TGIF

8am Observations:
The parking lot at work smells like Garlic Bread with Cheese
If you are middle aged and driving a sedan that says IBM GUY on the license plates, you aren't getting laid much.
Listening: Rage Against the Machine Roll Right and Without a Face
Wearing: Heather Grey Bootcut pants, Black Tank Top, Black Cardigan with Leaves on it, Grey Socks, Black Heeled Mary Janes.

So. How about Grey's Anatomy last night? I TIVO'd it and when I played it back, and the VERY VERY End got cut off! Damn cable, never having shows end when they are scheduled to! So I saw McDreamy go to Addison's hotel room, say "it's all my fault" and "it's a shame" and then see Mark walk out of the shower and say "this is awkward" or whatever and then it was instantly cut off. I was like WHA? Where's the official "end."

Fall Food

Listening: REO Speedwagon The HITS (another thing learned from my dad)
Wearing: Black Ballet Style Shirt, Khaki Pants, Puppy Dog Socks, and Mary janes. Straight Hair. Link: Fall Photos from around home

Last night was a very "fall-like" night. we peeled/cored/and sliced 30 cups of apples. I made two batches of apple crisp and some wheat beer bread with Budweiser. Yum!

I have a "fall" swap, I have everything ready to send. The only thing I didn't put in the picture is my handmade item. I need to package that up and get it mailed off to Germany.

I am happy today is Thursday.... but I don't have a HNT Photo. I suck. Oh well. I guess with all the Apple slicing, bread baking, and apple crisp making, I have an excuse, right?

One of the other things that makes me all excited for fall? My Tastefully Simple Order Arrived on the back porch yesterday, and now I have a sample of "Oh My Chai" tea and "Hazelnut Hot Chocolate." I am totally ready to curl up with a hot mug and a good book. I am just to the end of Rebecca Wells Ya-Yas in Bloom. So far it's been a really good book. But really, it isn't a page turner. It's lots of little stories, so when I finish a chapter, I don't feel the urge to continue like you would with a regular book, because you already know the end to that little story. It's good, but it has taken me much longer to read it than it usually would.... because I am not dying to get to the end. I had a hell of a time getting to sleep last night, I was still awake at 3am, even though I lay down at 1:30. It was annoying and it was really pissing me off. Then of course this morning I did NOT want to get up, since I was all sleepy and snuggled in.

Well, I can't think of a whole lot else to say today. Just your regular day. no profound realizations, no big purchases, no driving success stories. Just another day. I guess I could have some "Oh My Chai" or perhaps just a DQ Pumpkin Pie Blizzard since they just got them in. Mmmm. I hope that we can have some nights filled with relaxing and playing games with friends. I love fall.

Hmmm.... another project for Meagan?

What do you think are the chances I can get my husband to let me do this? It's a chalkboard, AND it's magnetic! Thanks to Danny Seo!

Swap-Riffic

Wearing: Black pants with white pinstripes, teal button down shirt, black loafers, socks with dogs and fall leaves.
Listening: Silence. Ahhhh.
Link of the Day: http://www.cabbagepatchkids.com It's the coolest, tour Babyland General Hospital, see the Cabbage Patch Timeline, and special edition as well as original all-fabric cabbage patch kids.

Me Pirate gear arrived today. A feathery lacey hat with a plume feather fit for a pirate queen, 2 pair of stripey socks, and the book Pirattitude by Cap'n Slappy and Ol' Chumbucket. Oh and I also got my adorable gifty gift from the "sew my name" swap, which I haven't even STARTED yet... and I need to do this weekend along with wrapping up my "fall swap" and finishing ATC's for 3 swaps that I am behind on. (bad bad swapper!) Also arriving today were the converse that perfectly match my own, only smaller. They are so freaking adorable!

I got to start my day with a pap exam, which is fabulous of course. Then I ate a turkey wrap, an apple Evan picked at his parents' farm, and a bottle of water. All is right in the world.

So this Saturday I have a Stampin Up Workshop to attend, and a surprise party with a live band for a certain someone who will remain un-named. I can't WAIT! Then Sunday I got invited to do some fun things but I really really can't because I have to do laundry and I have to finish the ATC's, the Sew my name swap, and Apparently with the acquired large box of apples I might be making apple crisp. It also occurred to me that I need to clean the office as I have been putting it off for exactly 6 weeks and I can't put it off anymore and expect to have room to start me "All About Him" scrapbook Album that arrived last Friday (QVC Auto-shipment) and finish the ATC's. It also occurred to me that I have all the paint and glue and the kit for my new dollhouse but I haven't even started. So really I would be happy with a weekend at home. The month of September has been extremely busy. I can't wait for October. It will be great to have nothing planned, even if for one full weekend I can just do whatever I want instead of running from place to place.

And you know... my pirate COSTUME itself hasn't arrived yet. I am worried it won't fit and I will have to buy another one. Ugh. HURRY UP COSTUME PEEPS! Send it!

T.M.X. Elmo

Yep, he's been revealed. See him here.

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Well, earlier I posted about how much I wanted this pottery barn halloween calendar. When we were kids we had a felt halloween hanging and this reminds me of it. When I first saw it on the PBK website and it was $64.00 - I tried to talk myself out of it, but I just WANTED it. So when I finally decided that I was going to just get it, I went to the website and they were SOLD OUT. Then I jumped on eBay and there were like TWELVE of them for sale. Mostly by one or two people who apparently are the reason that they SOLD OUT. Bastards. But they were going for $85-$100 per calendar! That's INSANITY! So I kept watching and as the days went by, and they listed more and more, I got one for $65.00 - just $1 more than the catalog price. ha HA! Take that people who bought them all so that folks like me couldn't get one!

So now, I am happy.

We've Been Re-United

Happy Monday! It was a nice weekend. Friday night I went to the football game (Bureau Valley Versus Fulton) and when they were supposed to announce the graduating class of 1996 and that this weekend is our 10-year reunion, We all came for the varsity game, sat through the game, didn’t get announced, and then found out later that they announced it BETWEEN the fresh-soph and varsity games.

So there were like 15 or 20 of us there and we didn’t even really get recognized… Or at least we didn’t feel as though we did. Also very frustrating was the fact that we had asked months ahead of time if we could help at the homecoming game. We asked if we could participate in the Homecoming parade, by putting in a float for our class, and we were told “we don’t have a parade anymore” and then there was a parade on Thursday with floats from all the classes. They even made phone calls to local towns asking for participation (fire trucks, etc.) We asked if they needed any help at the game, concessions, ticket taking, etc. They said no. We asked if we could offer free or discounted admission to the classmates who attended the game. They said there was no way to verify who was in our class or who wasn’t. The Class Officers suggested that they sit at the gate with a class member list and mark off names. The powers that be refused. We asked if we could be announced and go onto the field at halftime and were told there isn’t enough time (and that we understood.)

But overall we were a little upset about the way we were treated as the first ever graduating class, we thought they might like to celebrate with us. But apparently they didn’t give a shit.

The reunion was nice on Saturday. There was an OK turnout and the food was great (catered by Arthur’s Garden Deli in Rock Falls/Dixon) We had hillbilly golf and there were horseshoes and bocce ball.

After the reunion, Angela and I went to Princeton for Coffee and Wal-mart. Both coffee shops were closed so we went to Beck’s North and they just got in a new cappuccino machine. Mmmm… I tasted every kind and found that my two favorites were Creamy Caramel and Cinnamon Vanilla Nut. I had the Cinnamon Vanilla Nut and we went to Wal-Mart. I got the stuff I needed, and bought Bunco, and a card game called Big Fish Little Fish. I had a coughing/non-breathing fit in the game aisle when the last drop of cinnamon vanilla goodness went down the wrong pipe. Yikes! Then we went back to Carrie’s Sister Charlie’s for a cookout. I got to hold the baby for a while again, which was nice. That night, Carrie had to get some sleep so they could fly out in the morning, but Angela and I went to my house, and Anya came over with Ava. We put Ava to sleep in my spare bedroom and played games until 4:30 in the morning. We got a hang of Bunco and really enjoyed it.

On Sunday, Evan and I rolled out of bed around 1:30. We went to Princeton and ate lunch, and then went to Wal-Mart for bottled water. Again we stood in the game aisle. We bought the Pirates of the Caribbean Dice Game (the same one Will and Davey Jones play on the ghost ship) and the newest version of Clue. That evening, Evan and I went to Brad and Anya’s and played two rounds of Clue. It was the first time that Brad, Anya, or I had ever played. It was fun! Evan won the first round (he was totally cheating) and Anya won the second.

