Appetite Supressant?

Well, if I had half an appetite (thanks to coming unhinged) I would probably complain that this Lean Cuisine is a little on the Lean side.... especially considering PORTION SIZE! Lord. But since I am not really hungry and just kinda ate lunch because it was the thing to do, I am not to worried. It didn't taste too bad, albeit bland. If I would have had the energy to hunt down some salt/pepper in the office I would have done so.... but I didn't really care so much.

Expected: Three Cheese Chicken

Actual: (chicken cheese soup)

Vacation Time!

Need A Vacation? Yeah, me too. Go check out my newest renter, Palm Tree Princess. We could all use a few minutes under the palm trees. :)

Unhinged.

Last night I came unhinged. At my husband. And I don't just mean a little unhinged. I mean a whole lot unhinged in a very unattractive an inappropriate way. I can only recall this happening once previously in 10 whole years of our relationship.

I am upset about it. And I am ashamed about it. Yet at the same time, I am strangely peaceful and relieved.

I have discovered that I am the type of person who will just trudge on. I will go about my daily life and I will push down the anger and frustration and I will just ignore it. I will be cheerful or sarcastic and I will throw myself into other things. I will work on excelling in other areas and just try to forget about the things that are not making me happy. I guess I am the kind of person who can pretty much get through anything, often without anyone even knowing what is wrong. Sometimes I can even fool myself... And then I come unhinged.

It just happens. I don't intend for it to happen. It isn't pre-meditated, There is no thought or plotting behind the whole thing. In fact I don't usually know I am going to come unhinged until like the split second after it happens and I realize "oh shit" and by then it's already happening and I am too proud to stop then. Or the emotions are so strong that It's like I can't stop it.

Sometimes I can feel like I could cross a line with how upset I am, and I am either able to hold it in and press it back down, or maybe I will get so so angry that I cry, and then I feel a small release of pressure. It's like steam from a volcano. Just a release that is enough for everything to settle down again.

I didn't sleep fabulously, it took me over an hour to sleep, and then I was awake twice in the night for about an hour each. At one time I woke up and caught a glimpse of my pillowcase and thought there were quarter-sized spots of blood on it. I couldn't figure out where I was bleeding. I didn't feel like I was bleeding. I looked at the other pillowcase and there were spots there too. What the hell? Then I realized I had different sheets and they had purple flowers on them, and my other sheets are all solid. But for some reason when I woke up I thought the flowers were spots of blood. I remember having the thought, I was so angry that now I am being punished. I am bleeding out my ear or out of my eye, or I have a nose bleed. Isn't that bizarre?

So this morning I had two thoughts. First, I thought of the movie "Anger Management" and then I questioned whether or not I could possibly be the type of person who is perfectly normal and likeable and then someday I go postal.

But I felt so relieved this morning, but guilty because I know that I don't deserve to feel relieved. That I should be so full of remorse that I feel nothing but upset. And then I weighed myself, and I was SHOCKED to see that I have lost 8 pounds in the last 4 days. No wonder I feel lighter. And then I thought that it was bizarre, that even with South Beach I could lose that much that fast, and I started to think that the lightweight feeling could have had something to do with some demons that unleashed during my unhinging. And some bottled up anger and frustration.

Thoughts? Anyone else come unhinged? how do you get past it, and how do you prevent it from happening again? How do you apologize for doing something completely unacceptable even though you were provoked? My thoughts and feelings weren't wrong, but my actions were. And I feel like If I apologize for my actions, I am downplaying how upset I was and essentially telling him that I was wrong to be upset. But in fact I wasn't wrong for being upset, but I was wrong for letting it out in the fashion that I did.

Help? Advice? Wifes and Moms and girlfriends?

Good Morning Maam, Can We See Your (cable) Box.

Let's continue the discussion about my day. No? Um yeah. My blog, here we go.

So after the weekend cable fiasco, The cable guys showed up this morning to reconnect us at the pole. I am of course getting ready for work, and I decide to go to the basement to the laundry room to scout for clothes. So I am in the basement, wearing black pants for work, no shoes or socks, no shirt. No bra. Topless okay.... visualize.... visualize.... okay are you with me? Doorbell rings. 2 cable guys decide that they need to come INSIDE to be sure that the two cable boxes and modem are working. Husband comes to the top of the basement stairs to get me. I have to finish the load of laundry I am doing, throw on my bra and clothes, run up the stairs and to the front porch. The two guys are standing in the yard and our dogs are having heart attacks at the front door trying to get out to lick them to death. So I let the dogs outside, and walk out and say "you guys need to come inside?" and they look at me (there it is, that YOU ARE AN ALIEN LIFEFORM) look and they are like "yes" and I said "sorry about that, I just needed to get dressed. Do you need to go to the basement?" and I realize that they could give a shit one way or another and they were already looking at me like my skin was green, so I SHOULD have said "Hey I was running around topless as I usually do every morning, trying to hang up laundry while getting ready for the job I work so that I can pay your outrageous cable fees and hopefully have enough leftover to buy an answering machine that isn't evil, when my husband said that I needed to get dressed because you wanted to come inside."

Damn. Leave me alone people! Can't a person get dressed in privacy? So then the poor guys had to come inside and they had to go into our bedroom, with the bed all unmade and a pile of dirty laundry on the floor which of course was **luckily** topped with two fabulous lacy DD bras. It just doesn't get any better than this. So I did the "sorry about the laundry" thing while I tried to casually flip the pile over a bit to cover the bras that I know their MAN RADAR already saw. At least there weren't any naughty things lying about.... if you know what I mean.

You just don't anticipate that on a Monday morning, two guys are going to knock on your door, while you are topless, and want to come into your bedroom for a look see. Now if they had been like "the hot cable guy" okay, but these guys.... the poor things. But they weren't exactly thrilled to see me either "that bad lady who didn't pay her bill on time and made me climb the power pole to disconnect and reconnect her cable" and "that bad lady who made us wait for 8 minutes before she would come to the door."

Well thank god for the South Beach Diet because I would rather go back to being "that hot woman on the corner whose cable we HOPE we can disconnect and MAYBE catch her topless and without a husband home in the process." Oh wishful thinking.

Honeymoon/Wedding Photos Are Posted!

Yeee! I am on a ROLL today! I have uploaded all of our "honeymoon/wedding" pictures to Flickr.

Let me begin by saying that I haven't posted any of these yet.... These are all new ones. There are 391 total photos organized into 14 separate albums. So go check them out when you have "un momento" por favor.... Of course for all you flickr veterans, you know what to do. For you family members and friends who aren't so flickr savvy, you can view each photo album as a slideshow and control the speed of the slideshow as well. Oh and for those of you who don't know how to GET to flicker, you can click on my photobadge over in my sidebar, or visit my flickr at http://www.flickr.com/photos/dazed81/ My photo albums are seen going down the left side of the page.

So these are photos of our entire honeymoon (no editing, the whole she-bang) and then some photos that were of our wedding day, that Evan and I took ourselves (you can find the professional photos of the wedding on my website... If you haven't seen them , you should take a look, Chris and Lynn Jaksa did a FABULOUS job.) AND there are also pictures of our flight home, pictures from the Setup for the Reception, and Pictures from the "gift opening" the day after the reception.

The only thing left to post is the reception pictures and I anticipate doing that soon (really, for real) but I am "posted out" for the day.

Enjoy! Leave Comments! Be Merry! I think that you will all be astounded at what a beautiful place Vancouver is. I can't tell you how many times people would look at us like aliens when we said we were going to (or went to) Vancouver to get married. But once they saw the photos, they gushed and oohed and aahed.... So the photos speak for themselves!

: Ciao!
Meagan

Mealtime!

In the true spirit of the cable guy, my motto for the day is "Git er Dun!"

