Friday was Evan’s grandpa’s funeral. This was his biological grandpa, who he really barely knew. But all the same, we had planned to take Ardyn to daycare and then Evan would go to the funeral. I was going to scrapbook at my mom’s with Marek and try to finish his baby announcements, and then get Ardyn early from school and take both kids to see all his family and attend the dinner after the funeral. None of that worked out as planned, because Ardyn woke up at 7am with a 103 fever. Nothing brought it down until that afternoon when we started alternating Tylenol and Motrin. Thank god that worked, or we would have been in the ER again. She was glassy eyed and listless, and when I gave her a bath she started shaking and crying uncontrollably. Poor thing. Luckily she woke up Saturday morning completely fever-free. Strange. But we were glad. So on Saturday we were able to meet Evan’s family for lunch, and some time at his grandma’s, where we were able to see his family that was home for the funeral…. From Louisiana, Florida, and Pennsylvania. We met for lunch at the Underground Inn, and the food was TERRIBLE. The only thing worse than the food was the service, and we were the only party in the place that was eating. Now I know why.
Sunday we woke up and headed out to my parent’s, where the Easter Bunny had hidden lotsa of eggs for Ardyn to find, and she got TWO easter baskets. We had a nice day, delicious food, and a good time watching Ardyn hunt for eggs and open them.
Sunday night I put Ardyn in bed, nursed Marek, and then went to Wal-Mart while Evan stayed home with the kids. It’s amazing what one can accomplish without any distractions and with two open arms. I bought myself some new underwear (badly needed) and a couple of pair of shorts, and also got a nice tummy time mat/gym for Marek. I had lots of gift cards to use.
Today we have done lots of picking up around the house. Evan did a ton this morning and I did a bunch more picking up this afternoon and have the Roomba vacuuming while Ardyn is napping. Marek is starting to become a little more fussy these days, he basically wants to be held all the time, which I just can’t do with both kids. I am trying to rotate him between swing, bouncy seat, and other apparatuses between feedings, to try to get him happier with entertaining himself. Although he is usually just sleeping… he still wants to be held. He loves his pacifier, but of course as all newborns do, he is constantly spitting it out or knocking it out and I am constantly re-inserting.
Ardyn is doing really well with him. Every morning when Evan gets her up, she asks for Mommy and Marek and comes in to see us right away. She knows which toys are his, and we have no issues with pacifiers now, as she knows a pacifier is his and brings it right to me without trying to put it in her mouth, like she did when he was first home. She’s in good spirits and napping well. Some days are better than others, but she’s a toddler, and it was like that BEFORE he came along. She loves to say “Marek” and knows that the stuffed elephants are his.
Today I made an appointment with my endocrinologist to follow up on my thyroid postpartum. It’s appointment central around here! In the next two-three weeks, we have appointments about 2-3 days out of the week. Ardyn sees a Pediatric Gastroenterologist and an Allergist for her Dairy Allergy, Marek has two appointments with the pediatrician and one at WIC, and I have two postpartum checkups and also this endocrinologist appointment. I need to get pumping some milk so that I can leave Ardyn with a grandma and not worry. I have two bottles pumped already, but I will need more with all the upcoming things!
Now that I have the house all picked up, it would be wise to mop the floors. I wish that it were Friday tomorrow because I would have better hopes of getting that done with just one kid instead of two. Especially if I only had the one that can’t even roll over.
Today Ardyn helped me put together the Precious Planet Activity Mat. She saw the box and the toys and said “Ohhhhhhhh what’s that?” and I said “It’s a new toy for Marek.” And she said “Ohh Marek!” and then as we were unpacking it she was naming all the animals and kept saying things like “Marek’s bear” or “Marek’s Monkey.” Darn she’s smart. I thought for sure it might be a war. The only thing she did want to do was JUMP on the mat once I laid it out. She kept saying “Jump!” and “Ardyn Jump!” and bouncing all over it. I ended up putting the mat on the bed and her on the floor so Marek could check it out in peace, without a 25 pound toddler jumping on him. Safety first!
Ardyn got lots of sandbox and outside toys for Easter. Today I pulled out the pink “outdoor” tote that we used last year to keep things like Bubbles and Sidewalk Chalk. I added all the new bubbles she got, and the shovels and rakes and scoops, and her Nemo Kite, and the pinwheel from Grandma, and the bug net from daddy, and the velcro baseball and glove, and the pink glittery bouncing ball. I can’t WAIT for our front yard to get fenced in so that we can play outside. It is practically driving me insane with anticipation. I even grabbed a mesh beach bag and put all the sandbox toys in there for now and put them on the porch. I just can’t wait. I am hoping that in the coming weeks we can get to Toys R Us and get her sandbox. I am excited that in just a year, Marek will be old enough to start playing outside with her. This summer will be fun, but next summer will be REALLY fun with both of them toddling around. Now if the weather would just cooperate!
This afternoon I sat and looked at the proof book for Ardyn’s 1 year photos. I can’t believe how much she has grown in the past 6-7 months. And how much her HAIR has grown! She has so many hair accessories now that it’s hard to choose which ones to wear. For Easter she got a bunch more ponytail holders and clips, and some cute cute sesame street pigtail holders. There is cookie monster, abby, elmo, and big bird. Too cute. Then last night when I was a free woman and shopping, I grabbed some really cute pigtail holders that were bright colored and jeweled. They match all the summer shirts and outfits she has in her closet. Another reason I can’t wait for summer! I want to see those chubby legs in all her new shorts and skorts. She’s so stinking cute in Capri pants I just want to eat her up.
