Well it's naptime. We have become much more consistent around here with naptime right after lunch. We clean up out lunch mess, usually load and run the dishwasher, and then we head in for naps. Some days I nap too, other days Marek naps and Ardyn watches a movie quietly in her room. Sometimes we all nap. Sometimes just they nap. It's at least consistent timing, and consistent in the fact that Marek always gets some sleep, Ardyn gets some quiet time, and I get a break.
Today I have decided on "bubble bath" and have shut myself in the bathroom with the little electric heater and my laptop while I watch the tub fill. Then I will settle in with the new issue of Good Housekeeping and the JoAnn flyer for this week. I look forward to that!
Last night instead of getting right on housework after the kids went to sleep, I decided to watch Circus on PBS and do some crochet. It was fascinating, and it gave me a new outlook on the circus. When Ardyn was a baby I saw a special on TV about poorly treated circus animals and the elephant that went crazy and broke out of the tent during a circus, with a mother and children on her back. In a way I don't blame the elephant. But it was a vivid reminder of the time my sister rode the elephant when the circus came to Walnut. And it was very eye-opening as the elephant turned over cars and charged through the circus grounds, until he needed to be shot with a tranquilizer gun... all with innocent people... CHILDREN on his/her back. It was sad. But it was a strong reminder that these animals are just normal animals. They can be frustrated and depressed and in an environment where they are very scared or angry. I came to the conclusion that it really is not safe to put your child on the back of a circus elephant. What do you REALLY know about those trainers, or the condition the elephant lives and works in. What do you know about that elephant's temperment? It's scary. To me it became common sense that Ardyn would not ride a circus elephant. if she wants to ride an elephant let her go to India and ride a working elephant who is in it's natural habitat and respected by his owner. Let her make that decision as a responsible adult. But of course then I had this inner moral dilemma (which I suppose most people don't think about) about even going to a circus. I thought about our safety trapped inside a tent with tigers and elephants and whatever other animal may or may not be happy in their current conditions. I thought about the fact that merely by attending, we were supporting (monetarily) the possible unethical treatment of these animals that were in captivity. I longed for the days when I was a child and saw the circus as wonderful and amazing. As an experience that everyone should have at least once. I wondered exactly how I would react and what I would decide when it became time to see a circus. Would we go? If we didn't, how would I explain that to Ardyn and Marek? If we did go, how would I explain that we shouldn't ride the elephant. Oh choices. The last time the circus came to town I didn't know until it was already there and performing, so in a way I was secretly disappointed, yet secretly happy that I didn't have to make those decisions yet.
But then I got to thinking, we go to the Zoo. We assume that those animals (who were likely bred in captivity) are happy and well cared for. But do we know? No, not really. We hope. And then I think, if I were born in a concentration camp, instead of taken to one, would that make it right? Um. No. I can understand the protection of endangered animals, but aren't the rest of them there more for our amusement? Or is it for education? Or is it both?
I know that there are those of you who are thinking I am OVERthinking this, and that I am some nut job, but I really want to hear from those of you who have had this internal debate.
And I want to say that the circus special was a phenomenal look at families who are just like us, but live on the road. They have supper and they go to "school" on the road. The kids ride their bikes and the parents tell them they can't have coke to drink. It's all pretty normal. And the most fascinating thing is that most of them were BORN in the circus. And they are often 7th or 8th or even 9th generation circus performers. And what was also amazing was that this was a REAL Circus. We are talking tightrope acts, flying trapeze, dogs doing tricks, the whole gig. From my circus experience, i remember it being more of a zoo on wheels. I don't remember there being "talent" and artistic expression. So this led me to decide that IF I take my kids to a circus, I would like it to be a REAL Circus. with REAL performers and people who have done this their entire life. Not the circus that I went to where it seemed more like carnies with animals. What have your circus experiences been? as a child or with your own children? Did you see a big name circus? Was it a different experience? Did you feel safe there? Curious.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
Rose Whitcher's Pizza Dough
So, I love to
make pizza dough. Rose provided me with her recipe, which is my favorite. She has given me permission to share, at the request of many... so that her legacy of pizza will live on :) I love to make giant batches and freeze them. Each of the batches below will make two crusts, either 2 cookies sheet sized pizzas, or 2 large round pizzas (like on the PChef Pizza Stone)One crust will fit in a quart sized freezer ziploc. After the first rise, you punch the dough down, and put it in the labeled freezer bag, and put it in the freezer immediately so it doesn't rise again on you :)
Here are Rose's Directions:
Pizza Dough
Makes two cookie sheets, thick crust
Mix together
1 ½ C Warm water
1 Package of fast rising yeast
3 T Sugar
2 T Olive oil
Add Flour (Meagan uses White Bread Flour)
I use a kneading mixer or a whisk if you don’t have one. Start adding flour a couple of tablespoons at a time until you have to use your hands. Flour your hands and keep adding flour until it isn’t sticky anymore. It will turn into a nice ball of dough. Cover with clean towel and let rise. Punch it down and work out on your greased cookie sheets. Don’t use the fancy double ones; it won’t have a nice crust. My pans are older than you and look like they need to be tossed but they make the best pizza.
Meagan's Notes:
I make mine on pizza stones and have been INSANELY satisfied with the results every single time. Keep in mind that if you aren't a bread baker, you need to be careful at the temperature of your water. 100 degrees is ideal for proper rising. I let mine rise in the kitchen (keeping it warm in there!) and put the dough in a greased bowl (LARGE) and I put the dough ball in the bowl and turn it once so that the whole ball is greased and it doesn't dry out when rising. I cover it with a flour sack towel. If your kitchen is cool, you can place your oven on warm, and then once it heats up, TURN OFF THE OVEN and then put the bowl on the top rack, covered with your towel, and close the door to keep it slightly warm inside. Any questions let me know!
Monday, November 01, 2010
Got a hat. Guess it's getting cold.
*sigh*
I really get frustrated by society's tendency to figure your worth based on your monetary value. I wonder if I would still say that if I were rich? LOL.
I've got money on the brain lately. I need to do a massive purge of possessions and I also need money, so somehow I have to make the two coincide.
Trick-Or-Treat went really well. The kids' costumes were great, although finished right on the deadline. Marek was as rockin as ever in his big hair costume... although he decided that the best addition for trick-or-treat was a hot pink pacifier and a fluffy white bunny. That's hardcore.
Ardyn did great. I basically had her pretty inaccessible in that costume, and was really worried about when she was going to have to pee. Luckily it worked out great and we just took it off and had a break between the costume party and trick or treating. Late last night I realized that it was in fact the eve of November, which by the calendar I ascertained that the next morning was Ardyn's Snack day at preschool. So I took both exhausted kids, who hadn't had naps but had plenty of sugar, in the van in their pajamas and ran to get snack. We chose Apples and Yogurt :) Yum!
I took Ardyn to school this morning and then came home for a while. Marek and I loaded and ran the dishwasher and then I switched the big whiteboard calendar from October to November. Marek and I ran to get Ardyn and we made a day of it. We took our Trick Or Treat coupons from McDonald's and BK and made the drive-thru rounds getting free lunch. Then we went to Wal-Mart to get our Halloween stuff at half-price. By this I mean that we had Halloween stuff that we purchased before it went on clearance, and then today when the prices went down, we took our receipt in and they paid us the difference. We used the difference to get a Christmas sewing magazine (mwaaahahaha!) and hats and gloves/mittens for the kids.
After that we went to Sherwood Antique Mall and both kids hopped into the $15 double umbrella stroller and we went around the whole place. We were looking for two items. A replacement for my vintage chopper, which I have had for about 12 years and just broke last month, and a corn dryer, which we want to use for hanging wet mittens above the heat vent on the front porch :)
We found both, although the corn dryer wasn't the exact one I had been looking for, and so we put our name down in case they came across one in the future.
I was also fortunate to register and receive a scholarship for an upcoming spiritual retreat that I am SUPER excited about. It focuses on ways to find God in everyday life (and I am buried in everyday life over here :) and also some really interesting types of prayer that are right up my alley. It also helps that the retreat leader is one of the more fascinating people I have ever listened to, and seems to speak exactly to me, and to my beliefs. It's almost spooky sometimes when I am thinking about a subject and I hear it straight from him in a sermon or prayer or song. He helps lead a musical and talented family, and I can't wait to learn more and have a few weekends of some clear-headed relaxation and thinking (quiet!) If you are local and would like more information, check out www.adambrookswebber.com for a peek.
Tomorrrow night is our MOPS meeting and this time I don't have much in the way of actual duties to prepare.... but the few that I do have, I have been postponing as usual, and this means that tomorrow I will be busy with them. Really I just have a few updates to our directory, putting our newsletter on the website and checking the calendar, and also making printouts for our discussion group leaders.
As I type this Ardyn is belting out the chorus to her new favorite songs. Tommy James and the Shondells "My Baby Does the Hanky -'Banky'..." Most of you know that I love oldies and 60's/70's rock, and she is catching on quickly to the iPod. :)
The foster kitty has been doing well. He is getting more "underfoot" lately, but I think he's really pissed off that he is trapped inside. Otherwise I have seen him catch two mice and suspect that he has caught and killed at least two more. Yay!
This evening the kids and I were out in the yard for a while and I used the Worx Leaf Blower to clean up in the yard a bit. I love that it's electric and I can mulch them, because they don't blow away inside the picket fence. I am so against leaf removal. They were MEANT to fall on the ground people! Just LEAVE them there. But apparently society wants me to rake my leaves. I just want them to blow into my neighbor's yard. Seriously?
I got about half of it finished before Ardyn had to come in for a potty break.
I really get frustrated by society's tendency to figure your worth based on your monetary value. I wonder if I would still say that if I were rich? LOL.
I've got money on the brain lately. I need to do a massive purge of possessions and I also need money, so somehow I have to make the two coincide.
Trick-Or-Treat went really well. The kids' costumes were great, although finished right on the deadline. Marek was as rockin as ever in his big hair costume... although he decided that the best addition for trick-or-treat was a hot pink pacifier and a fluffy white bunny. That's hardcore.