So I, at 3pm, was finally able to breathe and escape the phones long enough to eat a *fabulous* South Beach Diet Meal called "Caprese Style Chicken with Broccoli & Cauliflower." I got about two bites in between each "my computer is broke" phone conversation.

This is what the box said it would look like:

And this is what it DID look like:
You've gotta love it! Actually it tasted pretty good, and the plastic tray was about twice as thick as your regular plastic frozen meal tray, and twice as deep. This made room for a larger portion, so I wasn't starving an hour later, as well as made me feel more confident that I wasn't going to get cancer from the carcinogens in the plastic that attached themselves to my food as I microwaved it. It looks (from the back of the box) like there are 4 frozen meals approved for Phase1.

I did want to mention that today is officially "Day 4" of phase 1, and I am feeling MUCH MUCH better. Much. Do I feel thinner? No. But I do have more energy and MOST of my carb cravings are tolerable. I can do this. I don't know if I can AFFORD to eat all these veggies... because they are WAY expensive, but I can totally do this.

My Evil Answering Machine!

I had an interesting morning. I was woke up by Insight calling to tell me that even though my balance is ZERO they won't hook up the cable again until we pay for our "first month in advance" and pay it COD as in hand cash to the install guy, and me telling them no way no how am I paying them a month in advance when I have been a customer for 2 years.

I ended up getting to a supervisor and when I explained the whole **Situation** the call ended with our cable being hooked up this morning without having to pay the month in advance. Which was nice. The cable lady was nice, and logical, except for this comment, which was full of hookey and I told her so much:

Cable Lady: "we tried calling you several times and never reached anyone."

MJJ "we work full time, so we are not home during the day. But we never received a single message on our answering machine..."

Cable Lady: "well, you have to understand that our automated system called you."

MJJ: "well your automated system never left a message."

Cable Lady: "the answering system that you have at your house wouldn't let our automated system leave a message. Our system only works if the 'equiptment' in your home allows it to."

MJJ: "I understand that your automated system was not functioning correctly, but that is really not my problem. I was not notified. Via telephone, email, or postal service mail."

Have these companies ever heard of a good ol fashioned person picking up the phone and calling? An Automated system calling my house over and over between 10am and 4pm while I am not home and NOT leaving me a message does not constitute "notification" of a problem on my account. They also have my mailing address and my email address, but I wasn't notified by either of those. Let me guess "my PO box wouldn't allow their mail to be delivered" or maybe "my email blocked all their messages?"

The kicker to me is that all other people have no problems leaving us a message. When the doctor's office calls using their automated system to leave us an appointment reminder, that works just fine. When JC Penney calls to let us know a catalog item is in, that works. When Sears calls to confirm an appointment for delivery of our replacement freezer (from when ours went bad under warranty) their automated system worked just fine. So blaming a problem with your automated system on my answering machine, just doesn't fly with me.

And before there was a "do not call list" we received plenty of answering machine messages from telemarketers, and were notified of many watches and fabulous vacation packages that we had won. Amazing how their automated systems were able to get our answering machine to work, but when Insight's automated system calls, my answering machine went all evil and prevented them from leaving a message. Amazing. Get your own evil monkey answering machine.

Flickr has the hiccups

I was JUST thinking of uploading all our wedding reception and honeymoon pictures to Flickr, and I got this message:

Hold your clicks a moment please...
Flickr has the hiccups. We're looking into the problem right now, so please check back later.

Sunday Sunday Sunday!

It’s moments like these, when I forgot to pay for the internet isn’t working at our house, that I wonder “WHY oh WHY did I march over to my neighbor’s house to let them know their wireless network was unsecured?” I could have just set back and used it to my advantage. Why do I always have to be the nice person? Damn.

Well, I kept thinking of these things that I wanted to blog, or all these things that I need to look up or “I’ll just email so and so” and I am starting to get cranky. No internet is like no oxygen. And not having cable? Yeah, royal pain in the ass. Especially because when they hooked up the cable, they disconnected the connection of the antenna on the roof, and now I can’t get ANY channels (not even local) because they disconnected the antenna. Unfair! So I have decided that I will go down to the basement and see if I can figure out how to get the antenna back again until tomorrow, so that I don’t miss desperate housewives and grey’s anatomy. Oh the horror.
So today has been pretty uneventful. South Beach is still active, I got LOADS of groceries at Hy-Vee on Saturday, good stuff, like shrimp and scallops and marinated chicken breasts and turkey tenderloins… and veggies and hummus. Lots of good healthy food. And I did get to go out to eat last night, Evan and I went with mom and dad to the Prime Quarter to use up some gift certificates and celebrate Mom’s Birthday. I ate salad and a filet mingon… which was great tasting. I specifically asked them not to bring toast or a baked potato and they did it anyway. So I gave toast to husband and put the hot potato in my purse (for real) to bring home for husband to eat later. I didn’t touch anything I wasn’t supposed to, not even alcohol.

I already feel better, less sluggish and have more energy. I wish I had weighed myself at home before I Started this. The doctors scale was 4 pounds heavier on Wednesday than mine at home is today. So I am wondering if some or all of that is a scale discrepancy. I guess I will find out eventually. I have been seeing all these hot skinny people on TV and thinking that COULD be me. That helps. And the threat of cancer in the future is helpful too.



Today I made lunch for myself(see above)… A baked chicken breast (Italian marinated) with some funky topping that I concocted… Mushrooms and Roma Tomato slices sautéed in Olive Oil and Red Wine Vinegar and seasoned with salt, topped with Garlic and Herb Crumbled Feta Cheese… and I poured all that over the chicken breast, and had peas and lowfat cottage cheese too. Then this afternoon I had some snacks… Green Peppers dipped in Roasted Red Pepper Hummus, and plain yogurt. Since I didn’t eat breakfast, but ate chicken when I got up at 10:30am, that was kind of actually like my lunch at 3pm. And then I had a fudgesicle (no sugar like recommended.)

I just might live through this. Maybe I will even stay on phase one longer, although I miss fruit TERRIBLY and when I smell bread me knees go weak. Seriously. Mmmmm Bread. I love to bake homemade bread. And eat it.

Today I had what my husband aptly named as “the great underwear crisis of 2006” when I realized that just about ALL of my undies were dirty. Time to do laundry. Damn. I have run the dishwasher twice and put away dishes twice and also did three sinkfulls by hand. Really. With the recent parties I had not only regular dishes but all the entertaining dishes too. And I just did a 82% cleaning of the scrapbook room, and put another coat of decoupage on my “altered book.” Then I went down and sorted 3 hampers of laundry and started a load. I am well on my way to successful. But I miss my internet!

Shopping

Today I am about to go shopping. For Food. That I can eat. I have a list that looks delicious expensive. I am away from home right now because my Cable and Internet is shut off till Monday because I forgot to pay it not working and I am about to DIE from internet/cable TV withdrawls.... so I had to get to the internet. For some reason I am not even able to get on my neighbor's wireless network right now, so I am super sad. I will probably spend my afternoon war-driving to figure out where I can grab a fix at in my neighborhood doing laundry and dishes. I am pissed at myself the cable company because now I can't watch Grey's Anatomy and Desperate Housewives on Sunday and will have to go somewhere else to watch it.

I just finished a powerpoint presentation for an environmental scientist, and that feels good.

I am glad for all the comments on this crazy diet. Especially the Ricotta thing, that scared the crap out of me. Ricotta with Vanilla or Mocha? What? That seemed bizzarre. And kinda disgusting.

Well the only cheese shop around these parts is already closed for the day, and It's in another town that I would only be able to get to on Saturday (unless I skip work to go on a cheese run).... although HyVee might have a better selection (but it is 45 minutes away.) For breakfast I had 1 slice of turkey and a cup of mint decaf tea. I was afraid to eat. I really am not an egg person- because they make me belch eggs all day, especially if I eat them in the morning, so as I was looking at the south beach book this morning and the only breakfast was eggs... I was very afraid.

