enemies coming from 5 new locations? Awesome.

I am bidding on a rent at Diner Bitch, KSHippyChick, and Faerielicious (her template kicks ass. I love to draw faeries and have several of froud's faeries books and spiderwick books.) and I am being "featured" on Fashionably Late and a Table for One.

So do some clicking around and maybe you will see me out and about. Pimpin My Blog.

I did find another site whose template I liked. And I like a post or two, so I am not blogrolling her yet but I will be back to see if it will be a regular read for me, and it is- BAM! To the sidebar with it. So go Visit Lost in Wisconsin if you are bored. I would have rented from her this week, but even though she is not currently renting, she hasn't put up an offer with a price to rent, so I can't make an offer. Just like Christie hasn't put up an offer yet, even though she isn't renting anyone. SO there are two blogs I would like to make offers on, but I can't.

20 Questions. Plus Five.

I found this while blog rolling. I thought it was neat. I am not going to do the tag part, to spare you all...

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what did you think?
I love my hair.

2. How much cash do you have on you?
$5.61 and a quarter on the floor under my desk that I am too lazy to pick up.

3. What is a word that rhymes with "TEST"?

4. Favorite planet?
Earth. Hell-o?!

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
Oh jeez this is work?! My sister Liz.

6. What is your favorite song right now?
Coheed and Cambria -“Always and Never.”

7. What shirt are you wearing?
A tourquoise ¾ sleeve shirt with a boatneck, and a side tie sash thingy that has a beaded flower pinned on. I bought it to wear when we got married but found another one. I never got around to taking this one back and today I decided to just take off the tags and keep it. I should have worn a less complicated shirt today, because I don’t feel my description has done justice to how cool this shirt is.

8. Do you "label" yourself?
Um. Yes. Likely an perfectionist control freak, or you can just call it OCD.

9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing now:
ummmm…. City Sneaks.

10. Bright or Dark Room?
Bright unless it is night. WTF?

11. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Watching the Dog Whisperer that I had Tivo’d

12. What is a saying that you say a lot?
Fabulous. Or perhaps “whatever”

13. Who told you they loved you last?

14. How many days of work did you miss this week?
ZERO as opposed to last week when I was overtaken by the sickness and missed 2.

15. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
None I am all digital.

16. Favorite age you've been so far?
I would say 22 or 23, but I like my job and my ability to make enough money to make ends meet, so I might be better off saying 27. Although 17 was fun. College. I don't know.

17. What is your current desktop picture?
A boring blue swirl, windows XP style. I had something…. But I got tired of it and haven’t had time to search for another.

18. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, which would you choose? This one is tough. Because if I could fly, I could make all the money in the world. I would be famous. So I would have to say Fly.

19. Carmen Electra or Pam Anderson?
Pam. Carmen has always struck me as skanky. I know pam was with Tommy and has hepetitis, and they always say “I fucked the 80’s” for Pam (I have watched her Roast like 5 times) but I just have an instant dislike for Carmen. She has always looked more skanky to me.

20.Who would you love to reunite with?
Tonya Roberts. And my classmates from College.

21. When was the last time you said, "I am sorry?"
About 2 minutes ago. My friend Anya is on bedrest (pregnant) and I am going to clean at her house tonight and setup for her shower tomorrow. I was scheduled to go to a slidemount (scrapbooking) class tonight and we both had to cancel. I felt terrible, but that’s what happens when things come up.

22. Who has the cutest blog in your click?
Me. No just kidding. I love Christie’s, I swear it changes Every FREAKING day. I just went there to grab her link for this question and it had changed AGAIN. She scares me with her changing. How DOES she do it? So dedicated.

23. What did you eat last?
Hmmm… vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce, last night before bed. But it is 11am and I haven’t eaten yet today, so I am thinking that will change soon.

24. What kind of car do you drive?
Black Grand Prix GT.

25. What do you plan to accomplish this year?
Honestly? Okay, I will be honest. But don’t quote me on this. Have my husband’s baby. Get our new furniture, get it paid for, and finance a dining room set before Thanksgiving. Get my job title changed from “Computer User Support Specialist” to “web and graphic designer” and get the pay raise that I deserve for the web and graphic design work that I have been doing for 3 years.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Ficken Chingers

Check out the New Renter for the week: Ficken Chingers

I have been running into her blog all over the web lately, last week she was a guest at GIGotti's and now I am pleased to have her here!

Do yourself (and me) a favor and go to visit her! Click on her link above or you can find her screenshot over on the sidebar below my profile.

Whenever I read her profile description, I think of her "shaking her ass on the hood of whitesnake's car."


Calendar Girl. Lesbians Love Hockey. It Does a Body Good.

Someone needs to change my calendar. I have one of those calendars that is marge with little wooden blocks that have numbers, and every day you rotate those numbers. I count on those blocks. That calendar is the where I *glance* when I need to know the date and I don't want to lazily alt-tab to my outlook and change views to the calendar to see the date. Problem is that lately, I haven't changed the numbers.

I am starting to wonder if the problem might be that they are across the room and I have to get up to change the numbers. So whenever I realize they are wrong, I think "I will change them next time I get up" and then when I get up, I have already forgotten until the next time I sit down and try to look at the date. Damn girl, just get up and change the freaking numbers! Nah. That's okay. I'll get it next time I get up.

For a while I had a good thing going, where I would change them each night before I left so that tomorrow they would already be correct. I need to get back in that habit.

Can you believe I can make an entire post out of a damn wooden block calendar?

Okay, so I just got up and changed it. To tomorrow. LOL.

This reminds me that I have Calendar Girls Tivo'd at home and haven't gotten to watch it yet. I can't wait to see naked old ladies. You know, this may creep you out, but this is the second time naked old ladies have crossed my mind today. Don't ask. I will be a naked old lady someday. I am almost halfway there.

I am seriously considering moving some of my "tree" plants (ficus, cheffelara, etc) back into the living room from the porch. Problem is once the furniture comes, there will be no room in the living room. IF the furniture ever comes. Thanks Sofa Mart. My confidence in you is waning.

