Saturday, November 22, 2008

Reason #456 why one's head might explode this holiday season

Welcome to Radio Shack. Where we do stuff to piss you off.

Me: Hi, I am here to return this product. I called yesterday. It is not working and the product is under warranty. All the paperwork and the receipt's in the bag.

Radio Shack Guy (RSG): Okay. What's wrong with it.

Me: A few months ago it stopped picking up transmission from the outdoor thermometer.

RSG: (taking the wireless indoor/outdoor thermometer from the bag) Okay, let me just take a look at it {*in the tone that means "you stupid people don't know how to work anything, I'll have this fixed in no time"*}

a few minutes later....

RSG: Well, did you put new batteries in it?

Me: Yes.

RSG: Did you-

Me: yes, we used lithium Ion batteries so that it wouldn't freeze up.

RSG: Oh. Okay. Have you...

Me: Read all the directions that are in the bag, reset the unit, got it to work temporarily and then had to go outside to reset it every two days until it quit working completely? Yes.

RSG: (unable to get the device to work) Well, let us just get one off the shelf and replace this then.

Me: (duh.) Okay.


RSG: We will just replace the piece that isn't working correctly. (Removes the outdoor receiver from a new box, attempts to place it in my bag with my old indoor receiver.) Do you need batteries?

Me: No. Why are you not replacing the whole thing. It's under warranty.

RSG: We can't do that (look on his face of everything being completely out of his hands.) We just have to replace what is faulty.

Me: (look on my face like I might jump the counter.) Well, what happens if I get this home and in a month, the indoor receiver quits working? And how will I prove my warranty on the new item you are giving me?

RSG: Yeah, you won't have a warranty on an item that is replaced.

Me: Oh. (calm. stay calm. calm.) Well, I'd like you to test the new outdoor thermometer with my old indoor receiver. I want to be sure they will work before I leave here. I drove 45 minutes and my warranty expires tomorrow. I want to be sure they work.

RSG: (looking as though I am a total moron and pain in his ass) Um. Okay. There is no difference between this new piece and your old piece. They will work fine together.

Me: (oh, except the part that mine was broke) Okay, well, I want you to show me that it works before I leave.

RSG: Okay. (reluctantly reaches into his giant basket of random batteries, spends the next 10 minutes trying in vain to get the new piece to work with the old piece) Um. Well. I-uh....

Me: Doesn't work, does it?

RSG: Did this stop working when the weather got cold?

Me: (smirkish grin) No. Stopped a few months back. In the summer or early fall. Perfectly mild weather.

RSG: well, we usually see the receiver work fine but the outdoor piece go bad because its outside, you know?

Me: Hmmm.

RSG: Well, I guess we will just replace the whole thing then.

Me: Yep (while catching Evan's eye across the store and him looking at me like "you have to be fucking kidding me. This guy is a genius.")

RSG: (removes the new thermometer from all it's packaging, puts the new product back into my ziploc and hands it to me) Well, okay, there you go.

Me: Thanks. (for all your help. and Technical Knowledge and stuff...)

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