So Last night I spent several hours watching TV while organizing, cleaning, and doing laundry until 2am. I watched American Dad, Simpsons, Family Guy, Desperate Housewives, and last Thursday’s Grey’s Anatomy Episode. I picked up around the house, did laundry, dishes, etc… in preparation for the cleaning people coming today. Evan had to help get grain out of the bins at the farm today, so I know that tonight he will be dirty and smelly and exhausted. Poor Evan. I guess that means I should have a brilliant plan for supper. Perhaps Lasagna, since that is his favorite. Does this mean another trip to Wal-Mart? Mwwwaaaahahahahaha!

This morning I was feeling like I am on a different shift, after staying up till 2am Friday, 4:30am Saturday, and 2am last night. Whew! Night Owls!

Sunday I did get to order my birthday present from my husband (early) I got a baby pink wool double-breasted peacoat. Yum. I used to have a neat grey one from Victoria’s Secret. It cost me $200 when I was just out of college and it was the most expensive item of clothing I had ever owned. I wore it for years, and then I outgrew it, and last year I gave it to my mom in hopes that she could wear it, but it’s too tight on her also. So this year I got a new pink one, and pink gloves and a pink and black scarf already too. I am set to go!

Also Yesterday, I went to the attic and brought down all the games (board games, card games, dice games, etc.) and Organized them in the living room. They had been up there since before we remodeled and It was fun to get them all out. We have decided that we need to play more games together, Evan and I, and friends like Brad and Anya. I totally covet Cranium, and I wanted to buy it so badly, but it's like $19.99 at Wal-Mart when other games are $12 or $14.

Reunion Photos on Flickr
Cookout at Charlie's Photos on Flickr

Trenton Duckett Missing

As much as I DESPISE MySpace, this is a real story and it's worth reading. Just in case you haven't heard:

(this information from smopes.com) A 2-year-old boy named Trenton Duckett was reported as having gone missing from the bedroom of his home in Leesburg, Florida, around 9:00 PM on the evening of 27 August 2006, his mother saying that she last saw him about 7:00 PM that day. Investigating police found that a screen on a window in Trenton's room had been cut, evidence potentially indicating the boy had been abducted and taken out through the opening.

After several days of futile searches and no leads, the case took an unusual turn in the first week of September when Trenton's mother, Melinda Duckett, declined to take a polygraph test concerning her activities in the days before Trenton went missing, disappeared herself, and then committed suicide with a shotgun.

Since the suicide, investigators have been considering the possibility that Melinda Duckett staged her son's disappearance, and they spent five days conducting searches in and around Farles Lake in the Ocala National Forest (where Melinda said she had traveled with the boy the day before he was reported missing) without results. The case took yet another unusual turn on September 20 when the Florida Department of Law Enforcement revealed that Trenton's mother "was clearing out the apartment, emptying the refrigerator as if moving from the residence" the evening he went missing, and that invesigators had found Trenton's photographs, toys, and sonogram image in a trash bin at his mother's apartment complex the next day.

Trenton remains missing, and the search for him continues. A missing persons poster for Trenton can be viewed and printed from the web site of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. Anyone with information concerning Trenton's disappearance or whereabouts is urged to call 800-CALL-FBI or 800-423-TIPS.

View the Trenton Duckett MySpace Page

Spooky

Listening:
Three Days Grace- I Hate Everything About You and Just Like You
Puddle of Mudd- Control and She Hates Me
Wearing: Grey "Chicago 1977" Babydoll T, Jeans, Black Riveted Belt, Fuzzy Leopard Print Tennis Shoes

Two things I forgot to mention

We hung the ghosts in the tree last night. There are four of them and they look AWESOME. Husband bought spiderwire and you can't even see it. Awesome. I love them. Josh did an awesome job making them!


Second, I am disappointed in Cafe Press. I have been a shopkeeper for a while now. Okay. So I ordered two shirts. They arrived and I was pleased as punch. But really, all they are is like an iron on. After a couple of washes you can totally see where the edges of the iron on were. So they now officially look like crap. Especially on a white shirt. So I decided to MAKE MY OWN! I bought the Ink Jet transfers from Wal-Mart and have been cranking out Wonder Woman "Adventures In Everyday Life" T-shirts. I am having a ball. I haven't ironed them on yet (tonight) But I have my shirts bought and the logos designed and printed. The coolest thing? Cafe Press will not print licensed images, but my printer will! LOL. So. Goodbye Cafe Press and your overpriced $28.00 hooded sweatshirt that now looks crappy.

Why Grandma, what big EARS you have!!

If Casual Friday means "wake up late, throw your hair in a ponytail, and don't wear make-up" then yeah, I have TOTALLY nailed it!

Well, actually I woke up EARLY, because it's Friday and I tend to work about 2 hours early on Friday so that I can get out by 5 or 6. But the term late is relative to the 45 minutes that I snoozed the alarm.

So I had some wicked cool dreams last night. In one of them I was windsurfing with someone's baby. And there were some mean waves! First let me tell you I am not the adventurous type- and I can't swim.... so the whole windsurfing thing... would NEVER happen. And the baby.... I don't know whose baby it was, I can't remember. But a little baby, like 4 months, wearing a hat and mittens and wrapped up in a blanket sitting on the passenger seat (yeah, I know that windsurfing thingys don't have a passenger seat, or a seat at all, but as I was windsurfing, I could look over and see the kid sitting in the passenger seat, so bear with me.) And anya was surfing near me and she didn't have Ava and I kept saying "oh, the baby's mittens are getting wet! I bet she's cold!" and Anya would be like "you should'a doubled them up, you know? Two pairs!" And I felt bad. The waves kept splashing in the baby's face and I felt badly. It was like whitewater rapids. And one time I remember thinking "this is the way to Seatonville on Route 6 from Princeton. We are totally surfing on this road! it's like a whitewater rapids on Route 6."

Yeah. And that was followed directly by another dream, which now I am drawing a blank of. Damn. It was a good one too.

You know what I hate? The way old people drive in parking lots. When I am walking either through the parking lot or on a sidewalk, they literally drive like .0002 MPH as though at any moment I might throw my body in front of their vehicle. What. The. Fuck. I spend more time waiting for old people to get their car out of my way than anything. I think that once you turn 60 there should be mandatory driving tests each year. And I think that they should take them through a parking lot. And when they start that "I can go slower than a snail" crap, the instructor should slap a rolled up magazine across the dash and say "What. The. Fuck. If you ran over a WORM at this speed you wouldn't hurt it! Get it in gear grandma!" and scare the driving back into them before it's too late. And if they fail, then Medicare can buy them one of those nice scooters or a hover about and they can drive .002 mph on the sidewalk. But have you ever noticed that if you give them a scooter they suddenly go all Rat Fink? They have the bloodshot eyes and the 8 ball shifter and they cruise through the grocery store and cut people off and poke at you with their cane? They round corners as if there is no such thing as a blind spot. Who knew that there are hemi's in those damn old-people scooters! But put them in a car and get this debilitating need to drive .0002 MPH. It's an epidemic people! (P.S. Thanks to dad for raising me in an environment where Big Daddy Ed Roth was a household name.)

"I am totally in it for the Nuts"

Listening:
Emmylou Harris, Allison Krauss, and Gillian Welch- Didn't Leave Nobody But the Baby
Soggy Bottom Boys- I am a Man of Constant Sorrow
Wearing: This really cute and sparkly wine colored babydoll shirt, black pants, and those heeled mary janes (again!) with curly hair and sparkly rhinestone hair clips. Dangly wine colored earrings. Wedding Ring.
Eating: Chicken Fried Rice with 1 Eggroll
"Take Action" Link of the Day: Mom's are discriminated against while seeking employment, based on children and marital status.

I have had a bout a BAZILLION thoughts to blog about. Most of them brief. Then I sit down and I can't remember them. Argh!