I really need to see a hockey game. Soon. I need to arrange that with my sister and our hockey fan friends. Both of our SO's (men) don't like hockey. Even lesbians like Hockey. I LOVE Hockey. It gets you all worked up (catch my drift?) It's an interesting thing when we have to get a group of rowdy girls together to go see a hockey game because the menfolk don't want to go.

Blogger has scheduled an outage today 4pm PST, so when you come on over and don't see my blog, don't panic. It will be back.

They make these cool treats in the cafeteria at work, they call them macaroni and cheese triangles or "wedges". They are like these battered triangles with macaroni and cheese inside. mmmmm.... They sound creepy and unreal but they are DELICIOUS and $1.75 for 6 of them. Heaven. Almost like Fried Cheese Cubes/curds. It does a body good!

Good Day Sunshine

Today is a good day. My friend CB Is back in business and I am going to have lunch with her. I missed her and I have SOOOO Much to share. At least three good stories to tell her. Today I make a wal-mart trip after work. I made a doctor's appointment. I will ship my rug back to get a new one with the right colors. Our furniture still isn't here but I am TRYING to be patient. Trying desperately. To be patient.

Other than that, its just a normal wednesday. And for once, I can totally appreciate that.

Have a nice day.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Post Secret

Have you been to postsecret? It's where people submit their secrets "secretly" on the back of postcards and they are posted on the internet for everyone to read. These two are my favorites.

Here to Drop some Stones....

Well, today was a doozy. Earlier this morning you may recall that I blogged about how crappy my morning was, and that I was frustrated at a person with whom I had interacted, but whom I didn’t name for protection of their privacy and of others involved. Well they apparently read my blog, and got upset, and decided to call me at work to tell me all about it.

The first stone that came hurling my way contained an accusation that I needed to get my facts straight.

The second stone said that my husband is a liar.

The third stone stated that I am taking advantage of someone very dear to me, for whom I have the utmost respect and I would do just about anything for. Not to mention that I owe much gratitude and appreciation to that person.

The third stone was followed by two smaller stones, we will call them 4 and 5. They were elaborations on stone number three, and they were clarification that stones 3 through 6 were going to be personal attacks at me and my family, which were none of the stone throwers business and had nothing to do with the situation.

Then there was that 6th stone that said my blogging the situation was immature, and stone number 7 was the throwers expert opinion that my help was not necessary, which in my mind also made it not appreciated. And therefore never to be offered again to the stone thrower.

So I sat around with these stones for a little while this afternoon…. I kept them on my desk at work and I thought about all the things I could attach to those stones and throw back. I thought about the ironies of some of the things that were said to me.

I thought about stone number 6, and realized that blogging must not be so immature, otherwise why would all these people be reading here, and connecting with me, and commenting, and getting to know each other. Why would the thrower of these stones be reading my blog if it were so immature? Do we not all have adventures in everyday life? Is it a crime to share them? Am I just to brutally honest?

I removed my earlier post.

It was very obvious to me that it had made the stone thrower angry enough to throw stones at me. I hadn’t set out to make that person feel badly about themselves. As a matter of fact, that post had little, perhaps absolutely nothing, to do with the stone thrower, and a whole lot to do with allowing me to vent some frustration and share with my friends something that caused me undue stress and frustration. After blogging about the situation, it had been lifted right off my shoulders. It enabled me to go about my daily routine and help out many computer users who were grateful and appreciative for everything I could do to help them. Had I not blogged about it, I would likely have remained frustrated and may have taken the frustration out on people who didn’t deserve it.

I decided that by removing my post, I was in a way altering history. My history. I was acting as though my being upset this morning didn’t even happen. It made me feel sad. After all, isn’t that what a blog is all about? Documenting life in all it’s ranges of emotion and taking the good with the bad? Being a real person? I can’t expect the stone thrower to understand that. They don't understand what we bloggers do. And I won’t expect them to understand. It doesn’t matter. I have saved the post. I can insert it into my history at any point in time, if I so desire. But really it served it’s purpose. It made my day go well and allowed me to go about my business without being frustrated.

So as my work day finished, I took those stones, and instead of throwing them back at the stone thrower, I dropped them.

I dropped them on the ground and I walked away.

I didn’t need them. By attempting to make my life miserable, the stone thrower succeeded in making me realize all the people who make my life so wonderful. It brought me closer to them when it was intended to tear me apart from them. My husband, who loves and appreciates me and who makes me smile even when things seem tough. My dogs with their big eyes and unconditional love. My family and my husband’s family, who are loving and supportive and help us through difficult times- even when you think there is no way that they could understand- they do. My friends who make life fun and share interests and laughter and even tears.

Dropping those stones was the best decision that I made all day. They became stepping stones if you will, to a better place. Dropping them instantly gave me a very calm, collected feeling and a very sad glimpse at the stone thrower, all alone in their glass house.

May this blog continue to allow me to drop stones and move forward with what is important in my life. I will not let one person's opinion stop me from doing things that I love.

For some reason this brought to mind the story that begins with god giving a man two boxes. God told the man to put his worries and sorrows and fears into one box and his joys and happiness into the other. When the man went back to the boxes, the box of worries was empty. When he asked God where the worries all went, God told him that he had taken care of them. This blog is a lot like a worry box. Once I am able to write it down, I can let it go. I can stop stressing about it and I can move forward with what is important. I can pay attention to all the things in the happy box and let the worries go. How immature is that?

Reposting. Because it is MY blog and I can. End of Discussion.

Let's talk about my morning, m'kay? No? Well this is my blog. See how this works? mmmwaaahahahahahaha!

So after a late night, I had to drag my ass out of bed. I was doing good, right on schedule. I was in the basement in the laundry room (where we store all the clean clothes, you know?) in my underwear and a tanktop (visualize, visualize) and the phone rings. Husband is incapacitated (different than decapitated) and All I can hear is someone bitching on my answering machine about how "it's time to get up" and she has "a lot of work to do" and Ya di FREAKIN da. So I RACE up the stairs, trying to catch the phone, and get to it JUST as she hangs up.