Ardyn did great. I basically had her pretty inaccessible in that costume, and was really worried about when she was going to have to pee. Luckily it worked out great and we just took it off and had a break between the costume party and trick or treating. Late last night I realized that it was in fact the eve of November, which by the calendar I ascertained that the next morning was Ardyn's Snack day at preschool. So I took both exhausted kids, who hadn't had naps but had plenty of sugar, in the van in their pajamas and ran to get snack. We chose Apples and Yogurt :) Yum!
I took Ardyn to school this morning and then came home for a while. Marek and I loaded and ran the dishwasher and then I switched the big whiteboard calendar from October to November. Marek and I ran to get Ardyn and we made a day of it. We took our Trick Or Treat coupons from McDonald's and BK and made the drive-thru rounds getting free lunch. Then we went to Wal-Mart to get our Halloween stuff at half-price. By this I mean that we had Halloween stuff that we purchased before it went on clearance, and then today when the prices went down, we took our receipt in and they paid us the difference. We used the difference to get a Christmas sewing magazine (mwaaahahaha!) and hats and gloves/mittens for the kids.
After that we went to Sherwood Antique Mall and both kids hopped into the $15 double umbrella stroller and we went around the whole place. We were looking for two items. A replacement for my vintage chopper, which I have had for about 12 years and just broke last month, and a corn dryer, which we want to use for hanging wet mittens above the heat vent on the front porch :)
We found both, although the corn dryer wasn't the exact one I had been looking for, and so we put our name down in case they came across one in the future.
I was also fortunate to register and receive a scholarship for an upcoming spiritual retreat that I am SUPER excited about. It focuses on ways to find God in everyday life (and I am buried in everyday life over here :) and also some really interesting types of prayer that are right up my alley. It also helps that the retreat leader is one of the more fascinating people I have ever listened to, and seems to speak exactly to me, and to my beliefs. It's almost spooky sometimes when I am thinking about a subject and I hear it straight from him in a sermon or prayer or song. He helps lead a musical and talented family, and I can't wait to learn more and have a few weekends of some clear-headed relaxation and thinking (quiet!) If you are local and would like more information, check out www.adambrookswebber.com for a peek.
Tomorrrow night is our MOPS meeting and this time I don't have much in the way of actual duties to prepare.... but the few that I do have, I have been postponing as usual, and this means that tomorrow I will be busy with them. Really I just have a few updates to our directory, putting our newsletter on the website and checking the calendar, and also making printouts for our discussion group leaders.
As I type this Ardyn is belting out the chorus to her new favorite songs. Tommy James and the Shondells "My Baby Does the Hanky -'Banky'..." Most of you know that I love oldies and 60's/70's rock, and she is catching on quickly to the iPod. :)
The foster kitty has been doing well. He is getting more "underfoot" lately, but I think he's really pissed off that he is trapped inside. Otherwise I have seen him catch two mice and suspect that he has caught and killed at least two more. Yay!
This evening the kids and I were out in the yard for a while and I used the Worx Leaf Blower to clean up in the yard a bit. I love that it's electric and I can mulch them, because they don't blow away inside the picket fence. I am so against leaf removal. They were MEANT to fall on the ground people! Just LEAVE them there. But apparently society wants me to rake my leaves. I just want them to blow into my neighbor's yard. Seriously?
I got about half of it finished before Ardyn had to come in for a potty break.
Saturday, October 02, 2010
October :)
Wheel of Fortune in HD? Yep. That's what a Lazy Saturday is all about. Well, I feel like it's been lazy. I did sleep till about 10am, although I was up with Ardyn at 4:30 and again at about 8am, when she crawled into bed with me and started watching cartoons.
I started the day by folding all the laundry (4 loads) that had been piled on my bed, and then decided it was a good time to pack up the kids' summer clothes. It was freezing cold here today, and the wind was wicked. We stayed inside. I painted two walls in the "new" area of the kitchen, which I will from this point forward be referring to as the pantry (stay with my people.)
The paint color that we chose (by we, I mean my mom, my sister, my sister-in-law to be, and myself) was really darker than I had expected and had a bad tint to it that I hadn't seen coming... but Evan and I were convinced that we should at least put a second coat on it in case that was just what was needed. So the section of one wall that I had painted, I put a second coat on and we both agreed that really WAS what was needed. So I proceeded and painted the second wall. It needs another coat which I am hoping on doing here in a bit.
I also loaded the dishwasher and ran it, and made chocolate chip walnut cookies and rice krispie treats. It was chilly so I put on my sweatshirt cardigan and my slippers and lay on the couch and read Ardyn a few new Halloween books before daddy took her to Grandma's for the night. Marek took a HUGE nap, like 3.5 hours. I was jealous, but I thought that if I took a nap after Ardyn left, Marek had been asleep long enough that I would likely just be cranky because he would wake up before I actually got a decent nap in. So I baked instead.
I started working a bit on Marek's Halloween costume. I am a little freaked out about the fact that this month is INSANELY busy and I have two Halloween costumes to get made. Marek's shirt is in the dyeing process right now, and next up is some bedazzling (mwahahahaha!)
The house is still all torn up but not in the construction sense as much as in the "we still have so much to paint" sense. And in the "half the kitchen is living in the dining room" sense. Last week I ordered cabinets and countertop for the pantry, and flooring for the whole kitchen. I am completely changing the decor in the kitchen, which I didn't really want to do, but the retro 50's thing just doesn't seem to mesh with this bungalow craftsman thing we have going on, and the flooring and cabinets and countertop that I was drawn to say "craftsman" instead of "retro."
I am excited by the kitchen changes, but am worried about choosing things like Curtains. I just don't know what "theme" I am going to go with, if any at all. Flooring install should be in two weeks, and cabinets will be delivered after that sometime. I just transferred our October calendar to the wipe off board and I was overwhelmed instantly. This week will be the most hectic. Evan's brother gets married this weekend, and so this week means haircuts for Marek and I, color for me, hopefully a pedicure (any reason for that is a good one) and also a Haircut for Evan. Ardyn has a hair appointment to get her hair styled, but it's a catholic wedding so pictures start at 11am... which is just an hour after her hair appointment. Basically I am going to have to have my things and Ardyn's things packed and ready the night before, as well as having Marek's things packed, because I will have to get ready at the salon while Ardyn is getting her hair done, and then get Ardyn ready after that and go right for pictures. Evan is in the wedding too, so he will get Marek ready with him and bring Marek to meet Ardyn and I at the church. I also have to have spare clothes and overnight bags packed for the kids as they will leave the reception with my family.
Add to all the wedding fun.... two days of school for Ardyn, dance class, rehearsal dinner, and a MOPS meeting that I have a ton to prepare for, and yeah, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. LOL. But if we just get through that week, then all that's left is Halloween costumes and installation of everything in the pantry area. Oh and painting. Lots and lots of painting. Tonight I need to start (and finish?!) The spreadsheet and then the directory for MOPS, and then the table assignments need to be redone, as well as the discussion questions typed up. Oy. Hoping I can wait till Marek goes to sleep to have some silence. Oh and I have website updates to do also.
Tomorrow I am going to actually do something for ME. Pottery Class. As in on a pottery wheel, making my own pieces, with the extremely talented and fun Ann Dittmer and my co-student and mamma friend Courtney ;) I can't wait!
Well, that's the lowdown, and here's to what is sure to be an exciting week!
I started the day by folding all the laundry (4 loads) that had been piled on my bed, and then decided it was a good time to pack up the kids' summer clothes. It was freezing cold here today, and the wind was wicked. We stayed inside. I painted two walls in the "new" area of the kitchen, which I will from this point forward be referring to as the pantry (stay with my people.)
The paint color that we chose (by we, I mean my mom, my sister, my sister-in-law to be, and myself) was really darker than I had expected and had a bad tint to it that I hadn't seen coming... but Evan and I were convinced that we should at least put a second coat on it in case that was just what was needed. So the section of one wall that I had painted, I put a second coat on and we both agreed that really WAS what was needed. So I proceeded and painted the second wall. It needs another coat which I am hoping on doing here in a bit.
I also loaded the dishwasher and ran it, and made chocolate chip walnut cookies and rice krispie treats. It was chilly so I put on my sweatshirt cardigan and my slippers and lay on the couch and read Ardyn a few new Halloween books before daddy took her to Grandma's for the night. Marek took a HUGE nap, like 3.5 hours. I was jealous, but I thought that if I took a nap after Ardyn left, Marek had been asleep long enough that I would likely just be cranky because he would wake up before I actually got a decent nap in. So I baked instead.
I started working a bit on Marek's Halloween costume. I am a little freaked out about the fact that this month is INSANELY busy and I have two Halloween costumes to get made. Marek's shirt is in the dyeing process right now, and next up is some bedazzling (mwahahahaha!)
The house is still all torn up but not in the construction sense as much as in the "we still have so much to paint" sense. And in the "half the kitchen is living in the dining room" sense. Last week I ordered cabinets and countertop for the pantry, and flooring for the whole kitchen. I am completely changing the decor in the kitchen, which I didn't really want to do, but the retro 50's thing just doesn't seem to mesh with this bungalow craftsman thing we have going on, and the flooring and cabinets and countertop that I was drawn to say "craftsman" instead of "retro."
I am excited by the kitchen changes, but am worried about choosing things like Curtains. I just don't know what "theme" I am going to go with, if any at all. Flooring install should be in two weeks, and cabinets will be delivered after that sometime. I just transferred our October calendar to the wipe off board and I was overwhelmed instantly. This week will be the most hectic. Evan's brother gets married this weekend, and so this week means haircuts for Marek and I, color for me, hopefully a pedicure (any reason for that is a good one) and also a Haircut for Evan. Ardyn has a hair appointment to get her hair styled, but it's a catholic wedding so pictures start at 11am... which is just an hour after her hair appointment. Basically I am going to have to have my things and Ardyn's things packed and ready the night before, as well as having Marek's things packed, because I will have to get ready at the salon while Ardyn is getting her hair done, and then get Ardyn ready after that and go right for pictures. Evan is in the wedding too, so he will get Marek ready with him and bring Marek to meet Ardyn and I at the church. I also have to have spare clothes and overnight bags packed for the kids as they will leave the reception with my family.
