Heater Whore and the Rusty Pickle

Today, is an okay day.

But let us start with last night. I did nothing. I watched a movie on cable (Autumn in New York with Winona Ryder and Richard Gere) while I messed around a bit on the laptop. Husband brought me home Subway. Yum. Then I took a bath that lasted so long that the water was hurting my skin. Between the bathtub and in bed until 2:30am, I read a hefty 2/3 of my book "The Tenth Circle" By Jodi Picoult. Now I have read one of her other books, and it was good but I wasn't overly impressed. But this book is AWESOME good. I had to take it to work today so I could read while I ate my stuffed pizza for lunch. I can't tear myself away. It's pretty good. Husband was intrigued when he saw me reading the comic book sequences. Of course I lvoed the references to Jim Lee and Marvel/DC Comics. The book itself is just a great story, and it's well told. Of course, at exactly the halfway point, I had a pretty good handle on the "secret" piece, but I haven't gotten to the end to actually see what happened for sure. I can't give you ANY details without giving away the book. But it is GOOD and I suggest it to anyone.

Tonight I had a Rusty Pickle Class after work (oh I can already see your eyebrows rise, and guys are probably pitching a tent over me saying pickle.) but for those of you who DON'T know, Rusty Pickle is a scrapbook company- and I made this Christmas Album. Although sister and I did purchase a book at the Girl's Night Out Party called "tickle his pickle" and we are both going to read it, so if that doesn't get your mind wandering, nothing will.


Last night I also did the "What's In My Bag" thing for the flickr group... and then upgraded to a bigger purse. But what I really wanted to do was sew a purse organizer, but I was so in depth with the book that at 2:30am I had to make myself put it down and sleep.

I got two of my shirts off ebay, they are kinda smallish. The "Meet the Twins" shirt is the same brand as the "Pirate Love" shirt but it's a size bigger according to the tag, but it fits smaller. WTF? So I dunno. Might end up reselling them. I have had bad luck lately, even with using measurements. I got a dress that was too big, and shirts that were too small. I got pants that look black with white pinstripes in the pictures and ended up being kinda multi-colored pinstripes. Strange. I am hoping my luck changes. Of course I just got outbid on my outrageously low Palm treo 650, which I knew would happen. Too good to be true.

Today I mailed bills. Power, Cable & Internet, Cell Phones, etc.CB gave me a little belated birthday gift, the book "Pirates" By John Matthews. I had seen this book at Shop-ko in October and coveted it terribly. But it's just one of those things you don't buy for yourself, so it was the perfect gift. And I was surprised to get it, which made it even nicer. Last night I decorated my little pink tree at work. It's sparkly pink (the tree itself) with pink class balls and pink christmas lights on pink wires. And I have more ornaments at home that I need to remember to bring to work. AND I need to put the lights and ornaments on the tree at home. Ugh. Maybe tomorrow night. I am just SO not in the spirit. I think not putting up decorations last year made me lazy.

Today was such a gloomy looking day. It rained some. It was just overcast, although it wasn't cool outside, it was cool INSIDE at at work all day I just wanted a blanket or sweater or heater to curl up with. Yes, I curl up to heaters. My husband is always laughing because if he can't find me, I am sitting on the floor somewhere about 1 foot in front of a space heater or next to a register. When I used to babysit I would make a blanket tent over the registers and sit under it with the kids while we watched a movie or read a book. I think it probably drives husband nuts that I always want to cuddle. Usually it's a one sided cuddle. He plays a video game or holds the remote while I try to carve a place into his side where I can squeeze myself and keep warm. When all else fails, I love to cuddle with Boyd. He's a "hot" dog. Like a personal heater to curl up with.P.S. UPDATE-- I did finish my book tonight, and it was good. I knew "Who Dunnit" but the ending, although good, also kinda pissed me off because it was that open ended bullshit where you really don't know what happens at all. That sucks. But the book was good. It just lacked closure, which pisses me off. I need closure. Unless Johnny Depp or Edward Cullen is involved and there is a sequel, there had damn well better be closure!