Last night, as I was getting ready for bed, I saw a new pimple and I was like "NO!" and then I realized that THIS SATURDAY (as in like 2 days away) is my 10 year class reunion. And I did not, even ONCE think about what I might wear. What does that tell you? Well, I know what it tells me. I am so super comfy in my own skin and as myself, I am not even concerned about what I will wear. I see lots of my friends on a regular basis. No reason for this to be any different. Right? Am I wrong? Should I be shopping? Oh boy. Am I unprepared? Nah. I think I'll just wear my camo pants and my matching jimi hendrix t-shirt. I'ts my outfit that I feel super comfortable in, I have room to eat lots of food, and it reflects my personality. And when I wore it in Utah, my friends Carrie and Angela said "Oh you look so freakin cute!" so I guess that means it's A-OK. And now that I think about it, I wore it to Jackson's one weekend- so maybe he can give a seal of approval or vote for something else. I think I might curl my hair for something different than the same old straight hair. It's just an outdoor family picnic, and I am excited about it! I am thinking of going to the football game Friday night, it's the homecoming game. I guess I SHOULD wear school colors but I don't really have any... except my tennis shoes. So we will see. So comment people! Wear the Camo pants or go SHOPPING?!?!

Note to self- ask to borrow Anya's camera to take to the reunion since I haven't bought my new one yet.

So I finally made it to the salon to pick up the liter of shampoo they ordered for me when I left for Utah. I am a salon whore. Since I was 16, I have been loyal to three salons. IN all fairness, the first one closed and I followed my hairdresser's daughter to a new salon. Then I moved to my current Salon, Guys and Gals in Princeton, because my friend Kelly begged me to let her cut my hair, and she did such an awesome job, that I had to go to her. She can cut and color like no other. It's like she's inside my head. I almost don't have to tell her what I want. She just does it, and I always love it. I do, however, still go to Rita's Rendezvous because Trish Moon does the most excellent manicures and pedicures. Not to mention she is super cute, super sweet, and lots of fun. I just love her to death. She is also the one who initially convinced me to buy a CHI Ceramic Straightening Iron, and I usually buy my styling products from them because they have what I like, and they are super happy with ordering what they don't have on hand. It's difficult to find a salon that carries Biolage, and they have a huge selection of Big Sexy hair products, which I adore. So I split my time between two salons.

Another thing that dawned on me today. I do not like caramel as much as I am apparently supposed to. I know that sounds bizarre. But just today I realized for real that people REALLY like caramel. Hmm. I don't mind caramel topping. But it is NOT the first, or even second on my list. I don't really care a whole lot for caramel candy bars. I don't really care alot for eating caramels themselves (the square ones) and although I do LOVE me some taffy/caramel apples, I am not really one to sit and dip apples in melted caramel. I don't know what it is. I have just never been a real caramel fan. I guess I thought everyone just sort of tolerated caramel, but lately people have been making lots of comments about "oohh the caramel ones." I love turtles, but I am totally in it for the nuts (Bet you'd never thought I'd say that! LOL) and the chocolate. I guess that peanut butter and peanuts are my caramel. Give me a peanut butter cup, peanut butter M&M, or anything peanut and chocolate ANYDAY.

Just in case I haven't mentioned it enough, or in case you didn't HEAR me, I should tell you (again) that you should buy the Wreckers new CD. The entire CD is fabulous. I find myself singing along constantly. I also find me singing the songs without accompaniment occasionally.

Ohhh have any of you tried the new Blogger Spell Check lately? If you switch to Blogger Beta, you will love it! You click the spellchecking button and it HIGHLIGHTS all misspelled words in yellow. You can just scroll through and ignore all the ones that you know are your own "lingo" and then just click once on any highlighted word and suggestions pop up like in Office 2003. It's swEEt. One downfall. I thought that if I turned it on and then typed, it would show me what I was misspelling as I went along. But no such luck. It just highlights what you already have typed, not what you ARE typing incorrectly. But still, Wicked Cool. And I have alot of Lingo. People often say that I write as though I am really having a conversation. What they don't know, is that I grew up talking to myself. Another thing I got from Daddy-o. He talkes through and rationalizes everything, laying out his options to himself. When I first started working at my current job, co-workers would always say "Did you just say something to me?" and I would be all like "no." and they would say "Wow, I swore I heard you say something" and I would be like "Oh, I was talking just not to you?" and they would all look around because we would be the ONLY people there. So yeah, I talk to myself. And I like it. I even talk dirty to myself. Chew on that for a while, eh?

Overheard in the Office

A Brain That Dresses All Seductive but Won't Put Out?

Receptionist: What's a brainteaser?

16 Bailey Avenue
Ridgefield, Connecticut

Overheard by: Nikki

via Overheard in the Office, Sep 21, 2006

Good Morning HNT

Meagan, originally uploaded by Dazed81.

This is me this morning, before going to work. Happy HNT!

Spooks!

Listening:
Coheed and Cambria- Wake Up and Mother May I
Jack Johnson- Flake and Bubble Toes
Wearing: Black see-thru Shirt with white stripes and turned back cuffs, black knee length jumper, black tights, heeled Mary Janes.


Last night I did get Halloween Decorations up. Not all of them, but 99% of them.

Still missing the ground breaking skeleton and the scarecrow with his corn shock... but the rest is all ready. I also got side one of my metal ghosts painted. My good friend Josh, welder by trade, used a torch and took a spook that I had bought, and creatively created three more spooks for my tree out front. Last night we painted one side of them white, and tonight, we paint side two. I should take photos. Maybe once they are dried. Josh refused to take money as agreed upon, and therefore I now owe Josh a big bottle of Crown. Thanks Love!

Today I made a few graphics for the october coloriffic swap-o-rama swap. I forgot to sign up because I was in Utah over Labor Day Weekend when the swap deadline was, so I just made graphics instead. I also have made graphics for the past two swaps in that group, it's a fun time!

I love love love love fall. Last night we had some super tasty Ham and Potato Soup with Wheat Beer Bread. Yum!

Have a great night yourself! Kiss someone you love!

Bumper Stickers Go on the Water Heater

My dad passed alot of things on to me. My technical brain, and the ability to take apart and put back together lots of things. My love for electronics. My ability to rewrite lyrics on the fly to match my own whims. My love of oldies and rock and roll. My love for Dirt bikes and ATV's, and my like for snowmobiles. My love for beagles, cattle, and agriculture. My talent for drawing came from him. But the other thing he passed on to me? A respect and knowledge about cars.

My dad loves cars. He hates cars. He knows cars. He went to school in Omaha Nebraska for mechanics. He works for Caterpillar, where he started in 1977. He was laid off for 8 years straight. During that time he worked as a Diesel Mechanic at several semi garages. He worked for Hermie Gentz and Gentz Buick in Prophetstown, where he was a ASCE Certified "Mr. Goodwrench." Growing up we had great big old boats for cars. When I was little, we were cool. We had a 70's Blue 2-door Road Runner with White Racing Stripes and big fat tires. We had a Dodge. Dad had his '69 Road Runner. And we had his Black 1974 Ford F150 Truck with Gleaming Crager Rims and the extra chrome package. And then he got laid off. And he raised an entire family on less than half of what I make right now. And then my mom drove a booger green 4-door Buick. And then it was a tan 4-door Buick. Oh my poor mom. Not until the late late 90's did my mom get a used hunter green Bonneville. My dad could make any car run reliably, longer than anyone could possibly want a damn car to run. When the transmission went out in my 1981 Baby Blue Monte Carlo, dad and I put in a new one that was rebuilt out of an old white van. That man can fix anything.

And ultimately, no matter what your car looked like, or what kind of shape it was in, or how old it was, he taught us that you RESPECT your car. And you respect other people's cars. You don't lean on them. You dont sit things on them. You get the oil changed every 3000 miles or SOONER if it's a car with high miles or you expect it to last a long time. You don't go near a car with a zipper on your jacket or buttons and rivets on your jeans. You wash your car. You avoid chipped roads and fresh oil at all costs. You never let a pet ride in your car. You don't EVER throw rocks or basketballs near anyone's car. And probably MOST important, you NEVER EVER stick a bumper sticker on your car.

Our Bumper Stickers went on the water heater. It was a Rodgers' family tradition. Whenever you got a bumper sticker from anywhere, you went right to dad and asked permission to have that bumper sticker affixed to the water heater. And then with supervision, you went down to the basement and you helped dad pick out a spot where the bumper sticker would be carefully affixed by dad himself. THAT is what we do with bumper stickers. You do not, under any circumstances, defile a vehicle with something adhesive!

So when I didn't have a water heater of my own, I decided to stick bumper stickers to an old blue trunk I found. It's in the attic with all my high school goodies inside. But the Bumper Sticker on the water heater thing is a trick that I hope to pass down to my kids. It may seem silly to everyone else.... but I intend for my kids to respect their cars and other people's cars.