So I am PISSED. After I have spent 13 hours, the billable equivilent of $400.00... setting up a network for you FOR FREE, do NOT call my house and place a bitch-ass-rant on my answering machine that it is "time for me to get up" and answer your call because you are computer illiterate and Windows XP is giving you a major freaking breakdown because you are used to Windows 98. (I do not mention the $400 because I want to or intend to bill it, but because people who PAY me for work do not talk to me like that or leave me messages like that, so people who do not pay me, certainly will not be talking to me that way. Note: I would never charge the person who I am actually doing this work for, because I owe them more respect than I can probably ever work off.) Oh no you did NOT just go there with me while I am in the basement in my underwear trying not to be late for the job that sends me home with a paycheck every week, because I was up till 2am working on your problem that out of the kindness of my heart I made into MY problem, without asking for any money because I feel that's what friends and family are for.

Steam. Fucking STEAM coming out of my ears. So I call back.

And holding on to the last bit of politeness in my body I try to explain to her that there is no password to get on the machine and that all she has to do is click the pretty little flower icon next to her OWN name and she can get into the machine and do all of her work. She insists that there is a password. I politely tell her (although exasperated) that I was on that machine until 2am and that I am POSITIVE that there is no password and that the machine did not wake up and decide to put a password on in the middle of the night. It is my **previous experience** (with this person and with other users) that she is probably already logged into the machine and trying to access a website that is asking her for a username and password that she doesn't remember because on her OLD machine she told it to remember everything for her because she could not. Or WOULD not remember them herself. Yet she insists that she can't "get into the computer"

Well, after that episode, in which I tell her to use another computer for her work until *so-and-so* who is computer literate, gets there to help, she relaxes a bit.

So I race back downstairs, not 5 minutes late, throw on my clothes, race back UPSTAIRS, insert earrings, adhere deoderant, and when trying to get the HELL out of there and get to work, I slam my hand in the door. Fabulous. And not a little slam. One of those pinching slams that made me feel like my thumb or perhaps at least the thumbnail would be falling off soon... and I would have no thumbnail like my grandpa.

So I run screeching and stomping to the kitchen to put cold water over it, trip over two dogs who have rooted their asses in my path of travel, and by the time I get my hand under the water it is stinging and I am cursing and bawling and have the big crocodile tears rolling down my face in a river of fresh mascara and eyeliner. Husband (still incapacitated) is yelling at me through the vents "what's wrong, what did you do? (voice laced with concern, but not enough to get off the toilet)" and I scream "I slammed my fucking hand in the door (wild ranting madwoman tone)" and he yells back "Calm down, I thought you cut yourself badly by the way you were cursing and crying." ....

If I were a lion, I would roar. A real "I will put your head in my mouth and snap your neck like a toothpick" kind of roar. Not an MGM lion kind of roar but a serious "you just tried to steal my lion babies" kind of roar. But I just cry and pace and curse until it is out of my system. I unwrap my hand from the kitchen towel, check to see that I still have a nail, disappointed that I don't have a giant bruise that matches the pain in my thumb.... mop the mascara and tears off my face, and stomp off to work.

tagged meme

I've been tagged by Christie.... Damn you!

Four Jobs I've Had in My Life:
(these are all previous jobs, If I talk about my current one they will fire me.)
1. For Ken. Took Down Grain Bins, Drove Truck and Hauled Chemicals for Agricultural Spraying.
2. Worked for Pioneer as a crop scout and field statician (all corn related)
3. Worked as a bookkeeper at a local chemical/fertilizer/seed plant
4. Bookkeeper at a Grain Elevator, also weighed in grain, took samples and tested, sold grain to the river, bought grain from farmers.

Four Movies I Could Watch Over and Over:
1. Dazed and Confused
2. Footloose
3. Dirty Dancing
4. The Notebook

I Have Lived:
1. My parents House, Sheffield, Illinois
2. My house, Wyanet, Illinois

Four TV Shows I Love to Watch:
1. CSI Miami
2. Desperate Housewives
3. Grey's Anatomy
4. Family Guy

Places I Have Been on Vacation:
1. Altus AFB, Oklahoma
2. Tyndall AFB, Panama City Florida (beautiful private Air Force Beach there)
4. Orlando Florida (Disney), Ft Meyers Florida, Sanibel Island, and Isle of the Palms South Carolina (one trip)
5. Vancouver, Canada (got married)
6. Menomonie, Wisconsin (the Menomonie by Eu Claire, home of stout university) and Mall of America at Minneapolis/St Paul Minnesota.- oh AND Wisconsin Dells.

Four Websites I Visit Daily:
1. Wizzywigz
2. I Miei Pensieri
3. The Other Tina
4. Salacious Gossip and Heresay

Favorite Foods:
1. Pizza. Yummy. Cheeseburger from Lous LaGrotto, Spaghetti Pizza from Maria's or Angelo's II, or Stuffed Spinach from Bellucios.... Or anything from Caseys.
2. Lasagna or Spaghetti with Garlic Bread (w/cheese)
3. House Fried Rice or Moo Goo Gai Pan
4. Tuna Sandwich. Homemade or Subway.

Four Places I would rather be:
1. In Bed sleeping
2. In bed having Sex
3. In bed reading
4. In the bathtub (reading, sleeping, or having sex)

Four People I Am Tagging With This Meme:
1. Wizzy
2. Tina
3. Landismom
4. Ace (although I don't Ace reads my blog, this would be the time to find out)

1am and I pissed off my body...

(to the tune of "saturday night, and I aint got no-body." Sing it now....)

I am getting cranky. It is 1am and I just walked in the door. Seriously and literally. I have been working on that wireless network and putting in new computers.... again.... tonight.... after 8.25 hours at my full time job, I spent 6 hours on the other job. And then just as we are finishing, we put a computer in place, and it won't connect to the network. And we discover that the patch cable that was run previously has gone bad. And we need to run a new one, underneath the office building, into the basement. In the dark. Without a drill, through a hole that is too small. So we ended up improvising with a cable run all across the office to the wireless router, and leaving to call it a night (technically a morning) I am so fucking (yep, the F word, "partial profanity" be gone) exhausted and cranky. The upside is that I got to drink 4 glasses of wine while working and listed to my ipod, which made the time go faster.... up until the time I lost the buzz and started to get edgy and bitchy. And now I just have "wine heartburn" and no clean clothes to wear to work. Lucky me. Tomorrow. Sleep. After work. I promise to myself. Self, let me apologize for the physical and emotional stress that I have put you through since Sunday. Brain, take a rest, sleep sleep.