Bureau County Paparazzi Strikes Again

Even more so since I got my new camera, I have fully become the Bureau County Paparazzi. You can always find me taking pictures. Today on my way to work I drove past the home of Lori's boss. First of all, let me say it was all I could do to not stop. But then I called Lori's sister CB (who I work with) and said OH MY GOD you have to see the Pirate and the AWESOME Pirate Flag at Lori's Boss's House! She said "you want it, don't you!" and I was like "well yeah, but more importantly I want to take a picture of it." She's like go back, they won't care. And I was worried that they would see me parked in their driveway and traipsing across their front yard with a camera and be upset. CB said go for it. So I whipped a shitty and went back. Is this not THE coolest Pirate Flag you have ever seen in your entire life? WHERE did they get this?! Not to mention the Pirate himself. WOW! So, for your viewing pleasure....And it was also all I could do to not take a picture of the lifesized Blues Brothers Statues that they always have on their upstairs "porch" - who are now wearing halloween masks and joined by an AWESOME lifesized Frankenstein. Okay, maybe I will have to go back and take pics of that too.... LOL!

Property of Captain Jack!

Can it be Sunday already? At least I gained an hour. Last night was the Dawg House Halloween Party. I have Lotsa Pictures on Flickr. My favorite costume was Raymond as Flava Flave. You just have to see the pictures. Husband did an awesome job drawing my tattoo on... lots of people thought it was real and "didn't know I had it" and most other people had NO Idea that Jack Sparrow had that tattoo, or that Johnny Depp really DOES have that tattoo in real life now, with Jack under it for his son Jack. I wanted to add "property of Cap'n Jack" to it but I didn't want it to be too busy and gaudy.

Today I need to clean up around home, set the clocks back, do the laundry, run the dishwasher, vacuum, feed the dogs, and carve my pumpkin. Then I need to go change the tapes at work and go to Wal-Mart and buy candy for Halloween Trick-or-Treaters. Plenty to do. Tomorrow I have class again. Keeping this short and sweet, check out the pictures when you have a moment.

Check out my Booty!

Oh another reason why I am jolly today, the ordering of my newest shoes. I can wear them with my pirate wench costume, and then, Beyond! I can not wait! Stripey socks, pirate hat, and now, Jolly Roger Mary Janes!

Don't Piss off a Pirate!

Wearing: SeXy Red Babydoll shirt with a Ruched Bust and 3/4 sleeves, black dress pants, black heeled loafers, red beaded earrings, black and red headband.
Watching: The New Adventures of Old Christine

Today was a hard day. I worked hard. I crawled around on the floor, under desks, moving PC's. I moved 8 computers complete with all accessories, and one laser printer. Whew. Tired.

Tonight Evan and I cleared of two tables in my sewing room and took the legs off. Then we carried them to the garage so that someone could pick them up tomorrow morning. Selling them back to the "employer" that I bought them from. Long story. Translates into a lot of work on our end.

Last night I watched the newest episode of Men in Trees, and then Desperate Housewives. I have to tell you, that I am more excited and entertained by Men in Trees than I am by Desperate Housewives these days. I love Men in Trees. And when Jack fought his own brother over Marin, I was like "yes!"

It rained today, which I was actually quite okay with. It was kind of fitting. This weekend Evan and I are going to carve pumpkins over at mom's and order pizza for supper. Mom bought me Pirates of the Carribbean pumpkin carving patterns. There is a Captain Jack pattern and also a pirate ship. I can not wait. She almost bought me a big jolly roger pirate flad to fly out front on Halloween, to go with my costume. I think I forgot to mention that my costume arrived, and it was too small (too short, I am tall and my ass hung out {literally}) and the dagger was broken in half. So I tried to contact the eBay seller, and of course, they ignored me.

