Mindful Prayer Everyday

Oh, of all the things I should be doing, and need to accomplish, I decided to blog. I am hoping that the guilt will not overwhelm me and force my brain to stop in mid-blog mode. To be honest.... my brain was in full blog mode today. No kids, lots of interesting and inspiring and thought invoking conversation. Quiet. Did I mention no kids? But then I had dinner with them tonight and all that blog brain disappeared. It disappeared so much that I was disappointed. I was really hoping to write something meaningful tonight. Something like I wrote before these little hooligans sucked my brains out.

Last night it started snowing. And it kept snowing. And although most of you probably already know this, I am going to repeat it just for the sake of documentation. Because I want to someday have my children be able to read this and know that it was fantastically important to me.

We ate supper together and the kids and Evan and I were in the living room watching Polar Express. The kids were on the couch with Evan and I was crocheting myself a hat in my rocking chair. Marek was climbing the back of the couch and looking out the window and saying "snow! snow!" for the first time. I looked at Evan, and said "You know what would be really fun, going outside to play right now! (actually I think I spelled some of it, because I didn't want to get the kids' hopes up until I knew he was game.) He looked perplexed, and we discussed it further and mentioned that instead of putting them to bed at 10pm, we should put them in their pajamas (long johns) and then into their snow clothes and take them out and pull them in the sled.

Evan said "Hey Ardyn, do you want to go outside and play?" And I wish that I would have had a camera at that moment to capture the look of shock, disbelief, and excitement on her face. To think that she was headed for bed and then suddenly was headed outside to play in 5 inches of the first snowfall of the year? at 10pm? In the DARK? With mom AND dad?! She was soooooo thrilled. She said "Me?!?" "Now?!?" "In the SNOW?!?!" and she tore off for the potty, squealing with happiness. We got them changed and dressed and went outside. They played in the yard while Evan was getting the sleds from the garage, and then we pulled them up and down the entire length of our street. It was beautiful and still. The flakes were big and falling so slowly and thickly.... it was a dream. The kids laughed and squealed and Marek had the biggest grin. Ardyn drug her hands through the snow over and over, and made a snow angel in the yard and tasted the snow off the swing-set. It was great. Best decision ever. And they went inside, got undressed, and fell fast asleep!We got some great little photos, but my favorite of all, is this one, of Evan pulling Ardyn down the street towards home. Peaceful.
So it was a great night. And then I stayed up way to late and ended up regretting it when I had to drag my butt out of bed for my spiritual retreat today. But it was so worth it. I knew it would be, but I was so impressed and felt so stimulated and NORMAL (meaning I do still have brains in there somewhere) and I even felt invigorated to scrape 9 inches of snow off the van and barrel out of the unplowed drive and creep my way down unplowed roads to get to Pilgrim Park. I had no intention of taking my camera with to the retreat (lots of people are really bothered by having their photos taken. I don't want to offend anyone, but again, this is my life that I am documenting.) and then at the last minute, when I saw the snow, and realized that I was bound to run into some really beautiful sights today, I quick grabbed my SD Card and the D3000 and took off out the door. And I am SO glad I did.

It was BEYOND beautiful at Pilgrim Park. Beyond. It reminded me of home, and of Midwest Living Magazine, and of so many snowy days growing up. The chapel at the park is just phenomenal. It made me realize that my entire life, I have been cramped into churches with beautiful stained glass windows, but never really realized that a huge part (the best part) of God's presence here on earth was being obstructed from my view. Was this at the assumption that if I could see outside I wouldn't pay attention to the droning that went on inside? Perhaps. I don't know. But you sure know how I feel about conspiracies and religious ones at that.

Seeing the beauty that God brought around us, and the weather which brought us together and challenged us at the same time.... We all agreed it was a definite way of God telling us that he is here. That he is STILL SPEAKING. It was phenomenal to listen and let your thoughts roll around while looking out at the snow. Sometimes falling softly and lightly, sometimes heavily and thickly, and sometimes not at all, with the exception of large chunks sliding from the branches to plop through the fluff below. Before the retreat actually started I stomped all over the place in the snow and got soaked up to my knees, and spent the better part of the morning drying out my socks and sweatpants. But as you can see, it was entirely worth it. These pictures mean a lot to me, and will forever remind me of this day, and the things I pondered and learned.
So, about the retreat. There are so many things to say, although I don't want to spoil it, because it's something that Adam is working on and while it's probably not for everyone, it's for everyone like me :) There were several discussion points and learning opportunities, but perhaps the real reason that it stuck with me (oh there were several really) was the idea that there is a mindfulness in everyday activities. A mindfulness that you can (and should perhaps) practice, so that it becomes a way of life. So that when performing any type of task, it becomes not just another task or another item on your to-do list, but something entirely better. It becomes like a prayer to God. Wait, not LIKE a prayer to God. It IS a prayer to God. It's reveling in the marvel of everything, of every blessing we have been given. From the basic presence of God in the soil, the rain, the sunshine.... to the more complex things like the food we eat, the people and things we have to be thankful for, and to really pay attention to what we are currently seeing as just another piece of monotonous life. Adam drew some really fascinating pictures in my head. It appealed to me on this awesome level, more-so than I could have imagined it would.