Although I liked the stuffed mushrooms idea. And thought maybe I could just eat REAL food for breakfast. instead of eggs. But my whole thing is like WHEN am I going to COOK all these fab dishes? Besides supper. Am I going to have to get up early to eat because I can't have cereal or toast or an english muffin or fruit or flavored yogurt? Ick.

Wish me well in my shopping escapade. I was actually pleased to think of asparagus and mushrooms and cauliflower and tomatoes.... but it seems like alot to eat that for two weeks. Although this morning I discovered (also through Tina's comments) that I can have Chicken BREASTS when before I missed that on the list. SO now I feel safer.

Here we go!

Whine Whine Whine

Oh this is going to be different. I got tired of reading and not knowing what to eat on South Beach so I fast forwarded my way to the Phase 1 recipe section of the book. Now first, let me say I love to cook. I have a seriously stocked kitchen (thank you three years as a PC Consultant) but the worst part is the EXPENSE of ingredients to eat healthy. But I guess I have to make this decision that the money spent to buy shoes and scrapbook supplies eat healthy is money WELL spent and just borrow extra cash from my husband's wallet get over it.

So when looking through the recipes, I came across the cauliflower "mashed potatoes" that I have heard people rave about and I thought, I just MIGHT be able to do this. And I love fish, and there are SOOO many fish recipes, but I would usually pair it with Pasta or Rice. And Usually vegetables. But not having that pasta and rice, just makes me feel like I am "missing" something. Ugh. How hard will this be!

And I love crabmeat. And I love tuna fish like it is going out of style. But it's like... I can't put it on bread? Or a cracker? or in a Pita? Am I just supposed to eat it by the spoonful? What? On a SALAD you say? I don't think I can eat more greenies. It might kill me.

I was thrilled to run across Hummus (mmmm) and I can't wait to make it, but I am like, how will I eat it without the pita bread? I don't get it. I am so stumped. I guess I could dip veggies in it. But I swear I am feeling veggie overload coming on. The only veggie I can eat that much of is either spinach, mushrooms, olives, or tomatoes. And the occasional onions and green peppers. But how can I eat JUST that? I know I know, cheese and meat. Whatever. I will just have to deal. Is it bizarre that I want to throw a hissy fit over CARBS?!~

Oh and I do love Artichokes. But the key is how the hell am I going to make a MEAL out of these things? they all sound like COMPONENTS of a meal. I was pleased to see pistachios but I could vividly see myself counting them into snack baggies of 30 pistachios each. And is that 30 per day? 30 per snack? 30 per week? 30 per two weeks of phase 1? Ugh. This is why I don't diet make a lifestyle change more often.

Mmmmm.... I can eat sugar free fudgesicles? Well why wasn't that on page ONE?! If you want to beat me down sell me on this diet, you have got to put the goods up front! Mmmm and sugar free popsicles? Yum. Sugar free Jello? Yum. Except there can't be any rum fruit in the Jello, and that's the only reason I eat Jello!

The hardest part.... no cereal? What? No Chicken? No Honey Baked Ham? No Carrots (I could give a crap about carrots anyway, but they are on all those salads) no FRUIT? Ugh. And only plain fat free yogurt. None of that fruity goodness. No ICE CREAM? Oh wait, sugarless Fudgecicles, right.

This will be tough. Okay, enough whining. I need to go now and count my nuts.

Namaste

Salad. Again. Partially because I haven't read past the first three chapters of the book so I don't know a whole lot about what I can and can't eat, and I know that salad is a safe carb for South beach. Also bought goodies at Austin Parker, ranging from nuts and granola to bean soup mix and veggie soup mix, oh and hummus.... mmmmm. And a cool Namaste sticker. Cuz I deserve a 99 cent sticker for eating all these weeds. Btw, chef's salad brought to mjj by Eco Espresso Cafe in Princeton, Illinois, formerly owned and operated by my good friend Amethyst. With Tomato Basil Vinigrette.... mmmm.

~~*~Namaste~*~~
(I bow to the salad within you) .... just kidding.

Friday

Friday. Thank you hippy in the sky.

So I love granola. Really I do. Today for lunch I have plans to go to Austin Parker Naturals and see what kinds of "good for me" foods I can buy, and look into buying some granola in bulk, since I love granola in yogurt. Although I haven't read the south beach book yet, so I don't even know if I am supposed to eat granola. Probably not.

That book is looming. It's huge. I would much rather be reading one of my chick lit books. But maybe I can read this book this weekend and get it over with, and then I will be able to continue with what I WANT to read. But Thanks to Cari for letting me borrow it.

Today I have been working on getting things off my chest. Things that have been bothering me. Instead of just worrying about them and wondering how things will turn out, I am actually going to discuss them and try to let go of some of the worry. We will see how that goes.

I am working on getting into the wellness excercise program sponsored by my employer, and also getting back into excercise at home, including yoga which is my favorite, and walking the dogs, and on the treadmill... and probably the Leslie Sansone Walk DVD which is great.

It's all about starting I guess. And then sticking with it. I don't know which part of it is harder... starting or sticking with it.

P.S. Sorry I missed HNT again.... so much going oN!

Underpaid

Mom turned 50 yesterday. Liz and I met her at 6&34 for a drink. I ate a turkey sandwick on 2000 grain bread before I got there. They all had Tacos, and Liz had Chicken Strips and Fries. I ate two of her fries. Torture.

Last night I balanced our two checking accounts and reconciled 4 statements. Ick. Every time I do that it reminds me that I am a web designer with the pay of a McDonald's manager. It makes me realize that my employers owe me money and that I have been doing web design and other IT work worthy of $25 an hour for about half that. For over two years. And that for the first year I made less than 1/3 of what I should be making now. It makes me angry. It makes me realize that I need a raise. It makes me frustrated. It makes me want to cry. I know that I am valued. I am given loads of responsibility, but every time that I think of the way I am treated financially, it makes me feel like I am not valued and my attention to detail and ability to work independently are not even noticed.

That's about it for the day.

Get Back To Where You Once Belonged....

Today I ate a salad. a. salad. people. for real. the whole thing. lettuce. carrots. ick. I mean salads are okay, but as a MEaL? That is no happy meal. No. I could eat tomatoes all day long. I love tomatoes. But the lettuce that you get in Illinois in the winter, the white, hard, crispy, big-as-your-head-won't-fit-on-your-fork pieces of lettuce. Uck. Most places around here that serve a salad, just don't know what a salad is. I can honestly say that the very best place around here (besides the one $10.00 Cafe salad) is McDonald's. They (shockingly) have the freshest ingredients.

So today at lunch I had a Chicken Bacon Ranch Salad with GRILLED (no folks, not even crispy) chicken followed by a fruit and yogurt parfait for dessert and washed down with a bottle of Dasani, the onlybest water known to man (not that Worm tasting Aquafina crap.)

Why you ask? Why torture myself with GREENERY? Doctor's orders folks. For real.

I have been having health issues lately (began in December, escalated by January 1st, continuing as I type) that have resulted $1000 in medical bills and the following resolution: You, MJJ, Need to lose weight. Period. End of sentence. Right from the mouth of the doctor. And she made it crystal clear. She told me what to do, how to do it, what my timeline was, and what the results would be if I didn't lose weight. Can you say Cancer? Diabetes? Infertility? Yep. That's the honest truth. Let's say 75 pounds. Let's make a target goal of 6 months. Practically impossible, I know, so Let's just make it halfway there and see if I am still alive.