Before her nap, she was sitting in her Red Anywhere chair, watching Dora, and I was just settling in to nurse Marek on the couch. Marek just got latched on and got a letdown started when Ardyn slipped and fell (I didn’t see exactly what adventurous circus feat she was attempting) and bumped her head on the floor, hard. I knew right away that it really had to hurt, based on the sound, and based on the silence I knew that the silent cry was happening. Of course I was trying to get to her and trying to feed Marek and he popped off in surprise and there was milk shooting all over the couch and all over everything within like three feet of me, and I just kept saying “come over to mommy Ardyn, I will make it better” and she silent cried her way over to the couch in slow motion and climbed up beside me. Poor Kid. She has been bumping her head a lot lately, which is ironic considering Grandma Deb taught her to sing “No More Monkeys Jumpin on the Bed” and her favorite part is “Bumped his head” and she slaps her head with the palm of her hand. And she also now sings “It’s raining, it’s pouring, the old man is snoring. He went to bed and BUMPED his head” and she slaps her head with that song too. LOL.
One thing that I am happy about is being able to take baths with her again. When I was really pregnant I was so uncomfortable and couldn’t fit in the tub well with her anymore, and then postpartum you aren’t supposed to take BATHS for so long…. And now I am finally back in the tub with her. It’s fun. We get to do lots of talking and singing in the tub, that’s kinda our bonding time without the baby. She loves to play in the water and she likes it when we wash hair and she lays back and floats in the water to rinse out her shampoo. We sing the alphabet and all kinds of other songs, and it’s just a neat time to have with her. I get lots of hugs, and then we put on lotion and her diaper and get dressed in the warm bathroom, and it’s just great to be back on track with that again. Putting on Lotion is something that I love to do with the kids. I love massage. I loved taking the infant massage class when Ardyn was a newborn, and I am trying to keep up with giving massages to Marek too. If I can’t do the massage butter, then I at least try to do their regular lotion after their baths. It’s important to me. I know how much the power of touch means between parents and kids, and how relaxing it is before bedtime. I know that they will grow up so fast, and I want them to still want to give me a hug and get a backrub or a foot rub as they get older, for as long as I can possibly keep that going. With Ardyn having eczema like me, it’s a good thing to keep up on moisturizing, and since Marek is so fair, he will likely have the same issues.
Cloth diapers are the same way. It’s just something that I like to do for my kids, and for the environment. It’s work. But it’s not too much work. It’s something that is fulfilling and makes me feel like I am doing the best I can for them, and for our whole family. That probably sounds cheesy, unless you use cloth, then you understand. I just recently got some “new” wool for Marek. It’s technically used, but new to us! I can’t wait to use it! I need to do a round of washing and lanolizing first. I got a pair of babyology longies from eBay that are new, and a light blue pair of knit longies that are used, and two pair of used fleece longies. I think I got a few more pair, like a pair of interlock jeans, but they haven’t arrived yet.
I have been feeling really well this time around. Postpartum is different for me now. I remember having so much anxiety and fear when Ardyn was new, all the way until she was like 6-9 months old. Being so worried that I would do something that wouldn’t be PERFECT. Things are going pretty well for me now, although I think that my hormones really started to fluctuate a few days ago. When Ardyn was sick and Evan had to go to the funeral, and I was home with a sick toddler and a new baby, it was plenty stressful. I felt some of that old panic and anxiety. I also was very frustrated because I felt lots of pressure to go to the dinner after the funeral, even though Ardyn was so sick that we were considering taking her to the ER. It’s hard to have other people putting expectations on you when you just can’t be everywhere and do everything. That was the biggest issue I had after having Ardyn and going back to work. I was so stressed out. My in-laws would invite us for supper on a weeknight and Evan would casually tell them yes, and then they would tell us what time to be there. I would get off work at 5pm, go pick up Ardyn at daycare, and then was expected to drive 20 minutes to their house and be there by 5:30. It wasn’t physically possible and it caused m e some real stress and anxiety. If I didn’t get there on time than it meant that I was inflexible. But it was so stressful for me, and it would make me so upset that I would make myself sick over it. I hate those times. Not to mention that because I was working, and breastfeeding, and using cloth diapers, every night I had to wash diapers and get them dry, pack them and all of Ardyn’s things for daycare the next day, AND wash and sterilize all the breast pump parts and the bottles from the day, pump milk before I went to bed, get Ardyn a bath, pack up the breastpump and bottles for the NEXT day, and get myself a bath so that I could get sleep and start the whole cycle over again. To spend the whole night at someone else’s house was torture for me, and set me far behind, and made me stressed and short on sleep. It was a horrible feeling and I am SO glad that I am SO fortunate to stay home with my kids and not have all that stress. But I can still feel that pressure when someone else starts to decide for me what I will be doing. I have to remember that I am in control of what I want to do, and if I can’t make all those things come together, I just need to step back and say no.
I can tell my hormones are a little wacky, because I am touchy about certain things, my face just started to break out, and my hair just started to dry and fall out some. Ahhh, postpartum. Can’t wait for the hormones to get back to “normal” – whatever that is!
Okay. Well this post is already 4 pages long in Word, so I had better get it posted and get my butt in gear. I have laundry to do, and the kids are both finally asleep. It’s almost 11pm, so I will probably just start a load and go to bed. Our friend Amethyst brought over two bags of boy clothes from her son, and I am washing and organizing them by size. Yay!