Add to all the wedding fun.... two days of school for Ardyn, dance class, rehearsal dinner, and a MOPS meeting that I have a ton to prepare for, and yeah, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. LOL. But if we just get through that week, then all that's left is Halloween costumes and installation of everything in the pantry area. Oh and painting. Lots and lots of painting. Tonight I need to start (and finish?!) The spreadsheet and then the directory for MOPS, and then the table assignments need to be redone, as well as the discussion questions typed up. Oy. Hoping I can wait till Marek goes to sleep to have some silence. Oh and I have website updates to do also.
Tomorrow I am going to actually do something for ME. Pottery Class. As in on a pottery wheel, making my own pieces, with the extremely talented and fun Ann Dittmer and my co-student and mamma friend Courtney ;) I can't wait!
Well, that's the lowdown, and here's to what is sure to be an exciting week!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
My Biopsy Results are Back. And Stuff.
So, this has been a really crazy month so far! Just late this afternoon I finally got the biopsy results back from my EGD and Scope. I learned a few things. Firstly, I did have the whole striation thing going on in my esophogus, and it was stretched.... but also, I have a hiatal hernia. What's that you say? Well, googled of course, it means
A hiatal hernia is an anatomical abnormality in which part of the stomach protrudes through the diaphragm and up into the chest.
Interesting.
The lower scope revealed the scarred and inflamed tissues, and the biopsies revealed no IBD (Crohn's or Colitis) but the inflammation and irritation are there just the same, and so the nurse (who we have already determined does not have a fabulous track record) told me that I should add more fiber to my diet and keep my appointment with the Doctor. Bowel irritation but no bowel disease- So, time will tell! Not sure what's causing the lower inflammation, it doesn't seem like it could be a result of the upper acid, but could it be a result of any off these gallstones that I have collected? Interesting.
A hiatal hernia is an anatomical abnormality in which part of the stomach protrudes through the diaphragm and up into the chest.
Normally, the esophagus or food tube passes down through the chest, crosses the diaphragm, and enters the abdomen through a hole in the diaphragm called the esophageal hiatus. Just below the diaphragm, the esophagus joins the stomach. In individuals with hiatal hernias, the opening of the esophageal hiatus (hiatal opening) is larger than normal, and a portion of the upper stomach slips up or passes (herniates) through the hiatus and into the chest.Fun, no? This explains the up high pain that I was having which was mistaken for gallbladder, and also the burping that I couldn't stop during an attack, which tasted as though something dead were living in my stomach, although it tasted worse than anything I had ever ever ever eaten in my entire life. Aha! So at this point the nurse tells me that there is no surgery or anything to correct this (which I google to discover that she is wrong) and that I can take antacids OTC and perhaps doctor will give me prescription PPI's or other alternatives when i see him at the end of September. And of course I research online (I love you google!) and find some alternative therapies that are working for people, like the HOPE Diet (which, ironically, until these attacks, I had been following 1/2 of already) and others have been taking Slippery Elm with fantastic results.
Interesting.
The lower scope revealed the scarred and inflamed tissues, and the biopsies revealed no IBD (Crohn's or Colitis) but the inflammation and irritation are there just the same, and so the nurse (who we have already determined does not have a fabulous track record) told me that I should add more fiber to my diet and keep my appointment with the Doctor. Bowel irritation but no bowel disease- So, time will tell! Not sure what's causing the lower inflammation, it doesn't seem like it could be a result of the upper acid, but could it be a result of any off these gallstones that I have collected? Interesting.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Drugs are awesome (legal ones)
Well, I lived through the double scope. It was seriously a breeze. The girls in the endoscopy unit took amazing care of me, and explained everything thoroughly. Dr. Kim is awesome. He has an awesome bedside manner and experience and education and he is running on time and efficient. It was actually a great experience. I was very surprised that I was barely nervous, even when the procedure was delayed for almost an hour because I didn't have enough fluid in me to pee for a pregnancy test (which is required) so they had to draw blood, which then took forever to get results back, and so I was IN the endoscopy suite ready to go under at 9am, right on schedule, but they did three other patients next door ahead of me because the lab results were not in yet. But I was back in my room by 11am and heading home at 11:30, although they wanted to let me go sooner I was in no hurry. They gave me the numbing spray and then two injections via my IV. Mary said "You're head will spin a bit" and then she said "anything?" and I said No. Then Dr. Kim said "anything?" and I said No. Next thing I know I woke up in recovery as they were wheeling me back to my room. Seriously. That was it.
I did listen to Dr talking to me after the procedure but I then couldn't remember anything he said. I think that in the afternoon I made Evan repeat it to me like 5 times, but each time I tried to remember it, I couldn't even remember what he told me.
Craig called me that evening to ask me a question about his new iPhone and I couldn't even think straight to answer him. LOL.
So overall it was good!
I intended to write more tonight, but am already finding myself tired. So maybe more this weekend ;)
I did listen to Dr talking to me after the procedure but I then couldn't remember anything he said. I think that in the afternoon I made Evan repeat it to me like 5 times, but each time I tried to remember it, I couldn't even remember what he told me.
Craig called me that evening to ask me a question about his new iPhone and I couldn't even think straight to answer him. LOL.
So overall it was good!
I intended to write more tonight, but am already finding myself tired. So maybe more this weekend ;)
Monday, September 06, 2010
Anyone want trade places, just for this week? Thursday looks good for me.
I've been trying to get to the blog for SO long now. I have several reviews that I need to get written, and I feel badly that I am a bit behind on them... but am looking on the bright side that they will be thorough reviews with products that I have really tested on a long term basis (positive spin... see how that works?) I really hate that now I have to go back and read my own blog to remind myself what I have already talked about. But tonight I am NOT going to do that. Sorry. Just not. It's my blog, you know how I operate.
This week is going to be SO busy that I am trying not to panic. I tell myself that God won't give me more than I can handle, but it's not what he gives me that worries me... It's the things that I can't help but volunteer for ;) Basically I love to volunteer, but if you see me coming this week, and you are a friend, do me a big favor and stop me. Just tell me to take a deep breath, reconsider, and really, don't take anything but NO for an answer from me. I just can not do one more thing without doing permanent brain injury this week.
The week has of course already gone off with a big bang, considering that today was Labor Day. And yes, three glorious Labor Days ago, I spent 15.5 hours in labor with Ardyn. *sigh* where does the time go? I would love to write a whole post about just that, and another entire post about just her Birthday dinner (we haven't even GOTTEN to the party yet!) but I haven't even uploaded the pictures from the camera, and I just can't fathom blogging without checking the pics and adding some for you to see. It's how I roll.
Tuesday is the big MOPS kickoff meeting, and most of you know by now that I am head-over-heels in LOVE with MOPS. I adore it. This year I really wanted to be an even bigger part, and help spread the word and the love to other moms because we can ALL use this support network. It has changed so much about my life and the way my children are raised and are able to interact with others. Without MOPS, Ardyn would not be in preschool this year. I would not have known that she COULD be in preschool (stupid public school cutoff dates!) and I really wouldn't have known much at all about the preschool that we chose for her. She wouldn't be starting dance. And I wouldn't have half of the sanity that I still seem to be clinging to.
So as part of the big MOPS kick-off, because I am now a Steering Team Member... I had lots of responsibility. We all did and do, but this year my position is a "new"one to our chapter... Discussion Group Coordinator. We have never had discussion groups in our chapter before, so this is very exciting, and really badly needed... but also will be a welcome challenge as we forge a path that we don't have set for us. So I have been working on centerpieces, names for our discussion groups, themes for each group, some creative/crafty stuff to go along with them... and also several forms and mailings that will go with the new group format. Also updating the website to get everything ready for this new season!
Tomorrow we have to be at the church EARLY in order to get things setup, and I still have copies to make and things to laminate.... all before tomorrow night's meeting. Also, did I mention that we have our contractor arriving TOMORROW to setup his gear and schedule delivery of our roofing supplies? And that is super exciting but in addition to starting the roof, they will also be starting (at the same time) the front porch. Yes. Front Porch. Home of my crap. Nothing says "welcome to my house" like a front porch sewing room and "scrap-crap" all over a temporary table. Be prepared to trip over cords and weave around containers. Seriously. But since I am finishing the MOPS meeting stuff, the table can be put away. Which had to happen tonight in case they need to get inside tomorrow. And it's 11pm and I haven't moved the Wicker furniture outside. Or stuffed the centerpieces yet. And yes, I know I shouldn't be blogging, but I can't HELP it. I should NEVER be blogging but I need this release. It's like a memory-dump for me.
So this week the contractor starts the roofing, and the tearing out of the front porch windows and door, and I have to have one side of the porch cleared before Wednesday and likely cover the sewing crap on the other side so that it can be moved to the "finished" side and they can work on the "other" side. When this is all done, I have this grand master plan to move all of the sewing stuff to the opposite end of the porch and get more light, as well as more room, and also a perfect view of the front yard from the sewing table so that I can watch the kids play outside and work at the same time.
Oh and then there is that pesky little thing about Ardyn going to school twice a week, and Ardyn also starts dance this week! I am super excited about dance, but there is just ONE teeeeeny tiny hitch.... the same day that Ardyn starts dance? I have my first colonoscopy and EGD (upper scope.) Yay me! If you've been reading (have I talked about this on blog or just facebook?) I have
had these horrible attacks that at first we thought were gallbladder, but two ER visits, a fabulous one-night and two-day stay in the hospital, and bloodwork, Gallbladder Ultrasound, HIDA (nuclear medicine) scan, and a Abdominal CT with contrast later.... they think I have Crohn's or IBS. The specialist is leaning towards Crohn's wholeheartedly. And I have had a few attacks since being out of the hospital, the latest being about 24 hours long in which I thought I might alternately die, poop myself to death, or belch up an intestine. Yep. Good times. And this attack lasted 24 hours WITH double doses of Pepcid around the clock, a single dose of Prilosec (I was desperate) about 10 thousand TUMS, and a prescription Opiate painkiller. Yep. Still painful. That's the kind of pain we are talking. WTF.