Case in point. The day a Turkey started roosting on my sister's black car. My sister was so pissed! She was worried that the paint would scratch and it almost brought her to tears. Dad went out there and chased the turkey around the car. He caught it, picked it up by the legs, and told mom to get in the car and she drove while he held that damn turkey out the window, upside down by his legs, and they took it to a Sand Prairie a few miles away, where he could run wild and free and NOT sit on my sister's car. Another example. When my old rusty, faded blue Monte Carlo was parked at the park, and we were all sitting on the picnic table, and a "friend" of mine decided that he should walk OVER the hood and the roof, and the trunk. Now. I didn't even SIT on that car. It wasn't perfect but I paid every god damn penny for that car and I paid for the insurance and the gas and all the repairs. And I had been taught to RESPECT a car, and ultimately, to respect other people's cars. To those spoiled rich kids who got GIVEN a new car, mine was a piece of crap. They weren't taught to respect cars, not their own, and not someone else's. I was so pissed I reamed that guy up one side and down the other. He said "What's it matter, it's a piece of junk! You paid like $1000 for it!" and I got so mad that I almost cried at that jackass. He has left a dent in the car and I was PISSED. It was about respect. That car was my property and you need to respect that.

I get so angry when I see kids along the street in town and they have handfulls of rocks and those little bastards throw them at passing cars. When I was in college that happened to me once and I stopped the car and went back and chewed the kids' ass. I don't like kids throwing snowballs at cars. Ultimately, you teach your kids to respect cars. If not yours and their own, you teach them to respect other people's cars.

I am very grateful that my dad taught me respect. And that he taught me that bumper stickers go on the water heater.

Pie Eyed

Watching: Johnny Knoxville on Late Night with Conan O'Brien
Wearing: Pajama pants and a matching shirt, pink thong slippers
Baking: A pumpkin pie and an apple pie

It's hard cooking late at night. Because my mom is sleeping. And when I have a question like how in the hell can I make a pie with heavy cream when I can't find it at any grocery store in the midwest (okay, at Wal-Mart in Princeton) and I just want to make the damn pie. So I looked on the internet for a substitution. I found a few. The most mentioned was the butter and milk combination. But I don't think it was as effective, especially since I only keep skim milk. I think that I should have tried the evaporated milk substitute instead.

So the pumpkin filling wasn't thick enough, and I worried. I mixed up enough to make two pumpkin pies. But after seeing how runny the filling was, I panicked a bit and decided to make an apple pie as pie number 2, just in case the pumpkin one wouldn't set... I would hate to bake 2 pies and have them both be a bomb. But now the pumpkin is set about 3 inches around the edge, so I hope the rest will set in a few minutes. I will practically be awake all night baking at this point, LOL.

Pies are NOT my forte. My mom makes good pies, but even she has issues now and then. I have watched her angrily toss out enough botched pie crusts in my time to know that pies are touchy. Practice would probably make perfect, but I have resorted to buying refrigerated or boxed crusts so that I can eliminate the crust factor and concentrate on the filling. I need to take a pie baking class!

I can bake all kinds of breads, from scratch, and be incredibly successful. Other people get frustrated and are amazed with my patience and success of baking bread and rising dough. I can bake cookies, tea rings, roast turkeys, make salads, can veggies, make soup and chili from scratch, and make homemade tortellini. But I really don't like making pies.

Oh the center of the pumpkin pie is setting! I am using two of my Pampered Chef Stoneware Pie pans. My mom hates those. She always says that her crust burns before the center gets done because the stoneware takes longer to heat up. I use the pie crust shield from Pampered Chef and as long as I put it on within the first 8-10 minutes, I don't have a problem. Of course my mom doesn't have a whole lot of patience when it comes to letting the stone heat up and turning the heat down a bit so that the crust doesn't get done so fast.

You know, it's a small world. Case in Point? The commercial I just saw on TV. Let me start at the beginning. When I went to college, I took classes with a guy named Ty Kipp from a couple of towns over. Besides having a porn star name, Ty is super nice, and a good looking, really built guy. The broad shouldered type, like my husband, and I LOVE the broad shouldered type.

We always got along and I had alot of fun with him and other friends at school. Once I left college, I rarely if ever saw him. I probably didn't see him in 7 years. Then my sister started dating a guy who was in my class in college! Strange! and we had been good friends too, and rode to class and field trips together quite often as the only two people from our area. Well, they didn't date long, but right around that time I went to the bar in Mineral with her and ran into Ty and another classmate. Talk about wild. They had never put two and two together that she was my sister.

So Ty and Liz (sis) play on the same sand volleyball team, and I see him about once a month or so. As I was sitting here watching Conan, A commercial came on the TV for Weber Meats in Geneseo. I was busy typing and I happened to look up, JUST as I saw Ty on the screen! What?! Thank god for TIVO because I rewound and sure enough. He had his head down but I was sure it was him. I called Liz (because she is always awake) and clarified that he does work at Weber in Geneseo. Cool! Not everyday you see someone you know on TV. At least not here. Around here even the weather man is a celebrity. So I told her "you HAVE to tell Ty I saw him on TV!" And I explained to her that when we were in school, we went to Weber Meats for a lab, for our meat evaluation class. I can't remember if Ty was in that class with me or not... because that was 8 years ago!

Now the Pumpkin Pie is out and the Apple Pie is in the Oven. I can't wait for it to cool so I can put the cool whip on top. Mmmm.

UPDATE: I took the apple pie out of the oven at 1:45am. Then I fell fast asleep and had a dream that I was back in college and that I was skinny! (I was fairly skinny then) and I had long hair (in the dream) and I was at like an arcade playing Atari with Ty and when it was time to part ways, he kissed me! What the? Now this morning I was a little upset that I didn't kiss him in college- although a dream kiss is probably better I suppose. At least this one probably was. Plus I dated my husband all through college, I was only there like two months before we "officially" got it together. So I didn't get to kiss any college guys. Oh well. So this morning I was like "hmmm, I should convince my sister to ask Ty out. He's a great guy, just what she needs. They could get married. He would be an awesome uncle to my kids. "Uncle Ty." It has a nice ring to it. And someday, Ty is going to google his own name (or maybe someone will do it for him) and he will find this and be like What? The Fuck?

Desperate

Listening: The Wreckers- Cigarettes
Link for the Night: Get a Free Desperate Housewives T-Shirt

Prepare to Be Boarded!

Listening:
Rage Against The Machine- Down Rodeo
Mindless Self Indulgence- Straight to Video
Beastie Boys- Rhymin' and Stealin'
Wearing: Cargo Khakis, Brown V Neck T-shirt, American Eagle Shoes, Fake Ponytail, no makeup
Link of the Day: http://www.dresslikeapirate.com/

Last night you can see I obviously accomplished watching Wife Swap. AND husband had made chili to go with my beer bread, and we feasted and watched the season opener for "How I Met Your Mother." The toilet broke and husband had to get a new piece and fix it so it would flush. Then I balanced checkbooks and paid bills while he prepped ham and potato soup that we will have tonight for supper. Yum! The ham and potatoes were in the crock pot all night and this morning the house smelled wonderful. Today he will add the soup and it will be delicious!

So a few things off my list. Still haven't made those pesky ATC's or the pumpkin pie. One day at a time folks! I didn't get the bills paid and everything balanced until about 1:30am. Then I fell fast asleep.

Today, I suppose I am in an okay mood. I slept in and instead of getting ready for work as usual I just threw on clothes and my fake ponytail and didn't put on any make-up. Usually when I don't wear make-up, people steer clear of me. I have blonde eyelashes, so without mascara, they always think I am "tired" or "sick" and it cracks me up.

Today I wish I had a cool job like when I used to work at grain elevators. Somewhere that there isn't a "dress code" and where you wouldn't get fired for donning a little pirate garb and answering the phone like a pirate. A place where your customers would actually get into it and appreciate your enthusiasm and some entertainment.

I hate dress codes. HATE. THEM. We even have a dresscode for casual Friday's at my workplace. AND you have to PAY to participate in Casual Friday. Yeah.

Well, it's breezy and overcast today, and I got to wear my new coat (yeah!) and I enjoyed every second of it. Except my coat has this really cool feature that is kinda strange. It zips up the front, but then it has these magnetic strips inside the flap that goes over the zipper. They just magnetize themselves so you don't have to button them. But this morning coming into work, I had unzipped my coat, and when I walked through the door to the office (the frames are metal/steel whatever) My coat sucked me to the door frame. LOL. I cracked up. So I had to de-magnetize myself. I have always known that I have a magnetic personality. LOL.