Monday, January 23, 2006

The Horse's Mouth

This is a very very very cool blog. If you have a question about our troops in Iraq, why not ask them? http://www.askthesoldiers.blogspot.com/

And while you are at it, visit GIGotti at his blog "across the pond" which is located at the tippy top of my blogroll. How cool is he, blogging from Iraq? And I think I have distractions in my everyday life? LOL.

Shopping List....

Orange Juice Concentrate.
Excedrin Tension Headache.
Bottles of Sprite (for Vodka Slushies.)
Orbit Gum- Peppermint.
Pick up 1 hour photos.

Hammer Pants Versus Buttafuoco Pants

For some reason the internet has removed all references of the buttafouco pants.
Do you remember the ugly pants that guys wore that were like crazy patterned NFL team pants, and Joey Buttafouco was wearing them on TV around the time of the shooting? We all started calling those "buttafouco pants" but now I can't find even a picture of them. Anyone know what I am talking about?

The Decision is a tough one!

I said the F Word

I was on blogexplosion today and ran across my site in their listings. I kind of giggled because my site had this little "clause" under it in red bold letters. It said "Contains parital profanity" (see above)

Partial? How is something partially profane? I have said the F word. Oh who am I kidding. It's my blog. I said Fuck. Who cares? Big deal? I also said Breast. And I think I said Boob once or twice. And that is partial? What does it take to me it "full" profanity? Cock (it's a rooster) Pussy (it's a cat) Hmmmm.....

Now I am on the quest for full profanity. Hang on as we embark.

My Mom Can Kick Your Mom's Ass

Not trying to start a fight or anything.... but my mom is AWESOME. Completely. I feel almost like a clone of her.... but with pieces of my dad. like I got my dad's ability to negotiate someone's pants off them, his ability to analyze a situation and take something apart and put it together again, his ability to draw, and his research capabilities. I am just like my dad in the way that he likes to research every decision to find out what is the best route, what is the cheapest solution, is there an alternative way....

But back to my mom. I look like her. My sister and I both do, and people always make comments on how Liz and I are sisters through and through, our looks, voice, mannerisms.... Of course the is tall and thin and dark haired and I am tall and not thin and red/blonde haired, but we are a perfect mixture of mom and dad. Our mom is super super crafty. She used to be so crafty that Martha Stewart would be jealous. But then my mom got what is known as "craft burnout." So now she does some crafty things but could care less about others. But she instilled the craftiness into me. And my aunt was also super crafty, so the two of them together turned me into a super crafty child that has spawned a super crafty woman. Crochet, painting, basket weaving, beading, scrapbooking and card making, and pretty much being super handy with a glue gun. Home decorating, flower arranging, gardening.... I love them all. A gift given to me by my mom. When I was a kid, 4 years old making valentines, she helped me to cut out hearts and fold them in half, then put suckers inside with the stick as a mouse tail. I was the kid with elmers glue, paper heard doilies, felt, googley eyes, and walnut shells. Pipe cleaners? You bet. She kept me entertained constantly.... which must have been hard because I was always "bored." Poor mom.

On top of that, my mom is a hella good cook. As in she cooks for a living, and for a family, and her recipes are sought after and her ideas of what taste good are right on. So I believe I was destined to love food, although my sister counters that theory with her hate of all things animal and vegetable. And her size 2 pants. So my mom made all the food for our wedding reception, with the help of some co-workers. She makes kick ass potato salad and italian beef, so good that people go back for seconds and thirds... and ask "who made this?"

And the luckiest thing? She passed it to me. She passed me recipes. She passed me the love for food, and for baking. My favorite thing to do is make bread. If I had a week off work I would make bread for the entire town of Wyanet if I could. I love love love to make bread. Part of that has to be owed to my friend Angela and her very missed grandma Sadie. Sadie taught Angie (and Angie's mom Joan) a way with tea rings and all things baked with yeast. I always loved going to Angie's house growing up because it seemed there were ALWAYS tea rings in progress. And always dough rising in the big yellow tupperware bowl. They made tea rings constantly, and froze them. I also have Grandma Sadie's tea ring recipe.

I have to tell you, I CHERISH recipes. When people give me their good recipe, it is like the best best best gift. When selling Pampered Chef, I met my super hostess Maureen (Mo) Pasker. Mo gave me her recipe for Neiman Marcus Dip. Every function I take it to, I get comments and questions "what is IN this?" so thank you Mo for great recipe. My mom passed on her love of crafting and her love of food.

Our mom is a smart woman. You don't (almost) ever get anything past her. When we were growing up, we always said she had eyes in the back of her head. I never thought I had that, until one day Evan's friends Clint and Cody made the comment that talking to me was like talking to the cops. They said that they swore I always knew when anyone was lying. They said they don't ever want to piss me off. I heard them tell someone once that I can't be fooled and god help the person who tries. I am not saying that is entirely true, but that came from my mom. She always knew what we were going to do before we even knew it.

Plus, she is a cool mom. You can talk to her about anything. And my sister and I tell her just about everything (much to the dismay and shock of our boyfriends and husbands). She tells it like it is. Liz and I got that from her too. She can keep a secret and she knows who she can trust. And you know, there is a line where a cool mom can become a bad mom, like the mom who hired the stripper for a 16 year old son's birthday. That's over the line. And my mom completely knows where the line is. She was my sister's designated driver on her 21st birthday. And my sister is no dork. My mom went out with all Liz's friends and made sure my sister was safe. That is a cool mom.

She bought Evan and I a dishwasher for our birthdays one year. We needed it desperately. THAT is a cool mom.

She's tough. She doesn't take crap from people. She beat breast cancer. She beat my ass when I hit my sister. She made shorts for us one year when we were kids, and even though she sewed the straight pins into the elastic waist and left them there, they were cool shorts. She went without things for herself to give us what we needed and even things we wanted. She planned the coolest birthday parties for us, using creativity and craftiness. She spent hours piping little icing stars on character cakes and making invitations.

I hope that my mom knows how much she means to me, and to Liz and that she has left some gigantic shoes to fill. If I can be half a good of mom as she is, I will have done okay.

