Wednesday, October 29, 2008

My daughter is a genius

I just pinched my finger in the bathroom door. And I said "Fuck." And I realized that it is probably better at this time to create a new bad word. One that can be repeated in public by a small child and not make anyone turn their head. A friend's grandma used to say "Couch."

I will need to repeatedly injure myself and practice using the new word so that I don't screw up. Any word suggestions?

I am not sure if it is a good idea to feed a 1 year old Smarties at 10pm, but we have nothing to do tomorrow morning. She can sleep it off and so can I. She has never had smarties before. She can't have much candy cuz of the milk thing. Right now she is watching Dragon Tales and tearing apart a pad of yellow sticky notes with determined vengeance. She has been playing with lots of random items lately. Flashlights. Doorstops. Headbands. Everything is an instrument of her imagination.

I am filling the bathtub, and it is great until she figures out that it is filling (like she just did now) because then she wants to dive in headfirst. No fear that child. So I have had to shut and barricade the bathroom door and she is having a hysterical moment. We are going to take a bath. She needed one, well, a while ago. I think yesterday morning was technically bath day (we bathe every other around here) and I ended up showering alone last night (for the first time since about 2007) and she was at grandmas for a visit. It ws so quiet here last night that I kept thinking she was about to wake up from her nap. But I got a TON done. So tonight we are going to take our regular together bath. We're all about conserving water here. And making bathtime easy. And that is the easiest way to give her a good bath, spend time with her, and still get my own bath. If I am in the tub and she is not, she is hysterical trying to climb over the sides (usually she is successful) and get in with me. There is no bathing without her, unless dad stands by to whisk her away, or I put her in her robe, which makes her realize that the bath is over. Don't ask why. That's just the way it is. I am considering using a Simplicity pattern that I have to make a bigger, fluffier, hooded robe maybe with velcro closures so that I can just put it on her easier when I am inside the tub and she is not. But I really should get some nice thick Terry cloth. Which I won't find unless I go to a good fabric store. I like to feel like she is warm and dry instead of wet and shivering while I finish up the end of my bath (the shaving, etc just can't be done with her in the tub too. Room restrictions and tiny grabby hands prevent it.)

So today In my stupor of internet wonder I discovered Burdastyle. Oh lord. It's like heaven for sewers (people who sew, not like rancid underground pipes of poo.) I just can't contain myself. Found some patterns I want to try, including a shirt for Ardyn, and of course my laser printer just decided today that it doesn't want to feed the paper. I have tried auto-feed, and the tray, with all sorts of varying paper amounts. The rollers are just being so obstinate. So I have been saving PDF Files for patterns and instructions and SOON I tell you, I will get these things printed. It irritates me to no end. I may even have to hook up Evan's Deskjet and print them with that. I so despise inkjets. I love my laser. It's done this before, and woken up a week later in a better mood, to work another year or so without complaining. I hope that this is the case again.

Well, off to take the bath. I will be back after I get her to bed!

11:09pm. Nice bath. Really nice. We soaked and sang every song we could think of, including a rousing rendition of Old McDonald had a farm in which he seems to also be an exotic animal enthusiast and have things like snakes and monkeys in addition to your everyday farm animals. Ardyn likes to insert the correct sound for the animal as soon as I announce which animal is on the farm. It's too cute. Since we are taking oil bath now for both of our eczema, we soak for about 10 minutes and then we quickly wash her hair, get her out, and then I wash my hair. The idea is as little exposure to soap as possible. I find myself giving her underwater massages on her legs and feet while we sing songs and soak. Tonight she was saying "Sing!" and when I let her out of the tub I put her robe on and she promptly tore it back off again. I noticed that her robe has short sleeves (it's from florida and worked wonderfully after swim lessons) and that I should indeed make her one with long sleeves. Perhaps really long with velcro at the ends so that I can wrap it around her straight jacket style and she can't get it off. Well anyway, she ran around naked and splashed in the water over the side of the tub and tried to catch globs of floating shaving cream and put them in her mouth. And then, she did the most amazing thing. She found a square of toilet paper. To which I groaned and knew that it would entertain her to no end. And instead of tearing it up, you know what she did? She squatted right there in the bathroom and WIPED with it. I shit you not. She wiped herself with a teeny square of toilet paper. And because she got an amazed response from me, she continually wiped herself for the next 10 minutes until she had little pieces of toilet paper stuck all over her crotch. What a crazy smart kid.

And as per her usual bedtime routine, we got in a nighttime diaper, put on her prescription lotion (mimyx) and her pajamas... then situated her room (CD player on, lights out, crib prepared, fresh blanket) and she gave me a kiss when I asked and leaned over towards her crib. And lay down and looked up at me when I placed Stewart the Seahorse (lights up like a gloworm) in her crib "just so" on her right side, and dog in her left arm, and tucked her in "snug as a bug in a rug" and turned on her Rainforest Crib soother. Then I give her a kiss via my hand and up goes the side rail and out of the room I go. And she doesn't cry. And I love that.

Now I have decided that I won't put on clothes, just a robe, and I won't dry my hair. And I should go to sleep but I am trying to talk myself out of browning 3 pounds of ground beef tonight, as I can do it tomorrow morning. I will be making taco dip and crock-pot lasagna with garlic bread as tomorrow night is Grey's Anatomy night and my mom and sister and I all get together and watch at mom's house. Since Liz and I both couldn't afford TV for a while. But now I have cable at home again, and DVR, so we can rewind.... and so I have suggested that we make this week a gathering at our house. Which will be awesome. So I am looking forward to that.

But I also have a meeting at work tomorrow and WIC coupons to pick up, so I am trying to tell myself that I can brown the beef in the morning, but I know we will sleep late, and so the morning won't really be morning by the time that I feed Ardyn and myself and get ready to go to my meeting after lunch. But I don't really feel like doing it all tonight. I already cleaned the fridge out tonight and haven't QUITE finished disposing of all the ickies that I need to stiuff down the garbage disposal. I should probably do that and then brown the beef in the morning. And then put together the lasagna and the dip and then get ready for my meeting and get things ready for mom to watch Ardyn.

Well, Evan just texted me. And I need to get offline. I am addicted all over again.

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