Today I ordered my ladies pirate hat and some stripedy knee socks from the website of the day. I may have also ordered a copy of Cap'n Slappy and Ol Chumbucket's Pirattitude... Also got the idea (instead of paying $22) to make a keyring for the skeleton keys that work all the inside doors for our house, in case on halloween (or just whenever I feel like dressing like a pirate) I can threaten to lock someone in the gallows.

Well, that's all the joy I can spread for right now. Have a fabulous day!

Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

8. Come on up and see me urchins.

7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.

5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?

4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.

2. Well blow me down?

And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …

1. Prepare to be boarded.

Achieve

Motivational Poster, originally uploaded by maypapers.

"The Plastic Exterior is All I Saw"

Wow. I really loved Wife Swap. I have so much to say!

As usual, I can identify with both sides. I love to organize and label. But my house really isn't nearly as organized as Lisa Fine's house. I try to keep my sanity and know where things are. I try to create a place for everything, but the worst thing is that I can't keep everything in it's place. :)

As far as Tori's life, I am not the cleanest person. I have dirty dishes on the counter and in the sink. You will probably find dirty socks on the floor. The bed isn't always made and there is dog hair in the corners. That's life.

Probably the first thing that I noticed about Lisa? Her comments about appearance and about society and "judging a book by it's cover." She said "Society Does Judge Books By Their Covers." Was probably a true statement. But the first thing I thought when viewing the "talk like a pirate" website and you tube videos? That Ol Chumbucket was an attractive man that had a certain charisma and charm. I immediately thought that Mad Sally was a lucky wife. But later on in the show, Lisa makes him shave his head and cut off his beard so that he will "look like everyone else" (her exact words) and she justifies it by telling John "This is the real world. We don't get to make the rules, we just have to play by the rules." That disturbed me. You raise your children by telling them that they have to play by the rules? Whose rules? Wow. Whatever happened to thinking for yourself? I felt terrible for John. She made him wear suit and TAN. She made him go to work as a "filer" when he clearly explained to Lisa that he worked a 9 to 5 job for years and that there was more satisfaction from doing something that he loved. She treated him as though he had never been a responsible adult and as though he had never had a job. He made the comment "John has been erased."

I also noticed that the first thing Lisa's daughter said to Tori (Mad Sally) was that she was pretty. Instantly I thought that was a suck-up technique, but Tori noticed it as "judging her by her appearance" which I guess was true. And then later Lisa's daughter got angry and said that Tori smelled and insisted that Tori wash all her clothes (those that she had brought with her.)

I thought it was also interesting how Tori scoffed at their typical "my daughter's a cheerleader" comment made in Lisa's letter. I can't imagine that when you introduce or describe your child, you describe her as a "cheerleader." She's a 13 year old girl. Wouldn't you say "She's a loving, smiling, intelligent daughter." or perhaps list her qualities, and not label her as a cheerleader? That poor little girl. It amazed me as she proceeded to completely break down when told she couldn't do cheerleading for a week, and when she cried and said "I will do my laundry, I will wear Pink, and I will cheer." and then again when she cried because she wasn't able to function without her Make-up. I am sorry, but as a 13 year old I was NOT allowed to wear makeup, and certainly not everyday. Not to mention crying over it? It seemed so insane to me!

And Tori hit it on the head when she said that Lisa was teaching her daughter to be perfect at all times, and that "perfect is unattainable." And how about her daughter's comment that she has to spend all the time "picking out the perfect outfit" each morning and that she has to be perfect, or "I might have no friends and be a loner like (Tori)" Wow. True friends don't care if you are perfect. And not all 13 year old's get that, but wouldn't you, as a mom, make it a priority to let your daughter know that being herself, even if she isn't perfect, is more important than being fake?

I also got a kick out of the Fine family's "proper way to fold clothes" and Mad Sally's comment "Why would you spend all that time folding clothes that you aren't even keeping?" Um. Yeah. And their answer "That's just how it's done."

I really was very turned-off by Lisa's husband. He made CONSTANT rude comments to Tori. "Sally Constantly Questions Me." He found it annoying to be challenged or questioned. Wow. (we all know a woman shouldn't have her own thoughts or ideas.) He also said (about Sally's Rules) "That's really intelligent (sarcastically.)" and "You are ridiculous." Then later "A pirate as a role model is ridiculous." And then Lisa's daughter saying "Pirates have mental issues." LOL.

Over at the pirate ship, I thought that the family was actually fairly reasonable. Of course they could use some organization. Like so Max knows where his pajamas are. The kids could use some rules. The fleas could go. But those things aren't the end of the world. I love that their kids are encouraged to be creative and themselves. I love that they don't put labels on everything (I mean figuratively, although I guess in this case it applies literally too!) The feminist in me was a little disturbed when Lisa told the daughter "How are you going to take care of a family" as though her entire existence and growing up was only to culture her to be a wife and mother. I also noticed that when discussing her own daughter earlier in the show, she said that she would "make someone a wonderful wife." ugh.

I really think that John and Sally are both very well versed people. My favorite part of the show? Just after she forced John to get his hair cut, shave off his beard, tan, wear a suit, and go to a "real job" -- Lisa was complaining about clutter and disorganization and dirt. John said "So Let's Deal with the Clutter! But stop trying to make me your husband. Stop trying to make us YOU! You are SO worried about appearances that you forget what's inside!" True. So so True.
I liked how the pirate kids made comments like "I am not fucking Suzy Homemaker" and "It feels so weird to be putting my life into categories (when organizing and sorting into totes)"

Sally was right when she said to Lisa "your kids are afraid to make a mess in the house because of you. They are trying to live up to your expectations." And I did enjoy it when she said that everything was rigid and that "the plastic exterior is all I saw." I did notice that Lisa's kids REALLY enjoyed building the pirate ship and doing the play. It was like they were laughing and being creative. It was great.

But at the end, after Lisa got home, I heard Craig say to the kids "Put those in alphabetical order" and I about died. LOL.

What a show. I know that they cut out full conversations to make it seem so dramatic and that some comments out of context can mean completely different things. But it was a great show.

So, did you watch it? What did you think?

Homework for my Readers!

Listening To: Big and Rich Caught Up In The Moment
Eating: Apple
Wearing: Black Scoopneck Ballet Top, Black Skirt with lace Hem, Black Tights and Black Heeled Mary Janes, Wedding Ring, Black Dangly Earrings, Black Necklace.

Reminder: Tonight, Wife Swap Premiere with Mad Sally.... Tomorrow, International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Things for my Readers To Do:
Readers, Watch Wife Swap tonight and write a 3 paragraph summary, reporting back here tomorrow to post it in the comments.

Also- go visit the Absent Canadian. He is my new renter, a Canadian transported and living in North Carolina. It looks like he links to some places that I visit frequently. My very favorite part of his blog so far? I know this is bizarre... but in his about me area he has a comment from "vanessa" and in the comment she says "I had the BIGGEST Crush on you in high school" and I thought to myself (and later to my husband) WHY would you SAY That to anyone? If you had a crush on them, why would you EVER mention it? And if you did, WHY would you do it via a comment posting on the INTERNET? Oh Vanessa. Is your middle name stalker? Poor chicky. She needs help. If anyone can find her myspace page, let me know, I would love to see it. LOL. (You know how much I DESPISE MySpace.)

Things for Meagan To Do:
Bake the pumpkin pie already
Laundry
Clean the Scrapbook Room Table so I can make my ATC's
Make the ATC's that I am so terribly behind on
Balance the Checkbook and Write out the Checks for Bills
Configure my router to allow VOIP Traffic through over download traffic
Take a Walk with the dogs again
Pay for my Halloween Costume
Work on my Fall Swap package for Anka from Germany

So I have officially started my fall apple addiction. I had two apples last night and one this morning on the way to work and I am eating another one right now as I type. My favorite apples are Johnathan's. I love tart apples. Not mushy, not sweet. Tart. And I have a green apple right now. Yum! I would love to run an apple orchard.

What's your favorite kind of apple to munch on?

Will They EVER Stop?

You know I love iPods. Love. Love Love Love. I have a shuffle, because I am cheap. I love it. It is fabulous. Lately I have been itching to carry around more than 1GB and itching to see what I have on there and flip through songs while seeing what is coming up. I love the shuffle option, but then again I am starting to create more playlists, etc. I covet. The nano. I KNOW! I can't help it! But hey, as CB's hubz says "Go Big or Go Home" and I am DYING for a Nano. I won't admit it to my husband. He would say I don't NEED it. Of course I don't NEED IT! but that shiny, black 8GB, full color screen. Oy. It is so seXy! So I am telling myself.... save $$ for your camera. Then Save $$ for a nano.

