Do you know how hard it is to drag your ass out of bed and be motivated when you know you will go to work and bring home the equivalent of $1.25 and hour? And this is in the good Ol USA, not Mexico. No Third World Country. Ugh. Dramatic. I know. But man is it hard to feel motivated to give 100% of yourself when you could be home in your stretchy pants eating cereal and playing with your kid all day.
My mind has been ROLLING with what I will do. ROLLING with ideas. Dollar signs. Business Opportunities. SAHM and WAHM thoughts. It's so hard for me to get to sleep at night. Ever since feeling the pain of a postpartum paycheck, I have gone to bed at 12am or 1am instead of my usual 10 or 10:30. Even when I lay down, my mind swims for another hour at least. Frustrating. My husband just says "Don't worry. Don't stress" and while I appreciate his comforting comments, if it were that easy to turn MY brain off, I would have done it by now. In talking with CB I got to the bottom today, determining that you can't really make the "right" decision in this situation because you can't know the outcome. You just can't know what will happen 20 years from now, and whether or not either decision is the "right" one. So I am going to try to not let this eat me alive for a while. Speaking of eaten alive.... I swear something is biting my back.
I have been investigating Sergers. The Husqvarna has the best reviews, even over most singer models I have read about. Although Brother gets fairly good reviews. I think I need to go to a sewing store and see them demonstrated. But those are few and far between these days. The closest one is like 45 minutes away. Trying to figure out if I should have Evan take me, go by myself, or what.
Ahhh.... Decisions. Life is full of them.