First time I have ever had a problem buying on eBay, and it wasn't really a huge one. But I am out $45.00 (not counting shipping, which you eat) and I did open a paypal dispute. The seller responded to paypal (even though they ignored two emails from me) by saying that I might have broken the dagger myself and that they had other people satisfied with the item. And of course I didn't pay for insurance, but I have learned from experience that filing an insurance claim with the US Postal Service is worse than filing your taxes, and you almost never get through it. So I only buy insurance on expensive items, like a computer. And why would I purchase insurance on a costume, that isn't breakable. The dagger cost like $1 at a dollar store (it was really cheap) so I wouldn't even begin to go through a paypal claim AND pay return shipping on a costume that I need, if I broke a dollar store dagger?

So now I wait for Paypal to make their decision. Today when I went to the seller's feedback, I see that they *suddenly* have 3 "neutral" feedbacks all added to their account today. And the way the seller responds to the feedback, NOT GOOD. The seller turns around and slanders the buyer on their own profile, and leaving slanderous feedback for another ebay member as a way to get back at them for their feedback is a big ebay no no. Not to mention petty and ridiculous. One of the neutral feedbacks they received said "Item too small and short to wear" and I was like BAM! Aha! So I am not the only one. And I hope that the paypal mediator sees that.

So I did get another costume ordered, the one that I wanted to order in the beginning but obviously screwed up and ordered one that I was skeptical about. So, now I wait for the second costume to arrive. And my pirate hat and stripey socks sit calmly and wait for the rest. And of course since I bought my costume back at the end of August, I have found two more people in Wyanet who are going to be Pirate Wench's, and it makes me cranky.

Keep your fingers crossed that this pirate costume arrives swiftly and fits perfectly!

Swap-Riffic

Wearing: Black pants with white pinstripes, teal button down shirt, black loafers, socks with dogs and fall leaves.
Listening: Silence. Ahhhh.
Link of the Day: http://www.cabbagepatchkids.com It's the coolest, tour Babyland General Hospital, see the Cabbage Patch Timeline, and special edition as well as original all-fabric cabbage patch kids.

Me Pirate gear arrived today. A feathery lacey hat with a plume feather fit for a pirate queen, 2 pair of stripey socks, and the book Pirattitude by Cap'n Slappy and Ol' Chumbucket. Oh and I also got my adorable gifty gift from the "sew my name" swap, which I haven't even STARTED yet... and I need to do this weekend along with wrapping up my "fall swap" and finishing ATC's for 3 swaps that I am behind on. (bad bad swapper!) Also arriving today were the converse that perfectly match my own, only smaller. They are so freaking adorable!

I got to start my day with a pap exam, which is fabulous of course. Then I ate a turkey wrap, an apple Evan picked at his parents' farm, and a bottle of water. All is right in the world.

So this Saturday I have a Stampin Up Workshop to attend, and a surprise party with a live band for a certain someone who will remain un-named. I can't WAIT! Then Sunday I got invited to do some fun things but I really really can't because I have to do laundry and I have to finish the ATC's, the Sew my name swap, and Apparently with the acquired large box of apples I might be making apple crisp. It also occurred to me that I need to clean the office as I have been putting it off for exactly 6 weeks and I can't put it off anymore and expect to have room to start me "All About Him" scrapbook Album that arrived last Friday (QVC Auto-shipment) and finish the ATC's. It also occurred to me that I have all the paint and glue and the kit for my new dollhouse but I haven't even started. So really I would be happy with a weekend at home. The month of September has been extremely busy. I can't wait for October. It will be great to have nothing planned, even if for one full weekend I can just do whatever I want instead of running from place to place.

And you know... my pirate COSTUME itself hasn't arrived yet. I am worried it won't fit and I will have to buy another one. Ugh. HURRY UP COSTUME PEEPS! Send it!

Prepare to Be Boarded!

