Thursday, November 01, 2007

Retail Therapy

Well, shopping made me feel better. It always does. Retail Therapy. Even if it's just Wal-Mart I can find shit to buy. We needed toilet paper, and laundry detergent. I needed a tote.

Ardyn was still so fussy... that when I put her in her carseat she was SCREAMING at me no matter if I gave her a pacifier, rocked her, swung her seat around a bit.... nothing. I finally had to get like 1 inch from her face to talk to her because she couldn't even hear me through her screaming. I got her calmed down and then I defrosted 2, 2ounce bottles of breastmilk and fed them to her in the carseat. She was out in an instant. The fastest way to soothe her without taking her out of the carseat, swaddling her, and breastfeeding her. We were on the road by 9:15. spent about an hour in the mart. I bought new super soft pajamas and a new robe. The robe is fitting, but I think I would like it bigger. Must exchange it. I bought brown, tan, and cream socks. All of mine seem to be mismatched now, and even after cleaning the laundry room, I have about 25 tan socks, and only two of them match. Seriously, that is no exaggeration.

Every single time the shopping cart sat still, Ardyn was crying. Cart stops, pacifier goes flying out of her mouth, and screaming ensues. Don't stop to look at anything. I meant to try the robe on before I left the store, but I guess it makes sense that I forgot. I also got a cool thing for the laundry room that I can put each person's foldable laundry and underwear/socks in until I can match them. Or hey, how about husband can match his own socks? Yeah. That's a great idea! So I got to the checkout and had to exit with TWO carts because I had a giant tote that took up one entire cart and another stackable unit that took up another cart. I Was trying to push both carts (with the baby) and a friend Jen (HER husband Evan is friends with MY husband Evan, and she once sold Pampered Chef as one of my recruits) was shopping there and offered to escort me and help by pushing one cart. She did, thankfully, even though I told her no (why do I refuse help? What the fuck is wrong with me? Martyr much?) and then she put the tote and the other stuff IN my car while I got Ardyn snapped in, AND she took both carts back inside the store. Doesn't she deserve like a medal or something?

What I love more than anything is women and moms reaching out to help other women and moms. What I love is when you are shopping and you see another mom and she looks at you with a look of "I've been there!" and it's such a good feeling to know that she understands the exhaustion on your face, or the fact that you are changing a diaper in the backseat of your car, or breastfeeding in the middle of the mall, or trying to contain a tantrum, or anything mom related. I get so sick of moms who compete with everyone. My kid did this and this and this and has this and that and this. It isn't a competition! Everyone is proud of their child. That is natural. But at the same time, be proud of another person's kids. Be happy to help. OFFER to help and I guess sometimes, when I mom refuses or seems overwhelmed or too proud or feels guilty for accepting, insist on helping her. Please. I don't mean overstep your bounds and invade on her privacy, but please offer to help. Two or three times.

Today makes me want to read the book "it takes a village" and Honestly I never even gave a second thought to that phrase or anything in the past. It just made me laugh about all the people that I don't want influencing my kids. But moms have to stick together. And when I think about all the favors that I have done for other moms over the years, before I had kids or realized how much of a big freaking nice deal it was to have someone who gave a crap.... I realize that there are a lot of people out there who owe me. And I mean owe me BIG TIME. And when I also think about it, several of those people have disappeared out of my life. Mostly because we got too busy, sometimes because I get sick of giving giving giving all the time and not getting anything in return. A lot of those people were "users." And I don't do favors to get things in return, but getting respect in return is my number one goal. I think of friends who had kids in high school, and friends who had kids after high school, and I spent lots of my time with those kids. Babysitting for free. Buying BIRTHDAY presents and CHRISTMAS presents! Giving them rides to doctor appointments and family member's houses. Helping decorate for parties and dress up for Halloween. Taking them Trick-or-Treating. Taking them shopping. Taking them to movies. I bought their parents baby shower presents and bridal shower presents and wedding gifts. And those people have taken advantage of me and disappeared. I never saw a shower or wedding gift from them, not even a card. And here I sit with a 2 month old and I can literally count on one hand the people who would do anything for me in return. And two of those people live in Alaska and Chicago respectively. Isn't that crazy? I guess this makes me realize that while it takes a village, I still need to start looking out for my own family. And how lucky I am that some of those people aren't in my life anymore. Because I don't need things from people who aren't truly my friends. I don't need the hassle... and I don't need to be used.

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