I could be more productive than hiding in the kitchen behind the baby gate. I am sitting on the floor in front of the heater with my laptop, in my pajamas, and listening to the dishwasher hum and swish while I alternately type and stir the chex mix in the oven. I am not feeling very ambitious but I have a TON to do, including pick up the entire house, wash all the dishes that my sister left me when she came over and made a birthday cake at my house, and also at some point in time get dressed so I can get a haircut and pick up two prescriptions. I can barely breathe and I didn't sleep much as a result. I have been without allergy medicine for about three weeks now, and I had a few Zyrtec D around that I took once every three days for the past week so that I wouldn't die in my sleep. Those ran out a couple of days ago and I am SO relieved to hear that my insurance company finally processed the "annual pre approval" of allergy medicine. It would be logical for me to just see this coming and get it done in advance, like before I run out, but I take allergy meds only seasonally, which end up being spring and fall for me (and for the kids it seems) and therefore when fall hit I was unprepared and only had a few days of meds left. Well, what I didn't realize at the time was that my insurance requires paperwork and preapproval of all allergy meds not just once, but ANNUALLY (Grrrrr!) and therefore I had to go through the whole process again. Call the pharmacy, who told me to call the doctor, who then called in a script to the pharmacy, who then ran the script through insurance, who then declined it. The pharmacy calls the doctor, then me. The doctor must not have followed up so then a week later I am calling the doctor because the pharmacy is telling me the insurance still isn't approved. Fast forward another week and I call the insurance company and it is approved (this morning) and now I am hoping that I can pick up the meds this evening or tomorrow at the latest. I can barely breathe and it just makes me miserable. OTC meds just don't do it, and then there is the whole hassle of taking a D allergy med, so that when you want to GET the medicine you have to buy only 15 days at a time (in case you are trying to make meth you know) and how fun is it to stand in line every 15 days at the pharmacy with two toddlers to buy overpriced meds that you would rather just get monthly at the pharmacy anyway? Oy.
So by this point in time my nose is plugged solid and my head feels like it's a giant balloon and my ears are sore and feel all clogged. You all know the drill. And the poor kids are on Claritin D, and it isn't touching Marek's snot, which just proceeds to stream down his little face. Poor kid. he probably feels crappy too.
What else is new. Well, not a whole lot. Ardyn starts her first ever Violin lesson tomorrow. We found a very inexpensive used violin from Shar Music (online) which was recommended by our Music Teacher. It's a 1/10 scale violin and it is adorable. The Violin was about $50 and because she is young her teacher recommended a fiberglass bow (less chance of breaking, costs less) and so we have everything, including the Suzuki book one. I started reading a few books this week geared towards parents of Suzuki students. I started with "To Learn with Love, A Companion for Suzuki Parents" and although I enjoy it, it has many references to the other book I had wanted to read, so I thought I should pause the first book and start reading Dr Suzuki's Book and part biography, "Nurtured By Love, The Classic Approach to Talent Education." I am really enjoying Dr. Suzuki's book very much, and some things that he says give me "aha" moments.
My favorite so far has been regarding right handed people. Being left-handed, I can fully appreciate the need to adapt yourself to everyday life in a right-handed world. His approach to teaching everything, including music, is that Talent is not BORN or inherited. It is learned and taught. Every child has the ability to be talented and we should give each child that chance by beginning to teach them at a young age, when they are most able to learn and absorb new things. We don't give children a "choice" to learn their language. They learn their "mother tongue" or native language by repetitive exposure and immersion in the language. We expect that they will learn to talk and therefore we patiently and determinedly teach them. If we teach children music the same way, without asking if our child is "talented", we give each child and equal chance to excel in music, and in life.
Think about right handed people. Are they born right handed? Perhaps. I don't think Dr Suzuki believes that, but I have seen in my right handed child and my left handed child a preference very early on. However, I have learned through the years to do MANY things (the majority of things really) right handed, and some things with both hands. This isn't because I was BORN right handed, but because I was taught to do both, and immersed in a world that is essentially right handed. A right handed person doesn't usually exercise their left hand and practice using it, but anyone who has can tell you that practicing and regular use of your non-dominant hand will result in being able to use it, sometimes ambidextrously or interchangeably with your dominant hand. When I decorate a cake I switch hands continuously, depending on whether I want strength, control, or a different angle of approach on the cake... and I do the same thing with my artistic endeavors. I learned to play pool and sports right handed, cut with scissors right handed, but I still prefer to write and do certain things, like play guitar, with my left hand. I wasn't BORN right handed, but exercise and practice has enabled me to use it every single day.
So the point he makes is that talent and ability, especially when related to music, but when related to anything in life, can easily be learned. As long as you are taught at a young age and use practice and repetition.
Some people dislike all his methods, particularly the fact that he expected students to play their pieces without music. In the beginning, when teaching children that can't read, he teaches them by ear. For example, you may not be able to read music, but you can plunk out Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on the piano if you know it by ear. Same concept. But he DID teach children to read music later, when they were able to read... but he also expects them to play a piece so much that they can play it without looking at music in the future. He wants them to play and not look at their fingers. He wants them to KNOW what is right (fingering wise, tone wise, etc) and not just be reading it off paper. The theory behind this is that once your ability becomes second nature, you can focus on the emotion behind the music and not just fingering the notes. So there has been plenty of controversy surrounding his teaching method, but the book itself explains much and is interesting to read.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Tractor Flashcards
I realize now and then that Marek is SO far behind. I feel badly. But the child doesn't want to sit down and learn colors or numbers or letters or shapes. He is interested in taking things apart, hooking up tractors, and playing with things that have wheels. While Ardyn knew all these "basics" and could count in english and spanish by 17 months, Marek is 2.5 and knows pretty much nothing.
I had an epiphany today that perhaps I could make these things appeal to him, by making the colors into flashcards, the color of tractors. I found a free coloring page printable and colored thr tractors basic colors and printed them out. Then I cut them apart, laminated them, and punched holes in them in the corner, and attach them together with a zip tie (they can't get these apart, unlike a binder clip or shower curtain ring.)
He is napping now but I plan to pack them into his backpack that we take with when we leave the house, in hopes that we can pass some time learning colors and things.
Poor kiddo.
I don't claim these as my own, but in case they might help someone...
I had an epiphany today that perhaps I could make these things appeal to him, by making the colors into flashcards, the color of tractors. I found a free coloring page printable and colored thr tractors basic colors and printed them out. Then I cut them apart, laminated them, and punched holes in them in the corner, and attach them together with a zip tie (they can't get these apart, unlike a binder clip or shower curtain ring.)
He is napping now but I plan to pack them into his backpack that we take with when we leave the house, in hopes that we can pass some time learning colors and things.
Poor kiddo.
I don't claim these as my own, but in case they might help someone...
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Boys.