So this Wednesday, I get to start my day by taking Ardyn to school. Then I get to take both kids and all their gear to my mom's, then I get to return home to a house full of contractors, and then I get to commence my first meal of the day, which will consist of.... wait for it.... ONE GALLON of liquid laxative. Yep. That's right. Those of you who have never had a colonoscopy.... don't be shy. Read alllllll about it. ONE Gallon of liquid laxative. No meals. limited liquid diet. You know what the GE's office staff said "You probably shouldn't make any plans that day." Um, ya think? Are there people who think they are going to drink a gallon of laxative and still make plans? Oh my. So they actually also told me that "we have several patients who say it's better to just take the gallon into the bathroom and drink it there." Yep. Can't wait. Did I mention I've decided I can't be responsible for my kids that day? And that I told my husband that he will wait on my hand
and foot, even if that means replenishing toilet paper? I am so not going through this alone. Someday he will have to do this. I vow that he will. And then, after drinking half of my gallon of laxative, I get to drift off into a peaceful sleep. And then wake up at 4am to start drinking the other half, which I must have drank before my morning appointment, and when I am FINALLY done with that gallon, I get to take not ONE, but TWO ducolax prescription laxative pills. Yep. Because I am sure there will still be some scary poo hiding in there somewhere. After 24 hours of no food and a gallon of laxative. Surely. I mean, these doctor's are SPECIALISTS. This is what they do for a living. Don't tell me that they don't see some poo here and there? But I have to top it all off with laxative tablets. Not one. Two. (okay, ending my rant)
So. Let's see how my week is shaping up.
1. Setup for MOPS kickoff meeting, finalize papers and decorations, make copies, etc.
2. Clean off half of front porch and stuff crap in an unnoticeable corner.
3. MOPS Kickoff meeting
4. Sleep
5. Take Ardyn to school
6. Come Home and pack kids things for two days with Grandma and Auntie.
6a. House inundated with construction work. Marek screaming and biting my legs whilst cleverly unpacking everything I pack.
7. Pick up Ardyn from school
8. Take kids and their Krap to Grandma's
9. Come home to half-a-front porch and start drinking my laxative
10. Poo a l0t, hope bathroom exhaust fan doesn't transfer smell to roofers and knock them off the house.
11. try to sleep.
12. Poo some more.
13. try to sleep.
14. Angrily wake-up before the sun
15. Drink More Laxative
16. Poooooooo
17. Take two ducolax
18. Poooooooo to the noise of construction starting all over again.
19. Head to hospital and hope I don't poop my pants on the way there.
20. Register.
21. Get put into hospital gown and under anesthesia.
22. Swallow Scope.
23. Hope I don't know what happens when they "turn the bed around" (the nurse's exact words)
24. Recover
25. Dress
26. Get Driven Home
27. Get Waited on Hand and Foot
28. Hope that I want to eat again sometime
29. Somehow get the children home and take Ardyn to her first dance class.
30. Start thinking about when to have poor child's birthday party that I have halfway finished.
30a-30e. Finish Pinata. Finish Invitations. Finish Decorations. Mail Invitations. Bake and Decorate Cupcakes.
So, anyone want to trade weeks with me?
Remember that I said don't let me volunteer for anything. I mean that. Can I make myself clearer?
Goodnight!
This week is going to be SO busy that I am trying not to panic. I tell myself that God won't give me more than I can handle, but it's not what he gives me that worries me... It's the things that I can't help but volunteer for ;) Basically I love to volunteer, but if you see me coming this week, and you are a friend, do me a big favor and stop me. Just tell me to take a deep breath, reconsider, and really, don't take anything but NO for an answer from me. I just can not do one more thing without doing permanent brain injury this week.
The week has of course already gone off with a big bang, considering that today was Labor Day. And yes, three glorious Labor Days ago, I spent 15.5 hours in labor with Ardyn. *sigh* where does the time go? I would love to write a whole post about just that, and another entire post about just her Birthday dinner (we haven't even GOTTEN to the party yet!) but I haven't even uploaded the pictures from the camera, and I just can't fathom blogging without checking the pics and adding some for you to see. It's how I roll.
Tuesday is the big MOPS kickoff meeting, and most of you know by now that I am head-over-heels in LOVE with MOPS. I adore it. This year I really wanted to be an even bigger part, and help spread the word and the love to other moms because we can ALL use this support network. It has changed so much about my life and the way my children are raised and are able to interact with others. Without MOPS, Ardyn would not be in preschool this year. I would not have known that she COULD be in preschool (stupid public school cutoff dates!) and I really wouldn't have known much at all about the preschool that we chose for her. She wouldn't be starting dance. And I wouldn't have half of the sanity that I still seem to be clinging to.
So as part of the big MOPS kick-off, because I am now a Steering Team Member... I had lots of responsibility. We all did and do, but this year my position is a "new"one to our chapter... Discussion Group Coordinator. We have never had discussion groups in our chapter before, so this is very exciting, and really badly needed... but also will be a welcome challenge as we forge a path that we don't have set for us. So I have been working on centerpieces, names for our discussion groups, themes for each group, some creative/crafty stuff to go along with them... and also several forms and mailings that will go with the new group format. Also updating the website to get everything ready for this new season!
Tomorrow we have to be at the church EARLY in order to get things setup, and I still have copies to make and things to laminate.... all before tomorrow night's meeting. Also, did I mention that we have our contractor arriving TOMORROW to setup his gear and schedule delivery of our roofing supplies? And that is super exciting but in addition to starting the roof, they will also be starting (at the same time) the front porch. Yes. Front Porch. Home of my crap. Nothing says "welcome to my house" like a front porch sewing room and "scrap-crap" all over a temporary table. Be prepared to trip over cords and weave around containers. Seriously. But since I am finishing the MOPS meeting stuff, the table can be put away. Which had to happen tonight in case they need to get inside tomorrow. And it's 11pm and I haven't moved the Wicker furniture outside. Or stuffed the centerpieces yet. And yes, I know I shouldn't be blogging, but I can't HELP it. I should NEVER be blogging but I need this release. It's like a memory-dump for me.
So this week the contractor starts the roofing, and the tearing out of the front porch windows and door, and I have to have one side of the porch cleared before Wednesday and likely cover the sewing crap on the other side so that it can be moved to the "finished" side and they can work on the "other" side. When this is all done, I have this grand master plan to move all of the sewing stuff to the opposite end of the porch and get more light, as well as more room, and also a perfect view of the front yard from the sewing table so that I can watch the kids play outside and work at the same time.
Oh and then there is that pesky little thing about Ardyn going to school twice a week, and Ardyn also starts dance this week! I am super excited about dance, but there is just ONE teeeeeny tiny hitch.... the same day that Ardyn starts dance? I have my first colonoscopy and EGD (upper scope.) Yay me! If you've been reading (have I talked about this on blog or just facebook?) I have
had these horrible attacks that at first we thought were gallbladder, but two ER visits, a fabulous one-night and two-day stay in the hospital, and bloodwork, Gallbladder Ultrasound, HIDA (nuclear medicine) scan, and a Abdominal CT with contrast later.... they think I have Crohn's or IBS. The specialist is leaning towards Crohn's wholeheartedly. And I have had a few attacks since being out of the hospital, the latest being about 24 hours long in which I thought I might alternately die, poop myself to death, or belch up an intestine. Yep. Good times. And this attack lasted 24 hours WITH double doses of Pepcid around the clock, a single dose of Prilosec (I was desperate) about 10 thousand TUMS, and a prescription Opiate painkiller. Yep. Still painful. That's the kind of pain we are talking. WTF.So this Wednesday, I get to start my day by taking Ardyn to school. Then I get to take both kids and all their gear to my mom's, then I get to return home to a house full of contractors, and then I get to commence my first meal of the day, which will consist of.... wait for it.... ONE GALLON of liquid laxative. Yep. That's right. Those of you who have never had a colonoscopy.... don't be shy. Read alllllll about it. ONE Gallon of liquid laxative. No meals. limited liquid diet. You know what the GE's office staff said "You probably shouldn't make any plans that day." Um, ya think? Are there people who think they are going to drink a gallon of laxative and still make plans? Oh my. So they actually also told me that "we have several patients who say it's better to just take the gallon into the bathroom and drink it there." Yep. Can't wait. Did I mention I've decided I can't be responsible for my kids that day? And that I told my husband that he will wait on my hand
and foot, even if that means replenishing toilet paper? I am so not going through this alone. Someday he will have to do this. I vow that he will. And then, after drinking half of my gallon of laxative, I get to drift off into a peaceful sleep. And then wake up at 4am to start drinking the other half, which I must have drank before my morning appointment, and when I am FINALLY done with that gallon, I get to take not ONE, but TWO ducolax prescription laxative pills. Yep. Because I am sure there will still be some scary poo hiding in there somewhere. After 24 hours of no food and a gallon of laxative. Surely. I mean, these doctor's are SPECIALISTS. This is what they do for a living. Don't tell me that they don't see some poo here and there? But I have to top it all off with laxative tablets. Not one. Two. (okay, ending my rant)So. Let's see how my week is shaping up.
1. Setup for MOPS kickoff meeting, finalize papers and decorations, make copies, etc.
2. Clean off half of front porch and stuff crap in an unnoticeable corner.
3. MOPS Kickoff meeting
4. Sleep
5. Take Ardyn to school
6. Come Home and pack kids things for two days with Grandma and Auntie.
6a. House inundated with construction work. Marek screaming and biting my legs whilst cleverly unpacking everything I pack.
7. Pick up Ardyn from school
8. Take kids and their Krap to Grandma's
9. Come home to half-a-front porch and start drinking my laxative
10. Poo a l0t, hope bathroom exhaust fan doesn't transfer smell to roofers and knock them off the house.
11. try to sleep.
12. Poo some more.
13. try to sleep.