That's the road I am on. I had to hit the brakes and turn the car around. I was cruising big pimpin style in a cadillac brome (okay ludacris, maybe that's a BIT over the top), all leather interior, moon roof, spinners, CD player, gold trim.... and a Hardees Thickburger on Sourdough in hand... and now I had to slam on the brakes, hop out, and get into the Toyota Prius Hybrid with the "save the rainforest" bumper sticker and hemp keyring. Headed the other direction. I have made the overnight transformation into a granola munching, skirt wearing, un-armpit shaving, hippy-chick. I might as well burn my bra and braid my hair, and hey, why not plant a tree on the way.

But really I am cool with that. I was born a hippie. Deep down inside. Since college I have gotten further and further away from it, and I guess this is the part of the song that says "gonna get back..." (intro to Canned Heat's "Going Up to the Country" at Woodstock) Goodbye red meat. Hello sprouts. But the thing that you don't know about me, is that I LOVE sprouts. And I LOVE fish and chicken. I love Hummus (thank you angela) and I do wear hippy skirts and dresses all summer long... and I won't tell you if I wear underwear under there. I am more of a "VW bus hippy and a Let's go to woodstock and roll in the mud naked hippie".... not a "Toyota prius save the rainforest and impeach GW" hippie, but.... I love to be barefoot and I love toe rings, and I do plant trees and garden. And my hair is going back to my hippy style of long and straight.... so I guess I was heading back to where I once belonged.... and the doctor just took a finger and flicked me over the edge. Just call me 'moonbeam.' I won't be running off to save the rainforest, and I won't hug a tree, but I guess eating more vegetables won't KILL me. I like veggies, just NOT as a meal! I must have bread! Pasta! Yum! And now.... my life and love for starchy carbohydrates may be over. And if you need me, you can stop by the commune. I'll be the one picking berries topless with a daisy chain in my hair. I am gonna go "diane lane in Walk on the Moon." Just keep all blouse men away from me.

Specifically, I have been told :south beach diet: by the doctor, I hate the word diet and I hate the look the world gives you when they realize you are on a "diet." So I REFUSE to go on a diet. I have decided to call this a lifestyle change. I am not dieting. I am not. I am simply becoming aware of what I am eating and aware of my activity levels. It always surprises me that I can work circles around those other lazy asses and still gain weight. Doctor says "stress. overexertion. anxiety." Who me? Yes you.

So last night we walked the dogs. Husband and I together. And today I ate a salad. And tomorrow I will start reading the books about the "south beach lifestyle change" and I even made one of those gay ass "weight loss" tickers that all the cool people have. But I can't bring myself to post it here. Not yet. I am just getting comfy in my birkenstocks and braless state... so I will have to think about the ticker. One step at a freaking time.

P.S. Matt, I guess this is what the hippie in my dream was trying to tell me. "Don't laugh at me man. That's not cool!"

Wyanet, Illinois, USA

I am a huge huge huge fan of google earth. I used it to make a map of the places we visited on our honeymoon, and to zoom down to the exact place we got married. I could zoom in on the top of Grouse Mountain in Vancouver and see the restraunt where we ate lunch atop the mountain. I could see the Capilano Suspension Bridge, China town, etc. But I could not see Wyanet, Illinois, USA. I couldn't even see Princeton. It was not a heavily populated area and was therefore not yet in their databases.

Today I ran across a satellite image of Wyanet on Microsoft's TerraServer and was THRILLED at the detail. Of course the map is a little older, at least older than 3 or 4 years, as the dry bridge over the railroad is still showing up on West Street (Wyanet/Walnut blacktop) - and that bridge has been removed, and "dead ends" made at the tracks, and Wyanet Walnut re-routed with a brand new bridge on the west edge of town. So, although the picture is older (further research shows it was taken on April 12th, 1998- that happens with satellite imagery) it is so so so detailed that I can zoom in and see the roof of my house, the property lines, the sidewalk in our front yard, and the street that I live on in great detail.

So it's pretty cool. Click on the Image to make it much larger.

Make My Day

About two years ago, the bypass humidifier that is attached to our furnace went bad. We replaced it with a new Aprilaire model. Living in a house with the humidifier is a GODSEND for someone like me with eczema... and it is a huge change from my parents house, which had a woodburner for it's main source of heat (dry air.)

So when our house got remodeled, the guys who were doing the work, lost or threw away the knob to the humidifier's thermostat. Ugh. I was so upset. I know that to those guys, it seemed minor, but to me it was like a mass casualty. I was so upset. Today I FINALLY got around to calling Aprilaire and got routed to their tech support, where I was greeted my Megan, who was SUPER SUPER nice and pleasant to talk to.

Megan had a spare knob in her parts box (doesn't that sound dirty when I type it?) and she mailed it out to me free of charge. So I am so so excited and a huge chunk of stress just detached itself from my body and floated away. Ahhh.... And she even asked me if it was a white or off white knob so it would match- now THAT is a woman after my own heart. She laughed when I told her that I have been using a pair of pliers to adjust the humidifier. LOL.

So thanks to Megan and Aprilaire, my day has officially been made.

I knew I liked Rachel McAdams....

You know, I have always had a like for Rachel McAdams. She was excellent in The Notebook. I loved everything about her. She is beautiful. She seems so REAL. She's a great actress... and I have always thought she had class. She can pull off any look, any style, any era. But for some reason, I like her even more after this. I read this back when they shot the Vanity Fair cover, but since MSN is touching on it again, I decided I should blog.

Am I like really upset one way or the other that Keira and Scarlett are nude on the cover? Not particularly. But I see that Rachel mcAdams did what she thought was the right thing. I suppose she would rather be known for her acting and talent than as one of three naked women on the cover of Vanity Fair (Ala Demi Moore, eh?)

So there were excerpts of the MSN article which I enjoyed. Particularly...

What you won't see is a third, equally lovely young actress, Rachel McAdams of "Wedding Crashers" fame. It seems McAdams arrived at the photo shoot and decided she didn't want to take her clothes off.And so, sitting between Johansson and Knightley is fashion designer Tom Ford, the issue's guest editor. He nuzzles Knightley's ear and, though he shows plenty of chest hair, is fully clothed. Presumably, no one thought of asking HIM to disrobe.Is it arty and fun, or does it say something about sexual politics in Hollywood? In 2006, four decades after the launch of the feminist movement, does a serious actress still need to take her clothes off to get attention?And where, oh where, are the naked men?The reason female stars disrobe is simple, says Janice Min, editor of the much-read celebrity magazine US Weekly. "It's tried and true. You show some cleavage on an actress. You make her look sexy. You make her look hot." She NEEDS to be hot — because in Hollywood, "you have to be sexy to be a successful actress. You just have to be." So where's the nude photo of Brad Pitt? Or George Clooney, who appears later in the issue, dressed, amid a bevy of women in flesh-toned bras and panties? Let's face it, Min says: Women do like to see sexy men — just not with all their clothes off. "Men just aren't viewed as sex objects in the same way that women are," Min says. "Women don't think about men being naked in the same way that men think about women." In fact, she says, at her magazine's offices, when photos come in of a male star with no shirt on, "We say, 'Gross! Put some clothes on!'" (Imagine that being uttered about an attractive female.)

Trailer Party on Stilts

Every time I remember one of my freaky dreams, I like to document it here. Apparently none of you give a shit because there are never any comments on those posts. Either that, or you are rendered speechless. Not sure. But I like the idea of having these dreams documented, and since this is my blog and not yours, I will continue. Feel free to skip this post if you find it annoying. But I am warning you, this was another good one.

Well, you know those toppers that go on the back of trucks, and I mean the ones that look alot like campers, or auction toppers for auctioneer trucks? Okay. Well we had one of those. On stilts, in the sky. Yes. In the sky. And there were stairs to get into it from the back (like where the door would be on the topper, there was a door, by where the tailgate of the truck would go. ) Now obviously if you put one of those toppers on the truck there are no sides and bottoms, just the truck bed. But ours had sides and a bottom.