And have you SEEN the new Shuffle! Oh! I am so JEALOUS!!!! It CLIPS! It's even SMALLER! Oh god almighty. It hurts. It hurts me to look at how wonderful it is.

And of course the Nano has been redesigned. And I think to myself, will there be another one in like a matter of MONTHS that will make the Nano obsolete? Oh the drama!

For Christmas I have asked for the DLO (Digital Lifestyle Outfitters) Transdock Micro FM Transmitter. It charges the iPods in your car and does the FM Transmitter deal. We had an FM transmitter and it was crapola. Cheap version. Cheaper than Belkin. And I am dying to play the iPod in the car, but when it's all static and you have to crank the volume up 10 thousand times to hear it, it has poor quality like when you used to record off the radio or from Record (LP) to tape. So I ditched it. But Brad and Anya have an FM Transmitter that rocks hard, and husband says that Joe's is awesome.... So this is the one I have been eyeing. What better way to try out an FM transmitter than with a new Nano? Right? Oh boy.

I love iTunes. Because of Carrie, hubz and I are looking at downloading Mike Birbiglia CD's. I always have a list of things that I want to buy off there. So for the birthday and Christmas I also asked for iTunes gift cards. Yum. Music is goodness.

Work? Tomorrow? Are you SURE!?

Sunday. It's like the good and the bad. It means Monday is on the way. It usually means I have to clean and do laundry. But in a way it also is the day of just being at home, relaxing, cooking or baking, lighting candles and snuggling up on the couch, or sleeping in. And there are great shows on- War at Home, American Dad, Family Guy, and The Simpsons. Desperate Housewives. How about tonight's episode of American Dad where Stan is anorexic? My FAVORITE part was his excercise/dancing around in legwarmers and a cut sweatshirt, to Deniece Williams' "Let's hear it for the boy." Ahhh Sunday.

This weekend was the Strut Your Mutt Dog walk. I wrote an entire post about it Saturday night, published it and everything, and went back this morning and it was gone? Messed up. SO let's suffice it to say that we had a great time and it was the best one we have been to yet, complete with a cake walk with real doggie cakes as dessert prizes for the dogs.

I am watching the Girls Next Door and this episode is their trip to Europe. Of course like any girl going on a trip, the girls get their hair done, nails done, pedicures, brows waxed, buy new outfits, make lists and pack their luggage, decide on their shoes... BUT they get to fly on a private plane and take their own hair and make-up artist on the trip. When they arrived, the press and photographers were EVERYWHERE. And somehow they STILL got a playboy tour bus to ride on. I don't know how. Maybe they just stuck a sticker on it? I dunno. Kendra mentioned that the Queen has the same dog (Welsch Corgi) as she does. She kept on telling Hef to let the queen know that they were there so they could go over and meet her. She said "The Queen and I have alot in common." Oh god. She said "I don't understand why the Queen wouldn't want to see Hef. I mean, they're both 80!" Ohhhhh Kendra. They went up in the big ferris wheel and saw Big Ben. Holly said that in London it was "weird" she said "The weather was bad, gloomy and rainy and there were no people walking dogs." Of course Kendra decided to flash Parliament from their boat ride. She said "I have no idea what Parliament is, but all I know is I flashed 'em."

I should be making my ATC's that I am behind on. WHAT Is wrong with me? Tomorrow we are making soup. Either Ham and Potato or Chili. Probably Ham and Potato if I have my way! Today I baked Beer Bread. It is super tasty. I wanted to bake Pumpkin Pie but I kinda ran out of time. Like it's almost 10pm and I haven't even STARTED laundry this weekend. Yeah.

Later...

Watching the Mad TV Season opener. (TIVO'd) And I love the Survivor Spoof. Have you all seen the new survivor (really) where they split the teams up by race? WTF?! I don't like survivor as it is, but that's just ridiculous. So the spoof splits them up and they are called "Team Soy Sauce" (Asian Americans); "Team Chicken and Waffles" (African Americans); "Team Burrito" (Mexican Americans) and "Team White Bread" (REAL Americans.) Freakin' Hilarious. Survivor is only on CBS "The Caucasian Broadcasting System. (continuing blatant stereotypes)" Then they proceed to sway the whole thing. They have a firestarting challenge, and give the mexicans a flint stone, the asians get a match, the black group gets "a glass of water" and the white group gets a "firestarting kit with gasoline, dry twigs, a lighter, and a DVD of firestarting techniques." Too freaking hilarious. Carlos Mencia would love this.

And then their spoof of Disney's High School Musical features a pregnant cheerleader who sings "There's a bun in my oven, from after school lovin', with Lazy Eyed Janitor Joe." I personally have always loved Mad TV more than Saturday Night Live.

Did any of you see that the season premire of one of the Law and Order's is like a complete spoof of Brittney and Kevin? I about died laughing when I saw that. The "pop star mommy" who looks unbelievable like Brit, and her "rapper husband" who looks as badly dressed and unshaven as K-Fed. It cracked me up. I hope they are watching it at home. I just read the recent People Interview with Britney that has photos of her and SPF, and she talks about being pregnant and how it "just happened." Oh boy. She talks about getting back into shape, and her new album.

Husband and I were talking the other night about how there will probably never again be any great bands/musicians like Led Zeppelin (that's what started the conversation) because everything in the music business is so poppy and overproduced and there is too much importance put on how people look and the image of a band that the real musicians are often overlooked.

I am officially hooked on Men in Trees. The second episode sealed it as a show that will stay on my TIVO list.

What do you think about Kate Hudson? First, it's obvious that she is freaking adorable. Everyone probably knows it. With her whole marriage to Chris Robinson breaking up, I am actually kinda relieved. I saw her in an interview and she was talking about sex and drugs and rock and roll and I was just like Blah. Go be a mom to your kid. It's like, do you WANT to be your mother? Does anyone have respect for Goldie Hawn? I don't know. So they all say that Kate was getting with Owen Wilson, who is freaking adorable too, so I guess I wouldn't be surprised. But is it true? Oh the gossip. I did like her in Almost Famous, and in Raising Helen. But I haven't seen You me and Dupree.... yet.

The night of TIVO is about over, and turning into the night of laundry.
Have a good week.

Is that your sword... or are you just happy to see me?

So I ordered my Halloween Costume (from eBay). In light of the last post, I assume that you aren't surprised to see that I will be a pirate. So give up the Rum and Booty. My biggest problem? If the costume doesn't fit or look okay I will have to sell it and pick out another one. BUT I hope that it fits. My sister and I usually costume up each year and hand out halloween candy. Although this costume might be a little risque. Last time we did that together was two years ago, I was a gypsy and she was a dirt bike racer. Before that, she was a french maid and I was a witch. The good thing is that she is the size (or a little smaller) than I used to be, so she can wear all my old costumes.

So I have been trying to find a good Tri-Hat. I have a few in mind, and the REALLY cool ones are like $75.00! So unless I intend to be a pirate several times a year, I would have to get a cheaper, probably felt or "leather look" tri-hat. But first, I must see if the costume fits. I am most excited to wear the eye patch. And have the dagger. Hopefully the Dawg House (bar in Wyanet) has a costume party, this Saturday they are having 80's night. I don't know if I can go, but if I do, I need some serious help because I didn't keep any 80's stuff. No banana clips, no leg warmers, no acid wash jeans, no jelly sandals, no geometric print button down shirts or long necklaces tied in knots. Mom said that she threw out banana clips AND two or our crimping irons last week. Bummer! LOL.

So another goal of the weekend is to finish some ATC's that I am behind on. I have 3 "Something Sparkly" and 3 "Woman Theme" and then the "Back to the Future" themed ones to complete. I mailed my Halloween Stamped Images swap. I just started a swap with a woman from Germany, I am very excited about. We have decided to do ours with a fall theme, kind of earthy and rustic colors. Our self-set deadline is October 15th.. and I can't wait to start looking for swap items! Yeah! I am at my best when I am swapping!

Well, you all have a great weekend. Relax and enjoy the weather!

Grab the Cannon by the Balls, Savvy?