Here is a little bit of insight into the reason that I seem to be staying up so late even though I'm so very tired. An hour ago I attempted to get ready for be. I decided to read a little bit of Middlemarch by George Elliott because I can only tolerate a little bit at a time before I get bored or my mind starts to wander or I find that I'm reading the words without really even internalizing anything. Sure enough I was able to read a small amount of Middlemarch before I got bored and I decided to switch to one of my new books about the Suzuki method of teaching music. I have been reading with the lights off because my iPhone is backlit and I don't have any problems so I decided with my switch to Suzuki to keep the lights off and of course when I went to look for my book light which is normally right next to my bed, It was missing thanks to the little hands of Marek. I had a feeling that it was behind my nightstand so I attempted to reach my arm down there and feel for it when I accidentally knocked over my entire glass of water down behind my nightstand- up against the wall and all over the electrical cords for my iPod dock and my alarm clock and my lamp and my Himalayan rock salt lamp. Good times. So I frantically tried to pull the nightstand away from the wall and get behind it with a towel to wipe up the water before causing some type of electrical malfunction and in the process of that I stepped on a tube of Desitin that was sitting on the floor next to the bed (along with the spare wipes and a couple diapers and I keep nearby) and squirted the tube all over the floor all over my notebooks and all over a stack of books also stacked alongside the bed.
Of course much if not all of this was my fault but it immediately took me back to Marek and his meddling in my nightstand and losing my book light. When I finally had everything wiped up and all the notebooks as clean as I could get them I retrieved the book light and before turning it on realized there was a good chance that he had left it on. The battery could be dead so all of this work could have been in vain. Luckily the light turned right on but it was then that I realized I had wasted 30 min. trying to get the book light and really at this point time I shouldn't even be reading anymore but should be going straight to bed.
So as soon as I lay down my mind started thinking of all the fun things that Marek had done today.
The first thing that came to mind was the entire yogurt smoothie that he dumped into his car seat which then led to him losing his pants because they were covered in yogurt and me taking his car seat completely apart and taking it to the car wash when I should've been visiting grandma Mona while Ardyn was at school. While I was at the car wash Marek was with daddy because he had no car seat and he proceeded to chew a whole big chunk of the finish/veneer off of the footboard of Ardyn's bed. Not an hour later I caught him trying to plunge the toilet in the bathroom.
Add to that his normal activities like climbing up the table and getting into cupboards and unloading things every time I turn around, and you have a pretty eventful day. When I left tonight to go see a movie I warned Evan right away you have to keep your eyes on him because he has been incredibly naughty and getting into everything. Especially things that he's not supposed to. This week he found half a blue crayon and colored the dining room floor which is wood and the Culligan water dispenser and the front of the game cabinet and also on the side of the woodwork in the living room. Sometime recently he must have found a pen and written on the bathroom wall and today when I lay down with Ardyn to read her story I saw that he had carved the inside bed rail on her bunk bed with a pencil. I also opened up my calendar planner to discover that he had scribbled all over it at some point in time and every time that I go to my sewing table I find something else that he has written on- usually a pattern or notebook or a scrap of paper. When we go to church if I turn my back for a second he has signed his name in the guestbook, which usually is on top of everyone else's name- and the guestbook is on a low table which is at his perfect level - the problem being with the fact that there's always a pen there, for convenience of course... but it is just a little too convenient for Marek and apparently too tempting.
Two Sundays ago after church, Ron happened to catch Marek trying to open up the guillotine type cutter that was in the church office and luckily saved him from cutting off something important- and we did discover that there is a lock on that but I guess I do need to maybe ask about putting a note nearby or on it that reminds people to lock it because now there are little kids running around and the church office is right in the open im the foyer and that scares me a little bit. I try to watch them but it is practically impossible to talk to anyone and keep my eyes on them both.
Well, hopefully I can get some sleep now :)
Meagan ~ via blogpress on my iPhone :)
Of course much if not all of this was my fault but it immediately took me back to Marek and his meddling in my nightstand and losing my book light. When I finally had everything wiped up and all the notebooks as clean as I could get them I retrieved the book light and before turning it on realized there was a good chance that he had left it on. The battery could be dead so all of this work could have been in vain. Luckily the light turned right on but it was then that I realized I had wasted 30 min. trying to get the book light and really at this point time I shouldn't even be reading anymore but should be going straight to bed.
So as soon as I lay down my mind started thinking of all the fun things that Marek had done today.
The first thing that came to mind was the entire yogurt smoothie that he dumped into his car seat which then led to him losing his pants because they were covered in yogurt and me taking his car seat completely apart and taking it to the car wash when I should've been visiting grandma Mona while Ardyn was at school. While I was at the car wash Marek was with daddy because he had no car seat and he proceeded to chew a whole big chunk of the finish/veneer off of the footboard of Ardyn's bed. Not an hour later I caught him trying to plunge the toilet in the bathroom.
Add to that his normal activities like climbing up the table and getting into cupboards and unloading things every time I turn around, and you have a pretty eventful day. When I left tonight to go see a movie I warned Evan right away you have to keep your eyes on him because he has been incredibly naughty and getting into everything. Especially things that he's not supposed to. This week he found half a blue crayon and colored the dining room floor which is wood and the Culligan water dispenser and the front of the game cabinet and also on the side of the woodwork in the living room. Sometime recently he must have found a pen and written on the bathroom wall and today when I lay down with Ardyn to read her story I saw that he had carved the inside bed rail on her bunk bed with a pencil. I also opened up my calendar planner to discover that he had scribbled all over it at some point in time and every time that I go to my sewing table I find something else that he has written on- usually a pattern or notebook or a scrap of paper. When we go to church if I turn my back for a second he has signed his name in the guestbook, which usually is on top of everyone else's name- and the guestbook is on a low table which is at his perfect level - the problem being with the fact that there's always a pen there, for convenience of course... but it is just a little too convenient for Marek and apparently too tempting.
Two Sundays ago after church, Ron happened to catch Marek trying to open up the guillotine type cutter that was in the church office and luckily saved him from cutting off something important- and we did discover that there is a lock on that but I guess I do need to maybe ask about putting a note nearby or on it that reminds people to lock it because now there are little kids running around and the church office is right in the open im the foyer and that scares me a little bit. I try to watch them but it is practically impossible to talk to anyone and keep my eyes on them both.
Well, hopefully I can get some sleep now :)
Meagan ~ via blogpress on my iPhone :)
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Kidspeak... When I turn 9
Ardyn said "mom when I turn 9 I am gonna be a Rock star. And you have to buy me a car. And daddy will follow me so I can go to a concert. When I 9, you will drive my car and I will ride with you.
I also want to be a construction site people. I am gonna use a digger to pickup rocks. And I am gonna be a police officer. And a soldier. With the sharpest sharpest sharpest sword.
Okay mom?"
Meagan ~ via blogpress on my iPhone :)
I also want to be a construction site people. I am gonna use a digger to pickup rocks. And I am gonna be a police officer. And a soldier. With the sharpest sharpest sharpest sword.
Okay mom?"
Meagan ~ via blogpress on my iPhone :)
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Multiplying like.... well.... rabbits!
This has been such a bizarre couple of days!