It was mounted on a giant pole along this one road. I know exactly the road's location, but I can't describe it to anyone who didn't grow up with me. But for those of you who did, this road was about a country block from my parents house. There is of course the "hideaway" place with summer trailers and homes that is on brickyard blacktop just south of the feeder canal around the "corner" from my great grandma's house and the edge of our farm property. Right there in front of the hideaway, the brickyard blacktop meets up with the road that winds around in front of David Jensen's House, and in front of the house where Dan Rasmussen grew up and where Roger and Tammy lived a few years back.

Where those two roads meet, there are a few triangles formed between the roads. In one of those grass triangles, we had this trailer on stilts. It had lots of windows, the kind that you can slide open like the ones in campers and on school buses, but they had screens. So for some reason, it was nighttime. I think it was the late 70's, even though I was born in 1978. We were having a party up in the trailer on stilts, overlooking the triangles, and one particular triangle that we were overlooking, was a pond. Except that I had the distinct feeling that it was more like a flooded marsh, like we had too much rain that year. There had never been a pond there before, and you could see the weeds and cattails sticking through it.

Well, there were people's cars on the ground and they were parked all over, there were parties in the trailer, and parties on the ground. Think "moontower" in dazed and confused. There was beer and it was spring, we had on jeans and maybe sweatshirts or light jackets. We had the windows open on the trailer. There was this hippy that was all wasted and he got the brilliant idea to drive his navy blue 70's cadillac (think two door eldorado or Coupe de ville, circa 1976) into the "marsh/pond" and do donuts all over. We were all screaming and whooping and yelling as he spun around and threw up mud and I remember saying to the person next to me "this is crazy, that is a nice car! It's a CADILLAC and he is going to trash it!" and next thing you know.... he gets stuck in the mud, and the cadillac SINKS!

It IS a pond. It's awfully deep where his car got sucked in. So the hippy, he gets out through the window and sloshes through the mud to dry ground, and the whole time the trailer is screaming and laughing and people are clapping and that hippy gets SOOOO pissed at us that he comes up the stairs of the trailer. He's like "that's not funny man! My car is ruined man! This is so not cool!" and he is pissed (as pissed as a stoned hippy can get) that we are laughing and clapping at him.

Well then he leaves (probably to get some weed to smoke so he can forget about his car) and then this HUGE guy that we know decides to join the party in the trailer. Whoa. So as he is climbing up the stairs, the trailer starts swaying back and forth on the pole and I am like "Dude this is not cool, you can not come up here!" and he says "sure I can" and the trailer is swaying and I am like "this isn't safe, I need to get on the ground before the trailer falls off this pole!" But this guy is like weighing over 300 pounds and taking up the whole width of the doorway and the stairs and I can't get out.

Then I wake up.

The Truth about Meredith and George....and McSteamy...

Wow. Came across this today. Very excited to see that SOMEONE apparently knows what is going on and where to go to get the scoop on the "MerGe"

Oh and of course you can read the blog of Joe the Bartender at the Emerald City Bar....

And of Course Debbie Does Seattle Grace... but that is not really one of my faves.

Oh yes, and research tells me that McSteamy is none other than Eric Dane, aka Dr Wyatt on the WB's Gideon's Crossing. I see his past holds duest appearances on episodes of The wonder years, married with children, Roseanne, as Jason Dean in Charmed, Las Vegas, and that his future holds the role "Multiple Man" in X3, X-Men- The Last Stand (Release Date May 26th, 2006).

Tie me up and paint my toes

Last night/this morning I had a crazy dream that I only remembered a few minutes ago... although I was recalling it this morning while putting on mascara.

I was with an ex boyfriend. Not a "real" ex as in a person I know, but a fake guy in a dream who was my ex (only in the dream, not in real life) and he wanted me back. I was not married in the dream, but I must have been with Evan. I remember that he was going to try to win me over and I just kept saying "no no no no no."

He got the brilliant idea to try to win me over. He said he was going to paint my toes. Okay, that sent me into a total panic. I had JUST gotten a pedicure, complete with french tips (in real life too) and he was going to paint (messily) over them. Oh I was so angry. I was like SCREAMING "NO! I don't want you to paint my toes" and he was just smiling and saying "but I want to, really, just let me" and I was freaking out trying to kick out at him.... except that I was tied up. Even my ankles were tied. So he just kept putting this shimmery purple polish all over and t was going all over my toes, not just on my toenails, and he just kept grinning like a freaking madman. Yep.... you heard it here first.

Tied up by my fictitious ex boyfriend who wanted to paint my toenails and in the process ruin my beautiful pedicure. But he didn't realize that he was ruining it, he thought he was doing like a good thing and that I would be appreciative and take him back. Did I mention he looked surprisingly like Heath Ledger in his longer hair days?

My poor toes.

My Pistachio Story.

I was suddenly inspired to tell my "pistachio" story.

When I was a kid, we would go grocery shopping with mom. In the center of the produce area at the grocery store, they always had those tall bushel baskets full of pistachios. Red ones and brown ones. I always used the scooper and swirled them around and I always told my mom that I wanted some, and she always told me that they were gross and I wouldn't like them. So this month, my friend Cari and I went to the Chestnut Street Inn for Moroccan Food with Jeff and Monica. The food was fabulous. I loved it, and the dessert cookies were fabulous, especially the ones with raisin and sesame seed coating. Yum. And there were pistachios. And I looked at Cari, and I said, without thinking "I don't think I like those" and she laughed and said "what do you mean "you don't think"- either you do or you don't!" and it was at that moment that I realized I am a 27 year old still having never tried a pistachio because my mom told me they were gross when I was probably 6. So I decided to try one. YUM! And so I told Cari about it and afterwards I promptly called my mom and asked her why she told me that. Her response was that she never liked the red ones... and I suppose she probably wanted me to stop running the scoop through them in the grocery store and trying to make her buy me some.

So now I have discovered, at 27, that I like pistachios.

My 80's Alter Ego?

Well, this 80's alter ego thing is everywhere.... Mama Mama, Kristen, Wizzy. Okay fine. So My biggest gripe was that there is no way I could pick one that no one else has used. But I will do it anyway.

I don't know if anyone has used this one, but she is me, so I will pick her.

Lori Singer as Ariel in Footloose.

Reasons:
I am mouthy and I can be a royal bitch.
I'm a smart ass.
I have total opinions about everything and I make them known.
I disagreed with everything my dad said.
Blonde.
A goody goody that did things just to rebel (although not a preacher's daughter)
My parents were fairly strict with me (curfew, rules, etc)
I went to church and sang in the choir
I always had a "cause" of the moment (hence the dance, and Ren)
I had a crappy, mean, loser boyfriend who hit me. And I did hit him back.
I had sex in the woods (sorry adult visitors who are related to me)
The end of my high school career I found a boyfriend that I liked much better (and one day married)
I love Kevin Bacon and I loved loved loved Chris Penn in that movie
I was a country girl with a rock and roll attitude
We drove tractors to school and grew up on the farm

And I LOVE to Dance!!!

Where is she now? (new for Izzy) Well, she is at http://www.lorisinger.com/ of course!

Oh and I did mention in my comments that I have always been a footloose fan.... And Several years ago I went to see Footloose the musical and loved it. Evan and Angela, and Angela's mom Joan, all went too. Probably the number one songs in my iPod that would make me dance no matter where I was? Anything from the footloose soundtrack. Totally. Footloose is the song that I freak out and dance to behind closed doors. Visualize.... Yes I'll leave you to ponder that.

Google Freaked On Me.

While searching Froogle for scrapbooking supplies under the names of "Heidi Swapp" and "Technique Tuesday" Google (froogle) freaked on me and gave me an error that my search looked like searches automated by spyware and viruses. Now WHY, pray tell, would a spyware or virus program be searching google in it's spare time? WTF? Here's the goofy error. Click on it to view it full screen.

How Hot Is Heath Ledger?

