My Biopsy Results are Back. And Stuff.

So, this has been a really crazy month so far! Just late this afternoon I finally got the biopsy results back from my EGD and Scope. I learned a few things. Firstly, I did have the whole striation thing going on in my esophogus, and it was stretched.... but also, I have a hiatal hernia. What's that you say? Well, googled of course, it means
A hiatal hernia is an anatomical abnormality in which part of the stomach protrudes through the diaphragm and up into the chest.

Normally, the esophagus or food tube passes down through the chest, crosses the diaphragm, and enters the abdomen through a hole in the diaphragm called the esophageal hiatus. Just below the diaphragm, the esophagus joins the stomach. In individuals with hiatal hernias, the opening of the esophageal hiatus (hiatal opening) is larger than normal, and a portion of the upper stomach slips up or passes (herniates) through the hiatus and into the chest.

Fun, no? This explains the up high pain that I was having which was mistaken for gallbladder, and also the burping that I couldn't stop during an attack, which tasted as though something dead were living in my stomach, although it tasted worse than anything I had ever ever ever eaten in my entire life. Aha! So at this point the nurse tells me that there is no surgery or anything to correct this (which I google to discover that she is wrong) and that I can take antacids OTC and perhaps doctor will give me prescription PPI's or other alternatives when i see him at the end of September. And of course I research online (I love you google!) and find some alternative therapies that are working for people, like the HOPE Diet (which, ironically, until these attacks, I had been following 1/2 of already) and others have been taking Slippery Elm with fantastic results.

Interesting.

The lower scope revealed the scarred and inflamed tissues, and the biopsies revealed no IBD (Crohn's or Colitis) but the inflammation and irritation are there just the same, and so the nurse (who we have already determined does not have a fabulous track record) told me that I should add more fiber to my diet and keep my appointment with the Doctor. Bowel irritation but no bowel disease- So, time will tell! Not sure what's causing the lower inflammation, it doesn't seem like it could be a result of the upper acid, but could it be a result of any off these gallstones that I have collected? Interesting.

Drugs are awesome (legal ones)

Well, I lived through the double scope. It was seriously a breeze. The girls in the endoscopy unit took amazing care of me, and explained everything thoroughly. Dr. Kim is awesome. He has an awesome bedside manner and experience and education and he is running on time and efficient. It was actually a great experience. I was very surprised that I was barely nervous, even when the procedure was delayed for almost an hour because I didn't have enough fluid in me to pee for a pregnancy test (which is required) so they had to draw blood, which then took forever to get results back, and so I was IN the endoscopy suite ready to go under at 9am, right on schedule, but they did three other patients next door ahead of me because the lab results were not in yet. But I was back in my room by 11am and heading home at 11:30, although they wanted to let me go sooner I was in no hurry. They gave me the numbing spray and then two injections via my IV. Mary said "You're head will spin a bit" and then she said "anything?" and I said No. Then Dr. Kim said "anything?" and I said No. Next thing I know I woke up in recovery as they were wheeling me back to my room. Seriously. That was it.

I did listen to Dr talking to me after the procedure but I then couldn't remember anything he said. I think that in the afternoon I made Evan repeat it to me like 5 times, but each time I tried to remember it, I couldn't even remember what he told me.

Craig called me that evening to ask me a question about his new iPhone and I couldn't even think straight to answer him. LOL.

So overall it was good!

I intended to write more tonight, but am already finding myself tired. So maybe more this weekend ;)

Anyone want trade places, just for this week? Thursday looks good for me.

I've been trying to get to the blog for SO long now. I have several reviews that I need to get written, and I feel badly that I am a bit behind on them... but am looking on the bright side that they will be thorough reviews with products that I have really tested on a long term basis (positive spin... see how that works?) I really hate that now I have to go back and read my own blog to remind myself what I have already talked about. But tonight I am NOT going to do that. Sorry. Just not. It's my blog, you know how I operate.

This week is going to be SO busy that I am trying not to panic. I tell myself that God won't give me more than I can handle, but it's not what he gives me that worries me... It's the things that I can't help but volunteer for ;) Basically I love to volunteer, but if you see me coming this week, and you are a friend, do me a big favor and stop me. Just tell me to take a deep breath, reconsider, and really, don't take anything but NO for an answer from me. I just can not do one more thing without doing permanent brain injury this week.

The week has of course already gone off with a big bang, considering that today was Labor Day. And yes, three glorious Labor Days ago, I spent 15.5 hours in labor with Ardyn. *sigh* where does the time go? I would love to write a whole post about just that, and another entire post about just her Birthday dinner (we haven't even GOTTEN to the party yet!) but I haven't even uploaded the pictures from the camera, and I just can't fathom blogging without checking the pics and adding some for you to see. It's how I roll.

Tuesday is the big MOPS kickoff meeting, and most of you know by now that I am head-over-heels in LOVE with MOPS. I adore it. This year I really wanted to be an even bigger part, and help spread the word and the love to other moms because we can ALL use this support network. It has changed so much about my life and the way my children are raised and are able to interact with others. Without MOPS, Ardyn would not be in preschool this year. I would not have known that she COULD be in preschool (stupid public school cutoff dates!) and I really wouldn't have known much at all about the preschool that we chose for her. She wouldn't be starting dance. And I wouldn't have half of the sanity that I still seem to be clinging to.

So as part of the big MOPS kick-off, because I am now a Steering Team Member... I had lots of responsibility. We all did and do, but this year my position is a "new"one to our chapter... Discussion Group Coordinator. We have never had discussion groups in our chapter before, so this is very exciting, and really badly needed... but also will be a welcome challenge as we forge a path that we don't have set for us. So I have been working on centerpieces, names for our discussion groups, themes for each group, some creative/crafty stuff to go along with them... and also several forms and mailings that will go with the new group format. Also updating the website to get everything ready for this new season!