14. Angrily wake-up before the sun
15. Drink More Laxative
16. Poooooooo
17. Take two ducolax
18. Poooooooo to the noise of construction starting all over again.
19. Head to hospital and hope I don't poop my pants on the way there.
20. Register.
21. Get put into hospital gown and under anesthesia.
22. Swallow Scope.
23. Hope I don't know what happens when they "turn the bed around" (the nurse's exact words)
24. Recover
25. Dress
26. Get Driven Home
27. Get Waited on Hand and Foot
28. Hope that I want to eat again sometime
29. Somehow get the children home and take Ardyn to her first dance class.
30. Start thinking about when to have poor child's birthday party that I have halfway finished.
30a-30e. Finish Pinata. Finish Invitations. Finish Decorations. Mail Invitations. Bake and Decorate Cupcakes.
So, anyone want to trade weeks with me?
Remember that I said don't let me volunteer for anything. I mean that. Can I make myself clearer?
Goodnight!
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Updating from the Hospital
Well, tonight I am blogging from the hospital! Yep. Don't fret, I feel just fine. It's nice and quiet here and I just ate an entire meal without being harassed or interrupted. I have wireless internet, my laptop, my hard drive, my cell phone, and my iPod. I have crochet. I have removed the velcro from a whole stack of BGOS diapers, and I am drinking Cinnamon Apple Tea. What hotel is this you ask? LOL. Well, it started out being another "attack" at about 6:30 this morning and by noon I had scheduled a HIDA scan (Nuclear Med injection that is then watched on Xray to see how gallbladder is functioning) and bloodwork and a urinalysis. I was splitting my time between the bathroom and the couch at home and eventually it just got worse and I decided I was going to the hospital to get some pain meds or something to relieve the pain and that I was going to ask them to admit me and figure out what is wrong. Not too long after being in the ER they had already put in an IV for fluids and given me an antinausea drug that helped immediately. It also made me verrrry sleepy. I was already very tired, so it was a good deal. I slept in the ER until they took me upstairs, and then I slept the whole way upstairs. I know this place by heart so I knew with each bump where we were rolling too next. Once I got into my room I got settled and slept right till 5pm when Evan and the nurse walked in the door. I have felt fine since then, and have consulted with the surgeon and also gotten permission to eat. I was so hungry! I devoured chicken noodle soup, mashed potatoes, applesauce, and a fruit plate with yogurt. I hadn't eaten in about 24 hours.
As of n0w, the general consensus is that the problem is likely NOT my gallbladder but perhaps some type of bowel irritation, whether it be IBS or another inflammation. They mentioned Crohn's, but only long enough to tell me that while it seems like the symptoms are similar, it likely is not. Fasting after midnight and then an early wake-up with a HIDA scan in the morning. Then I will eat breakfast and depending on how well the scan goes, I will be able to go home tomorrow. The surgeon thinks that the best course of action next is a double scope (colonoscopy and upper scope too.) and that will be done as a follow up procedure after I meet with the gastroenterologist.
I have been using this time to rest and get some sleep, and also to do a few things while I have some peace and quiet. Mom brought me some clothes in case I get released tomorrow, and also my laptop and hard drive, so I can do some work and be online.
So that's the scoop so far. Not sure what exactly I have going on but am certainly on the track to figure it out I hope. I am feeling sleepy again, and can't believe it's already 8pm, but again, can't believe it's ONLY 8pm. Strange.
As of n0w, the general consensus is that the problem is likely NOT my gallbladder but perhaps some type of bowel irritation, whether it be IBS or another inflammation. They mentioned Crohn's, but only long enough to tell me that while it seems like the symptoms are similar, it likely is not. Fasting after midnight and then an early wake-up with a HIDA scan in the morning. Then I will eat breakfast and depending on how well the scan goes, I will be able to go home tomorrow. The surgeon thinks that the best course of action next is a double scope (colonoscopy and upper scope too.) and that will be done as a follow up procedure after I meet with the gastroenterologist.
I have been using this time to rest and get some sleep, and also to do a few things while I have some peace and quiet. Mom brought me some clothes in case I get released tomorrow, and also my laptop and hard drive, so I can do some work and be online.
So that's the scoop so far. Not sure what exactly I have going on but am certainly on the track to figure it out I hope. I am feeling sleepy again, and can't believe it's already 8pm, but again, can't believe it's ONLY 8pm. Strange.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Showered and Sewn
I should *so* be in bed right now. It's almost 1am (early for me, that's what you're thinking.... I can see it in your eyes!) but tomorrow Ardyn and I have a come and go bridal shower in the morning for my "soon-to-be" sister-in-law Bekah. STBSIL. Did you get that? I am excited about it. We should have a great time. What's really cool about Bekah? Well, I have known her since she was a wee little girl. In fact, she was in my sister's class. She used to spend the night at our house every New Year's Eve. And her birthday is New Year's Day. Cool. She will be an excellent aunt. She keeps Evan's brother in line. I love her and the kids love her ;) We are blessed.
I bought a dress to wear. Well, actually, my Kohl's Cash bought a dress. I am this strange size between a misses XL and a Women's 1X. Basically, my boobs require a 1X in some cases, but then the 1X is generally too large everywhere else. This is a stretchy silky dress, and it has a belt at empire level. Really the dress is a bit too big, but since the breast area is sufficient, I figured I can work with it. In fact, the belt is an elastic 80's style belt. Wide with a metal clasp in the front. And I had to take 6" off the belt to even get it to fit without stretching it at all. Who MAKES these clothes? I am not skinny. But I sure feel like I am when I have to take all that off a belt. So basically because I can sew, I just cut the belt off the clasp and will sew it back on. it's all ready to go. But I can't bring myself to sew it. I need to put the black thread on the machine, and sit down, and run a quick stitch to tack it into place. And I am too lazy. I will curse myself at 9am when I am late. But it's a come and go shower. But I would rather be there the whole time to take pictures. We got a little gift from Ardyn for Bekah. Ardyn is her flower girl. I can't wait for Ardyn to give it to her, because Ardyn decorated the paper herself with markers. It's cute. At least I think so.
I have lots of worthwhile things to say, but I also just realized that in addition to cleaning off my bed BEFORE I can sleep, I also have to make a card for each of the gifts and sew that belt and be at the shower by 9am. Shit. Probably not going to happen. *sigh*
Goodnight!
I bought a dress to wear. Well, actually, my Kohl's Cash bought a dress. I am this strange size between a misses XL and a Women's 1X. Basically, my boobs require a 1X in some cases, but then the 1X is generally too large everywhere else. This is a stretchy silky dress, and it has a belt at empire level. Really the dress is a bit too big, but since the breast area is sufficient, I figured I can work with it. In fact, the belt is an elastic 80's style belt. Wide with a metal clasp in the front. And I had to take 6" off the belt to even get it to fit without stretching it at all. Who MAKES these clothes? I am not skinny. But I sure feel like I am when I have to take all that off a belt. So basically because I can sew, I just cut the belt off the clasp and will sew it back on. it's all ready to go. But I can't bring myself to sew it. I need to put the black thread on the machine, and sit down, and run a quick stitch to tack it into place. And I am too lazy. I will curse myself at 9am when I am late. But it's a come and go shower. But I would rather be there the whole time to take pictures. We got a little gift from Ardyn for Bekah. Ardyn is her flower girl. I can't wait for Ardyn to give it to her, because Ardyn decorated the paper herself with markers. It's cute. At least I think so.
I have lots of worthwhile things to say, but I also just realized that in addition to cleaning off my bed BEFORE I can sleep, I also have to make a card for each of the gifts and sew that belt and be at the shower by 9am. Shit. Probably not going to happen. *sigh*
Goodnight!
Monday, August 09, 2010
Just to be on the Safe Side...
I should not be awake. I should not be awake. I should not be awake!
I have been doing so well, getting to sleep between 10-11pm for the past several nights. I am trying to get myself on a schedule that will work well with back to school, but right now it pretty much means a schedule in which I don't get to spend time with my kids as much during the day because I am busy trying to accomplish things that I would regularly do after they go to sleep.
Marek was up at 5:30 today, and Ardyn by 8:15. The day before Marek was up at 6 and Ardyn at 7. This might kill me. I just want everyone to know that. If I die, it's because I had to get up before 9am. I do really miss my late nights... er.... early mornings. But what I really want is to go to bed early AND wake up when I want. Not everyday, just ONCE?! Please?
Today was an insanely productive day, but overall it really felt good. I was up so early that I was working on things like the MOPS Website, and some other MOPS Documents, and doing some organizing, communicating, and brainstorming for the upcoming MOPS year. I am thrilled to be a part of the Steering Team this year, and as Discussion Group Leader, I really hope that I can encourage moms to open up and use each other as a resource.
This afternoon I went to have my first mammogram. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer at 40, during her baseline mammo. The "rule" is that you should have a baseline done 10 years prior to the age your mother was diagnosed. I should have gone at 30, but I have been pregnant and/or breastfeeding since I was 28. I decided that because Marek is almost weaned, I really wanted to be proactive and push to get this done. The mammo itself was NOT painful at all. And I really do mean AT ALL. I wasn't even worried about that part of it, because Marek often steps on them, or of course bites them, and so I have a really high pain tolerance when it comes to that, and I also am pretty desensitized. Plus, the more you have, the less it tends to hurt, and I have enough to go around. And around again.
The only uncomfortable part was when I was told that there was a mass showing up in my left breast, and that I would need an ultrasound to determine more about it. I did begin to worry a bit. Not alot, because I knew it could be anything, but yes, I was worrying. Then I got the ultrasound, and sure enough, I could see the mass on the US, and see the tech measure it, and I was a little more nervous. Especially because the "mass" was exactly over a spot that I had just begun to feel about two weeks ago. But the mass was so hard, that it actually felt like bone. The only thing that made me worry that it wasn't bone, was the fact that I didn't have a matching mass on the opposite side. Now, I know that someone is saying "you don't have bones in your boobies!" but it is actually under my arm, on my side, right where the breast tissue meets that bone that runs down your side, right under where your underwire would be. When I felt the "mass" myself, I didn't panic because I knew I already had the Mammo scheduled, and I thought it could have been more of a sore spot due to this weaning thing he has been doing, and because it was so hard that it felt like bone or a calcification of some type.