Hot.

Okay, Really Hot.

"My Toes are Curled" Hot.

And he just gets Hotter every year.

Cheating?

Do you believe that the 62 year old woman who gave birth as the result of in-vitro fertilization and a ceaserean delivery should be given the title "one of oldest woman to give birth?" Does anyone else feel like those circumstances could be considered cheating?

I mean I have nothing against invitro. I really really don't. I think it's great that there is that option. But if you are 62 and you have 12 children, you have to start wondering if that isn't abuse of medical science. But that isn't even really the question. It's like she is being recognized for this wonderful feat of chilbirth and not only did she not get pregnant naturally, she didn't have a vaginal birth either. Strange. I just think it is strange. Will this be like the onset of a group of grandmas going out and having kids to try to be a world record holder? I suppose that only the insane ones would want to have a baby at 62.

High in the sky Infinity Pie Hopes

Blog explosion has been not going my way. I have no problem getting renters. And I have never had problems buying space on a blog, until now. In the past three days I have been denied 5 times. WTF? Am I THAT bad? Am I too opinionated? Too cranky? Is it the cussing? The pornography? My blatant honesty? Too many pictures? Inability to load on dial-up? Who the fuck knows. (see more cursing)

But I did find a blog today when looking for places to "rent" and I loved it. Instantly. The Template. She is also a Saggitarius. She is also in IT/Web and graphic design. SHE EVEN HAS TWO HOUNDS! Just like little ol me! Wow! She is slightly older than me but she still seems as cool as me, which is a plus. I like to hang out at places where I feel like I belong. I really hope that she picks me. But in all liklihood, she is probably way cool enough to get lots of renters wanting to be picked, and when she gets here and finds out that I say the F word, and that I am cranky and opinionated, and that I participate in HNT, and that I have too many freaky graphics and my sidebar is too long.... she will certainly axe me. But I will sit here with my eyes and fingers and toes crossed until then.

Thoughts for the day.

I Love Being Busy. Mostly. Let's rephrase that. I Love being busy at work. Although there are different levels of busy. I thrive on action. Although some action (like servers crashing) is a little too much action, but lately we have had just enough action to satisfy me. Projects and New things to test and implement. It makes my job fun. I love new things. New hardware, new software, etc. What is hard is teaching new things to others when they don't like change, and aren't as excited about new things as I am. What's even harder is learning how to unwind when you are busy. It's difficult not to carry "busy" over to everything that I do. I am a busy bee. I always have been. When I am not "doing something" I feel guilty. I need to remember how much I love Yoga and Stretching and massage, and things that are just plain relaxing. I need to indulge in those things more often so my head doesn't explode.

As far as "non-work related" busy.... I am doing better. I got both Baby showers and the longaberger party out of my system. I am done with the dog kennels and have cut back with the computer user group. the house is clean. There is still laundry piled in the laundry room but the rest of the house is cleaned. And mostly picked up. I like it that way. I did run around like a madwoman most of last weekend, with a card class at 9am on Saturday, followed by a stampin up workshop to attend, and dinner at the Prime Quarter that night- with some house cleaning thrown in there for good measure. Then Sunday I hosted the baby shower for Carrie, followed by my night of Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy.... so It didn't feel like I really relaxed that weekend, although I did get to spend some time in my pajamas, and sleep till 10am on Sunday.

I have been desperately trying for better posture at work. My bluetooth earpiece for the phone helps tremendously, as does the lumbar cushion that my co-worker bought me for Christmas. I will utilize that until my new office chair arrives in a few weeks. That should make me a little less stressed out and less cranky and sore after the day is through.

I need to start excercising. I had a meeting today at work in which I was discussing things with someone who basically excercises for a living, and besides being blonde and beautiful with flawless skin, she is in great shape and is very healthy... and it was inspiring to me as well as made me feel ashamed for being in such horrible shape. I hope that I can start to not be so tired and excercise in my newfound free time.

Treadmill here I come.

What Will I do Today?

It looks as though my day will be spent doing the following

1. Staying awake
2. Answering the phone
3. Fiddling with my new Bluetooth wireless headset
4. Staying awake
5. Switching on and off the battery powered memory foam lumbar massager in my desk chair
6. Staying awake
7. Rolling my neck forward, back, and side to side to avoid a pinching cramp from a crappy office chair and bad posture.
8. shivering
9. Staying awake
10. Answering the Phone.
11. Wearing my teddy bear battery powered foot massager slippers
12. Staying awake.

Lost Camera

You all have to read this.
I really really mean that you have to read this. It's INSANE. I can not believe the nerve of these rude people. It's the story of the
:lost camera:
that I found via Wizzy.

Richer by the minute

Hmmm.... That makes me feel good. By the way, if you try it, be sure to include http://www otherwise you will get ZERO as an answer and then you will feel like crapola. LOL.

My blog is worth $9,032.64.
How much is your blog worth?

WANTED

Have you ever missed something and not really realized it? Or maybe realized it but then forgotten about it? Tonight I miss two things. Number 1... Being able to see the TV in our bedroom from the bathtub so I could take long hot baths watching whatever I wanted on TV. Number 2... Rice pudding. Hot cinnamon rice pudding. You know the stuff. So tonight, what I want is your recipes for rice pudding. Come on out there. Put it in the comments or send me an email. I really really want your rice pudding recipes.

Move over McDreamy...

McSteamy is hot. Totally. "jump on back of his motorcycle without even thinking of a helmet" hot. Wow. His jaw. Wow. His eyes. Wow. Telling Meredith he wants to spend the day in bed. Wow. Suturing his own face. Wow.

Now, I am very very upset that Addison didn't just go with McSteamy. AND I am very very upset that Meredith is about to hurt George when he doesn't deserve it.

Does Jesus Lean Right?

Christie sent me to this. I thought it rang pretty true.

I am a rare breed in Idaho. I attend church every weekend. I have three kids and a dog. I work Monday through Friday at a small Internet software company. I love my wife. I have a college education and will pay for it over the next twenty years. So what’s so rare about me? I have chosen to follow an ideology that is rare in my social circles and rare in our great State. I am liberal.

“I’m so glad God won this election,” a friend said to me as I sat in our Sunday School room on a Sunday in the Fall of 2004. I cringed inside and thought to myself, “Oh how mistaken you are.” You see, my church background is such that I was expected to vote Republican. Thankfully the church that I and my family attend does not preach politics from the pulpit, but it is assumed that everyone leans to the Right. Afterall, doesn’t Jesus?

The answer is no, he doesn’t, and he doesn’t lean to the Left either. He cares for the plight of the disenfranchised and the causes of the needy and downtrodden. He cries out with the pain of the U.S. marine dying in a ditch and weeps the tears of the Iraqi mother clutching her dying child to her breast. His battle cry is not created in an election war room but is formed on the lips of a child as she sobs a prayer asking for someone to love her in her abusive world. He seeks to break molds, tear down walls, and destroy stereotypes.

The Jesus I know sets people free - free from the dogma, the bigotry and the fear of the unknown. He leads me forward, opens my mind to new possibilities and grants me the opportunity to see others as I want them to see me - as a human being with the desire to be truly free and to be fully loved.

So you see, I am a liberal, not because of the way I vote, but because I have taken on the burden of loving, caring, and working to ensure that others can enjoy the freedom that I do.

I want a hummer....

A Hummer Laptop that is. How cool is this? Besides being $3000-$6000 each, I mean. In true overpriced hummer style. The hummer laptop has a rugged body with carry handle and wireless adapters for various cell phones (built in) so that you can get internet access from your cell phone.

Visit Hummerstuff.com for full details. They even make Cologne.

Thanks to the March issue of Playboy for tipping me off to this. Just one more thing in their magazine to drool over. Of course you know I only read the articles...

Welcome Dawn!