Most of you facebook friends know that Tuesday was Ardyn's Very Special Person Day at school, and as part of VSP Day you get to bring something for Show and Tell. Ardyn chose her bunny Licorice, which is some type of Netherland Dwarf bunny that we got free. So everything is planned and the kids are in the van, and we borrowed a pet taxi carrier, and I pull out front and go to get the bunny.... and the bunny, is GONE. Gone. For real. Like door to bunny run wide open and no bunny around. So I go inside and I look at Evan and I said "You are NOT Going to believe this." and he says What, and I say, "The bunny is GONE. gone." and he was like "You are KIDDING Me." and then after a pause, "You are KIDDING me!" Yeah. today. Show and tell, I am bringing my bunny to school day.
So poor Ardyn, was hysterical, and helped me catch a chicken. And Show and Tell went well with Ginger, who is actually more sociable than Licorice.
So we started the quest for a new bunny, and I decided that this time I was through with "free bunnies" that someone else wanted to get rid of. I wanted a bunny who was calm and relaxed and loved to be held and social. I wanted a bunny that was cute and that we picked out ourselves. I wanted to be picky. We have all bunny supplies that a person could possibly need, and a nice big hutch with a run, and so I thought, this time, we get a good bunny. One that I am not secretly hoping doesn't have a long healthy life. Like, when I was in the pet store and saw vitamin drops for bunnies and saw the label talk about longevity and health and thought "those aren't for our bunny" I realized that I wasn't really in love with Licorice. Sad but true. I LOVE Animals, but I still need to take into consideration that I am not equipped to be my own animal rescue center :)
So after lots of research, I was very fond of Flemish Giant bunnies. I was a little worried about the size, because I felt like it was almost like taking on another DOG. But the positives for the breed were so POSITIVE that I started searching. I finally found a few leads and they lead us right towards several Flemish Giants raised at Boggio's Orchard in Granville... that had been babies in early spring of 2011, and were now happily hopping around but for sale.
I thought we would wait till next week to go see them, but today we had nothing going on, and the woman in charge of bunnies mentioned that she was having surgery tomorrow and would be gone for a while. So we packed up and ran over to the orchard and picked a gorgeous silver-grey Flemish that is oh so fluffy and tame and sweet. It's a girl, and we had a hard time naming her today, which is unusual for us. We opened the baby name book to girls and right away saw Briar or Brier and it made me giggle because of Br'er Rabbit, and because the Disney Movie "Song of the South" is my favorite, and has Br'er Rabbit as a character, and also it was sort of a "meant to be" because we had a really moving sermon this past Sunday by Pastor Mary Gay that included references to Br'er Rabbit. So Briar Bunny she became. Ardyn was right on that.
So, the bunny came home and watched TV with Ardyn on the couch for an hour, and then hopped around while we ate lunch. Then I took her out to check out her hutch and she seemed pleased. The kids and I lay down for naps and got up just in time to get to dance class, when Ardyn started INSISTING that she saw Licorice in the yard. I told her she was nuts, and then 20 minutes later, sure enough, Licorice was in the yard. Oh. Boy. Suddenly we have TWO Bunnies. But of course I couldn't catch the bunny. This seems to be a pattern. But really, it's not to saddening because I don't really WANT two bunnies, and I can't put the two together because Licorice is a male and Briar is a female, and we don't need TWO Bunnies, let alone MORE Bunnies. Oy. So Ardyn is hysterical because I can't catch Licorice, and I explained that we can't HAVE two bunnies and that Licorice doesn't want to be caught, and that we will see him around the yard when he wants to come around and that if we DO catch him, we will have to find him a new home. She finally seems okay with that. And so I text Evan and tell him who showed up again and he was like NO WAY and then I called my mom and told her that she could now say "I told you so" because we suddenly sorta have two bunnies.
And then Evan said that he tried to catch Licorice while we were at dance and that it wasn't possible. LOL. So fast forward to 9pm and there is a knock at my door and a neighbor from several (SEVERAL) houses down the street (way down the street) asks if I have lost a bunny because he caught it. Oh boy. Looks like I will need to find a place to stash Licorice for the night. So I go to the guy's truck and he jokes that I will need to identify bunny and I say well, he's all black, and he is small, it's surely mine. And he shows me the cage and guess what, It's NOT my bunny. We are both shocked and he is a little sad because now HE has a bunny, which isn't mine, which means he HAS A bunny. LOL. What are the chances that there are two black domestic bunnies loose on my Street? LOL. Amazing. So after looking again, I say "nope, not my bunny" because it's more brown/black and a different breed with shorter ears and bigger eyes.
After he leaves I panic a bit in case it really WAS my rabbit and since I spent all day with a Flemish Giant, what if I suddenly thought that mine looked different. No. No no. I tell myself that I spent several minutes today trying to catch licorice and that I know what he looks like. That bunny looked NOTHING like Licorice. So, apparently there is a serious bunch of bunnies running around here. I just hope that Briar stays right where she belongs, because we seriously adore her. She watched Rio with us tonight and sat and watched us eat our supper. I put a box with a rug inside for her to hang out in, and she loved it. She ate lettuce leaves and carrots :) She's wonderful.
Most of you facebook friends know that Tuesday was Ardyn's Very Special Person Day at school, and as part of VSP Day you get to bring something for Show and Tell. Ardyn chose her bunny Licorice, which is some type of Netherland Dwarf bunny that we got free. So everything is planned and the kids are in the van, and we borrowed a pet taxi carrier, and I pull out front and go to get the bunny.... and the bunny, is GONE. Gone. For real. Like door to bunny run wide open and no bunny around. So I go inside and I look at Evan and I said "You are NOT Going to believe this." and he says What, and I say, "The bunny is GONE. gone." and he was like "You are KIDDING Me." and then after a pause, "You are KIDDING me!" Yeah. today. Show and tell, I am bringing my bunny to school day.
So poor Ardyn, was hysterical, and helped me catch a chicken. And Show and Tell went well with Ginger, who is actually more sociable than Licorice.
So we started the quest for a new bunny, and I decided that this time I was through with "free bunnies" that someone else wanted to get rid of. I wanted a bunny who was calm and relaxed and loved to be held and social. I wanted a bunny that was cute and that we picked out ourselves. I wanted to be picky. We have all bunny supplies that a person could possibly need, and a nice big hutch with a run, and so I thought, this time, we get a good bunny. One that I am not secretly hoping doesn't have a long healthy life. Like, when I was in the pet store and saw vitamin drops for bunnies and saw the label talk about longevity and health and thought "those aren't for our bunny" I realized that I wasn't really in love with Licorice. Sad but true. I LOVE Animals, but I still need to take into consideration that I am not equipped to be my own animal rescue center :)
So after lots of research, I was very fond of Flemish Giant bunnies. I was a little worried about the size, because I felt like it was almost like taking on another DOG. But the positives for the breed were so POSITIVE that I started searching. I finally found a few leads and they lead us right towards several Flemish Giants raised at Boggio's Orchard in Granville... that had been babies in early spring of 2011, and were now happily hopping around but for sale.