Listening:
Rage Against The Machine- Down Rodeo
Mindless Self Indulgence- Straight to Video
Beastie Boys- Rhymin' and Stealin'
Wearing: Cargo Khakis, Brown V Neck T-shirt, American Eagle Shoes, Fake Ponytail, no makeup
Link of the Day: http://www.dresslikeapirate.com/

Last night you can see I obviously accomplished watching Wife Swap. AND husband had made chili to go with my beer bread, and we feasted and watched the season opener for "How I Met Your Mother." The toilet broke and husband had to get a new piece and fix it so it would flush. Then I balanced checkbooks and paid bills while he prepped ham and potato soup that we will have tonight for supper. Yum! The ham and potatoes were in the crock pot all night and this morning the house smelled wonderful. Today he will add the soup and it will be delicious!

So a few things off my list. Still haven't made those pesky ATC's or the pumpkin pie. One day at a time folks! I didn't get the bills paid and everything balanced until about 1:30am. Then I fell fast asleep.

Today, I suppose I am in an okay mood. I slept in and instead of getting ready for work as usual I just threw on clothes and my fake ponytail and didn't put on any make-up. Usually when I don't wear make-up, people steer clear of me. I have blonde eyelashes, so without mascara, they always think I am "tired" or "sick" and it cracks me up.

Today I wish I had a cool job like when I used to work at grain elevators. Somewhere that there isn't a "dress code" and where you wouldn't get fired for donning a little pirate garb and answering the phone like a pirate. A place where your customers would actually get into it and appreciate your enthusiasm and some entertainment.

I hate dress codes. HATE. THEM. We even have a dresscode for casual Friday's at my workplace. AND you have to PAY to participate in Casual Friday. Yeah.

Well, it's breezy and overcast today, and I got to wear my new coat (yeah!) and I enjoyed every second of it. Except my coat has this really cool feature that is kinda strange. It zips up the front, but then it has these magnetic strips inside the flap that goes over the zipper. They just magnetize themselves so you don't have to button them. But this morning coming into work, I had unzipped my coat, and when I walked through the door to the office (the frames are metal/steel whatever) My coat sucked me to the door frame. LOL. I cracked up. So I had to de-magnetize myself. I have always known that I have a magnetic personality. LOL.

Today I ordered my ladies pirate hat and some stripedy knee socks from the website of the day. I may have also ordered a copy of Cap'n Slappy and Ol Chumbucket's Pirattitude... Also got the idea (instead of paying $22) to make a keyring for the skeleton keys that work all the inside doors for our house, in case on halloween (or just whenever I feel like dressing like a pirate) I can threaten to lock someone in the gallows.

Well, that's all the joy I can spread for right now. Have a fabulous day!

Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

8. Come on up and see me urchins.

7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.

5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?

4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.

2. Well blow me down?

And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …

1. Prepare to be boarded.

"The Plastic Exterior is All I Saw"

Wow. I really loved Wife Swap. I have so much to say!

As usual, I can identify with both sides. I love to organize and label. But my house really isn't nearly as organized as Lisa Fine's house. I try to keep my sanity and know where things are. I try to create a place for everything, but the worst thing is that I can't keep everything in it's place. :)

As far as Tori's life, I am not the cleanest person. I have dirty dishes on the counter and in the sink. You will probably find dirty socks on the floor. The bed isn't always made and there is dog hair in the corners. That's life.

Probably the first thing that I noticed about Lisa? Her comments about appearance and about society and "judging a book by it's cover." She said "Society Does Judge Books By Their Covers." Was probably a true statement. But the first thing I thought when viewing the "talk like a pirate" website and you tube videos? That Ol Chumbucket was an attractive man that had a certain charisma and charm. I immediately thought that Mad Sally was a lucky wife. But later on in the show, Lisa makes him shave his head and cut off his beard so that he will "look like everyone else" (her exact words) and she justifies it by telling John "This is the real world. We don't get to make the rules, we just have to play by the rules." That disturbed me. You raise your children by telling them that they have to play by the rules? Whose rules? Wow. Whatever happened to thinking for yourself? I felt terrible for John. She made him wear suit and TAN. She made him go to work as a "filer" when he clearly explained to Lisa that he worked a 9 to 5 job for years and that there was more satisfaction from doing something that he loved. She treated him as though he had never been a responsible adult and as though he had never had a job. He made the comment "John has been erased."