So when they said they saw a mass on the mammo, I didn't really even remember at first that I had ever felt anything, because I really did NOT think it was anything. Of course, once she started to do the ultrasound, and the mass showed up right where I had felt that hard spot, I was like.... oh no. And then when she sent the images to the radiologist and came back in saying that he wanted to SEE her do the ultrasound for a closer look, I remember thinking.... I can NOT have cancer right now. Isn't that amazing how your mindset thinks? Not "I can't have cancer" because I think I have no control over that, but "I can't have cancer NOW." Why now? Because I have two very small beings that I am completely and totally responsible for. I can NOT be sick. I can NOT. I started to really stress and I decided that really, if it was something, it was already there. There was absolutely nothing that I could do. And so, I closed my eyes and prayed. And then I prayed some more. And then the radiologist came in, and we did the ultrasound for a third time (she had already done it a second time while waiting for him, to make sure she could find it again easily, which of course she could) and then the radiologist told us that it was a cyst and that he is "pretty sure" about that. And we talked about what I should watch for and when I should follow up. I am looking forward to discussing it with my midwife tomorrow, to hear her thoughts on a follow up time. 6 months would make me feel better than 1 year, unless it grows. Because it is so easy for me to feel, I would think that I would be aware of growth fairly easily. I am not completely convinced that it might not be related to weaning.
So. One thing I forgot to mention.... On my way to the hospital I was driving up main street and the car in front of me decided to park. To my astonishment and shock, instead of pulling right into the parking space, they pulled in, and then accelerated quickly (gas instead of brake?) up over the sidewalk and right into the front of the old Ragamuffins/Green River books store (which luckily is empty!) It was a scary sight, but amazingly there was a county police officer parked IN his car, just two spaces away, and he saw the entire thing and was there instantly.
After my appointment I went to Hallmark to pick up some wrapping paper to add to my diminished stash, and to look for black curling ribbon. Which they did not have. But I did buy a few more colors, and a birthday card for my dad. Then I went to get gas, and some lunch, and headed home to relieve my mom. The kids and I played around home a bit, and I worked on some more MOPS things, cutting out popcorn on the cricut for an upcoming project, and responding to messages from other steering team members. Marek and Ardyn spent some time in peals of laughter over the silliest things, which I absolutely adore. Then we got dressed and Marek and I took Ardyn to VBS, which was super exciting. I was nervous to leave her, because she still doesn't really get the concept of not just getting up and walking away. When I left, I told her that she was to sit by her friend Kelsea (who is a year older) and that she was not to leave without Kelsea (because I knew Kelsea would not leave) and then I left. Ardyn gave Marek and I each a kiss goodbye. It was too sweet. Marek grinned from ear to ear.
While Evan and I waited for daddy to come home, I worked in the kitchen a bit and Marek discovered dancing and sliding on the coffee table in his socks, which was incredibly clever of him, and very "Risky Business" - but in the end landed him in time out because I knew that no matter how cute it was, it was going to end badly sometime sooner than later.
When Evan got home we all put on more respectable clothes and went to pick up Ardyn at VBS and then went to Culver's for a late supper. I had to eat fat free because I have bloodwork in the morning and have to have a 12 hour fast. I am assuming that this is also going to be testing my cholesterol, which I am NOT excited about, because I just know that my triglycerides will be high. Especially since a busy mom of two has a hard time eating "healthy" and really sometimes forgets to eat at all. Although I have been eating alot of salad lately... so I guess we will see. Ardyn cracked us up at supper, she started telling me about her "safe side adults" which I was FLOORED to hear. A LONG time ago, about when Marek was born, I bought her the Safe Side DVD that talks about strangers and safety and is made by America's Most Wanted and Missing and Exploited Children. She watched it once when she was less than 2, but I could tell she was bored and didn't get it. Then last night, I had put it in in the van to see what would happen, and she spent the next 15 minutes throwing a hysterical fit because she wanted to watch BARNYARD. I wasn't sure she heard any of it, let alone was able to retain or understand it. She only watched 15 minutes before we were at our destination and changed the DVD to Cinderella. But tonight at supper, she proceeded to describe to me WHO her safe side adults were, and told me that she would draw a safe side circle around herself and yell for Mommy and Daddy if she were in trouble. Then we proceeded to discuss some "Kinda know" people that she might think were safe, but really were NOT safe. I was so shocked that she retained all that! And Understood! Thank GOD for that. So on the way home tonight we stopped at Walmart so I could grab a few things and the kids stayed in the car with daddy watching the Safe Side DVD. Let's see what she remembers tomorrrow?
I have so many things to blog about, three of them being product reviews. Stay tuned and I will get to them! I hope to remember to take my laptop tomorrow when I am out and about and get some things typed up!
I have been doing so well, getting to sleep between 10-11pm for the past several nights. I am trying to get myself on a schedule that will work well with back to school, but right now it pretty much means a schedule in which I don't get to spend time with my kids as much during the day because I am busy trying to accomplish things that I would regularly do after they go to sleep.
Marek was up at 5:30 today, and Ardyn by 8:15. The day before Marek was up at 6 and Ardyn at 7. This might kill me. I just want everyone to know that. If I die, it's because I had to get up before 9am. I do really miss my late nights... er.... early mornings. But what I really want is to go to bed early AND wake up when I want. Not everyday, just ONCE?! Please?
Today was an insanely productive day, but overall it really felt good. I was up so early that I was working on things like the MOPS Website, and some other MOPS Documents, and doing some organizing, communicating, and brainstorming for the upcoming MOPS year. I am thrilled to be a part of the Steering Team this year, and as Discussion Group Leader, I really hope that I can encourage moms to open up and use each other as a resource.
This afternoon I went to have my first mammogram. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer at 40, during her baseline mammo. The "rule" is that you should have a baseline done 10 years prior to the age your mother was diagnosed. I should have gone at 30, but I have been pregnant and/or breastfeeding since I was 28. I decided that because Marek is almost weaned, I really wanted to be proactive and push to get this done. The mammo itself was NOT painful at all. And I really do mean AT ALL. I wasn't even worried about that part of it, because Marek often steps on them, or of course bites them, and so I have a really high pain tolerance when it comes to that, and I also am pretty desensitized. Plus, the more you have, the less it tends to hurt, and I have enough to go around. And around again.
The only uncomfortable part was when I was told that there was a mass showing up in my left breast, and that I would need an ultrasound to determine more about it. I did begin to worry a bit. Not alot, because I knew it could be anything, but yes, I was worrying. Then I got the ultrasound, and sure enough, I could see the mass on the US, and see the tech measure it, and I was a little more nervous. Especially because the "mass" was exactly over a spot that I had just begun to feel about two weeks ago. But the mass was so hard, that it actually felt like bone. The only thing that made me worry that it wasn't bone, was the fact that I didn't have a matching mass on the opposite side. Now, I know that someone is saying "you don't have bones in your boobies!" but it is actually under my arm, on my side, right where the breast tissue meets that bone that runs down your side, right under where your underwire would be. When I felt the "mass" myself, I didn't panic because I knew I already had the Mammo scheduled, and I thought it could have been more of a sore spot due to this weaning thing he has been doing, and because it was so hard that it felt like bone or a calcification of some type.
So when they said they saw a mass on the mammo, I didn't really even remember at first that I had ever felt anything, because I really did NOT think it was anything. Of course, once she started to do the ultrasound, and the mass showed up right where I had felt that hard spot, I was like.... oh no. And then when she sent the images to the radiologist and came back in saying that he wanted to SEE her do the ultrasound for a closer look, I remember thinking.... I can NOT have cancer right now. Isn't that amazing how your mindset thinks? Not "I can't have cancer" because I think I have no control over that, but "I can't have cancer NOW." Why now? Because I have two very small beings that I am completely and totally responsible for. I can NOT be sick. I can NOT. I started to really stress and I decided that really, if it was something, it was already there. There was absolutely nothing that I could do. And so, I closed my eyes and prayed. And then I prayed some more. And then the radiologist came in, and we did the ultrasound for a third time (she had already done it a second time while waiting for him, to make sure she could find it again easily, which of course she could) and then the radiologist told us that it was a cyst and that he is "pretty sure" about that. And we talked about what I should watch for and when I should follow up. I am looking forward to discussing it with my midwife tomorrow, to hear her thoughts on a follow up time. 6 months would make me feel better than 1 year, unless it grows. Because it is so easy for me to feel, I would think that I would be aware of growth fairly easily. I am not completely convinced that it might not be related to weaning.
So. One thing I forgot to mention.... On my way to the hospital I was driving up main street and the car in front of me decided to park. To my astonishment and shock, instead of pulling right into the parking space, they pulled in, and then accelerated quickly (gas instead of brake?) up over the sidewalk and right into the front of the old Ragamuffins/Green River books store (which luckily is empty!) It was a scary sight, but amazingly there was a county police officer parked IN his car, just two spaces away, and he saw the entire thing and was there instantly.
After my appointment I went to Hallmark to pick up some wrapping paper to add to my diminished stash, and to look for black curling ribbon. Which they did not have. But I did buy a few more colors, and a birthday card for my dad. Then I went to get gas, and some lunch, and headed home to relieve my mom. The kids and I played around home a bit, and I worked on some more MOPS things, cutting out popcorn on the cricut for an upcoming project, and responding to messages from other steering team members. Marek and Ardyn spent some time in peals of laughter over the silliest things, which I absolutely adore. Then we got dressed and Marek and I took Ardyn to VBS, which was super exciting. I was nervous to leave her, because she still doesn't really get the concept of not just getting up and walking away. When I left, I told her that she was to sit by her friend Kelsea (who is a year older) and that she was not to leave without Kelsea (because I knew Kelsea would not leave) and then I left. Ardyn gave Marek and I each a kiss goodbye. It was too sweet. Marek grinned from ear to ear.
While Evan and I waited for daddy to come home, I worked in the kitchen a bit and Marek discovered dancing and sliding on the coffee table in his socks, which was incredibly clever of him, and very "Risky Business" - but in the end landed him in time out because I knew that no matter how cute it was, it was going to end badly sometime sooner than later.