I thought we would wait till next week to go see them, but today we had nothing going on, and the woman in charge of bunnies mentioned that she was having surgery tomorrow and would be gone for a while. So we packed up and ran over to the orchard and picked a gorgeous silver-grey Flemish that is oh so fluffy and tame and sweet. It's a girl, and we had a hard time naming her today, which is unusual for us. We opened the baby name book to girls and right away saw Briar or Brier and it made me giggle because of Br'er Rabbit, and because the Disney Movie "Song of the South" is my favorite, and has Br'er Rabbit as a character, and also it was sort of a "meant to be" because we had a really moving sermon this past Sunday by Pastor Mary Gay that included references to Br'er Rabbit. So Briar Bunny she became. Ardyn was right on that.
So, the bunny came home and watched TV with Ardyn on the couch for an hour, and then hopped around while we ate lunch. Then I took her out to check out her hutch and she seemed pleased. The kids and I lay down for naps and got up just in time to get to dance class, when Ardyn started INSISTING that she saw Licorice in the yard. I told her she was nuts, and then 20 minutes later, sure enough, Licorice was in the yard. Oh. Boy. Suddenly we have TWO Bunnies. But of course I couldn't catch the bunny. This seems to be a pattern. But really, it's not to saddening because I don't really WANT two bunnies, and I can't put the two together because Licorice is a male and Briar is a female, and we don't need TWO Bunnies, let alone MORE Bunnies. Oy. So Ardyn is hysterical because I can't catch Licorice, and I explained that we can't HAVE two bunnies and that Licorice doesn't want to be caught, and that we will see him around the yard when he wants to come around and that if we DO catch him, we will have to find him a new home. She finally seems okay with that. And so I text Evan and tell him who showed up again and he was like NO WAY and then I called my mom and told her that she could now say "I told you so" because we suddenly sorta have two bunnies.
And then Evan said that he tried to catch Licorice while we were at dance and that it wasn't possible. LOL. So fast forward to 9pm and there is a knock at my door and a neighbor from several (SEVERAL) houses down the street (way down the street) asks if I have lost a bunny because he caught it. Oh boy. Looks like I will need to find a place to stash Licorice for the night. So I go to the guy's truck and he jokes that I will need to identify bunny and I say well, he's all black, and he is small, it's surely mine. And he shows me the cage and guess what, It's NOT my bunny. We are both shocked and he is a little sad because now HE has a bunny, which isn't mine, which means he HAS A bunny. LOL. What are the chances that there are two black domestic bunnies loose on my Street? LOL. Amazing. So after looking again, I say "nope, not my bunny" because it's more brown/black and a different breed with shorter ears and bigger eyes.
After he leaves I panic a bit in case it really WAS my rabbit and since I spent all day with a Flemish Giant, what if I suddenly thought that mine looked different. No. No no. I tell myself that I spent several minutes today trying to catch licorice and that I know what he looks like. That bunny looked NOTHING like Licorice. So, apparently there is a serious bunch of bunnies running around here. I just hope that Briar stays right where she belongs, because we seriously adore her. She watched Rio with us tonight and sat and watched us eat our supper. I put a box with a rug inside for her to hang out in, and she loved it. She ate lettuce leaves and carrots :) She's wonderful.
Sunday, September 04, 2011
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Wearever Warranty Claim #2
I like to save things here for documentation purposes :) They never get lost. And also the experience I have can serve as a review for their customer service and warranty.
WearEver® Warranty Assistance
2199 Eden Rd
Millville, NJ 08332
I am enclosing a set of non-stick cookware for return under warranty. The Teflon has begun to badly flake with normal use. We do not use metal utensils.
This is our second set of non-stick Wearever Cookware. The first set did a similar thing, but after a much longer span of time, and it held a lifetime warranty and was returned. It was replaced with the set enclosed.
When requesting a replacement, I am wondering if you would consider a replacement with a Stainless Steel cookware set, so that I do not have to continue dealing with the telfon flaking. This would make me a very happy customer, because sending the cookware back every few years isn’t the most convenient and I anticipate this will continue to happen with the non-stick cookware.
I also own a set of Pampered Chef Professional non-stick cookware, which is 7 years old, and have never had flaking under the same conditions of use. Please advise. Thank you for your time.
Meagan Johnson
Reference #: 090721-000149
Monday, August 29, 2011
Kidspeak- Mexico
Watching Ardyn play in the tub and act out a scenario where her mermaids and their dolphins and seahorses needed to escape. They were running from some imminent danger and she squealed in her best mermaid voice "Swim! Swim to Mexico!"
It's like she's been watching CSI Miami or something....?
Meagan ~ via iPhone :)
It's like she's been watching CSI Miami or something....?
Meagan ~ via iPhone :)
Kidspeak- A Conversation with Ardyn
walked to the bank this afternoon, and Ardyn insisted on walking while Marek rode in the stroller, so we took the umbrella stroller.It was nice, probably 82 degrees. Warm in the sun, but perfect in the shade. We walked to the bank, did our business and walked right home. We were probably three blocks from home when Ardyn says "Whew, I am so tired, I just can't even go one more step. I need a drink really badly." and I say "We are almost home, you can have a drink and then we can play outside for a bit before naptime."
Ardyn says "can we just find a house where someone we know lives and get a drink of water." Me, "um, no Ardyn. Most people we know are at work today, and we are only 3 blocks from home." Ardyn "I can't even SEE our house."
Pauses. "Mommy, who lives there?" I tell her and she says what are their full names, and I tell her and she says "see, we know them, let's stop for a break and some nice water to drink." Oy.
We are less than a block from home now. I explain that we are not stopping anywhere. We are two houses away, then about 20 feet from our driveway and she says "Mom, I can't do it, it's like a whole three miles."
Apparently she got my athletic ability and desire to exercise. You may laugh, but I am the kid who used to cry in Kindergarten when we did those "field-day" track meets because they told us we had to do one running event and one field event. I HATED running. I always have. Always. Everything in my body and mind is against running. In the end, I always did two field events. Not sure how it happened, but I was stubborn. I usually ended up throwing the frisbee, or doing the long jump or the softball throw. And when I was in Jr high I did track stats and even did track stats for the entire Indian Valley Conference meets.... anything to NOT have to run. :)
Ardyn says "can we just find a house where someone we know lives and get a drink of water." Me, "um, no Ardyn. Most people we know are at work today, and we are only 3 blocks from home." Ardyn "I can't even SEE our house."
Pauses. "Mommy, who lives there?" I tell her and she says what are their full names, and I tell her and she says "see, we know them, let's stop for a break and some nice water to drink." Oy.
We are less than a block from home now. I explain that we are not stopping anywhere. We are two houses away, then about 20 feet from our driveway and she says "Mom, I can't do it, it's like a whole three miles."
Apparently she got my athletic ability and desire to exercise. You may laugh, but I am the kid who used to cry in Kindergarten when we did those "field-day" track meets because they told us we had to do one running event and one field event. I HATED running. I always have. Always. Everything in my body and mind is against running. In the end, I always did two field events. Not sure how it happened, but I was stubborn. I usually ended up throwing the frisbee, or doing the long jump or the softball throw. And when I was in Jr high I did track stats and even did track stats for the entire Indian Valley Conference meets.... anything to NOT have to run. :)
Sunday, August 28, 2011
New Year's Resolutions?
