It's all about perspective

You know, tonight, I was feeling in a funk. For some reason, Fridays are great days for me, but Friday night's I get all cranky. Well, I guess I shouldn't say "for some reason" because I am pretty sure I can pinpoint why. Ardyn goes to school, and I am down to one child all day, and I run around and get stuff done, and by the time I pick her up, I realize that I didn't get ENOUGH done, and I am frustrated, and then she is tired because she didn't nap, and usually a little ornery, and STARVING, and I get home and unload the van of all the CRAP and the house is usually leaving something to be desired, and Evan is usually doing something, and I am trying to find someone who wants to hang out with a mom and her two little kids, and never have any luck, and therefore I am home alone with both cranky tired kids to kick off my weekend. And this makes me feel all full of self pity, which is not where I want to be. So.

Tonight I focused on getting the kids fed and ready for bed, so that I could get a bit of time in peace and quiet. What I really wish I had was a little fire pit in the yard and after the kids were in bed I would take the baby monitor outside and sit by the fire enjoying the weather and relaxing in my rocking chair. But I don't have one. And so when I am thinking all "woe is me" and I decide to check my email and upload videos from the camcorder, I find an email from my cousin Jessica, with her biopsy results, letting us all know that she has lung cancer and that she is terrified. And suddenly my life spins back into perspective and I realize that I have no reason to feel cranky, or sorry for myself, and that overall my life is pretty damn great. And I feel scared for her and worried about her and her husband, and I feel terrible for even considering that my life was lacking anything. And I think about how unfair it is that someone (that ANYONE) has to have cancer at all, let alone AGAIN. And I am reminded that getting cancer myself is one of my biggest fears. It's not something that I try to dwell on, but I know all to well that it can happen to anyone, at any moment, and I think about all the plastics, and the chemicals in our food and our diapers and about our contaminated groundwater, and our polluted air, and overexposure to UV rays, and it just overwhelms me. Please send out a little prayer for Jessica, because it sounds like the next step is to have surgery again, to open up her chest wall and remove the lower half of her lung. And I want everyone sending good vibes her way as is physically possible. Because even though no one should have cancer, I especially feel that a 25 year old newlywed shouldn't be going on her second round with it. And I hope that the next news is good news for her.

Deep Breath.... and Onward....

Today WAS a good day. We overslept. My alarm went off for daycare and I snoozed. And I snoozed again, and at 8:30 my Mother-In-Law decided to call my cell phone and it happened at the same time as the alarm was going off, and I got all confused and somehow I must have turned the alarm off instead of snoozing. And so I woke up at about 9:30 and Ardyn was supposed to be at daycare just after 9. So we got a lazy start to the day and that's okay. Ardyn cried all the way to school because she was still tired, and because she kept rubbing her eyes and rubbed her sunscreen into them until it was burning, and then she was mad and was in her carseat smacking herself in her face and saying "Mommy Look at my EYES!" Poor kid. But explaining to her that rubbing her eyes was not only causing her problem, but making it workse, just didnt do anything for her.

At school she was upset and didn't want me to leave. So when Marek and I got out of there it was like "WHEW!" Then we went and picked up a prescription, and Claritin, and Lunch. Then we went to "Ye Olde Place of Employment" (my old employer) and visited with some of my former coworkers and my boss. That was fun. After that we were going to visit Great Grandma Mona, but no one was around. So we ran our Wal-Mart errand (where they gave me only part of my prepaid photo order and I didn't realize it till 6pm tonight) and then we caught a few yard sales by pure chance, and all THREE of them had girls size 3T and 4T clothing. I spent about $35-40 and got a TON of clothes. 13 Wal-mart sized bags to be precise, including two Care Bears blankets the size of a toddler bed, two pair of pink snowpants, a pink winter vest, a pullover with matching mittens from the Children's Place, a Columbia Jacket, A potty training seat for Grandma Deb's house, a Thermos Funtainer like the two that we adore already, and TWO HUGE Washing machine loads of clothes. I found Hanna Anderssen, The Children's Place, The Kids Store, Old Navy, Ralph Lauren, Gap, and a WHOLE Bunch more. Lots and lots of footie pajamas, sweatshirts, long johns, and even a pair of fuzzy blue slippers for this winter. TONS of pants and long sleeved shirts. Insanely cute sweaters and long sleeved dresses made to wear with tights. It was like it was totally meant to be! The Thermos itself sells for $12 and I got it for 50 cents! I currently have a HUGE load in the dryer, and when I get everything cleaned and sorted by size, I hope to take a picture to show you just how much good stuff I got for such a low price.