My mom turns 50 this month, so if you know her, send her an email to wish her happy birthday and remind her how cool she is.

Stampin Up and Close to my Heart Orders!

Ohhhh..... new scrapbooking supplies. You just can't go wrong. I belong to a Close to My Heart "club" where a group of 10 of us got together and we each place a $15 minimum order once a month- that way our orders make a show, and then we take turns reaping hostess benefits.

I ordered a personalized acrylix stamp with my first and last name and my email address, that way I can use staz-on ink to personalize all my stamping/scrapbooking supplies.... so when I loan them out or go to a PMS day I don't have to worry about losing them or mixing them up with someone else's.

Well, then at my last cardmaking class, I had to order my staz-on (she sells stampin up and they are $2 cheaper per pad from SU than CTMH) and I had been eyeballing the Teriffic Tags Punch Box... and I heard it was going to be no longer available so I went ahead and ordered that too. Then I got the gently falling hostess only set. My SU order came today and I LOVE LOVE LOVE the punch box. It containes a tag shaped punch, three stampin spots ink pads, and 6 rubber stamps that fit right inside the tag that you punch out. Ones for baby, holiday, birthday, thank you, and friends- and then al all occasion "for you" stamp. Awesome!

So now once my personalized stamp makes it through with my CTMH order, I can start "stamping" all my belongings. I can't wait!

Oh the small things that entertain me!

Sunday, January 22, 2006


Spent 6.5 hours today working on a wireless/wired network. Now I REALLY don't want to go to work this week, especially since Our department will be half staffed due to an out of state conference.

Did I mention that I still have a 27 slide powerpoint presentation to create TONIGHT and baby shower invites for two friends' showers, AND laundry AND dishes. Hmmmm.... what to do first?

I suppose I should be sure to get in Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy and then we will see what I get done next.

Brand vs Generic

Well, it is 2am and I can NOT sleep. I thought of something to blog so instead of tossing and turning, I decided to reach over the side of the bed and grab my laptop. I will just type this in word and put it on the blog in the morning, or at this rate probably not till lunch, because if I get online now I will NEVER sleep.

I often think of blogging this and hours later it goes out of my head. Brand Versus Generic. And I don’t just mean what is your opinion, oh no no no! In my head the debate is much stronger.

First, let me lay down the scene. Growing up, we shopped at Aldi’s. Now I don’t know if Aldi’s is like Nationwide, but their headquarters is located in Batavia, Illinois, so we have them all over here in North Central Illinois. Since sometime in the late 80’s we have shopped at Aldi’s. And if we were at another store, we were starting in the aisle where everything was in plain yellow boxes and all it said was “spaghetti” in black lettering on the box, or “cola” or “Macaroni.” You know the ones. My mom was super thrifty, and she had to be. My dad got laid off from Caterpillar for 8 years straight, and he was forced to take whatever auto mechanic or other job he could find while we were growing up. We didn’t have mad cash. Not in the least.

So I have always been fine with generic. When I took lunch, I had a Twonkie for dessert or a crunchy chocolate chip cookie where the whole bag of cookies cost 78 cents. You know the ones. Or, maybe you don’t. Maybe you were the kid who I went to school with who always had coke or pepsi, and wonder bread, and lunchables… while I had “l’oven fresh” white bread and buddigs meat, or peanut butter and jelly. You had Heinz ketchup and I had “catsup.” And I loved the food I had. It was cool. But I tell you, kids can be MEAN and they all knew that my twinkie was a twonkie. OHHHH yes they did and they looked down their noses at my twonkie. Spoiled rotten little brats. I was on the special hot lunch program where I got reduced price meals. And you know what pissed me off about that? They had DIFFERENT COLOR LUNCH TICKETS for reduced price meals. SO all the kids knew. I walked through line with a green ticket while everyone else had pink. But I just figured that I was special because my lunches cost $2 for an entire week. I thought I was getting a “deal.” But WTF? Why color the tickets the same?

So I grew up never having miracle whip. Never. We had mayonnaise from Aldi. Because they don’t MAKE generic miracle whip. As a result, I despise the “tangy zip” of miracle whip. I HAVE to have mayonnaise, and I like to eat it on EVERYTHING and cook with it also. I will NOT put Miracle whip on my sandwich. I also grew up eating potato flakes instead of homemade mashed potatoes. As a result, my sister and I DISLIKE real mashed potatoes. We specifically request fake ones at holidays and we don’t eat them at other people’s houses because they are usually real.

But my mom was (and still is) an AWESOME cook. She can make anything taste great, and we never wanted for anything food wise when we were kids. We didn’t have junk food in our house. There were never potato chips, except the generic bags that went in my dad’s lunch. We didn’t have chocolate cereal. No Cocoa Puffs or Captain Crunch or Lucky Charms. We had generic chex and crispix and rice crispies. I never tasted real rice krispies until I was almost 12. No difference. Just a shitload more expensive. When my mom was in the hospital having my sister, I stayed at my cousin Mike’s house and my aunt Carol told me to pick out my cereal. They had a WHOLE CUPBOARD full of cereal. Like 5 kinds! They had CHOCOLATE RICE KRISPIES and COCOA PUFFS and Count Chocula. I said “can I have this?!” I was incredulous. She said sure, and do you want Chocolate milk on it too? I was like “um, no I’d better just have regular milk.” My cousin mike had cocoa puffs with chocolate milk. My milk turned chocolate just from the cocoa puffs alone. I was in AWE. We didn’t have pop in our house except on special occasions, and for dad’s lunches. If it was a Friday night and we were making cardboard pizza, we would ask permission to have one of dad’s pops with our pizza. Mom would count the pop that was left and count the days until dad’s next paycheck and then see if there was enough for his lunch till she could get groceries again. And if there were extras, we got a pop with our pizza. Sometimes we would have to split it because there would be one left.