He went back into the history of Christianity... even before Christianity, and filled my head with knowledge of Saints and stories of slavery and Catholicism and the fall of the Roman Empire (*cough cough* Tudors on Showtime anyone? :) and everything was just so fascinating. It reminded me how disappointed I am in the way Americans are "taught" this narrow-minded history of our country. This story about the greatness of America, and the rest of the world is really just left out, unless they tried to oppose us or fight us in any way. It is so frustrating to know that there is so much knowledge out there waiting to be discovered and that without people like Adam to inspire and take the time to share and talk with you, I might not ever feel connected to it.

Ironically, over our morning snack I started a conversation with a new friend about our history and the way that our names changed when our ancestors came to America. I explained that my Husband's last name of Johnson wasn't the last name at all. McShane. I could be Meagan McShane. And my Paternal Grandma would have been an Immesote, but instead became and Emmerson. She was talking of her family names that were changed, and others began joining our table with their pastries and fruit and coffee and soon we had a full discussion going on about our ancestors and our heritage and how sad it is that so many things are lost or changed in order to Americanize.... or for other reasons to many to mention here.

Little did I know that mentioning our names, and that Evan and I feel a strong pull to Gaelic names, and that is why we chose Ardyn and Marek for our children's names.... would all be coming back around in our afternoon discussions.

Adam brought out the stories of Gaelic (Irish, Scottish, Celtic) traditions that were suppressed by the Christian Church. Practices that were centuries old, and had been going on before Christianity itself, were suppressed. Documents destroyed and People told that saying the prayers that they had passed down for generations (even though they had been adapted or amended for Christianity) were now heresy. Gaelic prayers that were said for everyday chores. Praying Mindfully. Including worship for God in your everyday life. Saying a prayer while making the bed. While washing your face. While starting the fire or welcoming the day. Prayers while cooking or farming or raising your children. Recognizing God everywhere was an everyday part of life. Being mindful was as natural as the daily activities they performed. Tasks were blessings from God. They were done methodically and with joy. These Common prayers helped us stay connected to God continually. Informally. It was REAL. Luckily the common prayers were saved and written down, protected in Ireland. And I intend to get those books and read them. Because every prayer that we were given as an example today was PHENOMENAL. They spoke to me. They reminded me of my daily tasks, and of how many things I have to be thankful for. To be MINDFUL of. And of the way I can build my relationship with God. On OUR terms. Not someone else's. Not only on Sunday. Not only with religious people. But by myself. And of ways that I can pass that mindfulness on to my children.

No matter how you feel about religion, no matter what you believe or IF you believe, I believe that there is a God, and that I need a REAL relationship with him. A relationship that is not about what my MOPS group thinks I should do, not about what my Pastor thinks I should do, not about what my mother thinks I should do, not about what my church family thinks I should do. Prayer is between myself and MY father. And I choose to be mindful.

Am I rambling? sorry.

Two of the most amazing things struck me today.... just gave me an "Aha!" moment. Things that spoke to me and that I felt were those "meant to be" reasons that I attended.

I am planning the baptism of Ardyn and Marek. I don't want it to be the traditional "three-ring circus" in which you have to have the church watching, the Godparents chosen and present (a Catholic tradition to bring more people into the church), the baptism gown, the entire family drug to church in ties and dresses whether they believe or not. I don't want that for my kids. I want them to be baptised in the presence of the church family that I am growing to know and love. I want meaningful things said to them and I want it to be peaceful and mindful. And one of the Gaelic prayers of baptism was astonishingly simple. But real. And to the point. And believe it or not (irony? Destiny?) It was a birth baptism performed by Womb Women (midwives) at the mother's side while the baby was being born and while the baby was just fresh and new. It was sweet and melodic and it brought tears to my eyes just hearing it. And I was instantly taken back to my children. Ardyn Labored and Marek Born in the water. And I thought about how it felt so RIGHT to have Marek in the water, and I thought how RIGHT it would have felt to have him baptised right then and there. And I thought how right it would be to have the same Gaelic baptism prayer said when they are baptized this winter. Ironic? Meant to be? Certainly.