In other exciting news, I got a new toothbrush today. It made me feel guilty. Isn't that strange? For the past 3 years (maybe 4) I have used the same toothbrush. and by that I don't mean THE SAME toothbrush, but the same TYPE, STYLE and even COLOR of toothbrush. When I saw this new toothbrush, I was in love. I felt so guilty, I fell for the gimmicky pretty bumps on the handle, and the interesting bristles. It's a Colgate 360 and It is freaking awesome. There are bumps on the BACK of the toothbrush head, and they are designed to use to clean your tongue and the insides of your cheeks, and it was pleasantly surprising to feel the bumps on the insides of your cheeks when you were just doing your regular brushing. I felt all invigorating and my teeth were ACTUALLY Squeaky clean when I was done. As in they really squeaked. Apparently I have been an unhappy brusher and my life (and dental hygeine) have been turned around by this new toothbrush. I bought a two pack (per usual) and I can't wait to see what Evan says when he tries his.

After yard sales today, Marek and I went back to Grandma Mona's and relaxed, changed his diaper, nursed him, and enjoyed conversation and a tall glass of icy lemonade with the family. Then I talked to Lisa, and my husband, and then went to pick up Ardyn. I borrowed a couple of toddler books from the daycare library, one about toddler activities and discipline, another about potty training, and the last all about activities for toddlers. I haven't read them yet, but I did flip through, and just looking at them gave me some ideas, and actually reminded me about an idea that I keep MEANING to do, and that I hope can be my weekend project. I want to make alphabet flashcards from REAL photos. I want Daddy to hold a sign with the letter D and let me take his picture, and also take pictures of other family members and things that she is familiar with (c is for car and use a picture of her cozy coupe, etc) and then laminate them and go through them with her. Right now she knows the letter A and the letter M, and says "A is for Ardyn" and "M is for Marek" and then "M is for Mommy." I now know that she is able to remember her letters, so I would like to do some repetition with familiar things.

I know that Evan really wants me to home school our kids. I have NOTHING against homeschooling, but I really don't know if I am cut out for it. AND I don't know that Evan understands that she will miss out on some of the socialization of school (we live in a really small area) and that I will still need funds to buy workbooks, and curriculum, as well as some learning accessories.... And I think HOW in the WORLD will I have the patience to do that, and do I really WANT to? I am interested in it, but deathly afraid of it at the same time. And I don't want my kids to be ostracised because of it. I am ironically watching an episode of the Duggars right now, that goes a little more in depth about Michele's homeschooling all the kids. It's very interesting that all of the older kids have computers and they have computer curriculum and that one of the older girls has the responsibility of checking the sibling's grades on the computer system. They expect it to cost 1 million dollars if they need to send all the kids to college. I think the best thing is the smile that it brings to my face when I see Michele teaching the kids while breastfeeding the littlest daughter. And pausing to change a dirty diaper. There is nothing more realistic and real life than that! I also love how in many recent episodes they have mentioned that they are late night people, and don't like to get up in the morning. That is TOTALLY up my alley! I am really appreciating the Duggars more nowadays, especially when I see all the drama and sadness on Jon and Kate these days. I am not saying I agree with everything the Duggars believe in, or disagree with Everything on Jon and Kate... not at all.... I found it interesting that the Duggar family, as a rule, does not dance! Wow. But to see the oldest Duggar Daughters stand up and play their violins together, it's just AWESOME. And to see Michele nursing the baby (covered of course) in the middle of the Kindergarten classroom.... wow. I can't think of many places where that would be allowed. And now that Tori and Dean has started a new season, I am having some fun stuff to catch at night on Tivo.

Well, I am getting plenty sleepy. And I can't think straight. So later....