I am working REALLY hard right now to stay on track. REALLY. HARD. The house was clean on Friday, and I am working so hard to keep it clean and picked up. Every time I turn around it's trashed, and so I am staying on top of things to the best of my ability. Loading the dishwasher after every meal and every snack, running it once a day, laundry in the hampers, diapers in the "chomper" and toys put away. Used play-doh for leverage today and got the kids to pick up all toys they have touched since Friday and put them away before playing play-doh and then after play-doh they went down for naps. The problem is that we are OFTEN on the go, and that leaves little time for enforcing these things, and I am bad about that. Plus Marek was not quite old enough to follow directions 100% and while he is a good "cleaner upper" it was hard to keep him from tearing things up over and over. I am seeing a light at the end of that tunnel now, and he understands consequences a bit better now, and also understands when I want him to do something BEFORE he gets to get a treat, and so that is helping. It's kinda like when he turned the corner to show some interest in potty training, and understand the positive side of things and the upsides to doing good, he also started seeing rewards for other behavior.
Although I don't think my dear husband quite understands the concept yet, as I have been picking up his dishes and garbage still for the past two days, but he will get there. It's almost like whole-family boot camp going on here, and while I have to be drill sergeant, I also have to have serious discipline to pick things up constantly, both for themselves and myself. It's been two days and I feel successful, but all it takes is one bit of "life" to throw me for a loop. Sickness. The number one thing I dread, has been on my mind heavily lately. After last winter and Evan with H1N1 and kids bringing home things from school, I just do NOT look forward to the season ahead. I am already on the list for flu shots and am so thankful that Evan will be getting one to this year. But I can already feel the anxiety building towards flu season.
I have to find the balance (if there IS one) between neurotic housekeeping that I used to partake in and sloth-filled disaster that came over us after Marek was up and moving. All without losing my mind or strangling anyone who lives here.
It IS possible, right? I am done with MOPS now and although I have joined PJWC I am taking on little with any groups right now. I love the way that PJWC is all about giving back to the community and also how they have such a definite goal in mind that their time is largely spend planning and executing... and there is a lot I can do to help there, but I am going to be very selective in what I sign on to do, which they have been really supportive and encouraging of. I have enough on my proverbial plate and lots of friends who also like help from time to time, but right now this family is first. I anticipate telling a lot of people "no" in upcoming months, and that's okay. I plan on working more on keeping the family unit going strong and less on involvement with groups. I think I have group burnout. Volunteer burnout has happened to me several times over the years already, and I tend to do all that I can, then feel disappointed or exhausted, then back off for a while. I think I am into my "back off" phase for a while now. Especially with both kids going strong. we have plenty going on and I just don't feel the need to add a whole lot more. I also want to focus on fun things like scrapbooking and going to the zoo, whether they be fun times with the family or getting some me-time. I just don't want all my me time going to volunteering anymore. I need me to be in full mental capacity if I am going to keep this place on track.
Today I hid a little toy in Ardyn's bed before naptime. She is really getting to the point of not wanting a nap, but there are days she really needs to rest. I always make her have a 45 minute or longer rest period in the dark in her room, but she almost always ends up waking Marek up halfway through his nap, because their rooms are adjacent. It's really hard when they are attached to each other like that. But anyway, I hid the toy (which is in the toy library so not seen much) in her bed and then I whispered in her ear "It's naptime, and after you go potty, go get into your bed and look for the surprise." She was excited and even more so when she found the doll with her little snap on clothes, and she played in her bed quietly while I got Marek down. I told her when she started to feel tired, to put the pieces back in their tote and put the lid on and lay down, but above all, to stay QUIET. So far so good. I think giving her something like that to play quietly with at naptime might help her relax and ease into napping if she is able, and at least let Marek nap peacefully. He badly needs a nap. If he goes without one, he is begging to sleep by 6:30, which is not like him at all.
I am also working towards an 8pm bedtime, which will be easy once the time changes, but right now it's hard. Not because they won't GO to bed, but because there are nights when our lives are still in full swing at 8pm. Or times when we aren't HOME by 8pm. So that will be some adjustment for all of us. But the kids always sleep 10 hours, and 12 is even better for them, especially if Ardyn won't nap. And I want them to say healthy and not be too ornery during the day... and more sleep seems to help... so with back to school, and early rising... They will be working on 8pm bedtime. I have been trying to get myself into bed early. My goal has been to be sleeping by 10:30/11, which sometimes works and sometimes completely backfires, but a little homeopathic sleeping medicine seems to help. And I have also been working on reading each night instead of watching TV or doing work or chores. Like after the kids go to bed, no late night marathons. I don't know how I will get anything done, but hopefully being home more and more vigilant during the day will help.
Another Goal is better eating, just really more "meals" and less "What the hell is there to eat around here." The kids got bento boxes and I am hoping to really get lunches packed when I know we will be away from home for the day, to cut costs and make for a more healthy meal. My stomach just can't handle all the crap that you have to eat when you are grabbing something on your way somewhere, and with kids you just can't tell them to wait or your whole world will implode shortly thereafter. When they are hungry, they are hungry!
So, my bath is ready and the kids are napping or resting, so I am being called! But enjoy the rest of your weekend and after we pick up fair entries this evening I will try to write a full post about the fair experience. :)
Although I don't think my dear husband quite understands the concept yet, as I have been picking up his dishes and garbage still for the past two days, but he will get there. It's almost like whole-family boot camp going on here, and while I have to be drill sergeant, I also have to have serious discipline to pick things up constantly, both for themselves and myself. It's been two days and I feel successful, but all it takes is one bit of "life" to throw me for a loop. Sickness. The number one thing I dread, has been on my mind heavily lately. After last winter and Evan with H1N1 and kids bringing home things from school, I just do NOT look forward to the season ahead. I am already on the list for flu shots and am so thankful that Evan will be getting one to this year. But I can already feel the anxiety building towards flu season.
I have to find the balance (if there IS one) between neurotic housekeeping that I used to partake in and sloth-filled disaster that came over us after Marek was up and moving. All without losing my mind or strangling anyone who lives here.
It IS possible, right? I am done with MOPS now and although I have joined PJWC I am taking on little with any groups right now. I love the way that PJWC is all about giving back to the community and also how they have such a definite goal in mind that their time is largely spend planning and executing... and there is a lot I can do to help there, but I am going to be very selective in what I sign on to do, which they have been really supportive and encouraging of. I have enough on my proverbial plate and lots of friends who also like help from time to time, but right now this family is first. I anticipate telling a lot of people "no" in upcoming months, and that's okay. I plan on working more on keeping the family unit going strong and less on involvement with groups. I think I have group burnout. Volunteer burnout has happened to me several times over the years already, and I tend to do all that I can, then feel disappointed or exhausted, then back off for a while. I think I am into my "back off" phase for a while now. Especially with both kids going strong. we have plenty going on and I just don't feel the need to add a whole lot more. I also want to focus on fun things like scrapbooking and going to the zoo, whether they be fun times with the family or getting some me-time. I just don't want all my me time going to volunteering anymore. I need me to be in full mental capacity if I am going to keep this place on track.