Today I am here to avoid work. Not work work but the around home kind of work that tends to snatch all the fun out of my weekends.

First, let me welcome my new renter, Dawn. Let me say for the record that this week's choice was EXCRUCIATING with 6 bids and I decided on dawn because I a) love Military moms b)loved her "blog voice" (thanks to Nello for that phrase) and c) liked that she posts funky pictures to go along with her posts, much like me. So please please please visit Dawn Often and much. As a matter of fact go there now. I will stop this post entirely and continue it in another just to get you to go see her.

Sucks to be you

PESHAWAR, Pakistan - A Pakistani Muslim cleric said Friday that he and supporters were offering rewards of more than $1 million for killing Danish cartoonists who drew caricatures of the Prophet Muhammad. Maulana Yousef Qureshi, a cleric in the northwestern city of Peshawar, said during Friday prayers that he personally had offered to pay a bounty of 500,000 rupees ($8,400), while a jewelers association was putting up $1 million, and others were offering $17,000 plus a car.

Sucks to be that Danish guy. I'd say witness relocation program would be best for him.

Meagan Does Modge Podge

Well, sorry about not making HNT yesterday, I got busy last night. Evan and I went to grab some dinner after work, and ran to the Wal-Mart to grab a few things that we needed, including adhesive for some scrapbook projects and my card class tomorrow morning.

I have been working on an altered book. At my last scrapbook class, Jessie broke out some of her altered books. The idea was totally cool, and It reminded me of the ledgers that my great grandma used to keep in her kitchen. I called my grandpa and talked to him about it, and he said that she had a ledger for every year starting back in the 30's. She wrote down everything. Farm expenses, things from the hardware store that her family ran, the weather and temperature each day as she ate breakfast, who visited, where they went, the price of their movie tickets, when they bought new appliances or serviced an appliance or vehicle... everything. I remember being young and having her ask me to get her ledger down so she could look at the thermometer and write the temperature. And whenever I asked her how old Tippy was (her dog) she would grab the ledgers and look inside, and provide me with "17 years" along with multiplications to figure Tippy's age in dog years. My great grandma was sharp as a tack and the nicest lady ever. It's little bits of everyday life that take me back and remind me of something about her, or her house.

So I started to think about the altered book. I mean, it isn't really a journal. My blog is my journal. But it is more like a place where you collect things that make you smile. clipart and images, bits of ribbon and comics. A recipe. A quote or saying. A thought you had. It could be absolutely mundane or revolutionary and descriptive of your life or thoughts at the time.

The funny thing is that Evan was already working on two altered books, without even knowing that there was a name for them. He was working on character books for a role playing game that he runs with a group of friends (only Christie probably knows what I am talking about.) He had been eyeballing and dabbling in my scrapbook supplies for a while, working with metallic contact paper and other cardstocks and inks to customize the book for each character. He graciously gave me one of his blank journals and a monster was created! MODGE PODGE MONSTER!

My first thing was to fix up the blank black cover. I wanted something fun, colorful, and descriptive of me. Can you believe that I chose wonder woman? For the outsides at least. So last night I completed the front and back covers as well as the inside front cover. Now it's time to decoupage. I have never used modge podge before. So I have done research from all over the internet and also from friends and fellow scrapbookers who have decoupaged, and now I have sent my poor husband on a trip to get me some modge podge, and more adhesive for my card class tomorrow morning, as I used two entire adhesive runners yesterday to finish the covers of the book.

I am so excited to modge podge. And I was even more excited to learn that the inventor of Modge podge was a woman named Jan Westone. She developed it in the 1960's in her garage. She even Decoupaged her VW beetle with bed sheets. How COOL is she? I love her already. GO CRAFTY WOMEN!

I am dying to share pictures of the book, but I am still working on it. So stay tuned for more.

It's Girl Scout Cookie Time!

I could write 74 posts today. Already. It's insane.

My morning was just fabulous when I heard that my 12 boxes of girl scout cookies were in. $36.00 later I am holed up with a box that has 12 boxes of various cookies. Although 5 are just for others because they are varieties that I don't like. But the peanut butter patties, lemon pastry cremes, peanut butter sandwiches, and shortbreads are ALL MINE baby!

I went to sleep at 12:30 last night and at 2:30 I was wide wide wide awake. I finally got back to sleep at 4:30, after I decided that if I was still awake at 5am I was going to work. Then I got up at 9am and of course it had been sleeting so there were plow trucks out and all kinds of scuttlebutt about the weather. Well after I had gotten my hair dry and some pants on, I was gawking (toplessly) out the window and it got REALLY REALLY dark and Green like tornado weather. It was 9:30am and dark as night and the trees started blowing and it was freaky. They looked like the top branches would snap off. I was freaked and husband told me to turn on the weather radio and I did and by the time I got the weather it was calm just like that. Then it started torential downpouring. And that went on for about an hour. Fab.

So on my way to work, I was trying to decide if it would suck to be a cow in the rain or if it would be liberating. The lack of clothing, the lack of responsibility, rolling in the mud. It would be like Woodstock every day. Then on route 6 there was a German Shepherd walking right down the middle of the highway, between Wyanet and Princeton. I pulled up behind him and the Dog turned around and looked at me, and then watched me drive by, mildly uninterested, and then started on his way again, still down the center of the road. My mind was aflurry of what I could do to help. open the door and let him into the passenger seat? Yes, I would do that. If I weren't on my way to work I would open the door and let a soaking wet strange german shepherd in my car. That will tell you how I feel about dogs. Besides, who wants to walk in the rain?

So, back to my cookies. What will I do for HNT?? Hmmm.... I will have to think a while on that. Check back tonight.

Medical Advice- Does your skin fall asleep?

Any doctor's reading my blog? I need medical advice. I have this spot on my left leg. The :skin: falls asleep. Okay I know this sounds bizarre. You know how when your leg falls asleep. You can't feel it. Like you know your leg is there but when you touch it, it's like tingly and it's "not there" It's like you lose feeling. About 6-8 months ago, I started to have this spot on my left leg where just a certain area of skin would "fall asleep" and tingle. It was so bizarre and it totally freaked me out. My husband thinks I am crazy. Okay, but this happens ALL the TIME and always on the same spot on the same leg. I am wondering, am I crazy? Is this like bad circulation? Nerve damage? Should I be concerned?

So does anyone else's skin fall asleep? Like this? Same place all the time? this might happen to me once a week or once every two weeks. I am not doing anything particular, wearing anything particular, no lotion or anything involved. Just a strange falling asleep of a section of my leg, like maybe a 4" wide and 6" long patch of skin on the upper side of my leg, between my knee and my thigh. It is so bizarre. I can poke and scratch and rub my leg and it's like I know I am touching my leg but I can't feel it. I am totally worried that this is like a "blood clot" or something.

What's up?

UPDATE: Further web searches prove that this could be skin cancer, anxiety, spider bites, arsenic poisioning, an aspartame reaction, polycystic liver or kidney disease, candida, sciatia, tendinitis. So I am sure that I could be dying or maybe my skin is just tired.

Broken Zippers and Black Eyes.

This morning was interesting. I had a few "issues." First, my back hurt like hell. I have arthritis in my lower back. I believe it is the result of a lower back injury and some double whiplash from a car accident about 4 years ago. Arthritis has settled into my lower back. If I take an anti-inflammatory like Nabeumatone, I don't have any pain. But I am convinced that taking an anti-inflammatory from age 25 till the rest of my life would definately kill me or give me some terrible side affects, so I try to deal with it by taking nothing, or the occasional Tylenol arthritis or Excedrin Tension headache. So this morning I took a hot bath to take away the arthritis pain.