I also noticed that the first thing Lisa's daughter said to Tori (Mad Sally) was that she was pretty. Instantly I thought that was a suck-up technique, but Tori noticed it as "judging her by her appearance" which I guess was true. And then later Lisa's daughter got angry and said that Tori smelled and insisted that Tori wash all her clothes (those that she had brought with her.)

I thought it was also interesting how Tori scoffed at their typical "my daughter's a cheerleader" comment made in Lisa's letter. I can't imagine that when you introduce or describe your child, you describe her as a "cheerleader." She's a 13 year old girl. Wouldn't you say "She's a loving, smiling, intelligent daughter." or perhaps list her qualities, and not label her as a cheerleader? That poor little girl. It amazed me as she proceeded to completely break down when told she couldn't do cheerleading for a week, and when she cried and said "I will do my laundry, I will wear Pink, and I will cheer." and then again when she cried because she wasn't able to function without her Make-up. I am sorry, but as a 13 year old I was NOT allowed to wear makeup, and certainly not everyday. Not to mention crying over it? It seemed so insane to me!

And Tori hit it on the head when she said that Lisa was teaching her daughter to be perfect at all times, and that "perfect is unattainable." And how about her daughter's comment that she has to spend all the time "picking out the perfect outfit" each morning and that she has to be perfect, or "I might have no friends and be a loner like (Tori)" Wow. True friends don't care if you are perfect. And not all 13 year old's get that, but wouldn't you, as a mom, make it a priority to let your daughter know that being herself, even if she isn't perfect, is more important than being fake?

I also got a kick out of the Fine family's "proper way to fold clothes" and Mad Sally's comment "Why would you spend all that time folding clothes that you aren't even keeping?" Um. Yeah. And their answer "That's just how it's done."

I really was very turned-off by Lisa's husband. He made CONSTANT rude comments to Tori. "Sally Constantly Questions Me." He found it annoying to be challenged or questioned. Wow. (we all know a woman shouldn't have her own thoughts or ideas.) He also said (about Sally's Rules) "That's really intelligent (sarcastically.)" and "You are ridiculous." Then later "A pirate as a role model is ridiculous." And then Lisa's daughter saying "Pirates have mental issues." LOL.

Over at the pirate ship, I thought that the family was actually fairly reasonable. Of course they could use some organization. Like so Max knows where his pajamas are. The kids could use some rules. The fleas could go. But those things aren't the end of the world. I love that their kids are encouraged to be creative and themselves. I love that they don't put labels on everything (I mean figuratively, although I guess in this case it applies literally too!) The feminist in me was a little disturbed when Lisa told the daughter "How are you going to take care of a family" as though her entire existence and growing up was only to culture her to be a wife and mother. I also noticed that when discussing her own daughter earlier in the show, she said that she would "make someone a wonderful wife." ugh.

I really think that John and Sally are both very well versed people. My favorite part of the show? Just after she forced John to get his hair cut, shave off his beard, tan, wear a suit, and go to a "real job" -- Lisa was complaining about clutter and disorganization and dirt. John said "So Let's Deal with the Clutter! But stop trying to make me your husband. Stop trying to make us YOU! You are SO worried about appearances that you forget what's inside!" True. So so True.
I liked how the pirate kids made comments like "I am not fucking Suzy Homemaker" and "It feels so weird to be putting my life into categories (when organizing and sorting into totes)"

Sally was right when she said to Lisa "your kids are afraid to make a mess in the house because of you. They are trying to live up to your expectations." And I did enjoy it when she said that everything was rigid and that "the plastic exterior is all I saw." I did notice that Lisa's kids REALLY enjoyed building the pirate ship and doing the play. It was like they were laughing and being creative. It was great.

But at the end, after Lisa got home, I heard Craig say to the kids "Put those in alphabetical order" and I about died. LOL.