Today I hid a little toy in Ardyn's bed before naptime. She is really getting to the point of not wanting a nap, but there are days she really needs to rest. I always make her have a 45 minute or longer rest period in the dark in her room, but she almost always ends up waking Marek up halfway through his nap, because their rooms are adjacent. It's really hard when they are attached to each other like that. But anyway, I hid the toy (which is in the toy library so not seen much) in her bed and then I whispered in her ear "It's naptime, and after you go potty, go get into your bed and look for the surprise." She was excited and even more so when she found the doll with her little snap on clothes, and she played in her bed quietly while I got Marek down. I told her when she started to feel tired, to put the pieces back in their tote and put the lid on and lay down, but above all, to stay QUIET. So far so good. I think giving her something like that to play quietly with at naptime might help her relax and ease into napping if she is able, and at least let Marek nap peacefully. He badly needs a nap. If he goes without one, he is begging to sleep by 6:30, which is not like him at all.
I am also working towards an 8pm bedtime, which will be easy once the time changes, but right now it's hard. Not because they won't GO to bed, but because there are nights when our lives are still in full swing at 8pm. Or times when we aren't HOME by 8pm. So that will be some adjustment for all of us. But the kids always sleep 10 hours, and 12 is even better for them, especially if Ardyn won't nap. And I want them to say healthy and not be too ornery during the day... and more sleep seems to help... so with back to school, and early rising... They will be working on 8pm bedtime. I have been trying to get myself into bed early. My goal has been to be sleeping by 10:30/11, which sometimes works and sometimes completely backfires, but a little homeopathic sleeping medicine seems to help. And I have also been working on reading each night instead of watching TV or doing work or chores. Like after the kids go to bed, no late night marathons. I don't know how I will get anything done, but hopefully being home more and more vigilant during the day will help.
Another Goal is better eating, just really more "meals" and less "What the hell is there to eat around here." The kids got bento boxes and I am hoping to really get lunches packed when I know we will be away from home for the day, to cut costs and make for a more healthy meal. My stomach just can't handle all the crap that you have to eat when you are grabbing something on your way somewhere, and with kids you just can't tell them to wait or your whole world will implode shortly thereafter. When they are hungry, they are hungry!
So, my bath is ready and the kids are napping or resting, so I am being called! But enjoy the rest of your weekend and after we pick up fair entries this evening I will try to write a full post about the fair experience. :)
Saturday, August 27, 2011
bcrnews.com | Photos of my Photos Make the News!
bcrnews.com | Why we love the fair ... in Princeton, IL and Bureau County, IL
Two of my photos entered at the fair were photographed by the Bureau County Republican Newspaper and featured in an article about the fair. Mine are the blue ribbon on the upper left, and the red ribbon second from left, second down on the right. (With Marek in the tractor tire)
:) Made me smile.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Kidspeak-blonde
Marek to Mommy while on the potty chair this morning... "mommy? My pee is blonde mommy."
Meagan ~ via blogpress on my iPhone :)
Meagan ~ via blogpress on my iPhone :)
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Goodness
Things have been going well around here. I am pretty sure the house is a wreck, but at least I am accomplishing things (just not cleaning things :)
I have three loads of laundry on the couch that need put away, and another two loads in progress in the laundry room and I am not seeming to get too excited about any of it. But on the bright side I did get 13 quarts of tomatoes canned and 20 pounds of blueberries frozen in the last 24 hours. And I assembled the most atrocious wagon on the planet (assembly wise) and went for a walk, and took a nice two hour nap, and revamped the bunny hutch.
The hutch has this nice run that attaches to the front. There is a design flaw in some way, that I discovered in about 48 hours, when bunny decided to hatch an escape plan. The started to dig under the run. It was then that I realized that although the thing had a wire roof, it kinda needs a wire floor. Nice for the grass to grow through, but prevents burrowing out. I filled the hole and in 24 hours he had dug it back and twice the size and was so near escaping that I decided I needed to do something. I locked him inside the hutch for the rest of the day and tonight at 11pm the kids and I took the run off the front and looked at it closer. It seems that it wasn't assembled correctly, and I don't know if this was to suit their tastes or by accident, so we started to put it together slightly differently. I used the roof as the bottom and left the top open, and had some adjustments to do to the hasps/hook and eyes that attach it to the hutch front, which I did, and I also had to flip the back bottom around and reattach it. It could use one brace across the top center now but I am thinking this might work better. I will need to be sure that bunny is locked up at night to keep him safe from predators getting into the topless run, but otherwise I think it's better than burrowing out the bottom of the run.
This is the exact hutch that we have, and our run is the smaller of the two that isn't quite as wide as the house (the one shown in the picture is the exact width of the hutch.) I was fortunate to see it in a friend's yard and inquire if it would be for sale. I obtained it for $50, so it was highly affordable :) I decided to send the manufacturer an email and see if they can get me directions, because I might see about ordering a replacement top and attaching it to the "top" that is now open. Depends on the cost.
Right now Boyd is pretty good at standing watch. If the chickens get into their coop at dusk and I don't get the door shut till midnight, they are safe with Boyd around. Tonight while we were out in the yard in the dark the neighbor cat kept trying to sneak inside the fence. I shooed it off once and then Boyd took off after it the next time it got inside the fence. His doghouse is right next to the chicken coop and near the bunny hutch, and when it's nice outside he likes to sleep UNDER the chicken coop in the dirt or on the cement patio stones. If anything ever happens to him (whic is likely, after all he IS 14) I don't know what I will do. It will take a while to teach a new dog to not EAT the animals we dwell with :)
In other news, I am hoping to do some bento lunches this year. I got a new book with all kinds of photos and recipes, and I think it would be fun. Let's see if I actually get it done. Last year I did make lots of shaped eggs because I got the hard boiled egg molds, but never got as far as rice balls or shaped foods. Maybe this is my year :)
Well, kids went to bed at midnight, and although I have only had 29 minutes of quiet time today, I think I need to go to sleep soon. I am tired tonight and I hope this means that I won't toss and turn and think for two hours in bed before I can sleep.
I have three loads of laundry on the couch that need put away, and another two loads in progress in the laundry room and I am not seeming to get too excited about any of it. But on the bright side I did get 13 quarts of tomatoes canned and 20 pounds of blueberries frozen in the last 24 hours. And I assembled the most atrocious wagon on the planet (assembly wise) and went for a walk, and took a nice two hour nap, and revamped the bunny hutch.
