Down with the Sickness

I should be in bed. I should be in bed.

1am. Told you.

In all fairness, I spent from 8:50 till 9:30 getting Ardyn ready for bed, nursing her to sleep, and putting her in bed. And then I spent 9:30 till 11:45.... putting her to bed. Again. And Again. And Again. Shushing. Nursing. Popping the pacifier back in her mouth. Rocking. Jiggling. Bouncing. Walking. Talking quietly and reassuringly.

Then I drank a cup of tea and finally finished the magazine that I started to flip through at 1:00 this afternoon. And I didn't read anything. Just flipped through it.

Then I went through a bag of clothes that I had bought at a garage sale a while back, all size 3 months to 2T... took off the tags (which they STAPLED to the clothes thanks) and placing them in the hamper along with the tote full of 3-6 months clothes that I went through today that a friend sent me.

I also scrubbed out the car seat and soaked a sleeper that had more poop in it than the diaper did. When grabbing some food at a restaurant this evening, Ardyn had a major blowout in her carseat, leaked out the diaper, through the sleeper, and all over everything, clear down to her little toes. That was a fun cleanup. Wipes head to toe in the bathroom that HAS no changing station. Yep.

Then I went down and did a few loads of laundry, and was down there so long that I literally got three loads done... because I was CLEANING the laundry room that is horribly terrible. I hate the laundry room. No one that lives here ever puts clothes away. Ever. It's a nightmare. We live out of the laundry room. Except Ardyn. I am too particular about her stuff.

Then I refilled my pill case. Then I sterilized breast pump parts, bottles, and pacifiers in the micro-steamer. Then I called my husband, who is so so so so sick that when he went to McDonalds at 11:30pm he never came home. But he is so so so sick that he complains every 4 seconds. And the cold that he has- Ardyn and I had first. And I was operating for a week with the same cold and in addition a sore throat, with an average of 2-4 hours of sleep a night for that entire week, and also taking care of a sick baby who couldn't breathe. And suctioning her nose out while she screamed every single hour during every single night. And that. Sucked. And no one else cared. And he is so so so sick. So sick that he told me he would just have to lay around tonight and be on the couch. And now he's missing. That's how sick he is. Very sick. I feel bad for him. Really bad. So bad that I might wait by the door with a frying pan to put him out of his misery.

The husband and I got flu shots today too. I was a big girl. I got a candy bar from the plastic pumpkin when I was done. I stood still. I didn't cry. It didn't even hurt. I have never had a flu shot in my entire life. I work in healthcare and they offer them free to us each year as employees because we are around sickness and disease and INFLUENZA! I never get one. And this year, even though I hate needles, I got one. For my daughterThe things you do for your kids. Now I know all abut what my mom always told me. But the shot was nothing. Because once you work in a hospital and have blood drawn on a regular basis and then go through labor and childbirth and an epidural and 6 tries to get an IV into your veins and a tear in your undercarriage followed by a postpartum hemorrhoid.... a little flu shot seems awfully petty and small.

Well, if my arms wouldn't just get tired from holding that frying pan over my head in anticipation, I might just stay up even longer. But I am all out of electricity and it's time for this mom to recharge. But by the time I get the dangerously broken out face washed and toned and moisturized with the proactiv trial kit and put some chapstick on and a sleeping bra... I assume that it will be 2am. Another thing I figure. I might not ever sleep without a bra again. As long as I live. When I was little my grandma told me that if I wanted to keep perky breasts I would have to wear a bra every night. I was like "Uh. no." but now it's all about keeping the leaking at bay. Which I almost never leak. But the night I don't wear a bra and breast pads to bed is the night I will wake up swimming in warm milk. And that's just wasteful. By the time I get done nursing babe #1, I am sure to be well on my way to babe #2... and so on, and so forth. Evan says five kids. I say "great. where do we put them and who pays for daycare? And who takes care of them when I go crazy?" He says they are stackable.

Baby Detox

Last night was a longggg night. Didn't I say that yesterday! Ha. Ardyn was up from 2-5am, and I have learned something. In previous nights, I have spent the time trying to shh her and get her to go back to sleep. Swaying, Shushing, Pacifier, patting, rubbing, etc. It never works. In the end I end up feeding her at least twice and she eventually wears herself out. And I become incredibly frazzled and stressed at several hours of her fussiness or crying, except for the moments I am feeding her. So last night, I decided no more pacifier in bed. Not necessary. She doesn't need the pacifier to fall asleep, and it causes nothing but problems. She spends the entire night sucking, then falling asleep, spitting out the pacifier, and immediately waking up and screaming because she lost it. Then I spend the night trying to put it back in her mouth, or attempting to hold it in place in my sleep, or attempting to keep my hand the perfect distance from her face so that it can't fall out but she doesn't KNOW that I am there trying to hold it in her mouth. Evan and I both decided long ago that they should make some form of pacifier headgear that will hold it in place forever. We will someday strike it rich with the invention. So last night (this morning) at 2:30 am, we went through pacifier detox. She shook all over like an addict. She screamed. She turned red. She was super-pissed. I also took a new angle on the waking up and staying awake. Instead of trying to spend that time getting her back to sleep, I decided to embrace the awake.

Embrace the Awake- "Operation Trick the Baby...."
Step 1- Remove her from our bedroom.
Step 2- Take her to the nursery, with the lights low (Ikea moon nightlight lit softly)
Step 3- Plug in the electric heater to keep the room super snuggly
Step 4- Snuggle with her in the rocking chair, cover us both with the fleece blanket.
Step 5- Breastfeed her (over. and over. and over.) until she is so full that she can't see straight and her eyes are so heavy that she can't keep them open if she even tried.
Step 6- consistent and perhaps excessive burping to prevent sleep spit-up or hiccups (very detrimental to the plan)
Step 7- Rock Rock Rock until her eyes roll back in her head and she becomes a limp noodle. Clause A- If she is awake as awake can be, embrace that by making her laugh. Sing. Stick your tongue out. Talk in silly voices. Despite your sleep exhaustion, pretend like you are the happiest mommy ever to be awake for 4 hours in the middle of the night. A happy baby will start to yawn before a screaming baby.