It's a little dreary outside, but not really. Basically it's nice, but not sunny. It's only 10:30 though, so that could still change. Yesterday was SUCH a busy day. It was fun, but today I am sore and tired and did I mention SORE?!
We headed to Princeton for lunch at Pizza Hut with my friend Dorene. We used to run the Princeton Computer User group together. But now we both have other interests and commitments and it seems that the group itself is slowing and potentially disbanding. But I still love Dorene and was happy to see her and eat with her. We talked horses and all sorts of other things.
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I do have a good handle on laundry these days, because I got rid of my mesh laundry sorters (I have always hated those stupid things, they fall apart and don't hold enough for this family) and replaced them with white hampers. I saw that they now make "sorting hampers" but they are only $1 less than a regular hamper, and they are much smaller, too small for us. So a couple of weeks ago I bought EIGHT hampers, all rectangular, and labeled each one (sharpie marker on colored index cards, adhered with clear packing tape) and they are working AWESOME. They work great for sorting, and when the load is clean, I can carry it up in it's designated sorting hamper, fold it, and put it away. Of course as I say this I have a hamper of diapers to sort and fold, a hamper of towels and rags to fold, and two baskets of kid clothes to put away. But I do have a good handle on laundry these days. :)
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There are also jobs that are considered "household" jobs, and you get one of each of those chips, so that the jobs can be assigned and rotated between siblings as necessary. Things like getting the mail, taking out the trash, recycling, taking care of pets, shaking rugs, setting the table, etc.
Then there are "A B and C" chips. A is for Attitude. B is for Behavior. C is fo Communication. There are Red "NO" chips that are circles with a slash through them, and then there are green "Good" chips. I can use these chips to show how their ABC's have been throughout the day.
Now, let me start by saying that I haven't read the manual yet. Typical me. Start the process however I damn well feel like it. Basically I haven't had the moment's peace to sit down and read it. It's in my "to read" stack. (ugh.) So there are many ways to approach this, some probably better than mine.
For us, I use it to show Ardyn that there are things we are expected to do on a daily basis, WITHOUT ARGUING and WHINING. It's working. She does not cry when I brush her hair. Because she knows that it has to be done. It's routine. The chip is on the board. I had been trying to discuss this with her for MONTHS and it never got through to her that you just have to brush your hair every day. When the board went up.... it was instant. She has learned and added lots of new chores. She sets the table. She picks up her toys. She puts her own shoes away and hangs her coat on the hook designated with her initial. She makes her bed. She puts all her dirty clothes in the hamper. Many of these things happen without prompting. Putting dirty clothes in the hamper and putting shoes in her closet shoe-holder are becoming natural to her, and she automatically does them, most of the time without even being asked or reminded. Sometimes she reminds ME!
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Now, about the ABC's. Basically if she gets into behavior that starts to head towards a time out, we warn with "do you want a red X?" and she does NOT want one on her pegboard. If she gets a time out, she gets a red X first, in the appropriate ABC category, and then she sits in time out. When she is done with time out, she is very very upset and generally wants to "get that red X off the board" as soon as possible. This is where the "choose a chore" jar comes into play. She picks a chore disk from the jar, and we hang it next to the Red X. (it's not really an X, but that's what we call it.) If the chore can be completed immediately, she usually does. If not, we leave it up there with the Red X until the chore is completed. When the chore is done, we replace the red X with a green circle to show that she has corrected her bad behavior with a chore. These are "additional chores" and she has recently done chores like "disinfect all the doorknobs" and "clean the fronts and tops of the washer and dryer." Another one that was my favorite was "check and fill all hand soap dispensers" which came at just the right time as ours were all empty! She of course feels very important and enjoys it. You should have seen the grin on her face while we filled the soap pumps and she returned them to their designated sink spots. Thrilled. (and mom was thrilled too!)
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It helps me to instill responsibility in her. It helps her to realize that she has things that she needs to do in order to be a part of this family and help things run smoothly at home. And it really does take a load off me when I don't have to run around gathering up shoes and coats and toys all day long. She is a big help.
The pick a privlege jar is important, and I feel badly that we haven't used it enough yet. It's got things like "go for ice cream" or "watch a movie" or "paint or color" or "get out the playdoh." These are things that we might do now and then, and it's easy to use them as rewards because she enjoys them so much. There are things like "go for a walk" or "ride your bike" and these are all things she loves to do.
So, the Family Tools system is pretty cool. :) I am loving it. Ardyn calls it the "Keep Mommy Happy Game." And I NEVER said that to her. That's entirely her name for it. LOL.
That's all for now friends. I am sore from all that lifting and squatting and mixing of dirt yesterday. Oy. Off to get a few things done today I guess!
1 comment:
I use the pegs system with kayla ( she has autisim) and I absolutely love it, she can't verbally express what she wants most of the time and I always found myself guessing by her facial expressions wich is no easy feat! now I just give her the board and she shows me exactly waht she wants or is trying to comunicate to me, I got my family members to try it out with their kids and it wasa big hit, its awesome!!
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