So when I met Evan, I was so shocked at how he took for granted that there would always be pepsi and mountain dew in the fridge. A never-ending supply. And popsicles (the GOOD bullet pops, not the cheap Mr Freeze pops that we had) and ice cream in the freezer. And Doritos and Wonder bread. The stuff he had was AMAZING. It was like walking into a grocery store in their kitchen. They had lunchmeat and cheeses FROM the DELI! And macaroni salad and potato salad and bread that cost $3 a loaf. When we were in high school, he had a charge account at the “weenie wagon” for his lunch and he would buy and extra cheeseburger and a pop and feed me on days when I had no money to eat. We didn’t even date yet. And at school I was so broke for gas that I would ask friends for extra quarters and add up all the change I could gather so that I could put $1.00 of gas in my car to get home. One day I actually put 25 cents of gas in my car. That was when gas was 97 cents a gallon and I figured if that 25 cents got my two miles closer to home, it was a lot less that I would have to walk when I ran out. One day I ran out of gas twice in one day. I would just put my car in neutral, open the door, and push on the door jam till I got the car rolling downhill, then I would hop in the drivers seat and coast.

So we really came from completely different upbringings.

And I am not saying we were in poverty. I had shoes to wear. But they did come from Wal-Mart or were hand me downs or garage sale finds. I didn’t care too much. Until I got to Junior High and I had generic basketball shoes while everyone else had brand new nikes and reeboks. I had a pair of Nikes that someone had given me that had drywall mud and glass in the soles, and I spent Hours scraping it out so that I could wear them to volleyball practice and in games. Just so I could have nikes and not Spaulding shoes. How cruel kids are.

Even when I was in high school Jennifer Judd was the coolest chick because even though she was two years younger than me, she was a runner and she would just GIVE me all her old Adidas when her parents bought her new ones. She gave me three pair of Adidas my senior year. And I wore those shoes until I was 21.

So I am thrifty that’s for damn sure.

But you know what is interesting about brands and generics? There are these brand name things whose names become like a “staple.” For example, when you buy generic pop, do you call a cola a cola? Nope. You call it a Coke. Even though that’s just the brand name. Do you call every cotton swab a Q-Tip? I do. Most people do. Even though I never buy Qtips because they are WAY overpriced for sticking them in your ear and then straight into the garbage. I buy the generic ones, and I like them better because they fuzz doesn’t come off like a Q-Tip, and they come in purple to match my bathroom. That’s like, how many kids call any chicken nugget a “Mc Nugget?” Or how about Chapstick? I use Carmex and Blistex and I Still call it Chapstick, even though it isn’t. Or how about Kotex? How many maxi pads are known as Kotex, regardless of if they are actually stayfree or always? Isn’t that bizarre? What brand names can you think of that have just plain taken over? Band-Aid? Generic ones are often called “Steri-Strips” or “sterile bandages” – But I bet you call them Band-Aids don’t you?

Oh the things I think about at 2:52 am. Good god girl, go to SLEEP!

9 New Scrapbook Pages!!!

For those of you who don't give a shit, just pass right over this post. I got 9 scrapbook pages done tonight, all the pics from Christmas 2005. I was inspired to do these, but I still haven't done Christmas last year, or Thanksgiving this year, and I haven't finished the wedding album (haven't even gotten to the wedding part yet) but I needed a break from that album.

It was fun to do and I really enjoyed some of the pages, especially making the dog collar out of "conchos" and paper and wire. It was a very relaxing night. I should have been doing laundry. Or working on web pages. The scrapbook pages are below, and in order as they are in the album. Click to make them bigger and see detail and journaling. To see the 9 pages I accomplished last Saturday night, and the 18 pages currently in my wedding album, click HERE.

:) Meagan

Saturday, January 21, 2006

RED ALERT!!!! Lurkers are everywhere.

It always fascinates me how there can be almost 200 people here yesterday alone and like ONE of them comments. It's amazing. Okay, so maybe more like 4 of them comment, but that is like a 2% comment rating. I am not sure what is up with people. I suppose that my posts must suck and be boring, or my site is visited by cyborgs with no thoughts and feelings. I know ya'll are literate, because over 45% of you stayed her for over an hour, and 20 % of you stayed her for 20 minutes. Unless it's just the purty pictures that ya'll like.

I thought maybe when I take a bath I need to think up a really great hot button issue and type about it, but generally when I blog a hot button issue, people stay away from the comments like the plague. So perhaps not everyone thinks it's a hot button issue?

So I am elevating the lurker level to RED. Literate visitors feel free to out yourselves in the comments. Just click on the little "Lasso of Truth" link below. It's easy to find cuz it will sparkle real pretty like if you just put your mouse over it.

: dazed and amused.

Friday, January 20, 2006

a totally worthless post. I dare you to read it.

Before I begin, let me mention that I am this week's tenant at A Table for One. I am thrilled. I hope that I meet some new friends this week... so welcome everyone - and especially those who surf on in via the table.

My obsession with the late 60's and early 70's has followed me from day one. My mom once told me that she thought I was accidentally born in the wrong era. I love the music, the cars, the clothes... and I will never have enough of them. Growing up, my dad listened to KUUL FM and I heard oldies after oldies after oldies. I learned every word. I remember when I was little, I used to think that CCR's bad moon on the rise was "the bathroom's on the right" and I swear my dad about died laughing. But from him, I got the amazing talent of making up new lyrics to go with any song, usually on the spot without further thought. I am always making up my own words.

But of course as you can tell from my web address, my favorite movie of all time is Dazed and Confused, from the time I saw it in Kansas City Missourri in 1994 until this day, 12 years later. And another of my favorites, is A Walk on the Moon. I love to listen to the oldies, Hendrix, ZZ Top, Head East, Foghat, Black Oak Arkansas, Alice Cooper, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Steve Miller Band, Aerosmith (Sweet Emotions era), Led Zeppelin, CCR, Frampton, The Doors, and one of my favorite CD's is the Best of Woodstock. It's just the era that appeals to me and it isn't something I have grown out of.

Tonight I watched A Walk on the Moon again, and I have to tell you, how hot is Diane Lane? In that Movie, and in ALL her movies. She amazes me. Foxy Lady. Excellent Actress. I also loved her in Under the Tuscan Sun. She is just fabulous!