The hutch has this nice run that attaches to the front. There is a design flaw in some way, that I discovered in about 48 hours, when bunny decided to hatch an escape plan. The started to dig under the run. It was then that I realized that although the thing had a wire roof, it kinda needs a wire floor. Nice for the grass to grow through, but prevents burrowing out. I filled the hole and in 24 hours he had dug it back and twice the size and was so near escaping that I decided I needed to do something. I locked him inside the hutch for the rest of the day and tonight at 11pm the kids and I took the run off the front and looked at it closer. It seems that it wasn't assembled correctly, and I don't know if this was to suit their tastes or by accident, so we started to put it together slightly differently. I used the roof as the bottom and left the top open, and had some adjustments to do to the hasps/hook and eyes that attach it to the hutch front, which I did, and I also had to flip the back bottom around and reattach it. It could use one brace across the top center now but I am thinking this might work better. I will need to be sure that bunny is locked up at night to keep him safe from predators getting into the topless run, but otherwise I think it's better than burrowing out the bottom of the run.
This is the exact hutch that we have, and our run is the smaller of the two that isn't quite as wide as the house (the one shown in the picture is the exact width of the hutch.) I was fortunate to see it in a friend's yard and inquire if it would be for sale. I obtained it for $50, so it was highly affordable :) I decided to send the manufacturer an email and see if they can get me directions, because I might see about ordering a replacement top and attaching it to the "top" that is now open. Depends on the cost.
Right now Boyd is pretty good at standing watch. If the chickens get into their coop at dusk and I don't get the door shut till midnight, they are safe with Boyd around. Tonight while we were out in the yard in the dark the neighbor cat kept trying to sneak inside the fence. I shooed it off once and then Boyd took off after it the next time it got inside the fence. His doghouse is right next to the chicken coop and near the bunny hutch, and when it's nice outside he likes to sleep UNDER the chicken coop in the dirt or on the cement patio stones. If anything ever happens to him (whic is likely, after all he IS 14) I don't know what I will do. It will take a while to teach a new dog to not EAT the animals we dwell with :)
In other news, I am hoping to do some bento lunches this year. I got a new book with all kinds of photos and recipes, and I think it would be fun. Let's see if I actually get it done. Last year I did make lots of shaped eggs because I got the hard boiled egg molds, but never got as far as rice balls or shaped foods. Maybe this is my year :)
Well, kids went to bed at midnight, and although I have only had 29 minutes of quiet time today, I think I need to go to sleep soon. I am tired tonight and I hope this means that I won't toss and turn and think for two hours in bed before I can sleep.
Monday, August 15, 2011
AWOL
I am so not looking forward to this week. I have so much to do and I don't know when I'm going to do it. Tomorrow the first thing that I need to do is to get together my fair entry form for the county fair and fill it out and drop off my payment at the fair office. Then I need to get a prescription refill and both kids need haircuts. I also still have tomatoes to can and blueberries to wash and
freeze and before I can do any of that I have to clean the kitchen and I do mean clean the kitchen. Getting these things done alone would not be easy but would be doable... but getting these things done while watching a three -year-old and a two year old and preparing their meals changing their diapers and keeping them from killing each other that's just, well that's nearly impossible.
Add to that the list of things that other people want me to do and I just don't know where to even begin. I am thinking that this week is going to be nice outside which also makes it difficult because I don't want to spend time in the house... I'd rather be outside with the kids enjoying the weather. And even if I didn't want to be outside it's not fair for me to keep the kids inside when it's so nice out because without me they can't be outside.
I also have my dad's birthday this week and a class reunion banquet planning meeting and also our trip to the zoo.
I have a lot of things that I want to do for other people or for other organizations but it becomes difficult when I find myself putting myself and my own family on the back burner constantly. That's not my goal and that doesn't make me feel like a good person or good wife or a good mother.
It's hard for me to say no to things that other people ask me to do... partially because I really honestly truly do want to help everyone that I possibly can... And partially because I found that if I say no the first time I end up saying yes later and having to fix whatever wasn't done right the first time. I've also found that people often say "if you don't have time to help me. Could you at least show me how to do it?" and I'm the kind of person that really would like someone else to know how to do it but the time that it takes to teach them is like three times longer than what it would take me to just do it myself... so in the end I end up just doing it and never saying no. This is not the answer either but I really haven't figured out yet what the answer is.
Recently I've been trying to come up with a different way to manage my time. Not just my time at home but my time spent doing things for other people because that's really important me. I want to find a way to make it work but I realize that I'm often taking on more than anyone else has ever been expected to do.
I spend a really heavy portion of my "me" time working on things for other people and for the most part this gives me the satisfaction of knowing that I've helped someone but at the same time it becomes really difficult to have any downtime.
This weekend I got so frustrated with myself and so upset that I wasn't able to better manage my time that I decided to just go AWOL for a while... just not answer my phone. not answer every text that I received. not answer every e-mail. not be that person on demand that has the answers that other people are looking for and not being the person that is giving up my me time to spend fixing another person's issues.
Most of the time I don't ask for, require, or even desire any form of payment for things that I do for other people. I see it as volunteering and I see it as knowing that I'm doing a good thing and then sometime down the line when I need someone to be there for me, they will be.
I think another thing that I'm getting better at is asking someone when their deadline is. Sometimes just stopping someone in their tracks and asking them to evaluate when they actually need something done by has helped me to figure out how much of an emergency It really is. I also have to realize that sometimes someone else's emergency is not my emergency. This seems to be the most difficult for me because I really want to react to someone else's need- but I realize I'm putting aside the needs of myself and my own family in an attempt to satisfy everyone else's desires.
Another thing that really frustrates me is the way that our society and our child rearing has changed. Among mothers my age what I often hear is that grandparents are absent or frequently too busy to spend time with their grandkids. In economic times like these grandparents are still working... many of them full time... and they often spend their free time doing other things and enjoying hobbies. Most parents my age talk about being children spending the entire days or entire weekends or sometimes even entire weeks with their grandparents when they were growing up. I don't think that most of us expect grandparents (our parents) to take our kids for an entire week, but when It can be so difficult to get something done or even to go on a date sometimes you make yourself wonder... what's wrong with my kids that my parents don't want to spend any time with them?
There's a greeting card out there now that makes light of Hillary Clinton's book "it takes a village"- I sent it to a mom friend of mine once... I believe the front says something about if it takes a village to raise a child and then you open the card and it says something about which way to the damn village?
Would you believe that my husband and I are not alone in the fact that we have actual arguments over the fact that our parents don't take the kids unless we asked them to... And even then sometimes it's hard to find anyone who wants to take the kids even for a few hours. It's especially hard for our kids because they don't have any cousins and their aunts and uncles are still busy... single or newly married people... that don't really want to spend their time hanging out with kids. Poor Ardyn is always asking when she's going to get to spend the night at her uncle's house or when if ever she's going to have cousins of her own to play with.
Some moms in our area have really talked about making something happen with the popsicle sticks. If you've never heard of that it's sort of a swap of babysitters so to speak. Each mom in the group starts out with a specific number of popsicle sticks. Each stick is good for a set amount of time babysitting for example maybe a stick is good for two hours. If everyone starts out with three sticks in their possession that gives each person up to six hours of free babysitting. When you need a babysitter you redeem your sticks to another friend who's also a stick holder and then you have to give up your stick to that person to pay for your childcare. The idea is that when you provide a babysitting service you earn more sticks and then you can turn around and redeem with someone else. Ideally you have at least three or four or five people in this stick game which allows you to call on more than the same person every time you need a babysitter. This also helps to ensure that there will be someone available and then no one takes advantage of the system by getting their children away more often than taking care of someone else's.
