Showing posts with label Murder "easy button" "That was easy". Show all posts
Showing posts with label Murder "easy button" "That was easy". Show all posts

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Murder She Wrote

I had a big surprise at work. Someone murdered my easy button. I was shocked. Appalled. Nauseated. I glanced around the office, over my shoulder. I swallowed a shriek of panic.

Oh wait... That's not blood.... It's... RASPBERRY JUICE? Wha? Where? How? Oh that evil mini fridge! Those evil Sam's Choice Raspberries! The raspberries defrosted, which is what I WANTED but then they LEAKED which is what I did NOT expect, and dripped all down the inside of the fridge, and somehow THROUGH the door seal? And formed a perfect pattern around the easy button looking like a bloody mess.

Strange. Unusual. Messy.

What else is new? I forced myself to wear clothes today. It's raining today and I am wearing sweater mules. My pinkie toe itches. I'm eating green grapes. I had to purchase Fit produce wash online because all stores have suddenly quit carrying it right around the time that I can't trust the decontamination of any fruits and vegetables. I am addicted to Target's Prairie and Songbirds CD's to put myself to sleep. It's a new year and I don't give a flying fuck. My friends Josh and Lisa got engaged over Christmas. The Resonator Guitar that I bought for Evan for Christmas Arrived with a cracked neck, which means it is junk. The eBay seller had to refund the money and the guitar is waiting for a UPS Pickup. I have absolutely no motivation to take down two Christmas Trees and other Christmas Decorations. I signed up for the Pink and Yellow February Swap even though I haven't yet gotten my pink and green November swap. I forgot to drop a check off at Lisa's this morning and now I feel terrible. Anya got a new job. My health insurance company denied coverage for the Zeno because they deemed it cosmetic even though It was PRESCRIBED and heals cystic acne, which is a medical condition and not strictly cosmetic. I am sick of getting surveys in my email, and when I try to go take them, I have to answer a bunch of questions and then they say "We are sorry, you don't qualify to take this survey." So far I have filled out over 15 survey requests and I haven't qualified for any of them.
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