I guess I have to rank her up there with Matthew Mcconaughey- and Sandra Bullock. And to know me, you have to know that I usually don't have passion for just any celebrity. I had four, and I guess I have to add one more, just for Diane. The Matthew thing started with Wooderson in Dazed and Confused. And it wasn't that I was in love with the out of school older guy who hung out with high schoolers, no no no. I was in love with Melba Toast. And With the fact that Wooderson had the hots for Cynthia, the redhead smart girl (hello ME?!) when there were all these girls like bitchy hot Darla around. And then it just grew and grew as his movie list just grew and grew. And when he ran smack into Sandra Bullock in a Time to Kill, it was all over for me. Anyway, I am just rambling pretty much in this post. Sorry about that.

But Sandra, I have to say it was Hope Floats that sealed the deal. My husband makes silly faces at me with every single reference to that movie but I am telling you, I related to that film heavily when I first saw it. I related to that feeling like the entire bottom fell out and you had to start everything over again. I related 100% to that "I could cry in my pajamas for a month" feeling and I remember scaring the crap out of Evan when we saw that in the theatre because the tears just STREAMED down my face and I was like THIS movie KNOWS! It KNOWS exactly how it feels to have your heart broken. And he looked at me like YOU are a FREAK and I said YOU don't know because you have never HAD your heart broken, and you had better hope you never do. And I can't even listen to the soundtrack of that movie without crying. It's inevitable. I try to keep it off the ipod though, because it's totally not cool to be like walking down the sidewalk and become a bawling mess for no apparent reason. The Sandy Rogers song Fool for Love used to do the same thing to me. How strange is it to be in the middle of Reservoir Dogs and start bawling? Like that wouldn't confuse the fuck out of your boyfriend.

And of course, I have the weak in the knees thing for Vin Diesel. And I had a little Mark Wahlberg thing for a few years. But as far as serious acting skills goes.... Matt, Sandra, and Diane. I;ll make an exception on my two rule for Diane. Wouldn't you?


Holy Crap!

WOW. It has been snowing non stop since 3:30, and the roads are terrible, there is somewhere around 4 inches on the ground already by 6:50pm.... and now it is snowing AND thundering AND Lightening. And I don't just mean a little bit. I mean like great big flashes on all sides of you and low deep rumbles. The first thunder was so loud we thought there was a car accident or a transformer that blew.

It is freaky. I am glad that I got home before that happened, because If I was driving in snow like that and concentrating as hard as I had to in order to get home safe, I would have peed my pants and driven straight into the ditch at one of those huge flashes of lightening.

I wish I could capture it somehow for you to see here.

Here is the winter weather advisory online-





Battle of the Bands in my Head.

Well, it's snowing. And I am SOOOOOO glad it is Friday. SO glad. I can't even express. Sure, I laid around in bed for two days this week, but still. I am exhausted. Sickness just sucks the energy out of you. I am feeling better today, more like myself! Still some nausea, but oh well. At least Yogurt Burst Cheerios are good to me.

This weekend, I honestly can't think of what I need to be doing. A check of my calendar shows that it's my turn at work. Ugh. Oh well. Besides that, I will probably be close to home. Picking up, doing luandry and dishes, and watching the movies I have Tivo'd, like VanHelsing and Calendar Girls, and Mr and Mrs Smith- Although I am worried that Brangelina may have ruined that movie for me.

The freaking radio is playing the "Coyote Ugly" song that Leann Rhimes sings. I am SO sick of that song. It's kind of like a bad Cher song just.... won't... die. Please note that I am not controlling the radio, or it would be my ipod, on which there is no LeAnne Rhimes or Cher. As for embarassing songs on my itunes, I would say none of them, but some of you might say that Blondie, Pat Benetar, The Bangles, Joan Jett, REO Speedwagon, and Fleetwood Mac could be considered embarassing. My current favorites are Coheed and Cambria and Tommy Janes and the Shondells. I could survive for a week on just those two. Throw in some Beastie Boys, Violent Femmes, and maybe a little Jamiroquai or Hum, or Tripping Daisy, and I could make it a month. I can not get enough of Coheed and Cambria, thanks to my husband, and Always & Never and Willing Well III (Apollo II: The Telling Truth) are two that are my very favorites.... and I find them caught in my head ALOT. And you know, take a look at the Bangles. They are totally cool chicks. They are MILFs now, by far, and I don't think anyone could deny that (that's them above) and I am totally jealous of their cool hair and cool clothes and pink guitars. Awesome.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Ohhhh Baby.... Here we go again! Happy HNT!


My life has been rated...

My life is rated PG-13!

Your life is rated PG-13!

What is your life rated? (MPAA Scale)

Take Other Caffeine Nebula Quizzes

Christine - where is she now?

Well, I felt like crap again today, but I worked anyway. Tonight after lying down I feel better. It's like sitting all cramped up in a chair all day makes my stomach worse. I did eat some soup tonight, and my stomach doesn't hurt now. Hope it stays that way!

I watched Christine for the first time ever.... It was a good movie, considering the improbability of it. Until the part where I realized that the car was driving itself, I thought- That car is badass! And I realized that it is a good thing I never saw it as a teenager or I would have wanted a red 58 Plymouth Fury for my first car, and I would have named her Christine. But once I saw that the car was all about driving itself (and being on fire) I realized that it really wasn't the car for me. My car needs to be totally under my control, and it absolutely can not go out wasting my gas money on lame episodes of chasing down school bullies, you know? And of course, I was (and am) a fan of old cars, but late 60's early 70's cars are more my style. I grew up spotting cars, because my dad can spot ANY (old) car, year, model, make, original colors, motor, you name it, it's in his brain. So he would have been halfway thrilled at an old car.... except that he has his own old cars to restore and wouldn't have time for mine.

What is really fascinating (to me at least and probably my dad if he ever had time to read my blog.) is how MANY fully restored Christines there are, and how in 5 minutes online I found three of the 20-some original movie cars, one auctioned for $167,400 to a man in England in 2004, and another owned and fully restored by a father/son duo in Oklahoma. Their car is one from the Camaro Chase scenes in the movie. How cool is that? And then the one from the scene where Moochie was chased into the loading dock, owned by a man in California... and it was used in a music video for The Offspring since then. When he got it, the windows were painted black (hence the suddenly tinted windows when Christine was "driving herself" and there was no interior, just a rollcage and bucket seat for the stunt driver. AND he found part of the original Movie license plate and the DMV sticker in the trunk. Wow. He even found out where all the cars from the movie were sent, and became friends with the owners of the junkyard. Many of the 20-25 cars were never running, but were pulled on dolly's in the movie and taken to the junkyard when the movie was finished.