What a show. I know that they cut out full conversations to make it seem so dramatic and that some comments out of context can mean completely different things. But it was a great show.

So, did you watch it? What did you think?

Is that your sword... or are you just happy to see me?

So I ordered my Halloween Costume (from eBay). In light of the last post, I assume that you aren't surprised to see that I will be a pirate. So give up the Rum and Booty. My biggest problem? If the costume doesn't fit or look okay I will have to sell it and pick out another one. BUT I hope that it fits. My sister and I usually costume up each year and hand out halloween candy. Although this costume might be a little risque. Last time we did that together was two years ago, I was a gypsy and she was a dirt bike racer. Before that, she was a french maid and I was a witch. The good thing is that she is the size (or a little smaller) than I used to be, so she can wear all my old costumes.

So I have been trying to find a good Tri-Hat. I have a few in mind, and the REALLY cool ones are like $75.00! So unless I intend to be a pirate several times a year, I would have to get a cheaper, probably felt or "leather look" tri-hat. But first, I must see if the costume fits. I am most excited to wear the eye patch. And have the dagger. Hopefully the Dawg House (bar in Wyanet) has a costume party, this Saturday they are having 80's night. I don't know if I can go, but if I do, I need some serious help because I didn't keep any 80's stuff. No banana clips, no leg warmers, no acid wash jeans, no jelly sandals, no geometric print button down shirts or long necklaces tied in knots. Mom said that she threw out banana clips AND two or our crimping irons last week. Bummer! LOL.

So another goal of the weekend is to finish some ATC's that I am behind on. I have 3 "Something Sparkly" and 3 "Woman Theme" and then the "Back to the Future" themed ones to complete. I mailed my Halloween Stamped Images swap. I just started a swap with a woman from Germany, I am very excited about. We have decided to do ours with a fall theme, kind of earthy and rustic colors. Our self-set deadline is October 15th.. and I can't wait to start looking for swap items! Yeah! I am at my best when I am swapping!

Well, you all have a great weekend. Relax and enjoy the weather!

Grab the Cannon by the Balls, Savvy?

If you know me, you know I like Pirates. And of course the Pirates of the Caribbean with dashing figures such as will turner and jack sparrow (haven't I always loved johnny? oh yessss I have!) just makes me all the more pleased. For a few years I have followed International Talk like a Pirate Day. They are my Flickr friends. And everyone knows Flickr is SO Much cooler than MySpace...

And today, I am thrilled to share with you...

On an upcoming episode of Wife Swap, Mad Sally (wenchy wife to the International Talk Like a Pirate Day Co-Founder Ol' Chumbucket Baur) is swapped with what she describes as a "a rigidly ordered, controlled and controlling family who, I swear on Great Neptune's man nipples, actually lives by the credo, "appearance is everything." They actually said, "You judge a book by its cover." The episode airs on September 18th, Fittingly, the day before September 19th, wich IS International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

I fully intend to NOT miss that episode. September 18th. Mark your calendar or ye shall walk the plank fer shor. I'll be back and we will blog about Mad Sally's experience, here on this very page, on September 19th, International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

I want you to know that I am, as I am typing, rapping along to Beastie Boys' Rhymin' and Stealin' because I know every word, I love the Beastie Boys, and it's the perfect piratey good song. Check our Mad Sally's account of her experience on wife swap. If she's mad, she is a Madly Literate and well versed lady. And a Great writer. She should blog on the International Talk Like A Pirate Day Website, if you want my opinion.

Or, if you really want to get prepared, Watch the videos so that you know just how to act and talk like a pirate on September 19th (or if you are me, any other time the feeling might strike ya.) Have you gave any thought as to how you might answer the phone at work that day? Or what about other questions? Well, you can just Ask Capn' Slappy. Got Kids? Well, we should ALL know how to sing the Pirate Song.... your kids will LOVE you for this! Or why not teach them how to Swagger? It's all about pirattiude. And whatever you do, don't forget the Five A's.