Then as I was putting on my dress pants, the zipper "handle" came off them so I am officially zipped into pants that I can't unzip for fear that I will either break them or never get them zipped again without a handy "zipper handle." The friend that hems my pants when I tear the hems out, told me today that she "doesn't do zippers" and I understand. I have put four zippers in before, without issue. I seem to "grasp" the zipper insertion technique without issue, although in Homec I sewed my bear's arms and legs on backwards at least twice before I got them right. So usually I just prefer to pay someone else the $5-10 to get some sweing done than get all thecrap off my sewing machine and make my ass sit down to fix things. But I am starting to feel like I may either a) never unzip these pants again or b) put a replacement zipper in myself. I buy cheap clothes. I outgrow them or spill bleach on them, so no use being expensive. Like these pants cost me $11 each at Dots, but they are my favorites. I bought 4 pair for $34 each at Sears last year (aspostrophe brand) and when I brought them home and washed them, all of the hems came out instantly. I paid $5 per pair to have them hemmed again, because I didn't want to take them back because it's hard for me to find "tall" dress pants without paying a fortune. So I decided that if I have to sew the damn things anyway, they might as well be cheap ass pants.

So after having a pair of pants on that I was stuck in, I tried to put my earrings in and I dropped 3 earrings off the earring angel (don't ask) and when I tried to crawl behind the dresser to get them, (in my black pants, thank god the floor was dust and dog hair free) I caught my browbone on the sharp corner of my jewelry armoire and just about poked my eye out. Instead the bone on the outer corner of my eye caught it. I just about saw stars. Actually, little blue birdies tweeting about my head. Crap. I was waiting for a black eye but haven't seen one yet.

So that was my morning. In a nutshell.

Party Was a Bust.

Well, the party was kinda a bust. Only 4 people came, plus the consultant. This was very disappointing to me. My scrapbooking and stamping parties usually have 10-14 in attendance and have always been $1000-1200 shows, and my Girls Night Out (Sex Toy) party last year was so huge that it reached $1200 and we had a GREAT time. I had coolers with alcohol around the room. One girl threw up but besides that it was a great party. So this was fairly tame for me. I did open a bottle of wine, and I put a second in the freezer (bad wine action, I know) and then I forgot about it and the cork about popped out on it's own. But I did drink 3/4 of the first bottle all by myself because no one else wanted alcohol. I had varieties of chocolate cheesecake, Taco Dip, Spinach Dip, Cheese and Crackers, veggies and olives and ranch dip, sprite, coke, water, and wine. That's what I had for supper. At about 11, and 3 glasses of wine later, I was ready for bed and I slept like a ROCK. Yeah! So Matt was right on with the "just one more glass" thing.

I did get three orders, and I had two outside orders, and I have five people who still want to see a catalog. So if anyone out there needs any Longaberger.... Now would be the time! Puh-Lease? LOL. Shameless promotion.

So the house is sparkling and the fridge is full of food. It's Valentine's day and I actually want to invite people over for snacks and drinks. But who knows if that is even possible. Will husband be mad at that? who knows.

I lost the back off of one of my brand new diamond earrings. I actually was having problems with it. They have those special backs that you push on but that won't come off unless you "unscrew" them. Well, the one that I had in my right ear was always just falling right off, as in worse than a regular earring. In the middle of the night I would wake up with something poking my boob and I would be lying on the earring back. Damn! Then last night when I was waiting for guests to arrive, I felt to see if the backs were on tight (new habit) and the right one had no back on it. But the earring was still there. Fucking Zales! So I need to call there and take them back. Hopefully they will exchange them without a hassle.

UGH!

Need some Longaberger?

It's PARTY time!

Exhausted. That's all I can say to describe today. Sunday was an exhausting day. It went on for 18 hours. It was long.

We rearranged the entire living room. Including the entertainment stand that is so heavy it takes 50 men to lift. Evan and his dad put together the coffee table and the two end tables. They are FABULOUS. We got the living room set up. I picked up the bedroom. I picked up the kitchen. I even cleaned off the top of the microwave that hasn't been "cleared off" since last JULY. Seriously. I picked up the scrapbook room and the office. The computer desk was lost with piles of books and magazines and papers. Things to do. Things to file. Things for Taxes. UGH... Computer and gadget software and manuals. Finally. Clean.

I picked up the bathroom, picked up the dining room. Did laundry. Washed Sheets and bedding and towels and rugs. Organized shoes. Husband took out the garbage TWICE. My house was a force to be reckoned with. It kicked my ass. But I did it. Then at 1am I made spinach dip, ranch dip, taco dip, and then I was like MUST SLEEP. And so I did. This morning I loaded the dishwasher, I switched Laundry, I got ready for work. I let the dogs outside. exhausted.

My feet and back hurt so badly on Sunday that I took Excedrin three times. Ugh.

Now my house is clean. Tonight is the longaberger open house, and next Sunday is Carrie's baby shower. I am ready. As ready as I will ever be.

The cleaning people come today to actually "clean" (all I did was pick up, sort, organize, and vacuum since we were moving furniture around) and I am sure the house will be smelling fantastic by this evening. I Have 7 Yes RSVP's, and while it isn's a HUGE party, I will be glad to see those people and have some company.

:) Here's to a glass of wine followed by a nap!

Hairdryer

So I bought a new hairdryer. A hairdryer is a major purchase for me. I have very very very thick straight hair. Very thick. As in "takes 15 minutes to dry my hair" thick. And as I grow it out again, it just takes longer. Growing up I had LONG LONG hair, down to my butt, and I remember each night being bathtime and my sister and I taking turns having my mom or dad brush and dry our hair for us. When we were little, my sister was blonde like me. But as she got older her hair turned brown.

So the hairdryer that I had was a travel hairdryer. I bought it on clearance one year. I loved it because the handle folds up so it gets really small and fits into a suitcase nicely, and it has an extra long cord, and most importantly, it was 1875 watts. When I purchased it, it was almost impossible to find an 1875 watt hairdryer. And more importantly, it is a Revlon. Revlon is the only hairdryer manufacturer that you can find (other than brands at a beauty supply store) that WORKS. I mean that has POWER. Can you hear my tim the toolman taylor grunt? MORE POWER BABY! Conair hairdryers are crap.

Recently the travel hairdryer is "going south" and it will either shut itself off or kick itself down to low gear, taking longer to get me out the door in the morning. Husband keeps hearing my curse at the hairdryer, and he recommended a new one. I just kept saying "i know, i know" and putting it off. Then I had a horrifying vision of my hairdryer not working at ALL and me having to go to work WITHOUT MY HAIR DONE! Ahhhh! Nightmare. SO last night I started hairdryer shopping.

I was overwhelmed with the 1875 Watt options at Wal-Mart. There were actually 3 Revlons with 1875 watts. Apparently everyone has abandoned the "cord keeper" design because there were none of those, and that is what I wanted to get, but I won't sacrifice brand and 1875 watts for a cord keeper. Although husband hates my hairdryer cord when I don't "wrap it up."

So I got the hairdryer home and this morning I got to use it for the first time. Holy Hello Hairdryer. It KICKS ASS! Now, I know that most of you (including men) are going HOW can you spend an entire post about a fucking hairdryer?? But let me tell you, WOW.

It has a high and low speed and for the first time ever, THREE temps. Cool, Warm, and Hot. And a Cool shot button. AND coolest of all? Sensor technology that you can switch on or off. What I like is that if you have the sensor technology on, and you turn the hairdryer ON, when you pick up the dryer it turns on, and when you set it down it turns itself OFF. how cool is that? Awesome. It's like the tech geek's hairdryer. I am still getting used to the sleek rocker switches, I seem to grip the Handle for dear life, and in the process, turn the dryer off and change the speeds unintentionally. I will get used to that. So My hair ws dry in like 1/2 the time, and it was not "frizzizled" by the extreme heat. The power of that thing is awesome. And it is red. Can a hairdryer BE and sexier? Nope.

So I am happy. Thanks Revlon. My hair thanks you.