Well, tonight I also managed to cram in "my name is earl", "the office", "The O.C." and now I am onto my nightly repeat of Family Guy before bed. What a productive evening. I really can't wait to feel better, so I have some energy and the ability to stand or sit upright without feeling nauseous.

Boyd is snoring on the bed next to me, and I hope to be sleeping soon too. Sorry I am so lame lately, but there isn't much excitement when you are sick.


That Gay Song on Your iPod

This was a good post that I found on a fellow-bloggers site. The post is great.

Bloggin Hotties

Bloggin Hotties- now this is an interesting concept of blogging meets pornography. The owner of this blog claims to go around looking for "bloggin hotties" and then posts pictures of the blogger- some of them scantily clad, some nude, and then you of course instantly recognize what SMART Girls these must be and how INTERESTING their blogs must be, so you rush right over to be innundated with their knowledge.



Well, I am back in the saddle today. I am not feeling 100% but I can't afford to have more lost days of work without pay, and my QVC and putfile addictions are starting to worry me.

I am eating lots of Strawberry Yogurt Cheerios because that seems to be the only thing that I can eat without my stomach bothering me. Or at least only bothering me at a tolerable level.

That's about all the excitement that I have to share today. But I am sure more will come when the sickness vacates my body.... Or at least when I have been in the real world long enough to have something to talk about.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

can not stop

I have GOT to go back to work. I have developed a fascination for Putfile's "random video" button. The shit that is on there, cracks me up.


Motherhood Uncensored- Blog of the Week

My blog of the week is "motherhood uncensored" She will be here all week, so go ahead and click on her fabulous little screenshot at the left (just below my profile), and MAKE SURE that ya'll talk to her, so she knows you stopped by. No more lurking. Stop back to visit her throughout the week!

The Story of the "special" Crock Pot.

I have accomplished alot since we last spoke. I talked to my sister and my mom on the phone and they discovered that while they were enthralled with my sister's car blowing a headgasket and her being stranded along interstate, I was lying on my deathbed in agonizing stomach pain. We chatted a bit. I forgot to tell them about the IKEA dream.

I loaded the dishwasher. I made myself a gourmet lunch of Chicken Flavored Ramen Noodles. Mmmmmm. Now I am trying to eat them without the sickness taking over.

I called to check on our furniture at Sofa Mart (furniture row) on December 26th I was told it would arrive in 4 weeks. It will be 4 weeks on Monday, the 24th of January (next Monday) and of course when I call they tell me it hasn't even reached their distribution center (it's not off the boat to the states yet, damn italian leather!) and that it will probably be another 2-3 weeks. I tried my best to not come unglued on the salesgirl who took my call, but I noted to her that we have a gathering in our home on February 13th, and that we were told the furniture would be in on January 24th, and that there is a probability that if the furniture doesn't arrive by then I will come unhinged on Sofa Mart. She alluded to the fact that there was nothing she could do about the boat and that she was making a mental note to never answer the Sofa Mart telephone again. And she made a feeble attempt to say "it could still arrive earlier" which made me count backwards from 10 and tell her "good day."

I decided to make a roast. For supper. Italian Beef. That ought to soothe the stomach, eh? So I got the roast from the freezer, defrosted it in the microwave, and carefully carried up the Oval Crock Pot. New let me explain, that this crock pot is my baby. When we moved in together I despertely wanted a crock pot. I wanted the black and chrome model, not some crappy country blue thing with hearts and vines. Or how about the brown one from the early 80's? GAG. Those despicable excuses for crock pots make me cringe each time I see a mother with poofy hairsprayed hair carrying one to a potluck. GET A LIFE! GET A NEW CROCK POT! THEY ONLY COST $30 Freaking Dollars!

Well, When we moved in together I got my fabulous black and chrome crockpot. And I Loved it. There was an unfortunate crock-pot incident that made me come unglued one Saturday morning. We didn't have a dishwasher or a garbage disposal. I will leave out the grim details and say that there was some grease/liquid that needed to be disposed of. I was going to be sneaky and housewifely and tiptoe outside to dump it. I had on my weekend costume of t-shirt and boy cut underwear, no pants, no bra, no shoes.... barefoot with my hair in a ponytail.

As I got out the back screen door (which is an evil trap of a screen door that has no spring left in it) The handle of the crock pot got caught on the handle of the screen door, ripping it from my hands and crashing it to the cement patio with a deafening shatter. So there I stood, in my underwear and t-shirt, outside, with barefeet, the crock pot and the lid shattered ALL AROUND ME and grease/drippings all down my bare legs and feet, and all on the ground. I panicked. Every bit of stress and worry and sadness that had happened in my life compounded into that moment and was represented by the shattering of that precious crock pot- and I, the calm cool and collect- Lost it.

Evan was in the kitchen and heard it happen and he came running down the back stairs and the look on my face must have been like Lucille Ball before a crying episode and all I wailed was "My Crock Pot! Waaaaaahhhh!" and Evan was totally the man in the situation. He was like "don't move" and he got a broom and swept up all the glass around me and picked up the pieces. The whole time I was a sobbing crying mess and he kept saying "it's okay, it's only a crock pot" and I would counter with shoulder racking sobs "but... it's... my... special... crock.... pot......" and he would say "we will get you another one! They only cost $30 FREAKING DOLLARS" and I was like "sniff... sniff.... really? I can have another one?"

And in that moment I loved him so much. The man who cleaned up the glass and didn't abandon me in my time of desperate need. A lesser man would have ran the other way. But he cleaned it up, and we looked FOREVER for a replacement crock for that crock pot, it was 4 months old and Rival didn't even make that one anymore. So we had to buy an all new crock pot, the exact same model. So now in the basement we have a spare "outside" for the black and chrome rival crock pot.

SO whenever I move a crock pot, I am excruciatingly careful. I don't need my whole life shattering before my eyes again. And today when I was making that roast I almost cracked the lid.

May you never break a crock pot, and if you have, I want to hear about it.
Related Posts with Thumbnails