The other AHA! moment was when Adam asked us about modern mindful prayers. I was reminded of the book I read (okay, I lie. I didn't read it. I just Perused it.) titled "Real Moms, Real Jesus." It had to go back to the library before I could actually read it, but I gathered enough from the excerpts I was able to read. Enough to understand that Our Father put Jesus here on Earth to walk with us, to experience our life, and to relate to us. Jesus can relate to me as a mother perhaps even more than God can. Jesus knew what it was like to be in high demand. He knew what it was like to be wanted and needed and touched everywhere he went. He knew what it was like to be called upon to heal people, feed people, care for the sick, the weak, the weary. He was in high demand. Much like a mom. Much like a Stay at Home Mom like me who doesn't get a vacation day. Who lives her job 24-7, 365 days a year. Jesus understands what it's like to live that life. He understands the joys and the pains and the overwhelming happiness and the occasional despair you feel when you have to be everything for someone, or for many someones. This gives me a courage and a closeness to Jesus that I never felt before. I always got so confused about the Father, Son, Holy Spirit business. Seriously? Which one was I supposed to be listening to? Whose job was what? Why are there three? I think I have learned where this is going, but it's something I learn every day. And today Adam taught me that St Patrick was a slave. That he was a tax collectors son who had been stolen and sold. That he lived in terrible circumstances.... and that he turned to God. And I learned things that are simple, and that I should have been TAUGHT. Like St Patrick using the Shamrock (hell-o!) to teach of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.... Three leaves but one plant.

Why are we not taught these things?! In my religious upbringing we were just told that the bible said so and this is what it says and so you need to just blindly believe. So frustrating.

So anyway. You get the picture. Hopefully I haven't spoiled Adam's teachings by rambling on about them. I can't wait to read the first three chapters of his book's rough draft.... now if I could just remember WHERE I put it!?

*sigh*

Here's hoping that I can make it to church tomorrow and the wind doesn't blow all this snow silly!

The History of Sex

What a weekend! It's only Saturday night and I feel like I have accomplished SO MUCH! I am waiting for my pizza and breadsticks to be done, and watching "The History of Sex" on the History Channel. Wow. I am learning ALOT. For example, that male homesexuality traces way back and can be identified in ancient greece and rome. The Sacred Band of Thebes were 150 homesexual couples. They died so that they wouldn't look badly in the eyes of their lovers. What I find amazing is that the homosexual relationship between an older male and a pubescent boy was embraced and considered a rite of passage. And that penetration of the young boy was NOT a part of the experience. The most fascinating is how candidly and normal sex was in their society. It's so interesting. In Egypt, there literally WERE no virgin women. There wasn't even an Egyptian word for virgin. There was no reason to abstain from sex, but they did believe in monogomy and marraige in Egypt, which was not the case in may other cultures. The number of prostitutes and slaves that were used for sex were amazing. But WIVES were not allowed to cheat in most cultures, because they were the property of their husbands, and their reproductive capabilities were also the property of their husbands. Anyone man would have sex with a married woman and got caught, was accused of "theivery" and punished. Augustus of Rome was the first person to make Adultery a Crime. This preluded the rise of Christianity.

What amazes me is that in our culture, we are taught about Greek Gods and Egyptian Culture but all of the sexual details are left out, but sexuality was a HUGE and MAJOR piece of their culture and everyday life. How can you tell the story of Helen of Troy and leave out sexuality and adultery? It's all this jaded storybook tale that we make up to tell our kids and if we don't see specials like this or read on the subject as adults, we don't know any better. I am also amazed by the number of carvings and stone tablets that show sexual acts or genitals. And the fact that we never see any of them. They even say that all the Egyptian chiselings that show a man holding a spear are a metaphor for penetration, because the word for spear is the root of the word that means impregnation. When sexual images were not used, metaphors for sex were used.

The second hour of the show breaks down the EASTERN World and how their take on sex was so much different than the Christianity in the Western World. The Eastern world found a perfect balance between religion and sexuality and believed that one could not exist without the other. I have huge respect for that. The program goes on to discuss taoism and confuscism. Taoism beliefs are centered around longevity of life for men. They discuss having sex without ejaculating, all to prolong your life and become sharper in your senses (on edge, LOL) and if you could have sex with 10 women, or 10 times, and make the woman have an orgasm without ejaculating, you would acheive eternal life. Men chose women who were young, because they hadn't been "tainted" or ruined by giving birth (ouch!) Confuscism believed in prolonging the family. It believed in procreation and having a large family. Women who bore children were very valuable and were the choice of mates. Infant mortality rates were high, so men took to polygamy. Men had their legal wife, and their concubines. The men's job was to keep them from fighting and feeling slighted. Keep everyone happy. One king of ancient China had 121 wives and concubines. He had sexual secretaries that kept extensive records of which wife needed her "needs" addressed. This started the practice of chinese aphrodisiacs. Chinese sex manuals changed to give points on pleasuring women as well as men, because if the women enjoyed sex, they would want to have sex more and would create more children as a result.

