Crazy Happens Everyday...

I know this. Because at 11:56pm I am sitting on the couch with a big stuffed dog, with a breastpump in one hand, and a towel on my head. And under that dryer-warmed towel, is a slow cooker liner. Yes. As in Crock-Pot. And under that plastic crock-pot condom? Extra-Virgin Olive Oil. On my hair. And my scalp.

I don't know if it's dry weather or postpartum hormones but my HAIR and my SCALP are so dry! I haven't had my hair colored since sometimes July or August. But it is dry! My scalp itches. My scalp NEVER itches. It hasn't itched anytime in my life. Really. But it's been itching for WEEKS and I am really sick of it. My hairdresser gave me some deep conditioning treatment stuff. I leave it on for 10-20 minutes. It helps my hair for that day... but then it's dry again. But it never stops my itchy scalp. EVERYWHERE online recommends Olive Oil. You get people who do it on a regular basis. And then you get the 1% that say "Don't do it! It won't wash out! Your hair will smell! It will be weighted down and greasy!" And I can believe that is possible, but my opinion is that you just wash it out (shampoo, rinse, repeat) until the olive oil is out. And I have to say that I can't trust someone whose response says something like "don't do it! itll nevr wash out and yur hair will b greazy 4 weeks!" I want to say "Are you like 12? Did you TEXT MESSAGE your answer on a cell phone? Are we going to be BFF's if I do what you say?" Christ. I hate it. Too lazy to type? Then your answers don't sound very intellectual to me.

So here I sit with olive oil on my locks. My hair already felt better when I was pulling it through my hair. I was trying to get it massaged into my scalp, but my hair was so dry and soaking it up, that I think I would have had to put half a bottle on my head to soak my scalp. Some people recommend putting it on and leaving it overnight, with the towel laid out over your pillowcase. I am considering that but I am not sure what will happen when Evan unexpectedly climbs into bed with me and finds me wearing a crock pot liner over greasy hair and smelling like Olive Oil.

For some reason I am having a problem getting letdown with the pump today. my usual 4-6 ounces per session has been reduced to a meager 1-3. My back hurts and my neck hurts and I am tired. Probably too tired to wash the olive oil out of my hair. I guess this means it's off to bed scary after all. Pull it into a ponytail, maybe ditch the crock-pot plastic and just put the towel onto my pillow. But then the last thing I want is un-removable grease stains on my comforter or something crazy like that. Goodnight.