Most moms that have more than one child will tell you that having two children of your own is not any different than adding in two children of someone else's- because new friends and new faces means more playing between the children and usually less fighting. Always so excited to have a friend over and often times I'm not doing anything that prevents me from having a couple extra around. Especially if it's only for a few hours.
It's very easy to deal with four or five children in the house when you realize that at any given moment you might need to redeem a stick for a doctor appointment for yourself or something simple like massage or something more time Consuming, like changing clothes out for the seasons in your kids closets.
Can you believe that babysitters are like $5 an hour nowadays? It's insanity! I babysat broods for half that and I ran the vacuum and washed
Dishes and prepared meals and took them to swim lessons and folded laundry and gave baths. It's insane! I love my babysitter but I can't afford to pay one most of the time!
What I probably need is a Mother's Helper. Someone who can entertain my kids nearby for around $2 an hour while I accomplish tasks. *sigh*
Meagan ~ via blogpress on my iPhone :)
freeze and before I can do any of that I have to clean the kitchen and I do mean clean the kitchen. Getting these things done alone would not be easy but would be doable... but getting these things done while watching a three -year-old and a two year old and preparing their meals changing their diapers and keeping them from killing each other that's just, well that's nearly impossible.
Add to that the list of things that other people want me to do and I just don't know where to even begin. I am thinking that this week is going to be nice outside which also makes it difficult because I don't want to spend time in the house... I'd rather be outside with the kids enjoying the weather. And even if I didn't want to be outside it's not fair for me to keep the kids inside when it's so nice out because without me they can't be outside.
I also have my dad's birthday this week and a class reunion banquet planning meeting and also our trip to the zoo.
I have a lot of things that I want to do for other people or for other organizations but it becomes difficult when I find myself putting myself and my own family on the back burner constantly. That's not my goal and that doesn't make me feel like a good person or good wife or a good mother.
It's hard for me to say no to things that other people ask me to do... partially because I really honestly truly do want to help everyone that I possibly can... And partially because I found that if I say no the first time I end up saying yes later and having to fix whatever wasn't done right the first time. I've also found that people often say "if you don't have time to help me. Could you at least show me how to do it?" and I'm the kind of person that really would like someone else to know how to do it but the time that it takes to teach them is like three times longer than what it would take me to just do it myself... so in the end I end up just doing it and never saying no. This is not the answer either but I really haven't figured out yet what the answer is.
Recently I've been trying to come up with a different way to manage my time. Not just my time at home but my time spent doing things for other people because that's really important me. I want to find a way to make it work but I realize that I'm often taking on more than anyone else has ever been expected to do.
I spend a really heavy portion of my "me" time working on things for other people and for the most part this gives me the satisfaction of knowing that I've helped someone but at the same time it becomes really difficult to have any downtime.
This weekend I got so frustrated with myself and so upset that I wasn't able to better manage my time that I decided to just go AWOL for a while... just not answer my phone. not answer every text that I received. not answer every e-mail. not be that person on demand that has the answers that other people are looking for and not being the person that is giving up my me time to spend fixing another person's issues.
Most of the time I don't ask for, require, or even desire any form of payment for things that I do for other people. I see it as volunteering and I see it as knowing that I'm doing a good thing and then sometime down the line when I need someone to be there for me, they will be.
I think another thing that I'm getting better at is asking someone when their deadline is. Sometimes just stopping someone in their tracks and asking them to evaluate when they actually need something done by has helped me to figure out how much of an emergency It really is. I also have to realize that sometimes someone else's emergency is not my emergency. This seems to be the most difficult for me because I really want to react to someone else's need- but I realize I'm putting aside the needs of myself and my own family in an attempt to satisfy everyone else's desires.
Another thing that really frustrates me is the way that our society and our child rearing has changed. Among mothers my age what I often hear is that grandparents are absent or frequently too busy to spend time with their grandkids. In economic times like these grandparents are still working... many of them full time... and they often spend their free time doing other things and enjoying hobbies. Most parents my age talk about being children spending the entire days or entire weekends or sometimes even entire weeks with their grandparents when they were growing up. I don't think that most of us expect grandparents (our parents) to take our kids for an entire week, but when It can be so difficult to get something done or even to go on a date sometimes you make yourself wonder... what's wrong with my kids that my parents don't want to spend any time with them?
There's a greeting card out there now that makes light of Hillary Clinton's book "it takes a village"- I sent it to a mom friend of mine once... I believe the front says something about if it takes a village to raise a child and then you open the card and it says something about which way to the damn village?
Would you believe that my husband and I are not alone in the fact that we have actual arguments over the fact that our parents don't take the kids unless we asked them to... And even then sometimes it's hard to find anyone who wants to take the kids even for a few hours. It's especially hard for our kids because they don't have any cousins and their aunts and uncles are still busy... single or newly married people... that don't really want to spend their time hanging out with kids. Poor Ardyn is always asking when she's going to get to spend the night at her uncle's house or when if ever she's going to have cousins of her own to play with.
Some moms in our area have really talked about making something happen with the popsicle sticks. If you've never heard of that it's sort of a swap of babysitters so to speak. Each mom in the group starts out with a specific number of popsicle sticks. Each stick is good for a set amount of time babysitting for example maybe a stick is good for two hours. If everyone starts out with three sticks in their possession that gives each person up to six hours of free babysitting. When you need a babysitter you redeem your sticks to another friend who's also a stick holder and then you have to give up your stick to that person to pay for your childcare. The idea is that when you provide a babysitting service you earn more sticks and then you can turn around and redeem with someone else. Ideally you have at least three or four or five people in this stick game which allows you to call on more than the same person every time you need a babysitter. This also helps to ensure that there will be someone available and then no one takes advantage of the system by getting their children away more often than taking care of someone else's.
Most moms that have more than one child will tell you that having two children of your own is not any different than adding in two children of someone else's- because new friends and new faces means more playing between the children and usually less fighting. Always so excited to have a friend over and often times I'm not doing anything that prevents me from having a couple extra around. Especially if it's only for a few hours.
It's very easy to deal with four or five children in the house when you realize that at any given moment you might need to redeem a stick for a doctor appointment for yourself or something simple like massage or something more time Consuming, like changing clothes out for the seasons in your kids closets.
Can you believe that babysitters are like $5 an hour nowadays? It's insanity! I babysat broods for half that and I ran the vacuum and washed
Dishes and prepared meals and took them to swim lessons and folded laundry and gave baths. It's insane! I love my babysitter but I can't afford to pay one most of the time!
What I probably need is a Mother's Helper. Someone who can entertain my kids nearby for around $2 an hour while I accomplish tasks. *sigh*
Meagan ~ via blogpress on my iPhone :)
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