Men did frequent brothels in China. Even men with many wives. (For R & R) Brothels were considered an escape from polygamy. Lots of business (not just sexual, but merchants, etc.) was conducted in brothels. Upscale brothels were forums for men to socialize. When men took to brothels, some women took on lovers. But adultery (by women) was punishable by death. They also discussed the eroticism of feet in Chinese Culture. Foot binding was the practice and Chinese men were not ever allowed to see their wives bare feet.

Japanese had their own unique beliefs regarding sex. No original sin. Sexual practices were never looked upon as sin. The Japanese believed that the family was the backbone of life. As long as Japanese men took care of their families and children, they could have as much extramarital sex as they wanted. Japanese women also had multiple lovers and husbands. FINALLY. LOL.

What I didn't know (and they didn't teach us, hell-o!) - Geishas were Prostitutes?!?! How did I miss that! Damn! Prostitution was licensed and regulated. "Licensed Prostitutes." Geishas were considered artists who sang, danced, and had sexual relations with their clients. They originated as the daughters of fallen aristocrats. The show explained that "when a woman wouldn't suffice" men would go to the theater. A Kabuki, where women's roles were played by men, were havens for male prostitutes. They often had affairs with high ranking males like Shoguns and Samauri. Customers who consorted with the boy prostitutes had no repurcussions and were not looked down upon. It was common practice. Prostitutes, Geishas, etc. were common everyday life. It was not hidden. People bought pornographic art and hung it in their homes without shame.

In India, sex and spirituality are tightly interwoven. Hindus used sexual love as a metaphor in their writing and art for their relationship with God. Indian gods are models for Human life. They have wives and pets and children and weapons. In Buddhism, the root of the religion resides in the yoni (vagina.) Therefore the root of enlightenment is in the vagina. This is something that I know something about from yoga and other meditation practices and music. I am fascinated by Buddhism. Many Buddhist Monks and Nuns chose celibacy, instead of enlightenment through the yoni. This is where the Kama Sutra comes into play. The book was written by someone who probably never had sex. It was written more for the men and the elites of society. The last book of the kama sutra deals strictly with penis enlargement and vaginal restriction. The show discusses how, instead of graphically explaining sexual positions in poetry, writers would indicate that the woman was on top by saying that her "garter bells were shaking" and indicates she was on the bottom by saying that her "ankle bells were ringing."

Indian men used parrots to seduce women. They would teach the bird how to say sexual phrases. Men sought women with large breasts, narrow waists, and large hips and thighs. But that didn't have much to do with who they would marry... there were arranged marraiges where child brides (under the age of 12) who moved in with her husband when she reached puberty. The brides lived with their in-laws and became young slaves. There was no sex on the first night of marriage. The longer you wait for the sex, the more potent it was supposed to be. Tantra was the breaking of taboos. It combined several religions and broke many religions laws of society. By eating meat, drinking alcohol, taking drugs, and having ritualized sex, Tantrists believed they could attain enlightenment. many Indian Temples display Tantric sex on their outer walls. Tantric Orgys looked like sexual games of twister. Tantric sex was considered dark and secretive and dangerous. It was often done in dark cemetaries. It was said that there is a Serpent coiled at the base of a persons spine. Tantric sex was supposed to release the serpent and it would slink up to a person's head and they would obtain enlightenment.

So, that's your lesson in sex for the day. Although that's probably enough to last a lifetime.

Religion Quiz

Not taking this toooo terribly serious since some chick on the internet just randomly created it. But I wasn't surprised to see Buddhism so high on the list. Um, satanism (and islam) I was a little surprised to see. I don't believe the paganism card though. I think that's because I answered lots of things earth related but answered no to "I don't ever hurt any living creature" because unlike true Buddhists, I eat meat and will squash a bug in no time flat. SO I am gathering that's how Paganism got higher than Buddhism. Or hey, think I am a witch. Who knows. Like I said, Random Web Chick.

You scored as Paganism. Your beliefs are most closely aligned with those of paganism, Wicca, or a similar earth-based religion. You may also follow a Native American religion. Paganism 79% Buddhism 75% agnosticism 63% Islam 58% Satanism 54% Hinduism 38% atheism 29% Christianity 25% Judaism 21% Which religion is the right one for you? (new version) created with QuizFarm.com