If you know me, you know I like Pirates. And of course the Pirates of the Caribbean with dashing figures such as will turner and jack sparrow (haven't I always loved johnny? oh yessss I have!) just makes me all the more pleased. For a few years I have followed International Talk like a Pirate Day. They are my Flickr friends. And everyone knows Flickr is SO Much cooler than MySpace...

And today, I am thrilled to share with you...

On an upcoming episode of Wife Swap, Mad Sally (wenchy wife to the International Talk Like a Pirate Day Co-Founder Ol' Chumbucket Baur) is swapped with what she describes as a "a rigidly ordered, controlled and controlling family who, I swear on Great Neptune's man nipples, actually lives by the credo, "appearance is everything." They actually said, "You judge a book by its cover." The episode airs on September 18th, Fittingly, the day before September 19th, wich IS International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

I fully intend to NOT miss that episode. September 18th. Mark your calendar or ye shall walk the plank fer shor. I'll be back and we will blog about Mad Sally's experience, here on this very page, on September 19th, International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

I want you to know that I am, as I am typing, rapping along to Beastie Boys' Rhymin' and Stealin' because I know every word, I love the Beastie Boys, and it's the perfect piratey good song. Check our Mad Sally's account of her experience on wife swap. If she's mad, she is a Madly Literate and well versed lady. And a Great writer. She should blog on the International Talk Like A Pirate Day Website, if you want my opinion.

Or, if you really want to get prepared, Watch the videos so that you know just how to act and talk like a pirate on September 19th (or if you are me, any other time the feeling might strike ya.) Have you gave any thought as to how you might answer the phone at work that day? Or what about other questions? Well, you can just Ask Capn' Slappy. Got Kids? Well, we should ALL know how to sing the Pirate Song.... your kids will LOVE you for this! Or why not teach them how to Swagger? It's all about pirattiude. And whatever you do, don't forget the Five A's.

Thank God for TIVO

I am loving this cool weather. Fall is my FAVORITE season, and my favorite holidays are Halloween and Thanksgiving, so I am starting to hit my peak. It's like my annual peak season. I've got the fall wreath up, and a pumpkin, and soon it will be time to decorate OUTSIDE the house. Think cornshock, hay bale, Scarecrow, and Pumpkins and Mums, like 2004. Or perhaps wayyy back in the archives to 2003 when Pooches LOVED pumpkins.

Fall! Fall! Fall!

I have been eyeballing, for a long long long time, dark orange colored plates. Just the dinner plates. To use at Thanksgiving and put in the dining room hutch I will someday have. But everytime I see some, it's like $160 for 12 plates. So last night I was in Wal-Mart and they had them for $2.46 a piece, so I put 13 of them on layaway, and it will cost me THIRTY ONE DOLLARS. Awesome.

I also bought myself a cute lightweight reversible jacket for $22.00, since I haven't bought a new coat in about.... 5 years.... and it only cost $22.00 It's pink and black, sorta windbreaker fabric, with a pink fleece lining and a hood. AND it's reversible so it's a fleece jacket too! Sweet!

So last night I watched TV in bed with two People magazines and a bag of Soft and Chewy Oatmeal Raisin Cookies. Now THAT is what I call a night.

I was seeing all the previews for the new fall line-up shows, and Desperate Housewives is claiming to have "regained" the fire and drama that they had in season 1 and lost in season 2. Grey's Anatomy is now going up against CSI... but I haven't really watched the regular CSI in a while, unless it was a rerun on cable. I love CSI Miami though. I LOVED Conviction last year (eric Balfour, yummy!) but it's been axed for this season. Not that you care, but Shows I TIVO?

Desperate Housewives
Grey's Anatomy
Family Guy
American Dad
The Simpsons
Girls Next Door
CSI Miami
The War at Home
Law and Order
Law and Order SVU
Crossing Jordan
Mind of Mencia
Men in Trees
The New Adventures of Old Christine

I am a crime drama/law and order/CSI freak. I love that shit. I have watched Law and Order reruns like there is NO tomorrow. I watched two last night alone. There's that one new show on, that is supposed to be the "best new show on television..." and I can't remember what it is. Argh! I thought that I would set it to TIVO and see what happens.

Really I shouldn't even say TIVO, since that is a brand name, and we have DVR (digital video recording), but I am afraid if I just say DVR you won't know what I am talking about.

If I could keep up with more shows, I would go back to TIVO-ing Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Moral Oral, and Pee-Wee's Playhouse. But I just don't have time to watch ALL of that. LOL.

And did you KNOW that I could be a writer for the New York Times? I came across this article today where they said the show Men in Trees is like "Sex and the City meets Northern Exposure" (It's by the writers of Sex and the City) and I was like HELL-O? Did I NOT just say Northern Exposure? I thought so. Do you suppose the Times has a need for an Illinois freelance writer? LOL.

Another show I sort of wondered about, if only for it's delightfully politically incorrect title, is ABC's Ugly Betty. But I get this "She's all that" vibe (pretty girl made "ugly and smart" for a movie/television role gets made pretty again when she falls in love with the football star/prom king/etc.) and while I enjoy feel good romantics, I am SO not in high school anymore and I have enough GOOD shows to watch as it is that I am really not interested.

And (shoot me now) I have never seen the Movie Friday Night Lights. Maybe I feel like it hits a little too close to home, now that all the annoying Bureau Valley parents take over the bar in prep for football season, and annoyingly make us all watch homemade montage DVD's with clips of last year's football games set to music like "Riding the Storm Out" and "We Will Rock You." We all sit there at the end of the bar where the sane people are, and look at them incredulously. It's like CAN YOU see YOURSELVES? Is football THE Most important thing in your family's life? Can't you watch this in your living room? It's one thing to be proud of your kid. It's a good thing. But if you weren't shoving it down our throats before the new season even began, we might even be proud of him too. But jeez. I loved football season. My husband played. My friends played. But it was more fun being Manlius/Tampico Red Warriors than it ever was being "Bureau Valley Storm." Mostly because it got to be more about "how much do our uniforms cost" and "how many different t-shirts can we sell with our logo on it" than WOW you guys did AWESOME out there. It became more about the cheerleaders and the parents than the players themselves. I don't know anymore.

I am planning on going to the Bureau Valley homecoming game this year. It's my 10 year class reunion that weekend, and we are hoping that they will call out our class so that we can go onto the field at halftime. If it means anything, I hope that they can look at us, the first EVER graduating class of Bureau Valley (1996), and realize that the school was formed with much different ideas than it has now. It was formed to offer more classes and opportunities to all students. It wasn't about having new uniforms. It was about art classes and agriculture and foreign language. A newspaper and community involvement. It was about a BETTER EDUCATION!

We all came together and made new friends. And most importantly, I hope that it says to these stupid parents living vicariously through their children, that THERE IS LIFE AFTER HIGH SCHOOL and don't you god damn ever forget it. High School Football will not be the most entire thing your kid ever does. So make sure that your kids are doing their homework and passing their classes! Teach them how to be involved in their family and their community.

So that aside, I am intrigued by the fall TV version of Friday Night Lights. Honestly, I wouldn't have given it a second look if it hadn't been for Kyle Chandler playing their coach. That guy, he's awesome. I remember way back when he was Jeff Metcalf on the show Homefront. I used to love that show. When he showed up as the bomb guy on Grey's Anatomy, I almost swooned to the floor. All I wanted was for him to get together with Meredith. Fuck McDreamy. Kyle Chandler is HOT. So that said, I might TIVO an episode and just see what I think. But I don't think I can stomach it without comparing someone in the show to some egotistical Bureau Valley fan.

When I was in High School, I would have compared "Friday Night Lights" to Annawan. We hated Annawan. They were the ONLY team we wanted to beat. They were cocky. They thought they were perfect. All their cheerleaders and girlfriends looked like they would have a career in playboy. We ALWAYS, for generations, said there was something in the water over there. And I made lots of friends from Annawan in FFA, but I tell you, they were COCKY football players. I remember every single game we played against them, VIVIDLY. I remember how they used to ring that damn bell after every game they won and then one year we (not me directly, but someone from our school) drove over there and stole the bell. It was great.

Typical High School Football Rivalry. But the way Bureau Valley is now, it's sickening. Even Annawan didn't come close to the behaviour of Bureau Valley. Actually people around here are likening the Bureau Valley fans and players to those of Hall High School, where 90% of the athletes shoot steroids and 99% of the parents, teachers, and school administration look the other way. It's tough. Because how do you show someone who is that caught up that they are overreacting and "THIS IS ONLY HIGH SCHOOL. IT'S NOT LIFE!!!"

