Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Zzzz Zzzzz Z zz ZZ zzzzz Z z Zzzzzzz.....

Last night. Was rough. Ardyn was awake from 4am until 7:50am. Ugh. Then she woke up again at 9:50 and at 11am to eat. I drug my ass out of bed at 11. I was just putting one foot in front of the other, but We started off our day with apple cinnamon oatmeal and yogi's mother's milk tea. I got a free issue of Brain Child Magazine,and when I finished my oatmeal and banana, I held her and nursed her while drinking the rest of my tea and reading several articles. It was a nice morning. Then we wrapped ourselves up and cuddled in the glider in the nursery, and rocked for a while, and nursed. And nursed again. And rocked some more. Around 3:30 she went down for a nap, and so did I! It only lasted about 40 minutes before she wanted to eat again... but at least it was a nice nap. I felt a little better then, but alot better when Evan brought home chicken for supper, and we ate, and I got to take a bubble bath and read some of my book. Ahhh. And now she was in bed at 9:45 and I am soon to follow in case we have another night like last night.

I am really enjoying the "I was a great mom before I had kids" book. It talks about how mom's hold themself to a high standard and that they expect more out of themselves than is physically possible of anyone. It also talks about how society (other mom's included) also expect unbelievable things from moms, and it makes it all even harder. It has a great take on choice. I talks about how we have so many choices in our lives today, for ourselves, our kids, and our families in general. There are so many choices that it's exhausting to just make decisions constantly, and that while dad's may even take care of their share of household or child-rearing tasks, they don't generally make all the decisions that the wife does. Everything from what your child wears, what activities they take part in, where they go to school, who they have for daycare, what your family eats... to paying bills, household finances, fixing household items, family vacations, correspondence with other family members and friends, planning babysitters, date nights, house maintenance, etc. The book discusses how the constant decision making process puts your brain on overload on a regular basis. You are constantly investigating, weighing pros and cons, putting the decision making process in place, and then whenever something doesn't work out perfectly, no matter what it may be, you are second guessing your choice, thinking that the problem was indeed just a bad decision on your part. Then you feel guilty. You feel like you let your family down, and you feel like things aren't "right" because of your decision. So while we fought and fought to have so many choices, now we have overwhelmed ourselves with constant choices to make. Isn't THAT the truth? So I am supposed to learn from this book what is REALLY important to me, and to my family, and trying to forget and let the rest "go." Focus on what is really important in order to enjoy your life and be happy. I will keep you posted.

Well, I did try out the new Avent Isis IQ Duo breast pump tonight, and it's incredibly powerful. It was more powerful than the Isis IQ Uno pump (wow!) and more powerful than the hospital grade Medela that we used in the hospital in order to get contractions going. I was able to do the complete setup, pumping, and cleanup in less than 12 minutes. And that was the first pumping ever... so that was awesome. I think that being familiar with the setup of the Uno pump made it easier to setup the Duo. It really got the milk flowing though. I am sure as I continue to get used to this pump, the milk will flow even faster!

Have a nice night and wish me SLEEP!

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