When Evan got home we all put on more respectable clothes and went to pick up Ardyn at VBS and then went to Culver's for a late supper. I had to eat fat free because I have bloodwork in the morning and have to have a 12 hour fast. I am assuming that this is also going to be testing my cholesterol, which I am NOT excited about, because I just know that my triglycerides will be high. Especially since a busy mom of two has a hard time eating "healthy" and really sometimes forgets to eat at all. Although I have been eating alot of salad lately... so I guess we will see. Ardyn cracked us up at supper, she started telling me about her "safe side adults" which I was FLOORED to hear. A LONG time ago, about when Marek was born, I bought her the Safe Side DVD that talks about strangers and safety and is made by America's Most Wanted and Missing and Exploited Children. She watched it once when she was less than 2, but I could tell she was bored and didn't get it. Then last night, I had put it in in the van to see what would happen, and she spent the next 15 minutes throwing a hysterical fit because she wanted to watch BARNYARD. I wasn't sure she heard any of it, let alone was able to retain or understand it. She only watched 15 minutes before we were at our destination and changed the DVD to Cinderella. But tonight at supper, she proceeded to describe to me WHO her safe side adults were, and told me that she would draw a safe side circle around herself and yell for Mommy and Daddy if she were in trouble. Then we proceeded to discuss some "Kinda know" people that she might think were safe, but really were NOT safe. I was so shocked that she retained all that! And Understood! Thank GOD for that. So on the way home tonight we stopped at Walmart so I could grab a few things and the kids stayed in the car with daddy watching the Safe Side DVD. Let's see what she remembers tomorrrow?
I have so many things to blog about, three of them being product reviews. Stay tuned and I will get to them! I hope to remember to take my laptop tomorrow when I am out and about and get some things typed up!
5 years ago today....
Evan and I were married in Vancouver, British Columbia- yes CANADA! :)
We got married in Stanley Park, just below Ferguson Point, between second and third beaches. The only "guests" were our photographers and official witnesses, Chris and Lynn Jaksa, and our wedding officiant, Karen Ell. The ceremony was perfect, the weather was gorgeous, and the tide came in while we were all occupied with more important things. It's a day I will never forget, and I can't believe that it was 5 years ago, and that we have been together 14 years this October. We were just saying tonight how shocked we are that Ardyn is almost 3 and it won't be too much longer till Marek is a solid two-year-old!
You can view all the wedding, honeymoon, bridal shower, and reception pictures here ;)
We got married in Stanley Park, just below Ferguson Point, between second and third beaches. The only "guests" were our photographers and official witnesses, Chris and Lynn Jaksa, and our wedding officiant, Karen Ell. The ceremony was perfect, the weather was gorgeous, and the tide came in while we were all occupied with more important things. It's a day I will never forget, and I can't believe that it was 5 years ago, and that we have been together 14 years this October. We were just saying tonight how shocked we are that Ardyn is almost 3 and it won't be too much longer till Marek is a solid two-year-old!
You can view all the wedding, honeymoon, bridal shower, and reception pictures here ;)
Monday, August 02, 2010
My brain is feeling full!
It is a BEAUTIFUL night for a walk. It's cooling down nicely and it looks like it could rain soon, but at the same time, I just know that I should be out there. Unfortunately the kids both just went to sleep?! Yep, it's 6:41pm and they just went to sleep. I don't think it's really bedtime, because neither of them are in diapers ready to handle overnight, and Ardyn is in my bed, and neither of them have had supper... but it's certainly sleeping nonetheless. They have had a REALLY good day today, with very minimal fighting and lots of laughing and carrying on and playing together. And then suddenly at 6pm it all started to fall apart. Believe it or not this time it was Marek! He has been really bad lately with the pinching, biting, and hair pulling. Oh and scratching. Sometimes it's like a love bite or a teething bite, and other times it's a full-on trying to eat your face off bite.
Tonight I was repeatedly catching him attacking Ardyn for no reason, and when the meltdowns really started, he walked right up to her and sunk his teeth.... into her butt. Poor kiddo. She did the silent horrible cry and when she finally took a breath she said that she was BLEEDING and I checked her bum and she was okay, not even actual teethmarks, but I am sure it hurt more than just her pride nonetheless. I have been trying all kinds of things to get him to stop, and I think now it's time to go back to timeouts with no warnings. That's what the pediatrician recommended, but he doesn't GET time outs and he actually kinda likes them. A smack on the hand seems to get his attention, and so does a swat on his heavily diapered butt... but it never stops him from going right back at it later. He often sinks his teeth into me for no reason, and yesterday I ended up biting him back because he caught me totally by surprise again and bit me HARD. He cried and cried and then just fell asleep. I think it's a phase and that as he learns to speak and express himself better I am hoping that it will lessen.
Anyway, I seem to have plenty going on right now, and am head over heels into Ardyn's Birthday planning. I finally narrowed the guest list down to 23 two-four year old girls (oh boy, right!?) and found a park and reserved a shelter. I've spent the last couple of days testing out the Make a Cut software to make Strawberry Shortcake Invitations on the Cricut. It is coming along nicely and I am sorely regretting not purchasing it sooner. Marek could have had Scooby Doo Invites. Poor deprived little child!
This morning I finished all the cutting out and put one Strawberry Shortcake head together. The front layer of the card looks like it will consist of anywhere from 15-17 pieces. Her facial features will be done by hand with fine tipped marker pens and chalks. When I got cricut burnout, I made us lunch and then switched modes and started the pinata... making a paper mache strawberry has so far been a TON of fun. I still have to put two more layers of newspaper on it, but I think it's gonna be cool. Then I will paint it and then tissue paper it ;) I am so excited to see how it turns out. I may cut little "seeds" out of black paper on the cricut to attach to the finished strawberry. We'll see. Oh and I am also making little lollipop boxes that convert lollipops to strawberries. I cut all those out too and will assemble them once I find some delicious suckers.
And then also on my mind is "back to school" which for us will be the first ever school year for Ardyn. I was thinking all along that it really isn't that big of a deal, after all she's just going to half day preschool twice a week. But then I realized, that she is still growing up so fast (she's still 2, I know you are laughing at me) and that once she starts school, she will just keep going. For what seems like forever. She will go to school as long as she is in my care. This summer and school thing is going to continue for a LONG time. She has new clothes and socks and underwear (birthday gifts) so that is covered, she has her backpack, and that's really about all you need when you don't eat lunch at school or take school supplies. I have fabric here to make her two fall jackets (I hope that happens soon!)
She also starts dance this fall, which is right at the same time as preschool, and her dance stuff is all ready and packed. All that's left is to label everything, and today my new name labels for her arrived from Twisted Sticker and they are adorable! I can't wait to try them out and write a review of them. This isn't your average kids' sticker company... Thank GOD! Do we need another girl in the school system with a princess crown on all of her belongings? Or another boy with dinosaur and choo-choo labels? Oy.
My plans to freeze 10 pounds of hamburger and make a fabulous supper were foiled tonight, due to the unexpected (but oh so fabulous and regular) jamming of our garbage disposal, which this time didn't just clog but also backed up in the other sink. So now I have two sinks full of stinky green chunky water, with floating pieces of broccoli, rice, and whatever else gross things might be in that concoction. And that brings... Fruit flies! I hate those darn things and no matter what vinegar or trap or fly paper I use, you never really get RID of them. They just move on somewhere else and you don't know they are there until you go to say get a banana or a potato and discover those nasty little beasties have been feasting and hiding there all along. I read online where someone said to put a banana peel in your microwave and leave the door open a bit. Then a while later, close the door and *zap*. Rinse repeat. LOL
Tonight might be a good night for takeout.
Tonight I was repeatedly catching him attacking Ardyn for no reason, and when the meltdowns really started, he walked right up to her and sunk his teeth.... into her butt. Poor kiddo. She did the silent horrible cry and when she finally took a breath she said that she was BLEEDING and I checked her bum and she was okay, not even actual teethmarks, but I am sure it hurt more than just her pride nonetheless. I have been trying all kinds of things to get him to stop, and I think now it's time to go back to timeouts with no warnings. That's what the pediatrician recommended, but he doesn't GET time outs and he actually kinda likes them. A smack on the hand seems to get his attention, and so does a swat on his heavily diapered butt... but it never stops him from going right back at it later. He often sinks his teeth into me for no reason, and yesterday I ended up biting him back because he caught me totally by surprise again and bit me HARD. He cried and cried and then just fell asleep. I think it's a phase and that as he learns to speak and express himself better I am hoping that it will lessen.
Anyway, I seem to have plenty going on right now, and am head over heels into Ardyn's Birthday planning. I finally narrowed the guest list down to 23 two-four year old girls (oh boy, right!?) and found a park and reserved a shelter. I've spent the last couple of days testing out the Make a Cut software to make Strawberry Shortcake Invitations on the Cricut. It is coming along nicely and I am sorely regretting not purchasing it sooner. Marek could have had Scooby Doo Invites. Poor deprived little child!
This morning I finished all the cutting out and put one Strawberry Shortcake head together. The front layer of the card looks like it will consist of anywhere from 15-17 pieces. Her facial features will be done by hand with fine tipped marker pens and chalks. When I got cricut burnout, I made us lunch and then switched modes and started the pinata... making a paper mache strawberry has so far been a TON of fun. I still have to put two more layers of newspaper on it, but I think it's gonna be cool. Then I will paint it and then tissue paper it ;) I am so excited to see how it turns out. I may cut little "seeds" out of black paper on the cricut to attach to the finished strawberry. We'll see. Oh and I am also making little lollipop boxes that convert lollipops to strawberries. I cut all those out too and will assemble them once I find some delicious suckers.
And then also on my mind is "back to school" which for us will be the first ever school year for Ardyn. I was thinking all along that it really isn't that big of a deal, after all she's just going to half day preschool twice a week. But then I realized, that she is still growing up so fast (she's still 2, I know you are laughing at me) and that once she starts school, she will just keep going. For what seems like forever. She will go to school as long as she is in my care. This summer and school thing is going to continue for a LONG time. She has new clothes and socks and underwear (birthday gifts) so that is covered, she has her backpack, and that's really about all you need when you don't eat lunch at school or take school supplies. I have fabric here to make her two fall jackets (I hope that happens soon!)