So, enough of that rant. If this doesn't give you something to comment about, nothing will.

And I suppose there is a chance I could attract some 'roid rage from some hall fans, or perhaps sone drunk Bureau Valley parents, But I will take that chance.

And P.S. - I have ALWAYS hated cheerleaders. If you think the only reason they spread their legs is for the splits, you're kidding yourself.

Uncle Sam HNT??

So I am BACK! It's HNT time and this morning when I was drying my hair (I flip my head upside down) I actually had clothes on and I was like WOW my legs look longish from this angle! And with my stripedy pants I thought I had those Uncle Sam on Stilts kind-of legs. (in a sexy uncle sam way of course) SO- here to fulfill all your Uncle Sam Fantasies,

Juicy Fantasies

You know, I get really pissed off when a bunch of dot com auction seller people go to websites like Pottery Barn Kids and buy 10 of really cool and already expensive enough seasonal limited edition items like this one. Because then when innocent and cheap people like me finally talk themselves into buying one because it's all they can think about when they have an orgasm, the kick ass item is SOLD OUT. But then when you go on eBay those jackasses who paid $64.00 for it are charging $84 to $99 dollars for the damn things and if I thought I couldn't justify it at $64.00 it makes it damn hard to swallow when I have to pay twice as much for it because I can't sleep at night unless I have it.

Bastards.

And by the way, how come when I disappear for 5 days, you start commenting out the ass, but when I post 17 times in one day, no one says a god damn thing?

Men in Trees

Tonight I happened across the pilot episode of "Men in Trees" on ABC. It stars Anne Heche as a relationship coach and book author who goes to Alaska for a speaking engagement and discovers that her Fiance is cheating on her. Yeah. And she realizes that all she thought she knew about men and relationships was wrong. So she has to start over.

It was pretty good. Not like Desperate Housewives or Grey's Anatomy, but she is rescued by a handsome guy and ends up scantily clad at least twice before the show ends.

It was cute and I did setup the DVR to record the series. It is a 1 hour show and the pilot episode will be re-run this Friday at 7pm on ABC (channel 8 WQAD in our area) and then right after the pilot they will show the second episode at it's regular time, 9/8central.

I am charmed by the small town of Elmo, Alaska... it makes think of shows like Northern Exposure and also the book Gone with the Nerd by Vickie Lewis Thompson.

Wipe Out

Bruised Foot/Toes, originally uploaded by Dazed81.

Here's the pics of my foot and knee from when I wiped out this past Saturday. It's actually starting to fade. I can't seem to get the camera to make it show up as dark as it is in person. Am I a klutz or what? Make the pics bigger to see detail. Ouch!

Seeing Stars

Seeing Stars, originally uploaded by Dazed81.

There's about a thousand more pictures in the "Ava" album on Flickr.

Cheap Thrills

Cheap Thrills, originally uploaded by Dazed81.

After playing, Ava was cranky. I set her on the couch with me and she pulled the pillow over her stomach. Evan came in with an empty Paper Towel Tube and held it out to her and she spent almost 10 minutes "scratching" it. She loves to scratch with her nails. She started to look sleepy, so Evan started to lightly touch her hand with the paper towel tube until she fell to sleep. It was hilarious. With all the toys she has, all she wanted was that paper towel tube!

Tasty Yellow Block

Tasty Yellow Block, originally uploaded by Dazed81.

Ava gnawing on the tasty yellow block

Boo HISS!!!!!

Bratz making Padded Bras for little girls? I mean LITTLE girls. Like GRADE SCHOOL girls. Izzy's post has all the details, please go read and tell Izzy that Meagan sent you!

Chicago

So, go support a local girl for me, will ya? Visit Bloggo Chicago! And to think that we are only an hour and a half away from each other? Amazing.

I like Chicago. Pete lives there. Friends Angela, Kreg, Tom and Scott live in the suburbs (none of them together) and really it just has cool places. Cool places that I have been to (museums, shedd aquarium, navy pier, portillos, ikea, feast, the L, club lucky) and cool places that I haven't been to yet but I sure hope to see. I would kill to take my mom to see Wicked. I would kill to SEE Wicked period. The books, AWESOME. Never been to a real play. Real besides Circa 21 Dinner Theater (Footloose, Annie, Some Like it Hot, etc.) And even though I have been to the field museum, I was young and I would love to go see King Tut's Exhibition this fall. And even though I have been to the museum of science and industry, I would like (i think) to go see Body Slices.

So anyway. Go visit Bloggo Chicago!

Switch to Vonage! Ditch Verizon!

I wish my camera weren't broken. I am dying to take a picture of my foot. You just wouldn't believe that wiping out would give me such bruises! I DID hurt myself!

This coming paycheck, I am seriously considering buying my new camera. I can't take it anymore. We tried to tape the battery door shut, but the darn thing is so spring loaded that it won't even begin to hold. So every time you take a picture, you have to first hold the batteries in. Then try to turn on the camera while holding the battery door in, then you have to SET THE DATE AND TIME or cancel the setup each time you turn the camera on (because the batteries were out) and then you have to try to zoom and click to take the picture with the same hand that is holding the batteries in. Very efficient. I wish that Kodak would read this post and give me a new camera so that I could take pictures and review the camera. Sweet. But then maybe I would be a sell-out like dooce?

I would probably still take the camera. But if it sucked I would totally tell you all. And I would refuse to tag all my Flickr photos with the camera model like other jackasses aspiring photographers do.

In other news.... nothing! For supper I had tacos and chocolate lucky charms. Yeah. I didn't buy them so shut up. Husband did.

That's it. It's nice and cool and rainy and foggy. Perfect weather to curl up with a book, be completely lazy, and pretend that I can't hear what anyone else is saying!

Oh and by the way, I wrote a post last Thursday that I never published, so here's an excerpt for your viewing enjoyment:

Well, I did it. I got so pissed off at Verizon and their "you have to pay $38 to reconnect and we can't guarantee your phone number" after this crazy episode that we decided to go with Vonage after all. Having cell phones only would be AWESOME but since we have to stand on a chair or out in the yard to get reception, that's not going to wor well in the winter. It's already annoying enough as it is. I love how quiet it is at home though!

So I got my DLink device that hooks my phones to my current wireless router, for FREE, and my first month for FREE and then I already referred a friend who signed up, and every time I refer a friend I get more service FREE. So that's cool. If you are interested in details, please let me know, and I would be happy to email any of you a referral so that I get free service when you sign up!

The DLink already shipped and it should be here tomorrow or Monday, depending on if DHL does Saturday delivery.

Secondly, I had to get up 2.5 hours early today to get into work for a project, which was fine, except it made me tired and stressed out even more. I really hate going to work before 10am. Just before 8am, all the squares are out on the road, driving along at 54 mph and forcing me to pass 4 or 5 people at once. The Sun is in my eyes. I feel like I should ge going to a cornfield. This comes from my days of getting up early to work as a crop scout or statician for Pioneer, when I got up early just to walk into a soaking wet cornfield. That early in the morning, the post office isn't open in my town, so I can't get the mail, and I can't buy stamps. The bank only has the drive-through open. Trains go through town and I have to wait.

Really it's just best that I stay home until about 10am. Then the only thing I have to deal with is all the old people out driving around and the farmers getting coffee and gawking at the corn fields as they drive by them.

By the way, when I got home last night, the Vonage DLink box was on the step. I thought to myself, here we go, how many complications will I have with this? And it literally took less than 3 minutes and I had telephone. Attach the telephone to the DLink, plug in the Dlink and link it to my router, and VOILA.... Dial tone. That simple. No lies. And Vonage is AWESOME! Caller ID shows up ON THE FIRST RING! Eat that shit Verizon! Eat it! So when my mom calls, it rings once and she hangs up, then I call her back. My caller ID shows it was her, it doesn't cost her a dime to call me, and I call her right back and talk as long as I want because I HAVE VONAGE and it costs me only $24.99 a month for UNLIMITED Local and long distance calls in the US and CANADA. Have high speed internet? What are you WAITING for? Save money. Email me and I will send you a special offer where you sign up online, get your first month of Vonage FREE and get a router or DLink Box for FREE! Sweet! And I get TWO months for free just for referring you! Does this mean I am a sell-out like dooce? LOL.

Whoo-Hoo-Whoo-Hoo-Hoo

Whoo-Hoo-Whoo-Hoo-Hoo

Whoo-Hoo Whoo-Hoo

Whoo-Hoo-Whoo-Hoo-Hoo