Tomorrow we have to be at the church EARLY in order to get things setup, and I still have copies to make and things to laminate.... all before tomorrow night's meeting. Also, did I mention that we have our contractor arriving TOMORROW to setup his gear and schedule delivery of our roofing supplies? And that is super exciting but in addition to starting the roof, they will also be starting (at the same time) the front porch. Yes. Front Porch. Home of my crap. Nothing says "welcome to my house" like a front porch sewing room and "scrap-crap" all over a temporary table. Be prepared to trip over cords and weave around containers. Seriously. But since I am finishing the MOPS meeting stuff, the table can be put away. Which had to happen tonight in case they need to get inside tomorrow. And it's 11pm and I haven't moved the Wicker furniture outside. Or stuffed the centerpieces yet. And yes, I know I shouldn't be blogging, but I can't HELP it. I should NEVER be blogging but I need this release. It's like a memory-dump for me.

So this week the contractor starts the roofing, and the tearing out of the front porch windows and door, and I have to have one side of the porch cleared before Wednesday and likely cover the sewing crap on the other side so that it can be moved to the "finished" side and they can work on the "other" side. When this is all done, I have this grand master plan to move all of the sewing stuff to the opposite end of the porch and get more light, as well as more room, and also a perfect view of the front yard from the sewing table so that I can watch the kids play outside and work at the same time.

Oh and then there is that pesky little thing about Ardyn going to school twice a week, and Ardyn also starts dance this week! I am super excited about dance, but there is just ONE teeeeeny tiny hitch.... the same day that Ardyn starts dance? I have my first colonoscopy and EGD (upper scope.) Yay me! If you've been reading (have I talked about this on blog or just facebook?) I have had these horrible attacks that at first we thought were gallbladder, but two ER visits, a fabulous one-night and two-day stay in the hospital, and bloodwork, Gallbladder Ultrasound, HIDA (nuclear medicine) scan, and a Abdominal CT with contrast later.... they think I have Crohn's or IBS. The specialist is leaning towards Crohn's wholeheartedly. And I have had a few attacks since being out of the hospital, the latest being about 24 hours long in which I thought I might alternately die, poop myself to death, or belch up an intestine. Yep. Good times. And this attack lasted 24 hours WITH double doses of Pepcid around the clock, a single dose of Prilosec (I was desperate) about 10 thousand TUMS, and a prescription Opiate painkiller. Yep. Still painful. That's the kind of pain we are talking. WTF.

So this Wednesday, I get to start my day by taking Ardyn to school. Then I get to take both kids and all their gear to my mom's, then I get to return home to a house full of contractors, and then I get to commence my first meal of the day, which will consist of.... wait for it.... ONE GALLON of liquid laxative. Yep. That's right. Those of you who have never had a colonoscopy.... don't be shy. Read alllllll about it. ONE Gallon of liquid laxative. No meals. limited liquid diet. You know what the GE's office staff said "You probably shouldn't make any plans that day." Um, ya think? Are there people who think they are going to drink a gallon of laxative and still make plans? Oh my. So they actually also told me that "we have several patients who say it's better to just take the gallon into the bathroom and drink it there." Yep. Can't wait. Did I mention I've decided I can't be responsible for my kids that day? And that I told my husband that he will wait on my hand and foot, even if that means replenishing toilet paper? I am so not going through this alone. Someday he will have to do this. I vow that he will. And then, after drinking half of my gallon of laxative, I get to drift off into a peaceful sleep. And then wake up at 4am to start drinking the other half, which I must have drank before my morning appointment, and when I am FINALLY done with that gallon, I get to take not ONE, but TWO ducolax prescription laxative pills. Yep. Because I am sure there will still be some scary poo hiding in there somewhere. After 24 hours of no food and a gallon of laxative. Surely. I mean, these doctor's are SPECIALISTS. This is what they do for a living. Don't tell me that they don't see some poo here and there? But I have to top it all off with laxative tablets. Not one. Two. (okay, ending my rant)

So. Let's see how my week is shaping up.
1. Setup for MOPS kickoff meeting, finalize papers and decorations, make copies, etc.
2. Clean off half of front porch and stuff crap in an unnoticeable corner.
3. MOPS Kickoff meeting
4. Sleep
5. Take Ardyn to school
6. Come Home and pack kids things for two days with Grandma and Auntie.
6a. House inundated with construction work. Marek screaming and biting my legs whilst cleverly unpacking everything I pack.
7. Pick up Ardyn from school
8. Take kids and their Krap to Grandma's
9. Come home to half-a-front porch and start drinking my laxative
10. Poo a l0t, hope bathroom exhaust fan doesn't transfer smell to roofers and knock them off the house.
11. try to sleep.
12. Poo some more.
13. try to sleep.
14. Angrily wake-up before the sun
15. Drink More Laxative
16. Poooooooo
17. Take two ducolax
18. Poooooooo to the noise of construction starting all over again.
19. Head to hospital and hope I don't poop my pants on the way there.
20. Register.
21. Get put into hospital gown and under anesthesia.
22. Swallow Scope.
23. Hope I don't know what happens when they "turn the bed around" (the nurse's exact words)
24. Recover
25. Dress
26. Get Driven Home
27. Get Waited on Hand and Foot
28. Hope that I want to eat again sometime
29. Somehow get the children home and take Ardyn to her first dance class.
30. Start thinking about when to have poor child's birthday party that I have halfway finished.
30a-30e. Finish Pinata. Finish Invitations. Finish Decorations. Mail Invitations. Bake and Decorate Cupcakes.

So, anyone want to trade weeks with me?

Remember that I said don't let me volunteer for anything. I mean that. Can I make myself clearer?

Goodnight!