She also starts dance this fall, which is right at the same time as preschool, and her dance stuff is all ready and packed. All that's left is to label everything, and today my new name labels for her arrived from Twisted Sticker and they are adorable! I can't wait to try them out and write a review of them. This isn't your average kids' sticker company... Thank GOD! Do we need another girl in the school system with a princess crown on all of her belongings? Or another boy with dinosaur and choo-choo labels? Oy.
My plans to freeze 10 pounds of hamburger and make a fabulous supper were foiled tonight, due to the unexpected (but oh so fabulous and regular) jamming of our garbage disposal, which this time didn't just clog but also backed up in the other sink. So now I have two sinks full of stinky green chunky water, with floating pieces of broccoli, rice, and whatever else gross things might be in that concoction. And that brings... Fruit flies! I hate those darn things and no matter what vinegar or trap or fly paper I use, you never really get RID of them. They just move on somewhere else and you don't know they are there until you go to say get a banana or a potato and discover those nasty little beasties have been feasting and hiding there all along. I read online where someone said to put a banana peel in your microwave and leave the door open a bit. Then a while later, close the door and *zap*. Rinse repeat. LOL
Tonight might be a good night for takeout.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Soapy
I keep putting off ordering my supplies for soapmaking. Just to get started, I know it's going to run me just over $100 (just for my ingredients.) Because I don't intend to make a business out of it, I feel guilty spending that much money. BUT I know that I will be able to control the ingredients, making a much safer and healthier (not to mention more beneficial) product for my family. I also know that the large amount of soap that I will be able to make with that initial investment is worth it. I almost had myself convinced tonight, until I saw the $22 shipping charge. And I just. Couldn't. Do it. I recently got a digital scale, the immersion blender, and a pyrex mixing cup large enough for my lye mixing.... but I still need the lye, oils, and goggles. The initial investment doesn't include any molds because I will use pringles cans to start out with.... but I have an 18 bar mold in mind and am telling myself that I can make it myself. If I can sew, I can certainly woodcraft, right? I keep telling myself that Mary Jane Butters is right on, and that since I bought myself a new drill, there is NO REASON that I can't own my own circular hand saw. I think that the most important thing is confidence, and being comfortable with your tools. I can do this, right?
The other dilema that I have, involves Goat's Milk. I really would love to be making Goat's Milk soap. The obvious problem is that I do not have any GOATS. lol. Goat's Milk has always been ideal for my eczema in the winter especially, and it's what I use right now and have been using for months and months. But when I make my own, I don't have access to the goat's milk. I know just how hard raw goat's milk can be to find.
I wish I could blog longer tonight, because these were just excerpts from my brain, but I have to get the diapers washed and dried and folded and put away before 9:30 am (and it's midnight now) and I also need to sleep sometime ;)
The other dilema that I have, involves Goat's Milk. I really would love to be making Goat's Milk soap. The obvious problem is that I do not have any GOATS. lol. Goat's Milk has always been ideal for my eczema in the winter especially, and it's what I use right now and have been using for months and months. But when I make my own, I don't have access to the goat's milk. I know just how hard raw goat's milk can be to find.
I wish I could blog longer tonight, because these were just excerpts from my brain, but I have to get the diapers washed and dried and folded and put away before 9:30 am (and it's midnight now) and I also need to sleep sometime ;)
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
I've been Mis-Diagnosed!
I am so relieved. My mental illness has FINALLY been properly diagnosed. All these years I have lived in fear, thinking that I have OCD. It's actually NOT OCD that I suffer from, on the contrary, it's an often un-recognized disease that seems to mostly affect stay-at-home moms across the country. Really across the world. I don't know how it took so long to diagnose! I have OCU! That's right! COMPLETELY different from OCD! Yet the effects of OCU can often lead you to THINK that you have OCD! The confusion is understandable. OCU is the Overwhelming Choking Urge. Get your minds out of the gutter folks. It's that daily inner struggle that I fight.... the overwhelming urge to choke someone. Really they considered calling it OSU, but they didn't want to get it confused with Ohio State, which we all know is a very peaceful and non-violent school....just ask the wimpy OSU graduates you know (oh! BURN! JP are you hearing this?!)
Really, over the years, I am coming to realize that I am just fighting a losing battle. the OCU is not going to go away. Allow me to give you a few examples.... causes if you will... of this dreaded disease.
1. CAUSE: *someone* drinks the last 7-up in the fridge. They do NOT replace it with the brand new case of 7-up that is on the back porch that was supposed to be carried down to the basement fridge three days ago. They also put the empty cardboard carton on the basement floor next to the fridge... not in the recycle pile. EFFECT: When I decided that I can have my pop of the day, I get to the fridge and there is none. I have to go back up the stairs, get the case off the porch, take it down, put it in the fridge, and then take the empty cardboard back up to the recycle. Resulting in.... OCU.... the overwhelming urge to choke *someone!*
2. CAUSE: *someone* leaves the toilet paper roll on the side of the sink. *someone else* goes in to wash their hands and gets water ALL OVER the vanity surface, resulting in a pool that the toilet paper roll then soaks up like a wick. EFFECT: I have to pee. I finally find a second to run to the bathroom (most likely about 3 hours after I first recognize that I need to go) and when I need to wipe, the entire bottom half of the toilet paper is wrinkly and wet, resulting in .... OCU.... the overwhelming urge to choke *someone!*
Do you see where this is going? To an outside observer, this looks like classic OCD. I am cranky because the toilet paper roll wasn't where I wanted it to be. I am cranky because the pop isn't where I wanted it to be. This just means that I have a problem, Right? I want things my way? I want things put back in the place and manner that I have designated, for what appears to be no apparent reason except for the fact that I want things MY way? Right? WRONG. What we really have here is a mis-diagnosis. Classic, really. It's underlying OCU causing all the problems. It's the people in the house not being considerate of others. It starts small, and manifests into a huge huge huge issue, not to be ignored.
More examples....
If you are responsible for the children, and take them off with you, the honorable thing to do when you get home? remove the dirty diapers from the diaper bag and put them in the diaper pail. Rocket Science? I think not. This is just something that us moms know how to do. It's something that anyone CAN do. But when you don't do it, and we find them two days later, usually just AFTER we washed diapers, and the whole diaper bag stinks.... well, that causes OCU. Same thing with rinsing out bottles of milk or sippy cups. Not rocket science.
If you pee your pants, and you take yourself to the potty and wipe and close the lid and flush... can't you handle putting the wet panties in the hamper? Not rocket science. You've been taught. When someone's watching you do this, you automatically put them in the hamper like it's nothing. I know you're three, but stepping on wet underwear in random locations is not my idea of a good time.
Okay, I am ranting now. I just plain look like a complainer. But I just want you to know that the reason I feel overwhelmed and can't even accomplish my everyday tasks is directly related to OCU.... and the overwhelming urge to choke you when you constantly don't follow through and I am constantly picking up after you and getting sidetracked. THAT is why it's so hard to focus. It has nothing to do with Facebook. Or Foursquare. Or text messaging.
Now What was I doing again!??
Really, over the years, I am coming to realize that I am just fighting a losing battle. the OCU is not going to go away. Allow me to give you a few examples.... causes if you will... of this dreaded disease.
1. CAUSE: *someone* drinks the last 7-up in the fridge. They do NOT replace it with the brand new case of 7-up that is on the back porch that was supposed to be carried down to the basement fridge three days ago. They also put the empty cardboard carton on the basement floor next to the fridge... not in the recycle pile. EFFECT: When I decided that I can have my pop of the day, I get to the fridge and there is none. I have to go back up the stairs, get the case off the porch, take it down, put it in the fridge, and then take the empty cardboard back up to the recycle. Resulting in.... OCU.... the overwhelming urge to choke *someone!*
2. CAUSE: *someone* leaves the toilet paper roll on the side of the sink. *someone else* goes in to wash their hands and gets water ALL OVER the vanity surface, resulting in a pool that the toilet paper roll then soaks up like a wick. EFFECT: I have to pee. I finally find a second to run to the bathroom (most likely about 3 hours after I first recognize that I need to go) and when I need to wipe, the entire bottom half of the toilet paper is wrinkly and wet, resulting in .... OCU.... the overwhelming urge to choke *someone!*
Do you see where this is going? To an outside observer, this looks like classic OCD. I am cranky because the toilet paper roll wasn't where I wanted it to be. I am cranky because the pop isn't where I wanted it to be. This just means that I have a problem, Right? I want things my way? I want things put back in the place and manner that I have designated, for what appears to be no apparent reason except for the fact that I want things MY way? Right? WRONG. What we really have here is a mis-diagnosis. Classic, really. It's underlying OCU causing all the problems. It's the people in the house not being considerate of others. It starts small, and manifests into a huge huge huge issue, not to be ignored.
More examples....
If you are responsible for the children, and take them off with you, the honorable thing to do when you get home? remove the dirty diapers from the diaper bag and put them in the diaper pail. Rocket Science? I think not. This is just something that us moms know how to do. It's something that anyone CAN do. But when you don't do it, and we find them two days later, usually just AFTER we washed diapers, and the whole diaper bag stinks.... well, that causes OCU. Same thing with rinsing out bottles of milk or sippy cups. Not rocket science.
If you pee your pants, and you take yourself to the potty and wipe and close the lid and flush... can't you handle putting the wet panties in the hamper? Not rocket science. You've been taught. When someone's watching you do this, you automatically put them in the hamper like it's nothing. I know you're three, but stepping on wet underwear in random locations is not my idea of a good time.
Okay, I am ranting now. I just plain look like a complainer. But I just want you to know that the reason I feel overwhelmed and can't even accomplish my everyday tasks is directly related to OCU.... and the overwhelming urge to choke you when you constantly don't follow through and I am constantly picking up after you and getting sidetracked. THAT is why it's so hard to focus. It has nothing to do with Facebook. Or Foursquare. Or text messaging.
Now What was I doing again!??
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